Luke 1:39-56

        Mother Mary come to me..

       When I was quite a bit younger, a teenager perhaps, I had a strong attraction to Mary, Jesus' mother. I was struck by her willingness to accept God's will, His  plan, knowing that she would be subjecting herself to almost certain (in those days) condemnation and likely would be stoned to death for adultery. After all, she had not 'been with' Joseph. I was struck by this and  looked at my life with this prism:  was I willing to stand up for Christ, say it loud, follow his designs for me?

     I would say I am ashamed of myself had I a full awareness of what God wanted me to be. I sought out spirituality as the goal. I sought God's word. I tried to emulate the life of Jesus as best I could in all that I did and was.  Again, as if this is what God wanted me to be. That may be how God wanted me to act but in fact, God wanted me to be, well......ME!  My journey to wholeness that focused on following His word as the final answer was actually a diversion of sorts, perhaps to the truer answer.  Now, with some additional prayer and meditation, I still see the strong similarity of my life and the example Mary set.

     To be willing to stand up and say something that will not be well received even if you know it is true. Our heroes in life are often one's who have done just that, Parks, Mandela.  I have several heroes that I look up to as shining examples. Now I can include myself.

       The strength needed to 'come out' of my personal cocoon and say I am gay and THAT is what God wants me to be because that is what he made me and live a holy life as such, no less than anyone else.