Betrayal

John 13:36-38

         How much disappointment can you bare?  They say the feeling of being betrayed is excruciating and unforgivable. A church? A best friend? A lover perhaps?  What of this that happens to Jesus today?

         Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem as a king, crowds cheering, palms waving and placed in his path. The excitement, the exhilaration! Within the week something happens. The day is decidedly dark, ominous, scary. This man who is God is betrayed by Judas, a friend, a disciple, one of thee twelve. Then Jesus is taken away and his #1 guy, the man whom he would place in charge, Peter, denies him not once, not twice but three times. 'Jesus who?' You can feel the depression setting in. His world would seem to crumble down. The ecstasy and now the agony. Tormented, tortured and paraded through the streets for everyone to see, laugh, jeer, spit. Wait, a familiar face, mother? Does she have to see me? Does she have to see this?  I ache and now I ache even more for her. So dark, sad, humiliating. How could we do this? 

          Hopefully we do not know the extent to how Jesus felt. If only in our imagination, it is breaks us down to tears, to sadness that rips at our hearts and our souls. We did this. He did this, he allowed this.

            Could we bare one tenth of this? Would we? Would you be willing? You are paraded as king, people know you are the Messiah and it is scraped away brutally. Do I offer myself in submission to anyone this way, the way of the cross? The way Jesus did for us? Dare we run the risk?

           Offering ourselves makes us so vulnerable. It brings the heights but it can bring the lows. Love can bring the zenith of joy and can seem to bring the terrors of anguish. Jesus willingly, knowingly submitted himself and today it seemed he reaped the rewards. 

        All or anything that we have tried to accomplish this Lenten season is coming crashing down as we enter into his misery. Feelings of loss, abandonment, guilt for when we fail. Father forgive us. Have we done this to your son? To you? To each other?

        Silence. Weeping. Sadness. A time to pray.  When have we denied Jesus? In a neighbor, a friend a stranger in need? Have we denied Jesus in denying who you are? Instead of out and proud, am I (down) low and dark? Did we do this to Jesus? Do we again today? 

Simon Peter said to him, ‘Lord, where are you going?’ Jesus answered, ‘Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow afterwards.’ Peter said to him, ‘Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.’ Jesus answered, ‘Will you lay down your life for me? Very truly, I tell you, before the cock crows, you will have denied me three times.