Prune away

John 15:1-11

          Ah the humble honey bee. Going from flower to flower doing his thing as God intended and giving us such beautiful flowers and honey. As the joke goes, why did the bee buzz? You'd buzz too if someone stole your honey and 'nectar'. I know don't give up your day job. But the humble bumble bee is cooperating with God's plan and doing what God intended him to do.  I enjoy immensely some of our local honey and wonder what social sin has society committed in causing the wholesale death of bee colonies that the news has reported these last few years.

            I like to look at what the bee does as a kind of pruning. An action (on the bees part) that produces fertile growth. God prunes us, if we are willing, in countless ways. But we must be willing. Just like the metaphor of God being the potter and we the clay, you must be willing to be molded. And so you must be willing to be pruned or pollinated. In each example there is an action and a reaction, a law of physics that God created and works by.

             I suppose the inherent problem with all this is our willingness to be pollinated, molded or pruned. You can see the beauty that comes in flowers. You can see the beauty that results from a potter par excellence. And you can see what beauty can develop in a plant in growth and fruit when you look at a bonsai tree or set your gaze on an orchard of apples , peaches or pears. The 'fruit' of pruning is delicious and sustaining.

               Are you willing to be pruned?  Yesterday, I attended a day long seminar for my job. I learned a great deal. I was 'pruned' a little, a gentle manipulation of my brain so I could learn new things and grow. I submitted myself to this endeavor, I knew what who and what was taking place.  There are however 'pruners' out there, perhaps not unlike a bee buzzing about, that act on God's behalf and help prune us all day long, all our lives. Again, if we are willing. We must be open to the process. God's hand is everywhere so every encounter with a person, every situation in life because a gift and offers the opportunity of growth (of being 'pruned') by an agent of God, maybe even an angel.

            Sometimes I just want to get through the day and get home to my husband and adorable cat. In rushing to do this I am likely missing out on  great deal that I am experiencing or can experience all day long. It is possible I am not present to what is going on focusing more on the future, however enjoyable. By living too much in the future, I am denying God's opportunity to prune me in the present.

             Faith in God requires a submission to be pruned. That happens 24/7/365. It happens in faith and in love in every transaction and interaction of the day, with friends and strangers alike. But we must be present and we must be willing. Perhaps it is not an easy thing to do to submit yourself to such a task not knowing entirely where it will lead you. I'd suggest looking around and seeing the hand of God and trust that in the  things that He created, the beauty and majesty of what will be created in you will be at least as beautiful as that.
 
            So I say, prune me baby! Prune me my most wonderful and loving God.

‘I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine-grower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers; such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.

Pure light, pure honesty

1 John 1:5-2:2

            How honest are you in your confessions? I'm not speaking necessarily to Catholics here, how honest are you in confessions to yourself and to God? As this passage states God is light and in him there is no darkness at all. God knows all and sees all. There is no hiding needed if indeed possible with himself. Pure light can hide nothing, it's purity so defined by the essence of his existence.

But what of you and I?

         St. Ignatius has among other things created the art or practice of the examen. I would leave it to you to google it or looked it up on Wiki but I do think it is a great practice. I believe more honest self examination is a bold and faithful thing to do. We certainly don't have the pure light that God has but we are made in his likeness and image so great things are possible for us. Honesty with ourselves could be an incredible gift to God, the world or to a relationship? Is that redundant?

         What I can't help but think about is how the world seems stacked against us a times. The world does not hold honesty as a model. Our thoughts and desires are heavily influenced by the media and life around us. Even churches lie if it will stave off  scandal. One asks which is worse, the lies or the scandal but this only serves to point a finger away from ourselves. Are we complicit by our own lies? 

      Vatican II with it's opening of windows and fresh air, Glasnost and all manner of revival and even 

malicious revelation can shed light and life. Our goal perhaps should be practicing fervent honesty with ourselves. Brutally honest self introspection can only serve to be a benefit and be an example to the world and fully appreciated and imitative of the nature of God.

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true; but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and he is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.

Do you like what you do and who you are? Appreciating yourself and others.

Ephesians 4:7-8,11-16

          When I think of this passage I often start to think about the different roles we play. I begin to think of work and all the jobs that need to be done for us to complete our daily tasks for the patients. There are doctors and nurses, pharmacists and clerks, housekeepers and office staff. We all work together to make the patients visit with us safe, productive and efficient. In fact, our focus is so collaborative that we have been noted for many years as the best in the nation for our type of facility by independent monitors. I like the word collaborative. We work as a team. Each person is respected, each person's contribution to the whole is realized and appreciated, every single job.  I ma not sure everyone likes their job like I do but the jobs they do are top notch.  I am actually proud to work in such a place.

            This kind of interpretation of scripture seems easy. We all have different talents and gifts.  It isn't until I start speaking in terms of very personal 'talents' that I start to get in some hot water.  I can see such diversity in God's creation. It's all there for the seeing. Jesus would say  'for those that have ears hear and for those that have eyes, see...'  Many people who love to see things in neat cubicles in black and white don't see the diversity of God's creation. These people certainly don't appreciate the roles that sexual diveristy has in God's kingdom.

              It is hard to deny the gifts and talents of the gay community. Still there are people who are not comfortable with people using parts in ways 'not intended by God'. Of course they see being gay in only one way, defined by some act that they apparently can't get out of their heads. It's as if we placed a vision in their heads that they can't stop thinking about, like a snippet from a song that run over and over in your head. Being gay though is more than one act of sexual expression or sexual pleasure.  I suppose people are coming around to that notion as they see people like my husband and I who act 'normally', are loving and productive people in society. 

               On Friday evening we participated in a rally for a trans person who had been roughed up by a bouncer at a bar. I may have mentioned it in a blog entry. It points to another part of God's diverse creation but yet another group that people seem uncomfortable with. Yet they are who they are, created by God and on their own journey to wholeness. They wish to be productive and loving as the rest of us do.  Why do we have such trouble accepting everyone in God's created world?  Why can't we accept what they have to offer and who they are?  If ever there was a group called to a difficult road in life and who seem misunderstood, disrespected and marginalized, it is the trans community. Yet God loves them at least as much as God loves anyone else.

             I could go on with more examples but the real question is can we respect the diversity of God's creation? Do we appreciate ourselves and each other?  Can you be the best gay man there is, revel in it, appreciate it and use it as a tool for your own salvation and love? Big tasks for sure, appreciating yourself and others.

But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it is said,
‘When he ascended on high he made captivity itself a captive;
   he gave gifts to his people.’ The gifts he gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ. We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knitted together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.

Lord help our disbelief.

John 20:19-31

          In this passage today we get to the root of the expression "doubting Thomas".  The, I won't believe it until I see it syndrome.  Whether for good or bad, we are often surprised but things that happen.  We are elated when we hear a story in the news that someone returned a lost wallet with the money still inside, heart warmed at how a beloved pet woke the family so they could escape a fire or lead a family member to safety through a fire. Sadly, perhaps we are less surprised when something incredibly bad happens that just boggles our minds. Some acts seem beyond our comprehension.

           Today, Thomas is showing his doubt. Thomas wants some proof.  I think we are all like that at times. The thing that I notice is that Jesus does not say, 'ye of little faith, you are cast out, no longer my disciple'. Jesus is loving and understanding as a he always was (and still is).

           Given that hope and seeing the apparent huge 'fail' of Thomas, what can we derive from this? One important note is that Gd loves us even in our doubts and even in our anger. God is acutely aware of our humanity since, you know, he's the one that created us! 

          When I was in seminary we were in the midst of a discussion on the Trinity and how we have come to embrace different aspects of God at different times in our life. I still recall someone noting their difficulty with concept of God the (loving) Father.  They had always had a problem embracing that concept because their own father was abusive, an alcoholic and beat family members in turn without regard and with no apparent preferences. He had been an equal opportunity abuser.  I also recall the time a women I spoke to pastoraly who could not embrace the concept of God the Father because she had been molested by her own father. This is all pretty heady and horrible stuff but I note it to point out some of the myriad reasons we may have doubt or difficulty connecting to God and to others. Our doubts are often shaped by our experiences. Thomas seemed to be the biggest doubter of all in the face of all the others disciples telling him what happened. 

          As  a gay man I know that I harbour some anger perhaps at the church in which I was raised.  Hypocrisy, beleiving I am "intrinsically disordered" and seeing the enormous amount of human failure within the hierarchy of the church tends to make me have less sympathy for the church. I know many others in the gay community who have simply written off the church and even more sad is writing off God altogether.  I see their reasons and I am sure God understands and appreciates them.

          Thomas was still loved and embraced, welcomed and appreciated.  And so are you, all of us. Lord, help us in our disbelief. Help us as we struggle in doubt, in anger, in our limited capacity to understand. The one thing I do believe is that you love me, you love us and that love will not cease and is not contingent on us being perfect and faithful people.

          Thank you God.

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you."

After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you."

When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit.

If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came.

So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe."

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you."

Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe."

Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!"

Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book.

But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

Comfort zone

Mark 12:18-27

          There's nothing really quite as pleasant sometimes as laying on your couch on a lazy afternoon, perhaps reading a book, the paper or simply counting the clouds as they float by. Comfort. Ahhh! I think we all love being comfortable whatever your vision of it may be. Laying poolside doesn't seem all that bad either. 

          Have you ever had the experience at work or even with friends when you start a task and one person says, 'well, at such and such place, we do it this way' or better yet, "We don't do it that way".  We do love our comfort. Sometimes it seems we'd rather have it wrong or screwed up with the 'devil we know' rather than exercise the effort o change lest we find 'the devil we don't know. We do love our comfort.

        The problem is however, we start to look at things with a tunnel vision and fail to see other possibilities. Not only for ourselves but for the rest of the world. The Sadducee's could only see there limited vision and tried to trap Jesus with a question based on their tunnel vision. I could just see Jesus shaking his head thinking how ignorant they are, how sad they are, or blurting out "you just don't get it do you?"

        Yesterday my husband and I marched with a group protesting how a transgendered person was treated in a popular local tavern.  We chanted "No bias, No violence, No more!" The closest I have ever come to anything resembling transgendered was dressing up as a woman for a Halloween party a long, long time ago.  There was no stigma attached, it was a Halloween party.  But I am quite familiar with feeling like I am being judged. I am quite familiar with people telling me as a gay person 'that I am not using my parts the right way' or the way they feel they should be used. I know in some situations I would be a likely target of violence or discrimination. For the most part I do live a safe, comfy and wonderful life. Great family, friends, perfect husband, adoring super cat and nice diggs. I could easily stay on the couch after getting up at 3 am to blog, working all day alone because my support staff was at home sick and I had a big shipment of supplies that came in. I could have come home and gotten quite comfy.

         The thing is, those Sadducee's were really ignorant, pretentious, perhaps even cocky with Jesus.  I dislike the word hate very much but that's comes pretty close to how I feel about arrogant, self righteous, ignorant people.  My life is pretty easy though so I probably would not run into any on my couch. But what about the children? The more vulnerable ones? My brothers an sisters? 

         Shouldn't I reach beyond my comfort zone to help my brothers and sisters? And even for myself, shouldn't I move beyond what I am comfy with and perhaps don't even totally understand to help my brothers and sisters out of love?

         We all love our comfort but we are not called to take the easy road. That breeds arrogance, laziness and ignorance. Even Jesus asked the Father if this cup could pass him by but Jesus drank fully of the cup. He embraced our humanity in every way, in it's beautiful diverse way and stepped up to the plate.  I think we are called to do the same.

Some Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him and asked him a question, saying, ‘Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies, leaving a wife but no child, the man shall marry the widow and raise up children for his brother. There were seven brothers; the first married and, when he died, left no children; and the second married her and died, leaving no children; and the third likewise; none of the seven left children. Last of all the woman herself died. In the resurrection whose wife will she be? For the seven had married her.’

Jesus said to them, ‘Is not this the reason you are wrong, that you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the dead being raised, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the story about the bush, how God said to him, “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob”? He is God not of the dead, but of the living; you are quite wrong.’

Die and rise daily

1 Corinthians 15:51-58

              Almost twenty years ago I was standing next to my severely ill mother in the hospital. She was facing a relatively simple procedure (famous last words) which she had no interest in having performed. This simple procedure would help solve some of her medical problems, perhaps stabilize the situation. I told her how simple it was and that if she did not have it done she would likely die.  She turned to me and stated quite frankly that she was in fact ready to meet her maker, she was prepared to die.  A very difficult thing to say to anyone but harder still to hear.

           There is always a sting to death especially to those that are left behind dealing with the human emotions of loss of physicality and love in action. I'd like to focus on the sting we feel when we are near death.  We are very acquainted with the concept of someone saying that they are afraid to die. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her ground breaking work On Death and Dying (1969) deals with the stages of dying we all go through to one degree or another. Acceptance and welcoming the transition would be the last stage I am sure. I honestly could not quote her work accurately though after so many years.

            What allows us to welcome death as a normal part of life?  One could argue that faith gives you a leg up on the process. While still having to say good bye to loved ones, you know you will be held in the loving arms of your creator, much like the moment before you were conceived when God decided that what the world needed was you and exactly you. That may not make it all that much easier though, I am sure Jesus' agony in the garden had something to do with his humanity and having to part in a physical, human way, from his friends, disciples, his love and his mother.

           What I would suggest makes it easier is to make dying a normal part of your life.  The transition or growth in life as I posed yesterday is constant dying and constant rebirth.  I have spoken in the past about people that we deem crotchety old forks, people that have died mentally and emotionally in their 40 or 50's a and yet their bodies have lived on for years beyond, out of touch with reality and never adjusting to the world around them. It is said that eduction is a life long process and it is non dissimilar to the concept of constantly dying and rising. Learning new things, dying to old concepts, old ways of doing things and seeing things.  

        As  a gay person who must come to terms with our own sexuality in a world that often finds it troubling and sinful, you must learn to die to your old self and rise to a new life of simply "who you are". You die perhaps to a hidden life, you die to obfuscations and lies, you rise to a life of openness and love. Sometimes that may mean dying to an old family and rising to life in a new one. Perhaps being gay also gives you a leg up on the process this of dying and rising.

             Jesus' life certainly challenged many many people. He was a rebel and a revelutionary. He challenged the status quo and asked us to love our enemies, reach out to the marginalized and open our hearts and minds to all.  If we embrace his life as a concept and further accept the Resurrection in all it's glory, we can easily live our lives dying and rising day after day. In small ways and major ways we can die to ourselves and rise to glory in Christ long before we are called to give our last breath in our human shells when we will meet our maker.

          

Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:
‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.’
‘Where, O death, is your victory?
   Where, O death, is your sting?’
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my beloved, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labour is not in vain. 

Matzoh!

Exodus 13:3-10

           I am capable of making some really good bread. On more than one occasion the loaf is at risk of being eaten immediately along with a stick of butter, slice by warm slice until it is gone. Bread is a bit of a guilty pleasure.  I can hardly imagine going for a whole week eating nothing but unleavened bread. But as Christians this is our common history, it is the faith of Jesus.

            Matzoh has a powerful story to tell though and one we should heed. Sometimes life is too hurried and there is no time to take in the 'bread' of the world. Life can be so very complicated it seems, full of obligations, angst, death and  worry that go along all the joys of living. It is in some of those worst times of life however that God sustains us. We may feel we are just getting along, merely sustaining ourselves (with matzoh) but God is with us the whole while with love and the promise of not only a bright future but eternal life. In that way I think Christians can easily embrace the Jewish custom and mandate that they refrain from leavened bread for a week. Could we use a reminder that our lives feel unleavened at times? That we are merely surviving?

              There is a great deal of matzoh on sale right night in the stores around here, perhaps it might be a good idea to replace some of your favorite bread or snack with a piece or two. What is life life when you are so hurried you don't even have time to make bread. Perhaps not a modern reference but certainly one we can translate into some other modern practice we don't have time for. Don't have time to cook a meal? Don't have time perhaps to set aside for God? Perhaps time for your spouse? A child? Always hurried it seems.  Are you pressed with some darkness that leaves you feel unleavened?

         Eating unleavened bread is a reminder of the promise and the fact God is always with us. God always provides love and support in every occasion, at every time in our life. God is what truly sustains us.

Moses said to the people, ‘Remember this day on which you came out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, because the Lord brought you out from there by strength of hand; no leavened bread shall be eaten. Today, in the month of Abib, you are going out. When the Lord brings you into the land of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, which he swore to your ancestors to give you, a land flowing with milk and honey, you shall keep this observance in this month. For seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, and on the seventh day there shall be a festival to the Lord. Unleavened bread shall be eaten for seven days; no leavened bread shall be seen in your possession, and no leaven shall be seen among you in all your territory. You shall tell your child on that day, “It is because of what the Lord did for me when I came out of Egypt.” It shall serve for you as a sign on your hand and as a reminder on your forehead, so that the teaching of the Lord may be on your lips; for with a strong hand the Lord brought you out of Egypt. You shall keep this ordinance at its proper time from year to year.

dying and rising daily

1 Corinthians 15:29-41

           There is a great of talk about us dying and rising. Perhpas you get the impression that it is only when our bodies die that we are born again into new life with Christ. While I certainly beleive that, I have a broader thought on the subject.

          Lent is a time when we embraced dying to ourselves. But our whole lives are a process of dying and rising. On the simplest scale we could look at something like a new word of the day calendar. Every day we die to a our old self and become slightly better, more educated. That is the simplest. But any way in which we choose to better ourselves and make our relationship with God better is a dying and rising.

           If we really beleive Jesus died for us we can easily find a way to open new vistas to ourselves for new growth and dying. Just something to think about.

Otherwise, what will those people do who receive baptism on behalf of the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, why are people baptized on their behalf?

And why are we putting ourselves in danger every hour? I die every day! That is as certain, brothers and sisters, as my boasting of you—a boast that I make in Christ Jesus our Lord. If with merely human hopes I fought with wild animals at Ephesus, what would I have gained by it? If the dead are not raised,
‘Let us eat and drink,
   for tomorrow we die.’
Do not be deceived:
‘Bad company ruins good morals.’
Come to a sober and right mind, and sin no more; for some people have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame.

But someone will ask, ‘How are the dead raised? With what kind of body do they come?’ Fool! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. And as for what you sow, you do not sow the body that is to be, but a bare seed, perhaps of wheat or of some other grain. But God gives it a body as he has chosen, and to each kind of seed its own body. Not all flesh is alike, but there is one flesh for human beings, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish. There are both heavenly bodies and earthly bodies, but the glory of the heavenly is one thing, and that of the earthly is another. There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; indeed, star differs from star in glory.

Post Easter notes...

        One of the things that I was doing this Lent was to follow a few other gay blogs, Christian and otherwise, for my own spiritual health and growth.  There was no stealing of thoughts as I really am keenly aware that each of us has our own journey to wholeness, our faith journey and each of us has something unique to say based on that and how God speaks through us.

        One of the more interesting sites was the Jesus in Love Blog. In the last week of Lent they highlighted  The Passion of Christ: A Gay Vision with art by Douglas Blanchard and expanded commentary by Kittredge Cherry.  I found this  a wonderful if perhaps a bit self serving in it's writing. None the less it was stimulating, inspiring, provocative and truthful. 

        As a gay Christian I am attuned to the fact that the mere statement "gay Christian" is provocative and blasphemous to some.  Quite sadly, the voice the media often turns to are right wing conservative idiots as they did on an Easter Sunday news cast. The provocateurs, the blasphemy is all on them.  Clearly they are attuned only to a narrow minded 'agenda' which seems quite ironic to my way of thinking.  It seems to me that they clearly miss the true message and meaning of Easter. I say that not in a secular sense. I was almost to boiling over an news report where an Easter bunny was handing out presents at a hospital, admirable unto itself, but to have the newscaster proclaim that 'that' was what Easter was all about seemed idiotic.

          I decided to write this entry today because the essence of Easter, of the love of Christ throughout his life and into his willingness to die for each and every one of us and through to his Resurrection giving us hope and freedom as well as eternal life, is parallelled so well in the lives of the LGBTQ community.  I am currently reading a book Coming Out as Sacrament that highlights many of these points. It will be the focus of our LGBTQ spirituality meeting this week as well. 

         To anyone who reads this, know  how integral your gayness is to your person and to your spirituality. Embrace each fully and explore your spirituality as you would explore the joys of your sexuality. Each are gifts.  In this post Lenten season leading to Pentecost, explore your spirituality  to the full using every means at your disposal. Do not be put off by right wing nut jobs that see your presence as evil or that being gay and spiritual is an oxymoron.  Do not let any religion get in the way of your faith. Your religion should elevate you as God does and help you to be in contact with the divine who seeks a deep meaningful relationship with you.

Royal Terriers

1 Corinthians 15:1-11

         There is a scene from a James Bond film called Goldeneye where the villain calls James Bond 'her Royal Terrier' because 007 is defending Queen and country. The villain may or may not be correct but it belies a situation where some people work tirelessly for the approval of a higher authority, quite often never realizing their own self worth in the process.

        Yesterday was Easter and face book was flush with people with Easter wishes. One person I am acquainted with, who is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, attended multiple services at the church of his youth. This church states that he is "intrinsically disordered". He is not capable of a loving stable relationship and is called (by their supreme estimation) to celibacy.  First off, saying whole groups of people are 'called to celibacy', gay, priests or whatever is highly disrespectful of their humanity as created by God. Not everyone is capable of celibacy. The royal terriers that are called to serve and not called to celibacy often bifurcate their lives in so many ways it is religiously criminal. Be that as it may, that is not the real point here, forgive me.  There are people who when faced with disapproval of any kind, just or unjust, they keep trying harder for that approval.  If authority says jump, they say "how high?"

         In light of the incredible love and mercy showered on us yesterday ( and always ) by Jesus' death and rising,  we must keep in mind our worthiness.  Paul might be considered the least worthy. No only was he a gentile, a Roman, he was a great persecutor of the church. Two strikes for him, not a Jew, and persecutor / killer of Christians. It is no wonder that he had such a difficult time being accepted as a convert to The Way.  He did however become one of the most noted Christians of all time.

          But in light of that love and mercy showered on us yesterday ( and always ), what of those who are called to faith, called to be a faithful person but are considered anathema simply for who they are?  Those in the gay community are not persecutors of the church and yet are often considered less than worthy as if Jesus' entire life was not geared towards respect of your brother and ministry to the marginalized. In an effort to fit in, many in the gay community suffer in silence in the churches of their youth trying in vain to fit in and be 'royal terriers'. All this at the risk of being outed, disrespected in worship, in a sermon and in church documents.  We can appreciate how hard Paul worked to because of his status but again, in light of the love and mercy showered on on yesterday, why should God's creations be so incredibly disrespected for being whom God made them to be? How can anyone be told they are not capable of or allowed to love and form a Sacramental relationship, a life long commitment?

              If you are called to faith and celebrating with joy the Easter gift, the promise of new life and a faith rich in wonder, love and appreciation for all God's gifts, do not waste your time seeking approval or asking "how high?" when asked to jump by a disrespecting church authority. Fight for your faith but seek a community that will nourish and respect your faith.

            Something to ponder: Jesus died for YOU, Jesus also rose for YOU.  

Now I should remind you, brothers and sisters, of the good news that I proclaimed to you, which you in turn received, in which also you stand, through which also you are being saved, if you hold firmly to the message that I proclaimed to you—unless you have come to believe in vain.

For I handed on to you as of first importance what I in turn had received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as to someone untimely born, he appeared also to me. For I am the least of the apostles, unfit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace towards me has not been in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them—though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. Whether then it was I or they, so we proclaim and so you have come to believe.

Christ is risen, who gets it?

John 20:1-18

            I have spoken about energy suckers (those that seem to drain life out of you) and energy givers (those whose presence always makes you feel better, alive, appreciative). Today is Easter Sunday! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Today is a energy giver if ever there is one! What more joyous day could there possibly be? Not only has Jesus taught us the way he has wiped the slate clean, giving us eternal hope and the promise of new life. We are heirs to the kingdom! 

               I hasten to note a few things though about today's passage from John (The disciple whom Jesus loved).  First, it was the women who were the first to witness the Resurrection. I note that because somehow in the translation from the time of Jesus to Rome and a very euro-centric male dominated church, that fact is sadly forgotten and hardly appreciated. The fact that Jesus ministered to, made friends with and appreciated women as worthy as men to receive and live the good news. It was just one more radical 'agenda' item that Jesus lived and showed us. The message received by the outcasts, the marginalized.

              Perhaps related to the first item is that the men doubted what the women were saying. I'll let that stand on it's own. The real point I'd like to make is that doubt. Here today we have been given the world. All that is perceived dead can rejoice, all that is ill can flourish again. We have a new beginning, eternal life born of of death in Jesus' rising to new life. What kind of 2x4 do we need to be whacked with to get it?  The disciples doubted it after they were repeatedly told what was going to happen. They will not even recognize Jesus as they walk along with him (on the road to Emmaus).  I suppose it is folly to think we may get it any better than they did then but look alive people! Jesus IS risen! The butterfly has emerged from the cocoon. The old is brand new. We are brand new. We have been graced with incredible gifts. Are we so blind that we cannot see what we have been graced with? 

            The women got it. The men, not so much.  Let's not waste any time digesting what has happened here. We have been granted clemency, our sentences commuted. We are free as the butterfly and no longer bound by the chains that have held us down. 

             Jesus Christ is Risen, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia!

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the tomb.

So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him."

Then Peter and the other disciple set out and went toward the tomb.

The two were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.

He bent down to look in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he did not go in.

Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen wrappings lying there,

and the cloth that had been on Jesus' head, not lying with the linen wrappings but rolled up in a place by itself.

Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed;

for as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead.

Then the disciples returned to their homes.

But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb;

and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet.

They said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him."

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?" Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away."

Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to him in Hebrew, "Rabbouni!" (which means Teacher).

Jesus said to her, "Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord"; and she told them that he had said these things to her.

If there was no resurrection....

Psalm 95

         Today is somewhat what I expect Limbo was thought of. What if there was no Resurrection? I mean today is an odd day. The disciples today were in confusion and dismay. They really didn't get it yet. Putting the pieces together didn't really come until sometime later, like in Emmaus and the upper room. Today would be the day after Jesus died. Jesus was the Messiah? wasn't he? How could he be gone? WTF? How could this be?

          It is from the love and generosity of God that the Word came to life as a human. To put a giant exclamation point on that love, Jesus rose from the dead with a promise of new life for each and every one of us. But like I say, the disciples did not realize that - yet. They were told it, taught it and studied it but they really were disillusioned and upset on this Holy Saturday. What can we derive from this as Christians and as gay men and women?

          Certainly we are part and parcel of the gift of the Resurrection but today, the day before we celebrate with joy, what message can we glean?

          There certainly has been an air of repentance in the air during Lent and being the best and most God made us to be. I would say to be the best human, the best gay person, the best artist, the best house cleaner, the best doctor or the best of whatever God had brought you to be and can be. In that process we make mistakes and fumble and take one step back sometimes after taking two steps forward. What are we to do?

         One of the things I have come to realize in life is how much we are graced with in life and how much we are asked to be stewards of. That can be both things and especially people.  There are no guarantees about it though. What we live and love must be appreciated in the moment. Even with mistakes in life, we must appreciate them as part of our journey and what makes each of us who we are. I am gathering that the disciples must have at that kind of feeling on this Holy Saturday. Not realizing the joy and the gift that was about to fall onto them on Sunday they were possessed to appreciate what they had experienced while Jesus was with them. They had to put some pieces of the puzzle together for themselves. What was it like to be in Jesus's presence while he walked with them? What messages did he convey to the disciples and to us as he lived? Figuratively? Literally? Could they and can we appreciate the incredible message of Jesus' life without resurrection? There is so much there. Jesus' whole life was a lesson in itself. The Resurrection which had not come yet is the grand topper, the most incredible gift ever given to mankind.

        Can we appreciate who we are, where we have been, warts and all? Can we appreciate those who have graced our lives? Can we appreciate a fleeting encounter with someone who may have taught us a bit more about love, compassion or giving of self without expectation of getting something back? 

         As a gay man dating I fully enjoyed meeting new people, varied people, good people. I had my own little bag of tricks that I used to meet decent people - or at least increase the odds I'd meet only decent people. By and large I met great people. Even if I knew it was a no hitter as far a relationship went, I appreciated who they are and I was richer for it. I met some genuinely nice people even if I realized they were not going to be my soul mate. 

       As a married man, long ago, I could say what a wasted time but that would patently false. There were so many graced, Sacramental moments.  I harbour no guilt and I harbour no ill feelings. What I know is that it was all graced and all part and parcel of who I am now.

        Last week found me in the mountains of Nevada hiking to a place called MaryJane falls. The drive to and the long hike to the falls was breathtaking. The vistas afforded us as we hiked were incredible. The effort and skill required to hike the gravelly switchbacks was awesome.  As it turned out, MaryJane falls turned out to be a mere trickle. It seemed almost laughable. But the message and the gift was this: It's all about the journey. 

       That truth, that appreciation of the journey is crucial, is part of what the disciples were faced with today before the Resurrection. Can we muster that same sense of awe and appreciation in our own lives? This limbo kind of day would seem an excellent time to ponder those thoughts. Take stock of your life and how you got where you are. Remember God's love through it all.

O come, let us sing to the Lord;
   let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
   let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
For the Lord is a great God,
   and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth;
   the heights of the mountains are his also.
The sea is his, for he made it,
   and the dry land, which his hands have formed. 

O come, let us worship and bow down,
   let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
For he is our God,
   and we are the people of his pasture,
   and the sheep of his hand. 

O that today you would listen to his voice!
Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah,
   as on the day at Massah in the wilderness,
when your ancestors tested me,
   and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.
For forty years I loathed that generation
   and said, ‘They are a people whose hearts go astray,
   and they do not regard my ways.’
Therefore in my anger I swore,
   ‘They shall not enter my rest.’

Betrayal

John 13:36-38

         How much disappointment can you bare?  They say the feeling of being betrayed is excruciating and unforgivable. A church? A best friend? A lover perhaps?  What of this that happens to Jesus today?

         Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem as a king, crowds cheering, palms waving and placed in his path. The excitement, the exhilaration! Within the week something happens. The day is decidedly dark, ominous, scary. This man who is God is betrayed by Judas, a friend, a disciple, one of thee twelve. Then Jesus is taken away and his #1 guy, the man whom he would place in charge, Peter, denies him not once, not twice but three times. 'Jesus who?' You can feel the depression setting in. His world would seem to crumble down. The ecstasy and now the agony. Tormented, tortured and paraded through the streets for everyone to see, laugh, jeer, spit. Wait, a familiar face, mother? Does she have to see me? Does she have to see this?  I ache and now I ache even more for her. So dark, sad, humiliating. How could we do this? 

          Hopefully we do not know the extent to how Jesus felt. If only in our imagination, it is breaks us down to tears, to sadness that rips at our hearts and our souls. We did this. He did this, he allowed this.

            Could we bare one tenth of this? Would we? Would you be willing? You are paraded as king, people know you are the Messiah and it is scraped away brutally. Do I offer myself in submission to anyone this way, the way of the cross? The way Jesus did for us? Dare we run the risk?

           Offering ourselves makes us so vulnerable. It brings the heights but it can bring the lows. Love can bring the zenith of joy and can seem to bring the terrors of anguish. Jesus willingly, knowingly submitted himself and today it seemed he reaped the rewards. 

        All or anything that we have tried to accomplish this Lenten season is coming crashing down as we enter into his misery. Feelings of loss, abandonment, guilt for when we fail. Father forgive us. Have we done this to your son? To you? To each other?

        Silence. Weeping. Sadness. A time to pray.  When have we denied Jesus? In a neighbor, a friend a stranger in need? Have we denied Jesus in denying who you are? Instead of out and proud, am I (down) low and dark? Did we do this to Jesus? Do we again today? 

Simon Peter said to him, ‘Lord, where are you going?’ Jesus answered, ‘Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow afterwards.’ Peter said to him, ‘Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.’ Jesus answered, ‘Will you lay down your life for me? Very truly, I tell you, before the cock crows, you will have denied me three times.

The Judas syndrome

1 Corinthians 10:14-17, 11:27-32

           When I was in seminary, one of our assignments was to attend a twelve step program meeting. As my own dad was an alcoholic, I sought out an AA meeting. What truly fascinated me was the variety of people at the meeting. Lawyers, doctors, farmers, teachers, housewives and young people. It was a broad spectrum of society, no one was safe it seemed.

           When I was dating my husband and even now as a newlywed, I never intend to hurt my spouse. Invariably because we are different people and I see things differently than he does and I am an imperfect person, I may say something or do something that hurts him.

           I don't think anyone gets up in the morning and says 'how can I hurt someone today?' or 'how can screw up today?' The fact is though we are imperfect. We all make mistakes, we all make faulty decisions, we delude ourselves that what we do is correct and in the process, we do invariably hurt people. I guess you could say we all sin and some of us more seriously than others but we all do.

             I don't believe Judas set out planning to betray Jesus. It was not a lengthy plot. When Judas had the thought of betraying Jesus, then he rationalized it and moved forward with the plan, then and only then did he fall into a trap we all do. We make mistakes, sometimes really big mistakes. Perhaps I am sugar coating it when I say mistakes, it is sin. Often it is a matter of degree and some of us are luckier' than others but we all sin. So while Judas did not set out with a plan, he came to a decision and it could have been any of us had we been there. Just like the people at the AA meeting, it could be any of us.

         So when we vilify Judas as we usually do, perhaps I am wrong but I am have empathy for him because we all sin. We can also think we are the persecuted ones and lash out at others for doing it but Jesus would tell us to love our persecutors so if we accept our sinfulness in any way and accept our savior and God's forgiveness, we must act differently all around. This all hits me with a keener sense of awareness because of Holy week but it something we might want to think about.

Therefore, my dear friends, flee from the worship of idols. I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a sharing in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a sharing in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be answerable for the body and blood of the Lord.Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For all who eat and drink without discerning the body, eat and drink judgement against themselves. For this reason many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.

Dumbfounded looks 101: Gay Chritians and a Jewish Jesus

Mark 14:12-25

         In the community I served when I was first ordained, it was an annual custom to have a Seder. This is fully in line with our faith as a Christian community since Jesus was Jewish.    I get a great kick out of the fact that there are so many Christians out there (born again, simple followers of Jesus or main line Christian denominations) who cannot grasp the fact that Jesus was really a honest to God, good practicing Jew. Such statements are met with quizzical looks and blank stares. They seem dumbfounded. When we read this passage it is presumptive by the disciples that Jesus would have a Seder and have a need to make preparations for Passover. But like I said, such news to some 'Christians' comes with shock.

           That same quizzical look comes to many faces when I say I am headed off to an LGBTQ spirituality meeting as if the two are mutually exclusive.  If we can learn just one simple thing from this passage however, the things that we are so sure of or make sense to us are often not correct.  Why wouldn't a person who is gay be thankful to God, be faithful and want to grow in their relationship with their Creator?  

         Jesus was as counter cultural as they come. Jesus was a rebel, a radical of the highest order. He was  a model for so many that came after, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and so many others. Perhaps even hippies and communists. Holy crap! But the thing I'd like to note most is that we should not be told we are anathema and believe it just because they say so. We can be gay, totally gay and be spiritual and religious as well. The Roman Catholic Church has a loooong way to go in that regard so I hasten to add that when I say we can be religious and spiritual that does not mean it has to be on some one else's terms. There are many open and affirming Christian, Jewish and Muslim communities. You may have to look but they are there. What is terribly important is to embrace your relationship with your Creator. God constantly calls to us and wants ever so much to hear us answer back. 

           Yesterday I went biking in the desert and came upon a nature trail that lead to an ancient spring.  I walked this trail alone but almost immediately was aware that I was very much not alone. I stopped and looked around and was very aware of God's presence.  Here I was, a gay man biking in the desert, hiking on trails communing with God whom I recognized was calling to me in the rocks, the animals and the wild flowers sustained by this ancient spring, turning the desert into an oasis of sorts.  Is there any greater metaphor for a journey with God that is not what others may expect or tell you is possible? And yet, would anyone be shocked to hear God calling in the desert as he did to the Israelites so long ago?  

           The essence of our faith and our relationship with God is not found in the "smells and bells" of religion. We are not bound by the rules and rubrics that even Jesus railed against. Let us seek God through his counter cultural, all embracing and rebel Son. This week would be an excellent week to do so.

           

On the first day of Unleavened Bread, when the Passover lamb is sacrificed, his disciples said to him, ‘Where do you want us to go and make the preparations for you to eat the Passover?’ So he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, ‘Go into the city, and a man carrying a jar of water will meet you; follow him, and wherever he enters, say to the owner of the house, “The Teacher asks, Where is my guest room where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?” He will show you a large room upstairs, furnished and ready. Make preparations for us there.’ So the disciples set out and went to the city, and found everything as he had told them; and they prepared the Passover meal.

When it was evening, he came with the twelve. And when they had taken their places and were eating, Jesus said, ‘Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me.’ They began to be distressed and to say to him one after another, ‘Surely, not I?’ He said to them, ‘It is one of the twelve, one who is dipping bread into the bowl with me. For the Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that one by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that one not to have been born.’

While they were eating, he took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to them, and said, ‘Take; this is my body.’ Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he gave it to them, and all of them drank from it. He said to them, ‘This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many. Truly I tell you, I will never again drink of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.’

Logic and truth

Mark 11:27-33

         True story, at a job an employee sees that something is very wrong and tells management.  The manager says "if you think you can do a better job, I'd like to see you do it". The employee is not saying necessarily that they have the inclination or the ability to fix the problem, they simply are pointing out the problem to the person who is responsible.   They are simply things we know and any amount of arguing, logic (circular or otherwise)  or  shifting responsibilities will change it. Perhaps that's somewhat of faith is. It is not necessarily that you can explain something but you know it's true. 

         Jesus was not going to engage the chief priests or scribes in arguments. Jesus knew the truth and the people at large knew the truth, especially about John the Baptist.  As far as Jesus goes, everyone could tell he was from God. They may not have realized he was the Messiah, the may not have known that he was the son of God either, but they knew he was of God. No amount of convincing or questions from the religious leaders was going to change that.

        This week I am focusing in perhaps more than ever on the humanity of Jesus because his human experience this week is incredibly intense. He is acknowledging fully his Divinity and where that clashes with his humanity is painful, heartwarming and humbling. 

        So too I am focusing on my own humanity and the humanity of those like me, that is LGBTQ. We know who we are and there is no questioning that. It is something I'd say we know in our bones. You can try reparative therapy, denial and celibacy but we are who we are.  Explain it away, logic it away if you wish, we are who we are. Our interface between our humanity and our 'gayness' is often painful . We too are often sacrificed on the altar of expedience, ignorance and a desire to make others feel 'correct' or more normal.  Just as sure as a person who knows they are straight before they have 'done anything' we too know who we are. Please do not try to diminish our God given gift, our minority blessedness or who we are. 

         Our interface between our sexuality and our own divinity (small D) is something that we must embrace as sure as Jesus did with his Divinity (capital D). God calls us to him/her and we must answer in the affirmative for all that it means. Hopefully that does not mean we will not be hung on a cross. Still though, I cry over Matthew Shephard.

         If we open ourselves uy to the joys of being gay and being a beloved child of God this would be the week to do so. We can rise to new life on Easter morn as sure as Jesus did. No need to explain or make logic of it. You should know you are a beloved child of God. It is not a guaranteed easy road but it graced and full of love and holds the promise of eternal life.

Again they came to Jerusalem. As he was walking in the temple, the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders came to him and said, ‘By what authority are you doing these things? Who gave you this authority to do them?’ Jesus said to them, ‘I will ask you one question; answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I do these things. Did the baptism of John come from heaven, or was it of human origin? Answer me.’They argued with one another, ‘If we say, “From heaven”, he will say, “Why then did you not believe him?” But shall we say, “Of human origin”?’—they were afraid of the crowd, for all regarded John as truly a prophet. So they answered Jesus, ‘We do not know.’ And Jesus said to them, ‘Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.’

Not around forever

John 12:1-11

         If the message of Easter is dying and rising to new life, the message of todays passage is intimately related to it in respecting life and everything we are graced with.

         The trio of Lazarus, Martha and Mary still some of the best friends (and disciples) Jesus has and Mary has gone and anointed Jesus' feet with costly perfume. Anyone could easily say "what a waste of money". Jesus rightfully points out that he will not be there much longer and so it is fitting. There will always be a time for being practical. To our embarassment, the poor are still with us today and it is not as simple as go "get a job" or that they are lazy.  Jesus points to something fundamental to life as humans and another parting messagge to us as if dying for us is not enough.

          I have been close to many people over the years and there are a few that trouble me. In one case I spoke to the person on the phone and was asked to come and visit which I never got a round to accomplshing. Then that person died. It certainly was a message to me. Sadly it was a message revisited many years later. In the second instance I let fear of being present to a person whom I knew was facing iminent death from cancer.  Opportunities lost becasue they were 'not around forever'.

          When we resepect life and the people God has graced us with in our lives, it means not taking them for granted. How many stories are you aware of where people died suddenly when a loved one did not have a chance to say goodbye or show them the love that was in their heart. If we appreciate the gifts that God has graced us with, we need to break the jar of expensive perfume on them. We need to show them in every way we can how much they are loved and before it is too late.

        This is not limited to the human relationshis in our life but also God. Sometimes we put off that intimate relationship with God we are constantly being called to. We put it off for this or that. Our lives are too busy, our obligations get in the way. But just like any human relationship that needs attention and communication to survive, so does our relationship with God.

        What a great week to rekindle the flame of love, the relationship with your creator who calls to you every day.

Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ‘Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?’ (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, ‘Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.’

When the great crowd of the Jews learned that he was there, they came not only because of Jesus but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests planned to put Lazarus to death as well, since it was on account of him that many of the Jews were deserting and were believing in Jesus.

Decisions, desicions, decisions and love

Matthew 26:36-39

          Jesus knew full well what was going to happen. I'm not sure if he knew his whole life, if it was gradually revealed, or whether he was just coming to realize the roller coaster he was on and what was the inevitable end. He was going to die and it was not going to be pretty. It was ugly and excruciating.  As a human, he knew pain, if only from stubbing his toe or hitting himself accidentally at the wood shop, he knew pain. He knew this was going to be something far beyond that. Jesus also knew why he become man. While he experienced the joys of love and friendship and the grief of losing a friend, he also knew he came to redeem us, to save us and to open up heaven and eternal life for us. Here he is in the garden seeing both what he might want as our God but feeling the real pain of deciding does he really need to go through this? This is going to hurt. But I love them he must be saying, I love mankind something awful.

             It almost seems like we can comprehend the humanity of Jesus, we know to some degree how he feels. We too feel pain, joy, sorrow, love, anger. But are we asked to make such a decision as he made?   Some of us have given the supreme sacrifice for others but more often than not we are not called to such an extreme. Perhaps we'd give up the last piece of cake for our kids or work 2 (or 3) jobs so our family could live a better life or go to college. That still is the minor league compared to Jesus.

          There is another way in which we share in some sense the decision that Jesus made.  As a gay man or woman we have to decide to come out, to acknowledge whom God made us to be or to hide who we are. Again, not in the same league as Jesus but quite profound with far reaching consequences, many of which are painful and cause our own agonies.

          When I was in therapy and could finally say the words to myself', "I am gay", I had a choice to make. Perhaps subconsciously I knew because I was tormented at the thought of being gay and the resulting choices I'd have to make seemed enormous. A lose / lose if you will. Do I make the decision that honors who I am and in so doing honors God who created me this way? I could live a bifurcated life, living on the DL. I did not want to make this decision. It took a good deal of courage, self respect and most of all honesty to come out. Life would not be the same in any way save for breathing. 

          The decision that I made and the decision that Jesus made has everything to do with love and respect for who we are and our love of our Father.  Some decisions are easier, some decision have greater risk attached. In Jesus's case the results were known, torture, pain and death.  It seems to me that any so called difficult decisions on our part that we have to make pales in comparison to what Jesus did for us. It certainly was a driving force for me as a faithful person coming out. I knew that Jesus died for me and was at my side - always.

        As we walk the journey with Jesus this week, perhaps we can think of what exactly he did for us, every joyful minute of his life, every sad moment of his life, every excruciating moment of his life as he was nailed to the cross and breathed his last breath and forgiving us for what WE did to him to boot.

       Any decision we make pales. What a gift he gave us and still gives us every singly moment of our lives.

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and agitated. Then he said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.’ And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.’ 

Lost sheep

Matthew 18:10-14

          Yesterday I alluded to what have been called 'CAPE' Catholics though the idea is valid in almost any religion. 'CAPE' stands for Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter, those days you can count on the faithful to show up at church in droves, but only on those days. The rest of the year, they are all strangers. Very often they are looked down upon by the 'regulars', those that attend church every Sunday or perhaps even every day. I have see some tension when the seat of someone who attends regularly and has their own preferred seat is supplanted by one of the 'strangers'. "that's my seat!" (stranger).

            People seem to feel they have a sense of entitlement. Perhaps in drilling into people that God loves them, they think they are the only one that God loves. It's always about me, me, me. The fact is God loves all of us equally.  Paraphrasing a book I once read, 'God loves others at least as much as God loves me'.  But! I go to church every Sunday, all year long and they don't! Well, I don't think you get extra credit for doing what you really should be doing anyway, going to church every Sunday.  If you are quick to say but they don't! Well, then you get into judgements and again, raising yourself above everyone else at their expense.  

            We need to do two things. We need to be our best because that is what we are called to do, regardless of anyone else or what anyone else does (or doesn't do). Second, we need to know we are all loved equally. Perhaps God appreciates where each of is on our own personal journeys and loves us in spite of our shortcomings, seeing the BIG picture, the picture we will never be able to really see.  We need to realize that no matter who we are or where we are or what we are, God would leave the whole crowd and search for us individually. God calls us all individually.

         So whether you are a sinner of any kind, gay, black, white, Muslim, Hindu, challenged, divorced, or even straight and Catholic, we are all called and all loved. We are all the lost sheep in one way or another. That conjures up the image that we are all queer in one way or another, but I will leave that topic for another time. Just so we all know that we are all loved, all called, all welcome at God's table.

‘Take care that you do not despise one of these little ones; for, I tell you, in heaven their angels continually see the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think? If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.

Biblical stormtroopers

Matthew 10:7-16

          I am always amazed at how much of the Bible is used as a weapon or simply as a justification of one's position. It was the Bible that was used to justify slavery back in the day. Slavery is mentioned in the Bible isn't it? Doesn't it say something about owning slaves being ok as long as they are from foreign lands? Can I own French slaves or Canadians? The Bible is so often misquoted, mis-translated and passages are taken out of context and simply bastardized.

         The case in point today is that passage from Genesis often used as a 2x4 to beat down the gays and proclaim how evil gay sex is that happens to be referenced here today in Matthew. So what sin is here in Matthew that has any connection to gay sex?  Well, there is not connection. The connection if you will is about hospitality. That was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Lot meets two Angels disguised as men and offers them hospitality and protection.  The men of Sodom and Gomorrah however want no part in hospitality, they wish to rape these two men as a sign of their power over them. Making a man submit as a women would be the ultimate disgrace in their culture. Women were chattel and to treat a man as a women was the ultimate in control and humiliation.  This attempted man on man rape is not a homosexual act per se, it is rape. Consensual gay sex, love and commitment is the farthest thing from rape.  To make matters worse, Lot offers his two daughters to the village men so the daughters can be raped in the place of the two male guests.  Is this rape ok??  How is this little part of the story omitted when Biblical stormtroopers are hammering the gay community?  If you are using this passage of man on man rape as a reason to condemn same sex consensual loving relationships, should not these same people condemn heterosexual relationships based on the rape of Lots two daughters?  The twist and turns of poor Biblical translations and misuse is staggering. The passage from Genesis is but one example.

         So we now know, in spite of the biblical stormtroopers that the Genesis story of Sodom and Gomorrah and this passage from Matthew are speaking about hospitality( or inhospitality ) , making people feel welcome, especially strangers. How do we make strangers feel? 

         Jesus was not always welcomed where he went. Sure, there were legions of followers and interested side liners, but there were many who felt threatened by Jesus, especially the Jewish leaders of the day. Their power would be supplanted by Jesus. Worse, Jesus was replacing them and also informing everyone how incorrectly legalistic and wrong hearted they were. A double whammy. So Jesus knew about not being welcomed. Jesus escaped from being stoned on several occasions, slipping out the back way so to speak.

          It would seem hospitality is a big thing for us to practice. No only was Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed for their lack of hospitality, the disciples are being cautioned about it as they travel. 

         Whenever I travel I always try to stay in a nice hotel, B&B or with family. At the end of a travelling day it is joyous to kick up the feet and feel at home, welcome and rested, perhaps even a little room service might be in order. We can all appreciate being made feel welcome. We have ample passages to tell us that we are all called to be hospitable. After all, isn't everyone on this blue globe our brother and sister? God did not create borders, we do.  

          Perhaps at Easter when the church is filled with strangers, once a year Catholics or maybe a traveller or two, shouldn't we welcome everyone with open arms, minds and hearts? Isn't that what God calls us to be? If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement than for that town

As you go, proclaim the good news, “The kingdom of heaven has come near.” Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment. Take no gold, or silver, or copper in your belts, no bag for your journey, or two tunics, or sandals, or a staff; for labourers deserve their food. Whatever town or village you enter, find out who in it is worthy, and stay there until you leave. As you enter the house, greet it. If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement than for that town.

‘See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.