Saturday, February 29, 2020

Kneeling at the Rail.

       All jokes aside about gay men or good Catholics on their knees, I am not so good at it these days.  Gravity of course helps but it is the getting up from that communion rail that is a bit slower and more cautious these days. A knee brace certainly helps. If I had been ordained today and not years ago, I would still be laying on the Cathedral floor, I'd need something nearby as leverage to get up off that marble floor.  One of the things about God and church. . . .and Lent, is that it is a common journey. Of course we all have a different journey but it is a commonality that we all share.

           While we each muster our our strength for our own cocoon , challenges, growth and tasks, even simply getting up from the Communion rail, Christianity is all about others, community and acknowledging that God loves the 'other' at least as much as God loves me. So when we worship in any form, at the rail, in the pew, in the fields or on a mountaintop, it is not just about me, me, me! We are all connected and to grasp our faith, whatever faith that is, we must know we are all brothers and sisters.

         I intentionally mentioned worship on the mountaintop because there are countless instances where I have found God in those 'thin spaces' if you will, outside of a formal Church setting. In hiking in Utah, hammering nails for Habitat, biking in the farm country back roads or sitting on a jetty, I find God is awesome and ever present. Of course you have to open your eyes and listen, that might be a blog for another day, I digress. The point is that with all the problems of formal Religions and the church politic, many people are seeking God in these alternate scenes, those thin spaces that seem to speak loudly to our soul. I am all for that. Lord knows how disillusioned if not angry I have been with the Roman Church of my youth.  But here's the rub, that is a fine excuse at face value to ignore a church or communal worship but it neglects an absolutely huge dimension of our faith that I alluded to above.

         We are not alone. If I seek those thin spaces on my own, I am not participating in a community that needs me and that I so desperately need.  The "I don't need to go to church to be holy" crowd is patent bullshit. It is so much a limited truth as to be almost an outright lie. We need each other. We need to be there for each other as a support. And in case you aren't there yet, know this especially, others need your presence.  Do not ever demean or dismiss the value of your presence in Church. You cannot be replaced by someone else that will be there. That is simply a cop out.

         As much as I find it difficult to get down on my knees to pray, I really need to  simply get my ass into church. While other forms of worship are certainly valid and will connect you to God, this Lent is a special time for all of us and our presence is almost required for the good of the entire community. Even if you do not have a community that you routinely call your own or where you feel welcome, do not dismiss the value of your guest appearance and the gift of who you are to the rest of the congregation, to creation. God does not make junk as they so. Evangelize by your presence.

Friday, February 28, 2020

First Friday of Lent, getting up to speed.

       One of the hallmarks of any Lenten Journey is a devotion to Scripture. Jesus no longer walks this earth, the Scriptures are all we have. While we know that the Scriptures are fraught with agenda driven translations, mistranslations and omissions, we also know that the word of God is there. The message of God's love comes through and there are intentional messages however marred by human hands.

       Yesterday on an LGBTQ Facebook page, someone chose to admonish everyone that the Bible clearly states that God created male and female and no other brands or varieties are noted. It is right there for us to read.  I am certain that is not the truth of the matter. Yes, that is what Genesis says but are we to take that literally?  Isn't the book of Genesis with it's own clear contradictions more of a notation of the truth that God created the world. Genesis puts it down in a way the human mind can grasp it. The truth is a wee bit more complex. To find the real depth of the truth, we must look at our created world, the world that beams and glistens with evidence of God in every nook and cranny. Ancient man could understand only so much. Would they understand the concept of the Big Bang? Muons? Mesons? Quarks? How about cells and molecules?  I think Genesis is just right for a godly generalization. If we look into the world God created, we see that homosexuality is not an aberration but a common feature. There are even creations that exhibit the qualities of both male and female in one!  The world we see is quite telling and diverse. It is no less a valued tool in the witness of God's creation and love.

      Why am I going into such detail to seemingly diminish the value of Scripture?  When Scripture is all we have, we are best to make the best use of it. We are well advised to make sure we understand it flaws, corrections and limitations. I often note the story of the Roman Centurion who sought out Jesus to cure his "pais". We have come to know that word pais as meaning a slave or servant. It isn't necessarily so. An agenda driven translation seems to omit the rather strong possibility that "pais" in the vernacular of the time actually referred to the subordinate same sex lover which was a very common practice of the times.  It doesn't translate to rape victim or pedophile but same sex lovers, partners. Clearly, this "pais" was very much loved by his partner or else the Centurion would not be seeking out this itinerant Jewish preacher to cure his sick 'buddy'.  I mention this so you can see how translations matter, how agendas matter, how context matters. Biblical scholarship is not a subject to be taken lightly.

          One of the first things that strikes me for this Lent is my attentiveness to how I read and learn about the passages I am reading. There are trusted sources and translations which we should all have and be comfortable with. Personally, I think the kings english is probably a translation considerably far from the truth or at least fraught with numerous translational and agenda driven errors.

          How can we trust what we are reading?! Is the world upside down? How are we to read Scripture and know what the truth is?  I have a reference library at my disposal. Trusted sources and translations in many different books and references.  I am not going to trust Fox News to give me a revealing truth about a passage that is certain.  If I google something I am not going with a source whose agenda promotes hate or ignorance. Is that redundant? 

        This Lent, as I am reading passages, I want to realize for myself that "I" am not the unerring word of God. "I" am not the ultimate reference source and do not have the final word.

         The Bible is set of books unto itself that speaks to us. We must read it carefully for sure. Scripture speaks to us at different points in our life, the Spirit revealing a different message from the same passage at another point in our life.  The Spirit is sort of funny that way.  In this way not only is translation important but we must never forget that the word of God and the Spirit are still very much alive.

           Do we still think that the Bible condones slavery? Has the Spirit helped us see that such practices are contrary to God's love of all Her creation?  Here's another one for you, do you realize that the life of the Apostles and the church ( Acts ) was more like a commune. Super right "Christians" rail against Socialism but the early church lived more like a commune, everything held for the common good ( Acts 2:44 ) What do our Christian values and the Spirit say to us about our wealth and the need of our brothers and sisters?  

         Read carefully. Read slowly. Meditate on the words and their meanings and what the Spirit is telling us, calling us to do and how to live.  I pray that I will seek out as much information as I can and not be as certain or self righteous about the meaning of words written down by man even when it is done so in the name of God.

         For our Lenten journey and the Word of God, I pray.

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Embarking and returning at the same time

         In my journey towards closeness with God and the fulness of my humanity, one of the first things that I feel called to do is to reflect. I am not rushing out the door of my Lenten journey driving to an unknown destination at breakneck speed. Let me assess as I begin. Let me take stock of where I am and who I am. I am a sinner. Without comparison or judgment to one extreme or another, I am indeed a sinner.

        As a sinner, I cannot help but take the story of the prodigal son to heart.  As  I read with intent the entire story, I can see just how much God has invested in me. The 'long distance' glimpse, the love, forgiveness, the robe, the ring, the killing of the fatted calf and the celebrations should I simply choose to return.

         Any journey should really be well planned for. For Lent, some honest down time is essential. So is some honest self reflection. Such honest if not brutally honest self reflection should always be accompanied by the comfort that God is there with his/her arm around you. You are not alone. You are loved and cherished.

          Now is the time to return home to God. You are welcomed cherished, loved and celebrated.

           

Ash Wednesday prep.

       This Lenten season our faith community is reading Living The Way of Love  ( Mary Bea Sullivan ).  It is a 40 day devotional based on the Jesus inspired practices set forth by the Presiding ( Episcopal ) Bishop,  Michael Curry.

       In our preparatory meeting before Ash Wednesday our Pastor asked "Where do you want to be on Easter Sunday?"  This raised the memory of another few pastors from years gone by. One charged us with using Lent to become fully human. The goal he set forth was to engage all that God made us to be as a unique and intended being.  Could we cooperate with God's plan in creating us, fully human, fully alive? Still another preacher I will always remember spoke on Easter Sunday with an analogy of Lent having us all in cocoons and on Easter Sunday we emerge as magnificent butterflies, the intentful and joyous creations God made each of us to be.  But where do I want to be on Easter Sunday morning and how will these 7 Biblical practices help me?  Which ones speak to me in joy and which, if any, represent a stumbling block or a challenge if you will. An intriguing aspect of any journey where the destination is not known is a certain amount of fear. Am I willing to listen and respond to what God is asking of me? Will the transformation from cozy cocoon to butterfly paralyze me? Am I so comfortable now that I will not take the leap of faith or exercise the will needed to change and grow?

       What I want to be is a more fully alive and activated person in relation to my Creator. Beyond that, God only knows. I do know that the crux of the situation involves all that I have already learned, setting aside time each day specifically listening and some form of practice or prayer.

        One of the gifts I have been graced with is writing and so that can play a role. Another is my the use of the labyrinth which calls to me in a special way. 

       One thing I am reminded of in this planned journey into the unknown of God's all embracing love. At the time I was coming to terms with the fact that I am gay, I sought many avenues of assistance. Spiritual direction, therapy and of course prayer. Part of my prayer as I said, has been 'walking the labyrinth'.  The labyrinth closest to to me was one built at an Episcopal Franciscan Friary. Quite appropriately the paths were made of wood chips, bark and flotsam and jetsam. As I walked one particularly lonely evening contemplating the diverging paths of my life, both of which seemed impossible, I came across a shred of twine in the path. It was a short piece of string tied into a loop just the right size to be an adornment for a finger. I was magically whisked away to my friend Rita who had told the joke a long time ago about piece of rope that walked into a bar. The bar tender said "we don't serve rope here" whereupon the rope walked out.  Of course that piece of rope was now just a bit angry. He got himself into a terrible knot and his ends were now loose and in disarray. The rope walks back into the bar where the bar tender says, "I told you, we don't serve rope here". The Rope responds "frayed knot!"  Ok, so Rita and I should not give up our day jobs but that little joke that was summoned into by brain as I walked the labyrinth in time of need reminded me of an important thing about life with God, coming out of the closet or walking the journey of Lent. Do not be afraid. ( 'frayed? NOT! )  I may not know the end of journey for this Lent. The caterpillar has no idea that it will be a butterfly. What I do know is that this Lent I will be attentive to the journey and I will strive to respond to God's call without fear and with complete openness to whatever form of butterfly God intends for me.

      Happy Ash Wednesday.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Gay Pride Sunday

       It is my habit to arrive early for Sunday Mass and try to place myself in a proper mindset. One of things that I have found illuminating and a proper focus is the stained glass above the alter. It is a glorious Risen Christ portrait. The building itself is situated such that the moring light through this stained glass is breathtakingly beautiful. It has become a focal point for me every time I sit in the pew. Another part of my ritual is going through all the readings for the upcoming service. In this way I do not have to read along as the words are proclaimed by the lector.  I hope that I can then get a feel for the Spirit proclaiming those words through the person reading them.

         As I sat this part Sunday and read the Gospel in my silence I was struck yet again by the stained glass shining down on me. The stained glass colors are as bright as any pride flag, brighter than anything we ourselves can make. It is that synergy of meds or Vulcan philosophy where the sum of our parts is greater than any simple math could provide. Whomever created the image could take pride in a work that I feel transcends the mere selection of glass, the cutting and placing to create the image I see.

         The Gospel message from Matthew here today made me think also on Gay pride. Perhaps by exception, I feel challenged and hurt by those errant individuals who say that being prideful about being gay is wrong. And yet, I have a different experience, I hold a different and important truth that transcends being gay.

         It is not a human boast to revel in the gift of who we are as created by God. Let us not boast of anything of human design, judgement or designation but in the created beauty imbued in each of us for the glory of Her name.

           Just as the beauty of my stained glass muse is beautiful in its own right but elevated by God in its vision, message and meaning, so to the beauty of being gay is not an action but a celebration of a unique person and the capabilities, challenges and essence of the person. By accepting oneself, gay or otherwise, and the unique gifts and talents so imbued, we take pride in the fact that God made us this way and wishes us to live out Her plan for creation by honoring who we are. It is not a pride in a human accomlishent of our own but  pride in a cooperation  of a plan of divesity and beauty, as beautiful as the most beautiful and radiant stained glass.

       I pray today as always, that we accept the gifts that God has created in us and as a unique individual. We are a peice of cut crystal for the most beautiful of stained glass to help give a total vision of Gods love and light.  Take pride in whom God created you to be.Without you the picture of Gods love is no complete, nor as glorious as She intends.

Matthew 5:13-20


‘You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.