Matthew 25:1-13

       Party on Garth

       1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be compared to ten maidens who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; 4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. 5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, `Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.' 7 Then all those maidens rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, `Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.' 9 But the wise replied, `Perhaps there will not be enough for us and for you; go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.' 10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast; and the door was shut. 11 Afterward the other maidens came also, saying, `Lord, lord, open to us.' 12 But he replied, `Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.' 13 Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

       I am amazed by the almost biblical sanction of partying in this reading. It seems that both the foolish and the wise want to attend the feast (party). The difference between the two is who is prepared and who is not. The reading clearly indicates a party, life going on as usual and some of the cast not prepared for what is coming.

       It isn't enough for us to say that God loves us and wants us to have a grand old time 24/7/365. God loves us but the message is clear, we have to be realistic about life and plan as well. Of course we have to plan and expect that at some point we will be called back to our Lord but what about preparations for life and living? How do we prepare while we are here? How do we find a balance between preparing for then and the now?

        God loves us, this is true. God created us special, this is true. God wants us to be happy and enjoy life, this is also true. God has given us friends, family, a planet and all of these things, including things that we feel we 'own', that are actually only entrusted to us. We prepare for life by respecting it all and using what has been entrusted to us wisely. This is a journey of growth through learning, enlightenment and prayer. These are things we are responsible for on our journey as much as God wants us to be happy and have a good time.

       By all means, party on Garth but keep one foot in reality.

       

1Cor. 1:9  and  Mt. 24:42-44
        The time is coming

God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord

42 Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. 43 But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into. 44 Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect. 

        It is a common expression that Christians are Easter people. We are people of hope,expectation and new life.  In the period of time, years, after Jesus' death the second coming was expected soon, in their lifetime.  That did not materialize. Still, the hope and expectation is emblazoned in our hearts.

        We do not know when Jesus is coming again, no more than we know when a thief may come in the night or the phone will ring at 3am with bad news. We are not soothsayers.

        But what we do know is that God is faithful and loving. As such, our expectations take on more than waiting for the end times so often predicted by oddball preachers. We take on the expectation of good things because that is what God wants for all of his children, no matter what.  

     As a faithful person we are called into a mutual loving relationship with our creator, we are called to believe that we were created intentionally and with great love, we are called to expect the fruits of that love in our lives and we are called to act as facilitators of that love.  We do knot know what form our gifts will take or when they will come. But we are called to expect them because we know that God loves us.

      The time is coming, expect the best.

Mark 6:17-29

       What price ?

17 For Herod had sent and seized John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Hero'di-as, his brother Philip's wife; because he had married  her. 18 For John said to Herod, "It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife." 19 And Hero'di-as had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. But she could not, 20 for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and kept him safe. When he heard him, he was much perplexed; and yet he  heard him gladly. 21 But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his courtiers and officers and the leading men of Galilee.  22 For when Hero'di-as' daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, "Ask me for whatever you  wish, and I will grant it." 23 And he vowed to her, "Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom." 24 And she went out, and said to her mother, "What shall I ask?" And she said, "The head of John the baptizer." 25 And she came in immediately with haste to the king, and asked, saying, "I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter." 26 And the king was exceedingly sorry; but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. 27 And immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard and gave orders to bring his head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, 28 and brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl; and the girl gave it to her mother. 29 When his disciples heard of it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb.

      Lightness or darkness? Truth or Lies?  Which ones would you prefer? Well, if you have to die for it, perhaps you think a little darkness might be ok or perhaps a little lie might be ok.

      John the Baptist did not settle. Perhaps he did not realize the risk he was taking by proclaiming the coming Messiah. He wound up paying the ultimate price.

       We have two choices to make in life. One involves our faith and one involves who we are as people. It is extremely rare these days that someone is asked to pay the ultimate price for their faith in Jesus Christ although it does still occur. These people are true martyrs. This is not to be confused with jihadist bombers who consider themselves martyrs for their faith. It is still quite dangerous to admit that you are Jewish in many parts of the world. Would we be willing to stand up and say "I am a Jew" knowing the price you may pay? I honour those that do. We revere stories of people who risked thieir own lives to save the lives of Jewish loved ones and total strangers. There is power and honor in speaking the truth and owning what you say and do for a just cause.

       These days it almost seems fashionable to come out gay. To own up to who you are is still risky business though. I have spoken of the risks I took in coming out once I realized I was gay.  You may not  be beheaded but there are extreme emotional risks and prices you may have to pay, and yet we do it. We have to come out. We have to acknowledge who we are. It is as important as our faith because it is who God made us to be. I am heartened when I hear of someone who has stayed closeted for years deciding they have to come out because they realize the power, the dignity and the role they can play in helping others take pride and speak the truth of their own.

         We need to come out, not be outed. We need to take the risk. We need to have dignity and self respect. It really is as important as our faith, they are integrally mixed. We need to honor and support everyone's journey from the darkness into the light.  

Matthew 23:23-26

       

23 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith; these you ought to have done, without  neglecting the others. 24 You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel! 25 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you cleanse the outside of the cup and of the plate, but inside they are full of extortion and rapacity. 26 You blind Pharisee! first cleanse the inside of the cup and of the plate, that the outside also may be clean.

       Once again in todays scripture reading Jesus is rebuking the temple elite for their hypocrisy and I love it because I immediately see the correlation to what is going on today in our own churches.

       I'm not sure how much I would love it though if someone were to point the hypocrisies in my own life. But isn't that also what Jesus is saying to me in this reading. Isn't it a bit hypocritical for me to point out what's wrong with the church, the world, politics and all the while I fail to address what is wrong with me? 

        Part of the reason I write this blog is to share my own thoughts and hopefully give strength to others or give thoughts to others. I am not exempt from introspection or learning. Truly, the only one who can point out hypocrisy without fear of looking at oneself was our Lord. None of us is in that category.

       So today I have to ask you and me, what are own blindspots? What can we do to see better? I think most of us have the experience of putting on a new pair of glasses and the world becomes clearer, crisper, sharper. What can we do to recognize our blindspots and what can we do to cure them?

       Today is day two of a conference I am attending on affirmative action. I presume I was invited because of my involvement in the LGBTQ community.  Spending many years of my youth as a the only white kid in predominantly afro-american community, I thought I understood more tan the average joe. The meetings I attended yesterday have shown me just how much I don't know. Another blind spot. So not only have I discovered I didn't know as much as I thought I did in regards to affirmative action, I also discovered a bit of arrogance on my part. A big solution to our blindspots is first, not to be arrogant enough to thing we already have all the answers when in fact we never can. If we are lucky we may have a small piece of an answer.  We shouldn't let ourselves think that just because we know a little about something, it makes us an expert.

        Today I will pray for a whole host of people in my life who have asked for help and people I see who are in need of love, support and answers. I will also pray for myself in all humbleness. God please help me to remember you gave me two ears and only one mouth.

Matthew 23:13-22

         Godspel

13 "But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you shut the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither enter yourselves, nor allow those who would enter to go in. 15 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you traverse sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you  make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves. 16 "Woe to you, blind guides, who say, `If any one swears by the temple, it is nothing; but if any one swears by the gold of the temple, he is  bound by his oath.' 17 You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that has made the gold sacred? 18 And you say, `If any one swears by the altar, it is nothing; but if any one swears by the gift that is on the altar, he is bound by his oath.' 19 You blind men! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred? 20 So he who swears by the altar, swears by it and by everything on it; 21 and he who swears by the temple, swears by it and by him who dwells in it; 22 and he who swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by him who sits upon it.

       When I think of this reading I cannot help but think of the fun and message of Godspel on Broadway. How fantastic. But the sad part is that todays reading is as true today as it was in Jesus' time.

       There are a multitude of churches that would have you believe that being gay is a sin, or loving someone is a sin. The rules are set forth for us to obey and supposedly, enable us to enter the kingdom of heaven easily by obeying His laws. The fact is, these 'laws' are their laws, not God's. So Jesus says woe to you! (Church) Hypocrites that they are.

       It is critically important for you to realize that you are loved and created in God's image, that you are loved and were created by God's design and wishes. DO NOT let any church or any person tell you or try to convince you otherwise. Keep the fact that you are loved and special close to your heart and know it no matter what anyone says. It may be difficult at times but keep your head high and do not let the hypocrites lead you astray. 

       In due time, you will see the kingdom of heaven before they do I assure you of that. 

       

      

Psalm 84

          Amazing, wonderful God filled place

84:1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!

84:2 My soul longs, indeed it faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.
84:3 Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God.

84:4 Happy are those who live in your house, ever singing your praise. Selah

84:5 Happy are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

84:6 As they go through the valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.

84:7 They go from strength to strength; the God of gods will be seen in Zion.

84:8 O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah

84:9 Behold our shield, O God; look on the face of your anointed.

84:10 For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than live in the tents of wickedness.

84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; he bestows favor and honor. No good thing does the LORD withhold from those who walk uprightly.

84:12 O LORD of hosts, happy is everyone who trusts in you.

       I often speak about setting side time to listen to God. I suppose most people think I mean heading to their house of worship and being in His presence. While I think that's a splendid idea, what I really advocate is standing where you are at any given moment, and taking in your surroundings.  I believe that this is probably better than the first idea. As soon as you leave church one of the first things you do is pick up your armor to battle the parking lot (if you are Catholic). When you take time from your ordinary day, you allow God to be present in the moment, in your routine, in your normal life. What a difference that makes. God is no longer removed to some special location. God is now with you in whatever moment you are in, wherever you happen to be. If you silence yourself and look around you'll see all kinds of God created wonders and sights to awe you. That not only includes the birds, the sun, the stars, the trees, the mountains, a lone flower or countless other gifts of wonder, it includes people - and they are gifts from God as well. Of course you do have o try and be present in that moment.

       When you do what I am suggesting you find yourself in an amazing, wonderful God filled place all the time. It is a wonderful place to live. You may be so joyful that people may actually think you are living on another planet. I think that's just what they may say "what planet are they living on?". What you really are attaining is a quietness of soul, a constant presence of God in your life, a higher plane of existence if you will.

       Yesterday Neil Armstrong died, the first man to step onto the surface of our moon. In  remembrance of him his family asked that you look up at the moon this evening and be persent to the accomplishments of this man and of mankind.  I would suggest the same thing but with the twist of what I just wrote about. Be present to this wonderful world, the beauty, majesty and infiniteness of the heavens above; be present to the gift this man was to us and what he helped show we are capable of if we allow ourselves to all use the gifts God gave us together. Think of the infinite possibilities of life and be tankful and joyful for what we have been given

Matthew 23:1-12

            A Catholic election

       1 Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples, 2 "The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat; 3 so practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice. 4 They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger. 5 They do all their deeds to be seen by men; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, 6 and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues, 7 and salutations in the market places, and being called rabbi by men. 8 But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brethren. 9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called masters, for you have one master, the Christ. 11 He who is greatest among you shall be your servant; 12 whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

       Enlarging your Phylactery is not going to make you a holier person. In Jesus' time there was a tension between the temple elite and the ordinary faithful person. Bearing in mind that Jesus was a practicing Jew, he appears to show disdain for the actions and 'laws' set forth by the Rabbi's and temple elite. There is a tension between the 'hierarchy' and the Jew in the pew. (I couldn't resist even though the visual is wrong)

        It is so very much the same today in the Roman Catholic Church. When you think of the heap of laws, the elaborate pageantry, the pope's bright red shoes, the fixation of maintaining 'the church'

over what is right and just. It amazes me all the time. On the one hand we have the most of the Bishops who follow Rome like a puppy on a leash, they cover up and protect pedophiles over the victims; they are more concerned perpetuating their male dominated rule and clinging to stances and dogmas that they have deluded themselves into thinking are absolutes and not subject to enlightenment - ever. On the other hand, there is the faithful. In that group I would include the average faithful Christian, who loves Jesus and clings to the Gospel message of love, charity and social justice. Certainly not eliminating the law but certainly seeing the value of conscience and people as God created them.They are epitomized by the 'nuns on a bus'.

       This tension seems to have existed for thousands of years, no matter what 'church' we are speaking of. This tension is taking a front seat in the Presidential election with two Catholic men running in the Vice Presidential slots. Interestingly, each candidate seems aligned with one of the two views I outlined above.  One candidate (Ryan) is of a hierarchical nature where so much can be overlooked, problems with social justice, love of neighbor and service to the poor, as long as we have a strong focus on stopping all abortion at all costs. The other candidate (Biden) , while also deeply faithful, seems more concerned to put his faith into action as Jesus preached and is typified in todays reading. 

         This is one of several glaring dichotomies that we are faced with in this election. Two visions of Catholicism. The hierarchy holds no punches over whose corner they are standing in and they have a strong voice. The average faithful person though also has a strong voice. When all is said and done, it is the ballot that counts most but it requires action not passivity. 

       There is a concept in Catholicism called sensus fidelium. I say concept, because it does not seem to bear much fruit in the hierarchy, it is not evidenced in the the actions or policies of the magisterium. A fine example would be birth control that almost every Catholic believes in and practices. It is a silent voice of truth that the magisterium refuses to acknowledge even though in it's arrogance it should.

          This same sensus fidelium is what can help keep control of a vision and say no! to the small minded well funded voice of the temple elite who have no other interest than increasing their own phylacteries and keeping the average faithful, 'conscience ridden' Gospel follower in the trenches far below their elevated ranks.

        

     

      

     

Matthew 22:34-40

        Loving yourself is loving God

       34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they came together. 35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question, to test him. 36 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" 37 And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment.39 And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."

       There was a time when it was fashionable for young people to skip a year of college to "find themselves". I wouldn't make light of it because finding out who you are is integral to loving yourself, being able to love others and being your best at contributing to society as a whole. The truth is though, some people never find themselves.  In the case of many gay people, they may have an inkling of who they are, they may actually have found themselves but they wind up spending more time hiding themselves. I believe it is somewhat easier today for a person to acknowledge that they are gay. There are plenty of good role models and the bigotry, while still out there, has lessened. Bigotry, not unlike the bigotry against blacks, is based on fear, ignorance, stereotypes and sadly, organized religion in many cases.

       In today's reading Jesus notes the great commandments of Loving God and loving your neighbor as yourself. You really must love yourself before anything else. I am not talking about a me centered, bitchy queen type of attitude. It is not all about you. But as far as God is concerned, your creator, the One who designed you, conceived you in his/her mind and thought you'd be the perfect addition to the world, you should develop to acknowledge and love that creation that you are. If you acknowledge who you are and live up to your full potential, you are in fact showing love and respect for God as much as you are loving and respecting yourself. That is what I think God wants for all of us. It is healthy and normal. The question that holds some people back s what actually is normal. I am going on the premise that being gay is normal, at least for someone created gay; just as much as being straight is normal for someone who is straight. Barring societal, family or religious pressure you usually know on which team you are playing. They say about 10% of humans are homosexual. I am not sure what the statistics would be in the rest of God's animal kingdom but I do know it is there, recognized and prevalent. We all should be what we are meant to be. Love, own it, embrace, revel in it. 

      If you take a step back, look at yourself clearly and completely, you will see a wondrous creation in every aspect and I believe that will point you to God in thanksgiving, wonder and love. 

       

Matthew 22:1-10
          You're invited !

          1And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying, 2 "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a marriage feast for his son,3 and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the marriage feast;but they would not come. 4 Again he sent other servants, saying, `Tell those who are invited, Behold, I have made ready my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves are killed, and everything is ready; come to the marriage feast.' 5 But they made light of it and went off, one to his farm, another to his business, 6 while the rest seized his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. 7 The king was angry, and he sent his troops and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. 8 Then he said to his servants, `The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. 9 Go therefore to the thoroughfares, and invite to the marriage feast as many as you find.' 10 And those servants went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good; so the wedding hall was filled with guests. 

        The reading today speaks of invitations offered and declined. It also speaks of extending invitations to those who would not have otherwise been invited.  

       Jesus came to redeem the lost sheep of Israel. But as any 'parent' will tell you, there can really be no favorites. Each child may be different but you love each one no more than the other. You appreciate, love and embrace the differences in your children. I imagine that is the same with God and as Jesus, it is the same. So we find Jesus ministering to everyone, Jew and Gentile alike. His love really had no bounds. How could he limit his message of love and life? Even within the history of the Church following Jesus' death, the message and faith was not limited to the Jewish population that Jesus primarily spent time with. After all he was a Jew himself. The church discerned  the movement of the Spirit and opened up the message to everyone and the Good News spread due to the faith and diligence of the Apostles  and on and on.

      The reading today speaks of a wedding feast. The invited guests, the chosen one's (to attend), turned their back on the invitation and the a whole new group was summoned to celebrate the feast.

      I cannot help but think of my own marriage, made possible in this great state only last year.  I can see a parallel to this scripture and the current state of marriage in the world.  Legal marriage was essentially limited to heterosexuals. What is the state of the institution today? What is the divorce rate? What is the rate of infidelity? How high has that risen?  And aside from the failure of so many marriages, what is state of morals in society? This all seems like people declining God's invitation to love. It seems that the gay community is the one that is seeking approval for legally sanctioned, committed long term relationships. Heterosxuals have given us brothels, "titty bars",  and weekend pickup joints.  It would be completely wrong to attribute amoral behavior to the gay community alone when the population at large is perhaps more guilty of amorality.

    The scriptural analogy is that heterosexuals have turned their backs in many ways on a moral life and so now, the institution of marriage is now open to homosexuals as well.  The message goes to one group and winds up going to all. Actually the need for us to live with a soul mate, straight or gay is probably a more representative translation of the creation accounts. 'It is not right for man to be alone'.

      This is not to be an effort at bashing the heterosexual community.  Simply, to acknowledge that amorality exists in every community. It is faith and love and our committment to others in any community that produces good living.  The good news of the Gospels is open to everyone because God loves us all, every one. 

        Pray to God always to live well, to become whom you were created to be in all it's glory and pray to find that soul mate no matter who you are.

Matthew 20:1-16
       Illegal but loved    

       Several years ago, I spent time in two missions in the Dominican Republic. This was no pleasure cruise to Punta Cana. This was life in a small dusty town near the boarder with Haiti. The people were impoverished  yet rich in faith. They lived in basic one room huts with dirt floors, no plumbing and window openings with no glass. Still, it was a blessing to go and experience their love and their lives. I noticed the presence of our major US agro companies there, they paid these people peanuts for their crops of bananas and coffee beans. I came home rich with stories and appreciation for our life here in the United States.
     
       One of things about life in these United States, strongly linked to our way of life is the stock market and our companies.  In fact as I approach retirement, how companies do and how the stock market goes has particular import to me. Still, I can't help but think that the poor wages our US companies pay the DR people allows our stock values (and retirement portfolios) to rise as the companies' bottom lines are kept low, even if it keeps these people impoverished. If only there was a place where these people could go to break free of this corporate tyranny and make it on their own in a promised land.

        And so, foreigners of all kind seek our shores because of what we have (and they want) as well as because of what we do to keep them impoverished in their homeland. It's not an easy situation.

     I think of that when I see all these 'illegal aliens' standing on the corners in the morning looking for work. I wonder if it's all that different from the scene that todays reading describes. It certainly is something to think about. These people are willing to work very hard and in many cases at jobs 'we' don't want to do. I really don't think shipping them all home is a reasonable solution for either of us.

      When I read the scripture, the other thought that I think we cannot escape is the image of generosity of the landowner (really, God). Are we willing to accept that God would be equally generous with our brothers and sisters even if they haven't toiled as much as we have?  Clearly God does not use that measuring stick as a guide. Do we?

       A good meditation might be to think about God's generosity to us. Be thankful for being born here. Also, think about how generous we are to our brothers and sisters. The same notation I made yesterday is in todays reading as well. The last shall be first and the first shall be last. Just something to think about, maybe pray about.

Matthew 19:23-30

        The eye of the needle, with God all things are possible

       This reading is rich with messages from God.  What comes to mind however is a campaign trail controversy from not too long ago. President Obama had made a comment on personal success in business. Basically, if anyone is successful, they have not done it alone. Whether it's family, employees, government grants or even the infrastructure of this great country that helps us to succeed, no matter what, you did not succeed by yourself.  I have noticed a great many people that seem arrogantly proud at what they have accomplished. They hoard their wealth as if they personally earned every penny of their millions. " I worked hard for every penny I have! "  I've got news for these folks, many, many people work hard and do not succeed.

         I'd have taken an even bigger step than what President Obama said and I would have the scripture read, that nothing is possible without God. While I do not believe that God would intervene to make your business go better, I do believe it is through God's good graces that we are able to accomplish anything. That starts with each breath we take, counts in our family and friends' support, our health, the brain God gave us and on and on. Ultimately, our thanks should go to God for everything. Anything else is arrogance.

         For those who think that is is they that have done it all, the scripture today adds a footnote,

many that are first will be last, and the last first. If you make the choice to put yourself first, you will be last.

Matthew 19:16-22

       Sell what you have

       I noted in yesterdays blog that true happiness comes from within, not wealth. Wealth can easily give yourself the illusion of happiness. The most notable example I can think of is Christina Onassis.
I leave you to google about this woman of incredible wealth who died at 37. 

        In the reading today we hear of a man similar perhaps to Christina. He apparently had it all. He had the wealth, the success and obeyed the Ten Commandments. Yet this man had a burning in is soul that made him realize there was more, he was not fulfilled. It is an age old story. It is why perhps many Gold Coast mansions wound up in the hands of the Church. The wealthy realize there is something more. They live too greedily and it burns their hearts out. So what is a fellow to do? Jesus' answer to the man in this reading was to sell all his belongings and give it to the poor.

      I am not sure any of us ready for that move yet. This does however point once more to where we find happiness. It may be a twist of irony that gay men and women find more happiness than most. I'm not speaking sexually though I think we should all be happy with our own sexuality. That's a part of who we are and happiness is finding that and embracing it.

       Gay men and women often give up everything to find their happiness.  And That is the point. Not unlike myself, realizing I was gay at the age of 50, I eventually offered to give up everything and was graced with more than I had ever dreamed possible. In coming out, I could have very realistically lost everything I had ever found of value. Some of it money, some of it status, most of it people whom I love. This is what I had to do to find my own happiness, my happiness within, my wholeness. Our stories in the gay community are all different but similar non the same. We know what makes us truly happy and it comes from within and it is not based on money.

       I repeat,  know that true happiness and true beauty comes from within. 

1 Kings 2:10-12; 3:3-14

       The Wisdom of Solomon

       This morning our houseguest asked for something that could take care of her post nasal drip because it was making her nauseous. The way we think, quite often we opt to give something for being nauseous or something for the post nasal drip. In my guests case, she has high blood pressure and I was wise enough (and awake enough) to ask what medications she was already taking. I could give her something to take care of the post nasal drip that would take care of the nauseousness but with the blood pressure issue, that would not be a good idea. What I offered was an anti-histamine, an allergy pill. The idea is, take care of the allergy that is causing the runny nose which is making her nauseous.

         What does this have to do with Solomon?  So often in life, we are always looking to solve a problem by treating the symptoms. That avenue usually produces a temporary solution or causes other unforeseen problems.

         Life is so full of problems and drama. It seems easier to offer quick offhanded solutions to people.  What many solutions need is the wisdom of Solomon. Perhaps more thought, more caring, some introspection. 

        The scripture reading is quite telling. Solomon doesn't ask God for riches, wealth or the death of his enemies, he asks for wisdom. In so doing he actually was given it all.  I think that may be very true with us as well. One could ask for money thinking that will bring us happiness but it does not. It can help, but it does not bring us true happiness. True happiness comes from within, being yourself. 

          Right now, for whatever reason, I am thinking of Tim Gunn from project runway. After the garments are made he says "use the accessory wall thoughtfully". It would be easy to throw a purse in the models hand but it might clash, look horrible, not go with the design aesthetic. It takes thought, taking a step back and looking at the big picture. When you do, the solution is perfect - like the wisdom of Solomon.

          Let's pray to approach life with more thought, more caring, with some introspection. And always, know that true happiness and true beauty comes from within. 

          

         

Matthew 19:13-15
       Rebuked

       There's a whole heap of rebuking going on in this reading. ( I love that word, rebuke ) First the disciples rebuke the people and then it is Jesus who rebukes the disciples.  Sounds like a bit of a tussle going on in front of the crowd. I can't help but think how much 'rebuking' would be going on if Jesus were right here with us today. I have some strong ideas of who'd be in serious trouble, the reading itself gives you a clue.  I bet you may have some ideas of your own.

        It seems there are a great many 'disciples' these days that try to keep people away from Jesus. If we are to listen to the 'princes of the church' , there are so many people who are not worthy enough to be close to Jesus.  So many people in so much trouble, sinners all. By proclamation in the media and pulpit, people are told  how wrong hearted they are and that they need to be in harmony with official 'church teaching'. Let's see, who is on the D-list list today. A young woman beaten by her first husband who has since found a good and decent man, the man of her dreams, her soul mate who she has since married. Not worthy! Taking birth control pills ? unworthy. Gay? unworthy.  Having sex outside of marriage? unworthy. A nun? probably unworthy too.  Disobedient to 'the church'? unworthy. Guilty of a cover-up of a pedophile? worthy. (sorry, I couldn't resist)

All of these people must first repent and change to conform to their ideas of what is right and wrong. Of course it must be true, they have power, centuries of tradition and all sorts of pseudo logic to support their position.

       Jesus had no such limits on his love. Jesus accepted all the children when even his apostles tried to keep them away. The New Testament is replete with stories of Jesus touching the 'unclean'. Jesus spent days speaking with a Samaritan women by the well. OMG! Do you realize the magnitude of that statement??  A woman?? A Samaritan? Divorced how many times? Living in sin?   How about the lepers Jesus touched? The prostitutes, tax collectors. The list is endless.

       Jesus welcomes all, not just the the chosen ones. Not only does he do this by example but in this reading he actually rebukes his very own Apostles. Do you get it?

       We are all welcome. The church has been hijacked ! 

        Ponder that. Think groups like Catholics for Equality. Think, who is speaking the message of Jesus Christ today? Who speaks of love and inclusiveness? If WE are the children of God, remain as children but do not let anyone or any church keep us from Him. Don't let anyone keep us from holding on to Jesus' love and message that He loves us all.

       Who would be rebuked today if Jesus were here right now?  

          

        

Matthew 19:3-12

       For the Bible tells me so

       I am probably guilty of being too gleeful at this reading and for all the wrong reasons.

If you are to take this reading at face value, (I mean really , how much clearer could you possible get?), divorce by Jesus' own words is anathema. And yet, every mainstream religion in Christianity allows divorce and so does Judaism. I'll plead ignorance about some of the world's other religions.  As for Roman Catholicism, they do not permit divorce, they have 'annulments'. wink. wink.  (that will be a topic for another blog entry).

      The point is this. The religious right (err, wrong) is focused on gay marriage. They fixate on a type of sex, which is prevalent in both hetero and homo sexual relationships no matter what 'act' your speaking of. They say it's a 'lifestyle' , a choice and refuse to acknowledge marriage as a loving committed relationship all while it is not prohibited in the  bible directly in any way. Certainly not as direct as Jesus' statement  against divorce. In fact any prohibitions are against immoral acts and they are taken out of context. Prohibitions against male prostitution with children, that is mentioned if you care to look at the texts in their contextual and intended translations. Using that to paint a broader picture against a loving committed same sex relationship is wrong.  In fact, the Bible in both Hebrew and Christian scripture does in fact speak of same sex relationships and only in the best of terms, Jonathan and David, Ruth and Naomi, the Centurion and his 'servant'.

      What I am getting at here is that there is one issue that the conservative right focuses on and that is not in the Bible as they would have us believe. For some reason they are not nearly as attentive to some other biblically prohibited or even their very own prohibited practices;  say pre-marital sex (living together before marriage, as in 99% of all couples presenting themselves for marriage in the Catholic church), adultery (cheating on your spouse, a favorite of many a evangelical preacher and religious right politician) and the aforementioned divorce (too many people to even mention).

         So, lets look at what the Bible says about all these subjects, literally or inferred. I would say God is happier with a loving same sex couple than almost any of the other situations.

         I'm not judging, I'm just say'n.

       

        

Matthew 18:21-19:1      

       from your heart

       I can recall a seriously chubby young man, long hair, platform shoes, white bell bottoms, floral shirt and a simple pendant that read "70x7". Seriously, how did I not know I was gay??? 

       That penant though was from this very scripture reading. 'Forgive your brother not up to 7 times, but seventy times seven'. Considering the numerical significance of the number seven, that's a lot of forgiving we are supposed to do. Sometimes forgiving someone seems like the hardest task in the world.  I am amused at those who have conquered the forgiveness but hasten to add "but I never forget". The point seems to be missed.

       I am reminded of that last phrase because the reading adds that you should forgive your brother "from the heart". That puts a rather serious qualification on our forgiveness.  It seems to be true and total forgiveness. That would be, the kind of forgiveness we receive from our God. 

        There is great freedom in forgiveness. After all, the expression that being angry with someone is like letting them live in your head rent free is quite true. I wish I could give some miraculous words that will allow us all, including myself, some way to totally forgive. Real forgiveness, forgiveness for truly hard issues is a real effort.

        I have hope that I can attain this goal set by our Lord, you know the guy who forgave his crucifiers as he was hanging there on the cross. I am also reminded of a story I read of  Father Titus Brandsma. He was tortured in incredibly evil ways by the SS in Dachau. As a "nurse" injected him with phenol, his last act was to forgive her. Powerful. Simultaneously a reminder of the incredible evil in the world as well as the amazing capacity we have for love and forgive. The power of the latter I think comes form God. I am not sure we are capable of such forgiveness on our own. Th trick may be putting our anger at feet of our Lord for He does have the power we lack and he surely will help us conquer the anger we may be harboring.

       My husband and I have a motion we go through as we try to forget something bad or try to forgive. We crumple up our anger like it was a virtual piece of paper and through it away, out the window, over our shoulder.  I suspect that sometimes we are simply throwing it away but not forgetting. In our efforts to achieve total forgiveness we need to have the strength of our God. If we ask and put our faith in Him, he will help us achieve our goal, his mandate to forgive and love our brother.

         "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven

Luke 1:39-56

        Mother Mary come to me..

       When I was quite a bit younger, a teenager perhaps, I had a strong attraction to Mary, Jesus' mother. I was struck by her willingness to accept God's will, His  plan, knowing that she would be subjecting herself to almost certain (in those days) condemnation and likely would be stoned to death for adultery. After all, she had not 'been with' Joseph. I was struck by this and  looked at my life with this prism:  was I willing to stand up for Christ, say it loud, follow his designs for me?

     I would say I am ashamed of myself had I a full awareness of what God wanted me to be. I sought out spirituality as the goal. I sought God's word. I tried to emulate the life of Jesus as best I could in all that I did and was.  Again, as if this is what God wanted me to be. That may be how God wanted me to act but in fact, God wanted me to be, well......ME!  My journey to wholeness that focused on following His word as the final answer was actually a diversion of sorts, perhaps to the truer answer.  Now, with some additional prayer and meditation, I still see the strong similarity of my life and the example Mary set.

     To be willing to stand up and say something that will not be well received even if you know it is true. Our heroes in life are often one's who have done just that, Parks, Mandela.  I have several heroes that I look up to as shining examples. Now I can include myself.

       The strength needed to 'come out' of my personal cocoon and say I am gay and THAT is what God wants me to be because that is what he made me and live a holy life as such, no less than anyone else.

Mt. 18:1-5, 10, 12-14
                You've got to be carefully taught

         Jesus is pretty clear about us remaining childlike. I suppose the crux of the issue would be how you take that suggestion. I like to think it's about all the good qualities that children have.  They are filled with wonder and awe. Think magic tricks and bugs, butterflies and rainbows. The simplest things will amuse them, a song, a cardboard box, playing in the dirt. Kids see what we might consider  impossible things as possible. Think all the things they 'want to be' when they grow up. Think the excitement of entering a contest on a cereal box that they just know they'll win. Think generosity and love, sharing an ice cream cone or randomly giving hugs out like they are free! I think kids and I think these things and more, all good.

       This is what Jesus is talking when he wants us to remain childlike. Filled with wonder, trusting, loving and generous.

       Somewhere along the line kids lose that ability, those magnificent traits. The new slate that is celebrated at Baptism becomes shaded, jaded if you will. I'm not sure who is responsible for this change but I do know it's by example. I can't help but think of South Pacific and the song that goes "You've got to be taught to hate and fear, you've got to be taught from year to year, it's got to be drummed in your dear little ear, you've got to be carefully taught". It's so true.

       This reading is so clear about this it is another charge to us. We should foster and respect a childlike nature in all of us. We should be equally serious about what we show others in how we live so they don't get let astray by our example. 

       Keep the wonder alive in our hearts.

Matthew 17:22-27

       Taxation with representation

       Everyone has things in their lives that they hate to do. Some things we may refuse to do, put off to another day or do very grudgingly. Todays reading is about one of those subjects, paying taxes. I think we are pretty much all on board about the value and need of paying our taxes even if it is quite a national issue right now during this election year.

       So, in my own meditation about things we hate to do that started with taxes, it came around to politics. That happens to be another subject most people have no desire to get involved in or discuss in public forums. 

       

       But here's the thing. There are things you hate to do but you do them anyway, you have to really. You may hate to clean but you do it anyway because you might wind up living in a house that resembles a hoarders heaven. You can supply your own list of hate to do things as well I'm sure.

       If you happen to be gay, you have to get involved in politics, now more than ever. Your future rights as a citizen, as a human being, may be determined by this election. I don't think that is too much of an overstatement. Of the charges that Jesus made, this reading was about the necessity of you paying taxes. His big charges, the two great commandments, were His most famous charges. Love your neighbor as yourself and love your God with al your heat, all your mind and all your soul. That one about loving your neighbor and yourself. If you do love yourself, respect yourself and value your own freedom; if you love your neighbor as yourself, other gay and lesbian people, then you MUST get involved in politics NOW. Complacency is not an option and it is a charge of our faith, of Jesus who commands us for love of our brothers and sisters to act on their behalf and our own behalf.

       As gay humans, created by God with love, with inalienable rights granted by Him, we must stand up for our own rights, our dignity and people who will represent and promote equal rights for us under the law.

         Remember, taxation with representation.

Ephesians 4:25-5:2 and John 6:41-51

       Gossip mongers

       No matter where you go, there are people that gossip. Perhaps that could be excused if it was all the truth. However, more often than not it is their version of the truth, or half truth as I'd say.  Many times they are judgmental and or blatant lies.

       I am sure there are people at this very minute, perhaps people from church, work or neighbors that have absolutely horrible things to say about me. Wasn't I a Deacon of the church? Didn't he leave his wife? Isn't he an avowed homosexual? We are all subject to every sort of  gossip, lies and stories, that is if we have ever lived or breathed a single breath.  People have always been this way if we listen to the readings today.

       Todays gospel reading from John has Jesus being slammed by people because, well, isn't this Joseph and Mary's son? What is this nonsense about coming from heaven and being the bread of life. People talk. The reading today from Ephesians is clear, "Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.."

         If God has forgiven us we should one, forgive others for sure. We certainly all make mistakes while on our journey to wholeness and holiness. And two, let there be no gossip or bad words. Listen with an open heart and mind, pray hard and lift up everyone for God loves them at least as much as God loves you.

     Lastly, I am recalling a reading from Pocketful of Miracles , given to me by my old friend Stuart. Words to ponder as we live our lives in fear of gossip, slander and lies; the three things we're giving up after today, right? Here it is:

               If our actions stem from honesty, kindness, caring and vision, then, no matter

               what the results of our efforts, we have added something of value to our souls

               and to the world.

Matthew 17:14-20

       Faith of a Mustard seed

       I have previously written about how hard it is to come to terms with one's sexuality. We all have our own story to tell, our own book that we could write if you will. I have told some of my story in previous blogs. An additional fact for me is my lifelong journey of faith. I sought out God all my life and I believe it was a search for my own wholeness. This resulted in more than 20 years of Catholic education as well as various courses, retreats and spiritual programs, but a solid 20 years from first grade through to obtaining an MA in pastoral theology.

       This amount of education by itself will not grant you spiritual maturity or a perfect faith. But I believe that doing so with a pure heart and searching for God in earnest with all your heart ad soul will in fact yield benefits. One of the benefits for me was how I was able to handle the transition of sexual self realization and coming out and moving forward to total self acceptance of who I am and reveling in it. Perhaps part of my spiritual journey was preparing me for that, perhaps my spiritual journey was a sub conscious way of me searching for my own wholeness that I could not bring myself to outwardly acknowledge - until I was 50! In any event I credit my faith as helping me and all the wonderful people who have come into my life, not the least of which is my husband, have been gifts from God. A reward for my earnest search? my pure heart?

       That was probably the longest intro to such a simple notion, faith the size of a mustard seed. A small seed indeed but packed with the power of the universe.  I have no allusions that my faith is even the size of a mustard seed. But when I know that my faith is a gift from God that led me through the internal torment and challenge of coming out, I know that faith is obviously capable of mediating enormous love and action on behalf of God.

        To illustrate your personal faith, I have used the following simple test.  I ask you what your name is. Invariably there is no hesitation. In a milli-second, a name is verbalized whether it is John, Mary, or Fred. The fact is you KNOW what your name is. If I ask you as another question though, the answer is not always so prompt. The answer may be riddled with hesitation, guilt, reservation or qualification. Hesitation, guilt, reservation and qualifications should not even enter into the answer. The question is this, Does God love you? The answer is unquestionably YES! YES! YES! No hesitation. When you know the answer is yes as quickly and unwaveringly as the answer to what is your name, I think you are really onto some truth, a faith that is a good and wholesome thing.

        God loves us, each one of us, as I say, with reckless abandon. God created each one of us and imparts a unique and lovable soul and personality that we must acknowledge in it's entirety even if that is a lifelong journey which I assure you it is.

        Start by KNOWING that God loves you. Cherish it. Hold it. Embrace it.

        

John 12:24-26

       Life from death

       Unless a grain of wheat falls and dies, it cannot bear much fruit. The cycle of life is such that we know death precedes life. Life is constantly changing. From the time we 'die' to kindergarten to attend grade school; watch the leaves on the trees die in autumn to yield a new crop in the spring; to having to experience our lives change at the actual death of someone we love. All require a death and new beginnings, wanted or unwanted.

         In many cases the death that occurs is required in order for the growth to occur.  That is not to say it's easy. Change never seems easy but it is a requirement of life. The butterfly struggles to emerge from its' cocoon but the struggle from moth to butterfly is extraordinarily beautiful.

         In coming to terms in your own life with being gay, the struggle is no less difficult. No matter what the personal situation, it often involves dying to deceit and lies about who we are. We have to move from darkness into the light, from the darkness of the closet to the light of self awareness. It is quite appropriate that the symbol of acknowledging who you are, in saying I am gay, a beautiful and special creation of our God; the symbol is a rainbow flag not unlike the beauty of a butterfly. 

         The theme of death to life is the story of Jesus's death and rising, to our own death and promise of rising to new life with him in eternity. First we must flourish as who we are, to be the best of what God created us to be.  That is true no matter who we are or even what we are in God's glorious creation.

          Be not afraid little grain of wheat. Die to yourself and become the beautiful creation God wants us to be.

Matthew 16:13-20

        Jesus who ?

        In this reading from Matthew, Jesus is recognized by Peter as The Christ. This is no small title, it is quite literally a title of biblical proportions, it is whom the Jews have been waiting for since their recorded history.

         Had any one of us been there, I wonder what our answer to Jesus' question would have been, 'Who do men say that I am?' 

        I suppose it does not matter what we would have said. However, the question I would pose right now is who do you say Jesus is?  Certainly a historical figure. God? Human? God-man? And what does Jesus represent to each one of us. There are times in my life where Jesus has a comfort beyond measure, somewhat of a therapist even. At times in my youth, I might have even been in love with Jesus, or perhaps a vision of Jesus.  Certainly Jesus is a friend.  My personal savior. My guide. My teacher and countless other titles that vary by situation as well as my age, maturity and life position.

         Jesus is all things and He can be all things to us. There would be no us, no me, without Him.  Perhaps it would be a good exercise to sit and meditate on who Jesus is to us.  He was there when the decision was made that what the world needed, to fulfill God master plan of love, is YOU.

          Who is Jesus to you ? 

Matthew 15:21-28

          If I only had a brain...

      In todays reading from Matthew, Jesus says "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." Yet, in responding to reasoning and the pleadings of a faithful Gentile woman, he responds favorably and heals her daughter.

       I bristle every time I hear a conservative evangelical or muslim radical expound on how they know the way of truth and God's will. They often quote  select sentences or words of holy scripture from the Bible or the Qur'an. It amazes me how ignorant they sound and the words coming out of their mouths sounds false and un-enlightened. I find this true of their words on many subjects, from the role of woman, archaic laws, blaming natural disasters on 'God's will' and of course, closest to my heart, that Gays are 'an abomb-nation!' 

      If these so called holy people used the brain God gave them instead of burying their heads in tradition and mean spirited translations, they would find strong need to apologize and repent. I suspect that they will in fact be the one's going to hell in a hand basket. Of course that's not my call.

      The gist of this meditation / rant is that our intellect is a gift from God just as much as holy scripture is. I believe God wants us to use our brains. We should not stagnate in an evolving and vibrant world. Otherwise, we'd believe we lived on a round disc with a dome over us with no reference to the universe as we know it. We'd believe incest, slavery, having multiple spouses, concubines and even terrorism is just fine and dandy because they all can be found in holy scripture - Christian scripture!

      I thinks this may sum it up best. When the Dalai Lama was asked what the main method of fostering inner awareness was, he replied, "introspection and reasoning is more efficient for this purpose than meditation and prayer." Not that prayer and meditation are not important, of course they are very important, but there is import to us using the brains and intellect God gave us as well.

       God gave us the world that we must care for, it leads us to Him. God gave us many sacred texts as well as intellect, use the intellect, it will lead us to Him also.

Matthew 14:22-33

      Like a bridge over troubled water

     Wind tossed seas, a rocking boat filled with worried men. A man walking on water who calms their fears and the seas. 

     According to the scripture reading, the apostles were not far from shore but they were buffeted and fearful. Jesus is walking on top of the water, on top of the stormy seas. How true then that with Him, we rise above any torment in our lives, any troubles seas, any doubts and fears. 

      When Peter walked on water it was his fear and doubt that made him falter and the Lord grasped him, holding him in safety.

      We can be in stormy seas ourselves or simply have a raging storm around us. We may fear our own demise as the logical end to the torment, whatever it is.   This brings to mind the current campaign, It Get's Better. We say that to anchor those who are in the midst of the storms in their own lives, the torment and fear of the unknown. We have contemporary support for those in need but we also have support in our timeless, all knowing and all loving Savior.   If we believe in the love of our Savior, if we believe that God made us unique and special and wants us to be happy then THAT is what we should be putting our faith and trust in, even more than any contemporary add campaign, no matter how beneficial and good that campaign or program is.

    Trust in the Lord and He will be your bridge over troubled water. 

Mark 9:2-10

      The Brilliance within

     In this scripture reading "Jesus was transfigured before them". The reaction of the apostles was to make something lasting, build a structure for  Moses, Elijah and for Jesus. That is often our reaction to big events, to show how much we love someone or to memorialize something. I am not going to say there is some necessarily wrong with that. It seems to be something hard wired in us. If you look back in history, there are stunning examples of this concept, the Taj Mahal, The Pyramides. In our own time, roadside shrines abound. Washington DC is afloat with monuments of all kinds.

       The real story though is the brilliance that Jesus was transformed into. Actually, I think it's possible that the brilliance was always there, it was that the Apostles were able to catch a glimpse of the brilliance of Jesus and the glory that is his.

      We each have that brilliance within us. God created us that way.  We try to remind ourselves of that I think when we choose white for so many of life's spiritual and special occasions. The Catholic Church calls it "putting on Christ", wearing white for Baptisms, first Communions and Weddings. And let me add, white at weddings is not for purity (sexually) but for the pureness of our souls and our love.

     What we each could use are not ex-ray glasses, ( as interesting as the concept sounds ) but special glasses that will allow us to see the goodness and Godliness in everyone. We all have it. We don't really need glasses though, we can train ourselves, we can change our perspective and we will be able to see the brilliance of the configuration in everyone. Some hide it better than others, but it's there.

     Can you see the brilliance in yourself?

John 6:24-35 

     Bread Alone   

     

   Do not labor for the food which perishes

   I love cosmic coincidences, however small. I am sitting in the Catskill mountains this morning oh so close to one of my all time favorite bread establishments called Bread Alone. Some of the best bread I have ever tasted and that takes in many places, including Paris. Bread is one of my favorite things.

   However, that is not really what the reading are about. It's about things that sustain us, that nourish us and how we seek them out. To Americans that message may be somewhat lost since food here is quite bountiful. Yet food is what sustains us in the barest meaning of the word.

   Growing up on Long Island, I see a different meaning to what sustains us, what we seem to strive for to sustain us and make us whole, both as a society and as individuals. One the one hand there is the 'keeping up with Jones' syndrome that seems be almost perfected ad nauseum.  On the other hand , as individuals, we have a marked propensity to obtain things that will make us happy. At least, we think they will make us happy. We think they will make us whole. This might be good for the economy but it is actually very dangerous for us as humans. We are gifted with time that is much better spent than attaining 'things'. Consciously or un-consciously it comes down to 'if I had this or that, then i will be happy. Eventually, you may realize that all of those things do not in fact make you happy.  Many a middle aged man finds himself in crisis when he realized finally that the things do not makethem whole and sadly, they still do not know what it is so they change thier lives wholesale style in hopes for that not so elusive answer.

   The answer is to seek wholeness of oneself and in the love and acknowledgment of God's never ending and abundant love. THAT is what brings true happiness. Things are distractions to our goal. I know it is difficult because we really do need some things to survive. We may have an innate knowledge that we are created good and decent and worthy so we always strive for the best of things. But I repeat, that is not what really makes us happy.

   

      

      

Psalm 69:14-16, 29-33

     The Empath

      When I was coming out, that is, when I began to realize I might be gay, I was horribly conflicted. I already had been going to a spiritual director for years but a good friend ( who since has become my husband ) strongly suggested that what I really needed was a therapist. I was quite blessed in finding the therapist that was perfect for me. None the less I was in horrible shape. I didn't know which way to turn. It seemed that no matter what I did, no matter what choice I made, it would be devastating to me and everyone involved. I felt I had no options. It was during this time that I began to gain an appreciation of why someone might commit suicide. While I know that this is NEVER a viable option, I understand why one might think it is when every option seems as terrifying as the next.

     It is in this light that I read this scripture reading from the Psalms. I can only encourage anyone coming out, who might be tormented by the prospect, tormented by bullies or is trying to reconcile their 'religion'  with the God who would love to acknowledge His gay son, PLEASE read this psalm and find comfort in it. It speaks volumes. 

   Listen to the psalm, listen to the God that loves you.

       

Mt. 13:54-58
     Breaking free

"A prophet is not without honor except in his native place

and in his own house."

     Sometimes you just need to break free. The usual surroundings are a hinderance, not conducive to fresh thought, you can't escape what every one else expects you to be or expects of you to do

    It's so true. We all act differently in one place vs. another. At home we acted one way, out with the guys, another way, whether we were 14 or 24 or 34. We feel freer perhaps, looser, when we are out of our usual surroundings. Our speech, our thoughts, our prophesies are not quite as welcome at home as they are in almost any other place.  It's true for us as it was (is?) for the prophets, as it was for Jesus.

      So we need to escape, some fresh surroundings.  Perhaps what comes to mind is a weekend on Fire Island or clubbing in the city. What I'm taking about is quiet time. Time away, biking on lonely winery roads? Hiking on a secluded mountain? The serenity of a quiet chapel somewhere? A local labyrinth perhaps. Maybe just driving to the local beach and sitting by yourself watching the waves.

   The trick is to escape where you can hear yourself, your real self, think without distractions from the usual, the ordinary, the noises that fill our life and our heads. It will also allow you to hear things you may have never heard before.  Your own thoughts? God's voice saying "I love  you, I'd love to chat. What's on your mind?"

     For me this is a spiritual exercise, a joy, a treat, a retreat. 

Jeremah 18:1-6
     The Potters House


     "Whenever the object of clay which he was making turned out badly in his hand,

he tried again, making of the clay another object of whatever sort he pleased."

    I loved the use of the Potter as reference to God. God is the potter, we are the clay.  The trick is to remain maleable and workable as a human so we can learn and be transformed into the beautiful creation God intends us to be. We are alive when we maintain the ability to learn, to be transformed and  grow. So often we run across people who are 'alive' at 60 but whose mind has ceased to process life and the ability to change years before.  They are typically referred to as an old codger if you're being nice.

     On one of many bike rides, I came across a small country church with a seven petal labyrinth. As I walked I noticed that some of the path had been created out of shards of broken clay pots. What a profound walk I had as I processed and prayed about how I might be the broken pot. How do we all run the risk of become broken and  shattered when we do not remain the moldable clay that allows us to be transformed. In the reading (and in life) the potter can completely change the object if he makes a mistake. This ability to change and be molded by God is what allows us to handle any variety of lifes challenges. We must however remain moldable, not stiff and unbending like a dried clay pot. At best the clay pot will remain a pot forever and at worst will be so only until it is shattered by some life event.


     One of life's joys is to see what we will be formed into by the Potter.

Matthew 13:44-46

     Heavenly treasure

     As a gay person,  the parable of "The heavenly treasure and the pearl of great price" takes on special meaning.  What a treasure it is to know who you are, to find oneself and what price does a gay person pay for such treasure?


      For more reasons than I'd care to delve into but mostly ignorance and fear, the world has judged being gay as  sin. It is perceived as immoral and a deviant 'lifestyle'.  While this is not universally true in all societies, a gay person intentionally or subconsciously, learns to hide who they are. Gays in general and I myself for sure, have used every psychological trick in the book to deny, supress, divert suspicion, bifurcate the lives and personalities all in an attempt to hide who they are - even to themselves.


     When one looks at the world and sees the diversity of creation that God has created, homosexuality is part of that world. While it is not the norm for all, it is the norm for some. Some say as much as ten percent of humanity ( and that number is not open to 'converts' ).  If we can put aside actual immoral living which I characterize as disrespecting yourself and others by fleeting and meaningless sexual encounters, any gay person can live and I believe is intended to live a long happy life of committed love. As a note, when one does think of an immoral lifestyle, it is more a characteristic of heterosexuals than gays and perpetuated more by them as well. Prostitution, sex clubs, 'meatlocker' bars, one night stands and divorce all began in the realm of hetersexual 'love'. One could argue that heterosexuality is the more deviant 'lifestyle'. However that would be confusing physical acts and immoral actions with what a person is, who they are attracted to and to whom they wish to live a life of just love.


       It is clear to me that my sexuality is a gift from God. How I choose to live is what will elevate me or condemn me, but the fact that I am gay is a gift as it is a gift for so many. Again, perhaps ten percent of the population. Imagine the joy then at coming to the realization that you are gay  and that God loves you. Wow, powerful stuff. A treasure and a pearl of great value.


    But realize the value and the price that is paid. All the denials. Secret lives. Lies to loved ones and self. And because being gay is looked down upon by so many, the price of coming out or acknowledging who you are is a huge question mark. Will I lose my family? my friends? my God? These concerns are so huge and manifest it sometimes causes a person to end their own life.


    I thank God for the growing awareness and knowledge that being gay is not a sin, it is not a lifestyle. Lifestye is a choice for everyone, straight or gay to make. Being gay is a gift of God's creation.  Surely then, when you pay the price to come out, when you pay the price and gain the courage to ackowledge who you really are - you have the greatest gift of all. You have self awareness and hopefully know that God loves you and created you this way. Embrace it and rejoice in it. This joy, this pride, this celebration can be seen manifest in a gay pride parade and in te gay community at large. 


    Out and proud because we have been given a great treasure, a pearl fo great value and God loves us !