This Lenten season our faith community is reading Living The Way of Love ( Mary Bea Sullivan ). It is a 40 day devotional based on the Jesus inspired practices set forth by the Presiding ( Episcopal ) Bishop, Michael Curry.
In our preparatory meeting before Ash Wednesday our Pastor asked "Where do you want to be on Easter Sunday?" This raised the memory of another few pastors from years gone by. One charged us with using Lent to become fully human. The goal he set forth was to engage all that God made us to be as a unique and intended being. Could we cooperate with God's plan in creating us, fully human, fully alive? Still another preacher I will always remember spoke on Easter Sunday with an analogy of Lent having us all in cocoons and on Easter Sunday we emerge as magnificent butterflies, the intentful and joyous creations God made each of us to be. But where do I want to be on Easter Sunday morning and how will these 7 Biblical practices help me? Which ones speak to me in joy and which, if any, represent a stumbling block or a challenge if you will. An intriguing aspect of any journey where the destination is not known is a certain amount of fear. Am I willing to listen and respond to what God is asking of me? Will the transformation from cozy cocoon to butterfly paralyze me? Am I so comfortable now that I will not take the leap of faith or exercise the will needed to change and grow?
What I want to be is a more fully alive and activated person in relation to my Creator. Beyond that, God only knows. I do know that the crux of the situation involves all that I have already learned, setting aside time each day specifically listening and some form of practice or prayer.
One of the gifts I have been graced with is writing and so that can play a role. Another is my the use of the labyrinth which calls to me in a special way.
One thing I am reminded of in this planned journey into the unknown of God's all embracing love. At the time I was coming to terms with the fact that I am gay, I sought many avenues of assistance. Spiritual direction, therapy and of course prayer. Part of my prayer as I said, has been 'walking the labyrinth'. The labyrinth closest to to me was one built at an Episcopal Franciscan Friary. Quite appropriately the paths were made of wood chips, bark and flotsam and jetsam. As I walked one particularly lonely evening contemplating the diverging paths of my life, both of which seemed impossible, I came across a shred of twine in the path. It was a short piece of string tied into a loop just the right size to be an adornment for a finger. I was magically whisked away to my friend Rita who had told the joke a long time ago about piece of rope that walked into a bar. The bar tender said "we don't serve rope here" whereupon the rope walked out. Of course that piece of rope was now just a bit angry. He got himself into a terrible knot and his ends were now loose and in disarray. The rope walks back into the bar where the bar tender says, "I told you, we don't serve rope here". The Rope responds "frayed knot!" Ok, so Rita and I should not give up our day jobs but that little joke that was summoned into by brain as I walked the labyrinth in time of need reminded me of an important thing about life with God, coming out of the closet or walking the journey of Lent. Do not be afraid. ( 'frayed? NOT! ) I may not know the end of journey for this Lent. The caterpillar has no idea that it will be a butterfly. What I do know is that this Lent I will be attentive to the journey and I will strive to respond to God's call without fear and with complete openness to whatever form of butterfly God intends for me.
Happy Ash Wednesday.
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