A gift for moi ?

Hebrews 10:19-25

          Perhaps you can recall someone who gave you the perfect gift. It's such a wonderful feeling when someone gives you a present that really had some thought behind it, something that you alone would appreciate.  It's a wonderful feeling and the gift giver is raised ever so much in your eyes.

           Before I really realized I was gay, I went into therapy to deal with all the mental turmoil I was experiencing.  This was a highly trained paid therapist but I still hold him in very high regard for the professional and heartfelt assistance he offered to help me realize what my problem was and just how I would handle it. He did not steer me but prodded, inquired and offered the comfort and reassurance to let me arrive at my own epiphanies, decisions and ultimately supported the course of action I decided upon. This was a gift to me of enormous proportions.

          The other day a plane went done in the Hudson river. Immediately a father and son raced to the scene, pulled the people aboard their boat and the son offered one of them his coat. These are heroes in our eyes and I am sure in the eyes of those poor souls who crashed. What a gift they received from those rescuers.

          Yesterday also, I heard the story of a veteran who had received two new arms in a transplant, only the seventh of it's kind in the United States. He is already able to use his new arms and has set some lofty goals for himself. In the news conference he thanked especially the donors of those arms. Again, what a gift!

            I suppose we would have incredible appreciation and be in awe of anyone who would risk there life to save ours or actually give their life so we could live. Well, that is what Jesus has done. I always say, if you were the only human being, he still would have willingly died on the cross just for you. The fact is, his majesty and glory is so great, so far beyond anything we can comprehend, he really did die just for you. Wow. This is the price he paid so we could be free from sin, free to love, free to be who we are.

              If we have ever had anything bad happen in our lives, we may get a hint of what it is like to live in a constant fog, a shadow, as if a darkness constantly pervades and weighs on our life. Jesus frees us from that. Jesus' love, his dying on the cross for us was so we can approach God in love and faith with no fear , with all confidence in his love and forgiveness. We need to offer no sacrifices or gifts. Jesus sacrificed himself as a gift to us.

         How wonderful, how awe inspiring, how humbling, how loving.

         Jesus, the perfect gift - to us.

Therefore, my friends, since we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain (that is, through his flesh), and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us approach with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful. And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Journey

Mark 4:1-20

           I am a trekkie. Even if you aren't, you'll understand the scene of someone stepping into the transporter and moments later they appear in a distant location.  Ahh, the future seems so grand. Instant gratification, no journey - zap! and you're there!

           Life is not like that though. I often speak about us being on a journey to wholeness. This isn't something we can go out and buy. It surely is something we should own however. It doesn't happen overnight and perhaps not even in a lifetime. But that is life, that is our goal, that is our purpose in life.

            We are to created by God in His (or Her) image and we are to know God, love God and serve him. (remember the Baltimore Catechism?) The serve part isn't that bad at all, it involves getting to know who you are and loving others. There, that wasn't too hard was it? Getting to know who you are and loving others - that's our journey. Still, we may not fully succeed, even in our lifetime.

              What I love about this reading and that gives me great hope is how the Apostles don't get it. I mean his own disciples don't get it. They hear what Jesus says and they have to have it explained again and again. This happens over and over in the scriptures too because they also were on a journey. The people he picked seem to be thick headed.  Later, in a different reading, they run from Jesus. They abandon him. Peter, his number one guy basically says 'Jesus who?' I'm not trying demean the Apostles. My point is that if they had trouble getting it and they were chosen to spread the Good News, how can we be expected to get it? 

              I can think of many, many times when I am thick headed. I say things I don't really want to say, I make the same mistakes over and over in spite of my sincere attempts and resolve not to. Why is that ?

              It happens because life is not a transporter from star trek. Life is as I have said many times, a journey to wholeness. We are not perfect and God does not expect us to be.  We are expected to try to love, we are expected to try to move along on the journey and perhaps most importantly, God would love to hear from us once in a while. God longs to hear from us, his children and He is great enough, grand enough, to take it all in. 

               Yes, life is a journey to wholeness. Figure out who you are, own it, cherish it, love it, embrace it. Don't expect to become perfect in an instant.

Again he began to teach beside the lake. Such a very large crowd gathered around him that he got into a boat on the lake and sat there, while the whole crowd was beside the lake on the land. He began to teach them many things in parables, and in his teaching he said to them: ‘Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched; and since it had no root, it withered away.Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.’ And he said, ‘Let anyone with ears to hear listen!’

When he was alone, those who were around him along with the twelve asked him about the parables. And he said to them, ‘To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside, everything comes in parables; in order that
“they may indeed look, but not perceive,
   and may indeed listen, but not understand;
so that they may not turn again and be forgiven.” ’

And he said to them, ‘Do you not understand this parable? Then how will you understand all the parables? The sower sows the word. These are the ones on the path where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them. And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: when they hear the word, they immediately receive it with joy. But they have no root, and endure only for a while; then, when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away. And others are those sown among the thorns: these are the ones who hear the word, but the cares of the world, and the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things come in and choke the word, and it yields nothing. And these are the ones sown on the good soil: they hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.’

Jesus' brothers and sisters

Mark 3:31-35

             With marriage equality a hot topic, one of the last fontiers of civil rights, the subject of family comes not far behind. What is a family? I don't think I need to do much convincing to say that families come in a variety not unlike the colors of a rainbow.

            I am "the product of a broken home" according to some in the Catholic faith. That is, not a child, not a beautiful soul of God but that horrid moniker. In any event, my family life was not that of Ward and June Cleaver. And yet I most certainly was part of a family. My family was a mother and 4 sons for the most part.  You certainly could extend that to Dad and his new wife, and 'steps'. You could also include the spinster ladies next door who played as vital a role in my upbringing as anyone else. The picture is not typical for it's day but would seem almost picket fence now. This was an early lesson to me about what a family is, not necessarily blood relatives.

         That last point was driven home when I came out. There are people you share your lives with that have absolutely no blood relation to you that become more a member of your family than anyone else. Family that I hoped would stand by my side, even if not enthusiastically, dropped me like a hot potato. I made new friends and even consider that some wonderful people are a new family to me. I still have my traditional family, siblings, children, in-laws. All of this is wonderful, a blessing. But you have to know my definition of family is greatly expanded.

           There are countless people out there who may come across this blog and thier definition of family may be different still.  In my blog the other day I referenced houses versus homes. I said that a home was "A safe and loving place, where people live shared lives of caring and commitment to each other." That is a pretty good definition of family too.  It encompasses so much from Ward and June, to single parents, gay couples with kids, it even moves on to include all of us here on this beautiful blue globe we call home.

           In all this talk of family, let's go back to todays' passage from Mark. With my penchant for scriptural interpretation and exegesis, this is a perfect example.  Personally, I do not see any problem with the fact that Jesus may have had biological brothers and sisters. Yet, this passage has been interpreted otherwise. The mere idea that Mary may have had other children seems blasphemous to them. It is almost an article of faith that Jesus was the only child of Mary. Perhaps this was a literary tool of Mark to get Jesus' message across of who our family truly is. That kind of answer becomes blasphemous to other Christians who take a literalist stand on the scriptures. We know that is pretty much hogwash. Still the question of family is still out there.

           Anyone that would have you believe that the definition of family is set in stone and is defined by the likes of Ward and June Cleaver or even The Brady Bunch is sadly mistaken and  woefully in denial.
     
              Right now my family is increasing, looking forward with great anticipation to becoming a grandfather. Still, my day-in and day-out family is one man, the perfect husband and one perfect cat who has captured my heart as well.  I suggest you might want to think about who your family is. Take stock, give thanks and praise to God for the loving hands and hearts in your life.

Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, ‘Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.’ And he replied, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ And looking at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.’ 

The unforgivable sin

Mark 3:19-30

           What is the unforgivable sin?  Blaspheming the Holy Spirit? How are we to take that from this passage. They blasphemed the Spirit of Jesus Christ by saying that he had an unclean Spirit. 

            What of us then? Perhaps we recognize that Jesus is God the Son of the Most High. It would never occur to me to say any bad things about Him but we have the benefit of history, of sacred texts, faith  and seeing the positive good effects of His work in our lives. My question though is what of the spirit within all of us, each other, of whoever 'they' might be? 

           As children of God we all have the Spirit of the living God within us. If we utter merely a bad word or thought about someone, are we too blaspheming the Spirit of God? If you want to err on the side of caution, perhaps for that reason alone we should watch our tongues. Every life, however bad it is perceived, is not for us to judge. Even if we we are correct in the moment, God sees the infinite and is timeless. Can a person repent? Are they not also on a journey to wholeness? Who are we to judge? In condemning, do we not condemn ourselves?

          When we judge, we are at least guilty of the arrogance of spirit that we know better and we have not only the answer but the dfinitive and correct answer. Is our vision that clear? Are we not setting ourselves upon the throne? That it would seem might be close to unforgivable. 

           Do not judge, lest you be judged.

and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

Then he went home; and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, ‘He has gone out of his mind.’ And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, ‘He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.’ And he called them to him, and spoke to them in parables, ‘How can Satan cast out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but his end has come. But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his property without first tying up the strong man; then indeed the house can be plundered.

‘Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven for their sins and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin’— for they had said, ‘He has an unclean spirit.’

Favorite body parts

Nehemiah 8:1-3, 5-6, 8-10 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-31a

Nehemiah 8:1-3, 5-6, 8-10

         I often write about each individual being on a journey to wholeness, celebrating God's love for themselves and taking joy and pride in who God made us, made us to be. It is a lifelong journey. Even when you realize you are gay and come out, while it brings great joy and peace of mind, we are still not whole. No matter who you are, wholeness comes from loving. Wholeness comes from a relationship with our creator. Wholeness comes from exploring all of who we are, embracing it, loving who we are, cherishing who we are and sharing who we are. No small task.

         But let me go to a broader topic. In the reading today from Nehemiah, there are some passages to gives us food for thought that directly relate to the reading from St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians .

         In our first reading it speaks of those that  have interest in hearing God's word, those who can understand it and those that have ears to hear. Appropriately, it says both men and women. Good for you Nehemiah! This passage speaks of reading the book with interpretation. Can you imagine  the possible differences in the interpretation of what was read? What would their community be like if the reading was interpreted as only for men? What would it be like if the lens for interpretation was not unlike that of a radical Muslim Imam who twists the words to suit a fanatical agenda? What if the interpretation was that of a euro centric male dominated orthodoxy that had it's agenda based more in sustaining it's own power and agenda than that of God's love?

         I have always said that scripture needs to be read very carefully. It can speak many messages to us throughout our lives, as it should, but translational errors, transcriptional errors, sociological, and historical concerns all need to be weighed in our reading. Scripture rarely can be taken literally.

          In coming to the reading from Saint Paul, he speaks about different body parts.  We cannot say to the foot, you are a hand. You cannot say we do not need the legs? One of the glories of God's creation is the many parts that make up the whole. Paul made no mistake by using this analogy, it works for us personally to appreciate the very essence of our physical being. It also works for the entire church. No one person is greater, no one group within the church s greater. Each has it's part, each has it's role, it's glory, it's gift. I would extend this to all creation, to all of God's revelations in all the world. Each religion has it's gift, it's image of God to be acknowledged and explored. Each holds it's part of  the bigger truth. NO one religion holds the complete truth. That would be like saying the foot is the entire body or the brain is the most important. 

             There are many religious who woud interpret the bible to say that being Gay is wrong, that we are "objectively disordered". Their interpretation is that we are called to celibacy. Some would say we are called to die.  This is so incredibly narrow minded and supremely disrespectful of our creator. It twists his holy words to suit a fearful, prejudiced and wrong minded agenda. It is not of God. This kind of evil interpretation does not recognize the beautiful diversity of God's creation. This kind of interpretation negates the gifts that the gay community offers to all of mankind. The gay community has been around as long as creation itself because it is an intended part of God's creation. It is a part of God's expression of love. Certainly not the only expression, but one expression; admittedly a minority expression but an expression none the less. And if you are gay, it is a beautiful expression of God's creation.

           As the last lines of our reading from Nehemiah would have us do, go forth and celebrate 'eating the fat and drinking the wine'.  Celebrate who you are, one and all. Party on !

all the people gathered together into the square before the Water Gate. They told the scribe Ezra to bring the book of the law of Moses, which the LORD had given to Israel.

Accordingly, the priest Ezra brought the law before the assembly, both men and women and all who could hear with understanding. This was on the first day of the seventh month.

He read from it facing the square before the Water Gate from early morning until midday, in the presence of the men and the women and those who could understand; and the ears of all the people were attentive to the book of the law.

And Ezra opened the book in the sight of all the people, for he was standing above all the people; and when he opened it, all the people stood up.

Then Ezra blessed the LORD, the great God, and all the people answered, "Amen, Amen," lifting up their hands. Then they bowed their heads and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground.

So they read from the book, from the law of God, with interpretation. They gave the sense, so that the people understood the reading.

And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, "This day is holy to the LORD your God; do not mourn or weep." For all the people wept when they heard the words of the law.

Then he said to them, "Go your way, eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions of them to those for whom nothing is prepared, for this day is holy to our LORD; and do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

1 Corinthians 12:12-31a

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.

For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body--Jews or Greeks, slaves or free--and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.

Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many.

If the foot would say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.

And if the ear would say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.

If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be?

But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.

If all were a single member, where would the body be?

As it is, there are many members, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you."

On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,

and those members of the body that we think less honorable we clothe with greater honor, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect;

whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior member,

that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another.

If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers; then deeds of power, then gifts of healing, forms of assistance, forms of leadership, various kinds of tongues.

Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?

Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?

But strive for the greater gifts.

We have the power

John 8:51-59

          When I think of this reading many images pass through my mind. One actually is the Arab Spring. The arrogance of some people, so called leaders, that seem to be convinced that they are the country they lead. It would appear that they feel the country would be nothing without them. They forget about the people, the people are the country.

          The same goes for the church leaders in this passage and perhaps even the church leaders of today. While God may have given them  the grace and trust to lead and shepherd, there is a line that is crossed in elevating yourself to God's level or saying that what you say is God's words or thoughts. That is, they begin to think that what they say actually is God's word and that everything they say believe and say is straight from God. Everyone is on a journey to wholeness and it includes every church leader that ever walked the earth.
     
           It must have been shocking for Jesus to announce that "I am", that biblical expression that denotes  I am God. It must be frustrating and humbling for church leaders and political leaders alike to find out that they are not in fact the pinnacle of power, they are not the omniscient one.

             While some are in fact leaders and entrusted with more, we all have a role to play in the salvation story. That does not necessarily mean that we are to be obedient Christian soldiers devoid of any thought of our own or ability to have our own vision and piece to the plan of God's love for the world.

          We are all God's children, equally loved, each an integral part of the world, each one to be respected and loved, each with a piece of the puzzle.  In this regard the vision of church is more like a wagon wheel with us all on the same playing field as opposed to the idea of a Pyramid where God (who indeed is far above us) but then it filters down to Pope, Bishops, Priests, Deacons, Men and then women. That image should be eradicated. Perhaps another analogy would be that if God is al around us, we are all equally accessible to him by virtue of our existence on this round but essentially flat surface.  

           The power, wisdom and love of God is in us all. The answers are all within us all. This is the concept of sensus fidelium and the role of conscience. What we all need to do is recognize our own Godliness and power to love, granted us by our creator.          

Very truly, I tell you, whoever keeps my word will never see death.’ The Jews said to him, ‘Now we know that you have a demon. Abraham died, and so did the prophets; yet you say, “Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.” Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died? The prophets also died. Who do you claim to be?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, he of whom you say, “He is our God”, though you do not know him. But I know him; if I were to say that I do not know him, I would be a liar like you. But I do know him and I keep his word. Your ancestor Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day; he saw it and was glad.’ Then the Jews said to him, ‘You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?’Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, before Abraham was, I am.’ So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple.

There's no place like home

Mark 3:13-19

           I'm thinking of a wonderful song I heard in Promises, Promises on Broadway sung by Kristin Chenoweth. The lyrics go like this, "a chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there but a chair is not a house, and a house is not a home, when there's no one there to hold you tight and no one there you can kiss goodnight".

          To many in the gay community, the word 'home' does not bring back fond memories as it should. To a teen or young adult, abused, berated,  disowned and thrown out of their house, the memories are not so sweet.  Still, I think we all know what a home should be. Perhaps not apple pies cooling on the window shelf or a white picket fence, but certainly a haven, a place of comfort and refuge. A safe and loving place, where people live shared lives of caring and commitment to each other.

          It is that safe and loving place that I'd like to conjure in your mind. That's where Jesus went  after he laid the foundation of his ministry by naming his Apostles. When Jesus really started his ministry and knew what was ahead, he went home to his mother's house - his home - his place of comfort and love. This place could have been far from a safe and loving haven for him. Forget about anyone being gay for the moment, how could Mary have reacted to a son who always was so different? While his ministry certainly would be even more of a challenge to Mary and we do not know many facts about Jesus' youth (from any canonical books anyway), he certainly was different. Finding him in the temple after being missing for days, preaching in the synangogue as a youth. Mary had her hands full. But Mary obviously did create a loving home and that is where Jesus returned to as this passage indicates.

           Our instincts tell us always to go home to a place of comfort. My favorite time of day is coming home to my husband and and our cat - our home. When anyone has serious problems, one place people often go is to church, another 'home' , a place of comfort and love and consolation. It is said that home is where the heart is.

             What do we do about creating a safe home, a welcoming home, a loving and nurturing home? And not just in our house and not just at church. What do we do to make people feel at home in our presence?  As a gay person or as the parent or relative of a gay person, how do we  nurture a feeling of love and acceptance - a sense of 'home'.  After all, a home is more than a building.

          "a chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there but a chair is not a house, and a house is not a home, when there's no one there, to hold you tight and no one there, you can kiss goodnight".

        Kiss and hugs to everyone, brothers and sisters.

         

He went up the mountain and called to him those whom he wanted, and they came to him. And he appointed twelve, whom he also named apostles, to be with him, and to be sent out to proclaim the message, and to have authority to cast out demons. So he appointed the twelve, Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter); James son of Zebedee and John the brother of James (to whom he gave the name Boanerges, that is, Sons of Thunder); and Andrew, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus, and Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

Then he went home;

Happy hour

Mark 3:7-12

          Ahhh, a hard week at work. Let's get together with some friends tomorrow and celebrate Friday at the local pub with a few brews and good company. That's not quite what Jesus is saying but it's somewhat close. Jesus told his disciples to have a boat ready to get away from the crowds. 

          Jesus welcomed all, healed all. He consorted with the outcasts, the unclean and changed their lives as He changes the life of anyone who comes to him. Even so, Jesus needs to escape. We all need to escape. I think that's the idea behind happy hour. What we really need is something a bit more substantial.

          Even though we are to be part of the world, we are not of the world, we need to remove ourselves from the world to recharge, put things into perspective, give time to converse with our God with no other interruptions. This removal of ourselves can happen in various degrees but it is crucial that it happen. Quiet time, down time, seclusion, whatever it is. It is as necessary to our soul as food is to our bodies. We need to recharge our personal batteries and focus on what is important. Part of that for me is getting up at a seemingly ungodly hour and meditating as well as writing this blog. To someone else it might be a bubble bath, still to others sitting at the beach, or just quiet time away from it all, perhaps a long drive. I like all the above actually. Throw in a few days of silent prayer and that would be perfect.

         We all need to recharge. Enter the silence, feel his peace.

7 Jesus departed with his disciples to the lake, and a great multitude from Galilee followed him; ⁸hearing all that he was doing, they came to him in great numbers from Judea, Jerusalem, Idumea, beyond the Jordan, and the region around Tyre and Sidon. ⁹He told his disciples to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, so that they would not crush him; ¹⁰for he had cured many, so that all who had diseases pressed upon him to touch him. ¹¹Whenever the unclean spirits saw him, they fell down before him and shouted, ‘You are the Son of God!’ ¹²But he sternly ordered them not to make him known.

Politics as usual

Mark 3:1-6

            Sometimes I get so angry over the politics of our time. Back door deals and stubborn attachments to a political agenda or ideology makes it so that nothing really gets accomplished. It is frustrating for the average Joe's like us working hard and living our daily lives.  One of the surprises of seeing that great movie Lincoln, was the extent of the politics back in that time. Part of Lincoln that was so good was that you got so caught up in the movie that you wondered how it was all going to turn out!

            If it was frustrating to realize just how politics were alive in the 1860's, it must be astonishing to read this passage and see that it was equally alive in the time of Christ. The Pharisees conspiring with the Herodians. The Herodians. There's a word you don't hear every day but some Googling and some reading on Wiki and you get a sense of it all.

          It seems things never go quite as well as you' like even when you know you are righteous or have God on your side. It certainly didn't go well for our Lord did it?

          So what lesson is to be learned here then? Should we roll over and give up? Absolutely not. Jesus knew he was being watched in the synagogue. It didn't stop him from doing what was right, being true to his nature. It did not stop him from living out the love of the Father. It should not stop us either.  If you let yourself get lost in the fact that there is conspiring and politics going on, you might fail to see that Jesus cured a man of his withered hand. A miracle. A gesture of love, forgiveness. Jesus gives the man a new beginning in spite of the politics. 

           As it is with Jesus always, He promises and delivers new beginnings every day in spite of what may be going on in the world.

Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there who had a withered hand. They watched him to see whether he would cure him on the sabbath, so that they might accuse him. And he said to the man who had the withered hand, ‘Come forward.’ Then he said to them, ‘Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the sabbath, to save life or to kill?’ But they were silent. He looked around at them with anger; he was grieved at their hardness of heart and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. The Pharisees went out and immediately conspired with the Herodians against him, how to destroy him. 

Righteous gay love

Mark 2:23-28

          Let's see if I can draw this analogy properly. The disciples are plucking wheat and eating it which is considered wrong by what the pharisees say is God's 'law'. 

          If you are gay and Catholic, there is no sin in that according to what the Catechism says. In fact it actually would say that all respect and love should be afforded these people that are "objectively disordered". Well, first off, good luck being treated with love and respect but that is a side note here.

          The church would have you believe that you are called to celibacy if you are gay. It is what they say is God's law. If you were to be observed in a loving (homosexual) relationship, that would be considered a sin. Like the apostles being judged for plucking wheat though, the church misses the mark. First, I have to say just how wrong they are as well as wrong hearted and even hard hearted. But in the context of God's intentions it would seem that the higher law is to love. I am not talking disrespectful love, but respectful, considerate and normal expressions of love. Is that not what God created us for?  Yes, God created male and female but that passage is such a simplistic explanation for a people in a time that they could only comprehend God in such limited terms. Are we not aware of the extent of God's creation and the extend of homosexuality that is exhibited in all his animal kingdom? Is not the more fundamental message of the scripture that 'man should not be alone'? Are we not drawn to companionship? Are we not sexual beings and aren't we supposed to express that sexuality as part of our God given nature? To love one another is the image and emulation of God.

           If the analogy worked, you will know that God made some  homo and sexual being and that it really is in His interest and respect for His love that you express that love for others. I will be last to say random acts of faceless sex but certainly we should express our love for each other as God created us. Certainly it is man (the Church) dictating what they say is God's law, not unlike the Pharisees, who said plucking wheat would be wrong.

            The number one law is to love. Love is the most sacred. When the church starts to act as vehemently against pre-marital heterosexual sex as they do about the gay community I may be tempted to give them some listening time. Until that time, their moral authority is nil, lost in haze of child abuse, coverups, obfuscations and forced celibacy.

         

23 One sabbath he was going through the cornfields; and as they made their way his disciples began to pluck heads of grain. ²⁴The Pharisees said to him, ‘Look, why are they doing what is not lawful on the sabbath?’ ²⁵And he said to them, ‘Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need of food? ²⁶He entered the house of God, when Abiathar was high priest, and ate the bread of the Presence, which it is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and he gave some to his companions.’ ²⁷Then he said to them, ‘The sabbath was made for humankind, and not humankind for the sabbath; ²⁸so the Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath.’

Fast

Mark 2:18-22

          I am a big guy. I may carry it well, I may be 'big boned' as my mom would say, but I am a big guy. I like to eat. I appreciate fine food along with the company of good friends. It is no surprise then that when I went to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip I was overcome by the disparity in the cultures. I ate well in the DR and was with good friends, but on a much simpler scale. I began to really appreciate even more the life we have in these United States. I also appreciated the faith and love of the Dominican people even though their poverty is far below even our standards. When I returned home I was reeling with lessons and images, some of which I have yet to fully unpack.

          One of the things I was able to discern right off was the food issue because it plays such a central role in my life. Oddly enough I realized the value of fasting, that ancient tradition that this reading speaks of. Fasting has an ascetic value. While I often clutter my FaceBook page with litanies of what I have eaten, where and all the delicious details, I could use a respite from that lest it become too important in my life. Food of course is crucial to everyone's life but it seems I and many others have elevated to an art form, perhaps even to godlike status. This is perhaps one way fasting can play a key role.

         While we know that we all need food to survive, what do we need to merely survive? What is needed versus what is wanted or desired? Further, as we are all brothers and sisters, what can we do to show solidarity and compassion for those who are not blessed with the abundance we have here in the United States?  If you really want to think about it, fast for a day (in accordance with your medical condition and perhaps with supervision) and while fasting think about the plight of 90% of the planets' population. Fasting may clear your brain a bit. Why is it that we are such a small percentage of the planets population and yet consume so much? An embarrassing amount actually.

            As we approach the Lenten season, now might be a god time to research and think about fasting.  The expression that comes to mind is 'Live simply, so others may simply live'. 

Now John’s disciples and the Pharisees were fasting; and people^* came and said to him, ‘Why do John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?’ Jesus said to them, ‘The wedding-guests cannot fast while the bridegroom is with them, can they? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast. The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast on that day.

‘No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak; otherwise, the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost, and so are the skins; but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins.’

Teachings denied

John 4:27-42

           One of the many things that I love about our Lord that seems to be almost lost on the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church is just who Jesus spent time with and associated with. Even then, as Jesus walked the earth, the 'church hirarchy' (the apostles) are looking down on Jesus (of all people) because he's associating with a woman! Oh yes, and a Samaritan woman at that! What gives? These men in charge are still not getting it.

          Jesus associated and welcomed everyone, all the marginalized. In the case of women, Jesus had women followers. It is a distinct possibility that there were women who bankrolled his preaching. In the case of Martha and Mary, Jesus acknowledges that Mary ( at his feet ) had selected the better portion, learning instead of serving. Certainly we should not forget that it was women who first witnessed the resurrection after the men had denied our Lord and ran. What isn't clear here? Jesus taught in two concrete ways, his preaching (very often a parable) and his actions. They both speak to inclusion.

           That women in the Roman Catholic Church and indeed the world still are fighting for their God given rights and dignity is a sin of enormous magnitude. Yet the Church is often full of deniers. The list is legion from scientific knowledge to souls for indigenous people to women's rights and roles.

           We cannot live with the hypocrisy of denying, especially when it infects so much. For example, we would believe that our bodies are sacred (which is true ) and they are made by God for procreation only (not true), it is a so called natural law. It is arrogance at best to say what God's intentions are with such unyielding finiteness. It is incredulous that they can then  turn around and say that men called to the priesthood requires celibacy. Isn't that against God's natural law? In light of the fact that even Peter was married as an Apostle and and as the first Pope if you will (although that term had not yet been created), required celibacy seems astoundingly hypocritical.

             The issues of women's rights, denying God's will and the knowledge his created world provides reaches into all aspects of life. It is at the root of many, if not all of the Churches evils and wrong heartedness. I have not been wronged as much as women have been but I get a strong hint of it by being gay.

            What do I get from all this? Reflecting (as opposed to ranting) on this I cannot help but realize the message that Jesus gave on many occasions.  Reach out to all is one message for me. Another is that I (we?) need to open ourselves to discussions and conversation with those that we might consider less that we are for some reason because it is not true, all are equal. All are loved by God.

Just then his disciples came. They were astonished that he was speaking with a woman, but no one said, ‘What do you want?’ or, ‘Why are you speaking with her?’ Then the woman left her water-jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, ‘Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah, can he?’ They left the city and were on their way to him.

Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, ‘Rabbi, eat something.’ But he said to them, ‘I have food to eat that you do not know about.’ So the disciples said to one another, ‘Surely no one has brought him something to eat?’ Jesus said to them, ‘My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to complete his work. Do you not say, “Four months more, then comes the harvest”? But I tell you, look around you, and see how the fields are ripe for harvesting. The reaper is already receiving wages and is gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, “One sows and another reaps.” I sent you to reap that for which you did not labour. Others have laboured, and you have entered into their labour.’

Many Samaritans from that city believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I have ever done.’ So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them; and he stayed there for two days. And many more believed because of his word. They said to the woman, ‘It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the Saviour of the world.’

Morning prayer

Ephesians 3:14-21

           It seems like quite a while since I have gotten up for work and found a nice day ahead of me. The days have seemed gloomy and dank. Such is winter I suppose. It does not make me sad but it isn't really enjoyable either. It does not raise my spirit.

          This morning, in spite of the cold I raise the shade to a glorious day. The sky is blue with wisps of clouds, the water outside is that heavenly blue that draws me in and raises my eyes to heaven.

           No moral dilemas, no messages to raise the spirit, no convincing words to help you realize how much God loves you or that your worth is beyond measure. Today is all about praise. It's always a good way to start the day but todays passage reminded me how important it is.

            From every morsel of food, to every thing I have, to the love in my life and the people that grace my life - I say thank you. All the gifts that God grants me are gifts of love from you Lord, that says so simply and yet so loudly, I love you. Everything fits. I am here on this earth, grown from it, part of it, connected to it in every way. All of creation and all that I see is a hint of you Lord, a sign of your love.

            Thank you heavenly father for a new day and another opportunity to love as you have loved me. Thank you for the joy of growth and the awe you inspire in your love and created world.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name. I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen. 

Chaos!

Isaiah 45:18-19

         I've seen postings on Facebook that ask the question "what's going on?" The postings list people who have died or some of the sadder events in the news. Is this chaos? Is this the end times? Jesus clearly stated that not even He knew the day or hour of  'the end', that it was only for the Father to know. As for the end times, the early Apostles and the early church thought they lived in the end times and that it would happen soon, certainly in their lifetime. The church had to make some adjustments to that belief.

           As for the chaos that we seem to recognize at times, it is more often the result of a natural process of life (like death) or the result of some malady mankind has conjured up from their own ways. Either individually, the results of our lies, deceit, murder or something like drunk drivers killing people. Maybe it was  a result of social sin, allowing slavery, allowing poverty, starvation?  Or perhaps disrespecting our mother earth and the resultant reaction ( as in global warming ) with super-storms and massive ice melts.. What I am getting at is that any chaos we seem to see is not of God.  As I stated yesterday though, God will be with us during such times of chaos but it is not from God. I laugh sadly at those religious zealots of the right who would have you believe Sandy impacted the Northeast because of homosexuality or some other equally silly reason.  I find it inconsistent with our loving God that such disasters would be foisted on any area killing people, the innocent and so called guilty alike. A loving God would not be evidenced in such a manner.

             But if not chaos, what?  There are rules of the universe that God created. The more we know, the more it seems we do not know. If humanity does discover a 'God particle' ( as purported in Angels and Demons ), it will only serve to cause more uncertainty as to where  that particle came from. What we may view as chaos is really very orderly, we just may not be smart enough or wise enough to discern it yet.  The intricacies of this world and the diversity are a glimpse at how magnificent God is. It is a hint of his glory that we cannot fully grasp, and never will.

          But know that there is no chaos, less it be man made in some fashion. No matter what, know that God loves you and counts every hair on your head, cherishing you as his beloved son ( or daughter ).

          God, forever a lover of man.

For thus says the Lord,
who created the heavens
   (he is God!),
who formed the earth and made it
   (he established it;
he did not create it a chaos,
   he formed it to be inhabited!):
I am the Lord, and there is no other.
I did not speak in secret,
   in a land of darkness;
I did not say to the offspring of Jacob,
   ‘Seek me in chaos.’
I the Lord speak the truth,
   I declare what is right. 

It's God's will Maria..

Psalm 91:9-16

             I am of fervent conviction that the Lord is with us always and that his strength sustains us in all things. I may seem to say that as if I am blissfully happy (which I am) because nothing bad has ever fallen my way. The fact is a great many things have happened in my life that could be judged traumatic, and sad at best. Witnessing your Mothers attempt at suicide? Discovering your mother after she's had a stroke? Watching your mothers hospitalization and resultant nursing home care for years? (it was no great shake for her either needless to say). How about discovering one's father who's had a heart attack and you try CPR on him in vain. That's been my life. I also of course had the heart wrenching transformation many of us have had trying to come to terms with our sexuality. Coming out gay at 50 isn't a breeze either. I almost sound like Job don't I? 

               I only mention all this to show I am not some pie in the sky, clueless person who looks at every problem or event in life and say "Oh, it's God's will" or "it's all for the best". Serious crap happens and it falls all around. And note, I didn't look at my Dad and say, "it's God's will", I jumped in and started CPR. 

               What makes all things bearable, through all the loneliness, life's traumas and missteps is that God is there by my side. God is there by your side. He doesn't make this stuff happen but he's right along side us (if not carrying us) when it does happen. Think of that great story of the footprints in the sand. 

                Please understand, God is not an life insurance policy. Neither guaranteeing safe passage in this life or even on to the next. But God understands all and God has felt what we feel and God is there like no one else can.

            Trust in God in all things.

            And by the way, whatever has happened in my life that seems bad, it pales in comparison to the joy in my life. That would the subject of a 30 page blog entry. Page after page of joy. 

Because you have made the Lord your refuge,
the Most High your dwelling-place, 

no evil shall befall you,
no scourge come near your tent. 

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder,
the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot. 

Those who love me, I will deliver;
I will protect those who know my name.
When they call to me, I will answer them;
I will be with them in trouble,
I will rescue them and honour them.
With long life I will satisfy them,
   and show them my salvation.

Who's ya leppuh?

Mark 1:40-45

         I was doing some research in the seminary one day about leprosy. In the Jewish tradition, leprosy was not necessarily what we call leprosy today. We can identify the microorganism involved, what strain it is and so forth. The ancients had no such knowledge. Obviously they understood the danger and wished to keep anyone with leprosy at a distance. In their efforts to do so, the term leprosy applied to a variety of dermatological conditions. They included psoriasis, infectious wounds and of course true leprosy. They even expanded the term leprosy to clothing that was 'bad'. A moldy shirt, a stained coat. An animal skin that had not been tanned properly. Leprosy covered a lot of ground.

         Was Jesus then, as God, able to tell which were the real cases of leprosy and which were really the non-infectious variety of condition? I mean, you'd think he'd have to know and that would explain why he was willing to reach out and touch a leper or simply be in close proximity of one. For whatever Jesus knew and when he knew it, I don't think he had that kind of human knowledge. I mean, as God, could he have quoted the type of bacteria that was causing this man's problem? Was he a diagnostician in addition to everything else?

          Of course the answer is really unknown. Jesus could have possessed all knowledge at birth. This is a big theological question for sure, one I will not be entering into here.

          I am quite content to move forward with a basic idea that Jesus simply embraced everyone and that included the dreaded lepers, prostitutes, tax collectors, women in general (who in those days were really mere chattel ) and many other outcasts of society. He embraced , loved and forgave sins boundlessly. In the process he chastised the status quo, condemned the temple elite for their burdensome laws and lack of faith, their lack of purity (of heart).

          Of course you have every reason to assume I am railing against the way the LGBT community is treated, looked down upon and denied rights. We might be the lepers of today. But within that cozy gay LGBT community, what about LGBTQ ? and what about LGBT Q and  I ? Yes "I". The acronym it seems is ever growing and ever embracing. Is it? In the great state of New York we have marriage equality. Does the gay community now abandon the rest of those letters because they have what they wanted? Are we truly a community? As a gay man, am I able to embrace all the other letters of that growing acronym with the same fearlessness, love and sincerity that Jesus embraced everyone with?

           As a gay man who has experienced being the outcast on many levels, I have a calling to appreciate, empathize and embrace others who also feel marginalized, who also feel hopeless, who have been made to feel as if they are an aberration of humanity.

          If I know that God loves me and believe God loves all. If I believe God created each one of us with intention, purpose and love, I must not only help my brothers and sisters and the indeterminate as well, I must reach out embrace and help heal their hurts. I must love as Jesus loved.

   
          

A leper came to him begging him, and kneeling he said to him, ‘If you choose, you can make me clean.’ Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, ‘I do choose. Be made clean!’ Immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean. After sternly warning him he sent him away at once, saying to him, ‘See that you say nothing to anyone; but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing what Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.’ But he went out and began to proclaim it freely, and to spread the word, so that Jesu could no longer go into a town openly, but stayed out in the country; and people came to him from every quarter.

Unfathomable

Isaiah 40:28-31

           If you grew up Catholic or any with any kind of religiosity you have attended countless services and heard just as many homilies, reflections or sermons. How many do you remember? Like a true friend, if you have just one in mind you are lucky (truly blessed). I can still recall one particular homily to this day. It brings to mind this passage.

            A local parish priest had the congregation go through somewhat of a guided imagery exercise. We were to search our mind for what we considered an unforgivable sin. Something that a person could do, the worst thing in fact we could imagine. The point was to got me to realize that it is that sin that I imagined, had I comitted it, Jesus would gladly embrace me and forgive me for. OMG! How could God do that!

             God is the perfect parent. He loves us and never grows weary. His understanding is unsearchable - far beyond even what we could possibly imagine. He knows all, created all, loves all and forgives all.

             Far from the unforgivable sin, we are still capable of some pretty stupid actions. We lie. We make mistakes. We can act selfishly.  Again, far from an unforgivable sin but we need to realize just how much God loves us, embraces us and forgives us. We will never be able to understand it. Never. 

             The kind of infinite love that God offers us is better simply to be accepted. It should not be taken for granted though. While God will not turn his back on us, we certainly can turn our back on him. This is where the concept of sin comes in if you are Catholic. They have it down to an art form.

           Still, the idea here is that God's ways are far above our own, unfathomable. 

           Just know that he loves you unconditionally. That is, no matter what.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
   his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
   and strengthens the powerless.
Even youths will faint and be weary,
   and the young will fall exhausted;
but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
   they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
   they shall walk and not faint.

Against literalism, pro pure hearts.

Psalm 97


Fire goes before him,
   and consumes his adversaries on every side. 

           Where is the truth in this passage from the psalms? Once again I feel compelled to rail against the literalists who believe that the Bible is verbatim the word of God. More than the word and message from God, this book we call holy would be his actual words. It just isn't so! This line from scripture is yet another indication that the books of the bible are written by man to express the relationship, the love affair of a people with God. The texts were written in different times by different people. These people had different visions of God based on their own experiences yet they all indicated a love of God and conveyed a message God wished us to know.

           Is God concerned with adversaries on every side? Wouldn't this seem like more of a human description? It is consistant with what we know of recorded history and the lives of the Hebrew people living a life with kingdoms fighting for control and enemies who to this very day have an interest in their total destruction.  So these words are not the precise words of God but rather of a godly people trying to express and record their history as God's chosen people.

        God's chosen people. Hmmmm. Is this possibly not unlike the phrase "the disciple whom Jesus loved"? It can be taken several ways. Is the disciple (the writer of that particular Gospel) trying to say that Jesus loved him? Isn't it possible that the Israelites knew God loved them and professed that they were God's chosen people when in fact we are ALL God's chosen people? Food for thought.

        But then what can we glean from this psalm?  It once again is trying to tell us pure and contrite hearts. God loves the righteous (not the self righteous). God loves all of us but  he wants us all to have a relationship with him, know our worth and love others.  The 2 great commandments lived out, day in and day out.

         
       

The Lord is king! Let the earth rejoice;
   let the many coastlands be glad!
Clouds and thick darkness are all around him;
   righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
Fire goes before him,
   and consumes his adversaries on every side.
His lightnings light up the world;
   the earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord,
   before the Lord of all the earth. 

The heavens proclaim his righteousness;
   and all the peoples behold his glory.
All worshippers of images are put to shame,
   those who make their boast in worthless idols;
   all gods bow down before him.
Zion hears and is glad,
   and the towns of Judah rejoice,
   because of your judgements, O God.
For you, O Lord, are most high over all the earth;
   you are exalted far above all gods. 

The Lord loves those who hate evil;
   he guards the lives of his faithful;
   he rescues them from the hand of the wicked.
Light dawns for the righteous,
   and joy for the upright in heart.
Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous,
   and give thanks to his holy name!

How do I love thee

Hebrews 1:1-12

            Do you recall your first love? Your first kiss? Your first intimate moment with someone? I would say that that moment, that person is cherished in our hearts forever. It opens up a whole new world of excitement, of living. A new dimension of love. It becomes a possibility for you and for more than you, also for an "us". It is natural and beautiful as any flower or any rainbow. We were not meant to be alone.

          This reading goes to great lengths to express how God feels about his son Jesus, albeit written by a human and from a human perspective. The power of the love of creation is not far removed from our first love. Perhaps more akin to when our own first child is born but the power of love, it's transformity, potential and life are all there.

          God wishes us to have the same feelings as he does, we are after all made in his likeness and image. The feelings of our own firsts of love, is how God feels about us. Our creation is a masterpeice of His. We each are as unique and as grand as an Rembrandt, any Picasso, any Rodan. 

          As God speaks of His son, he speaks about us all. We should not just realize it, we should own it, revel in it, know it to our core in every fiber of our being.

           

           

Long ago God spoke to our ancestors in many and various ways by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by a Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, through whom he also created the worlds. He is the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being, and he sustains all things by his powerful word. When he had made purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.

For to which of the angels did God ever say,
‘You are my Son;
   today I have begotten you’?
Or again,
‘I will be his Father,
   and he will be my Son’?
And again, when he brings the firstborn into the world, he says,
‘Let all God’s angels worship him.’
Of the angels he says,
‘He makes his angels winds,
   and his servants flames of fire.’
But of the Son he says,
‘Your throne, O God, is for ever and ever,
   and the righteous sceptre is the sceptre of your kingdom.
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has anointed you
   with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.’
And,
‘In the beginning, Lord, you founded the earth,
   and the heavens are the work of your hands;
they will perish, but you remain;
   they will all wear out like clothing;
like a cloak you will roll them up,
   and like clothing they will be changed.
But you are the same,
   and your years will never end.’

Sacred Cows

Isaiah 66:1-2,22-23

          During Advent I challenged you to offer something as a gift to God. The problem is, what do you get for the 'man' that literally has everything. This reading seems to drive that point home. Everything in the world, all the things that we claim ownership of are His. What we call our home, mother earth, God can legitimately called his footstool. We should honor and respect all of God's creations which we are entrusted with while we are here.

           There is a line in this passage about building a house for God and that caught my attention. I have been in many fine houses of worship. My husband and I spend many hours walking the streets of Paris in search of such churches. Sacre Coeur, Notre Dame and onto Chartres and beyond. I love the majesty and yes, forgive me, how unga patchke some are. It amazes me that these memorials to faith, these houses of worship were built by hand, that they are so grand.  I could sit in the silence and pray for hours. And I love the chapel of the Benedictine Monks of the Weston Priory. Any tiny church really, any parish church will do for me.This is scared space. Or is it?

          God is trying to tell us that nothing we could build is really worthy of His majesty. Our places of worship may be fine places to worship and say thanks to God. They may be testaments to community, faith and our willingness to give but they are not sacred cows. They are as God might say, simply a building. We get so wrapped up sometime in material things, oddly enough, especially in churches and especially in the Roman Catholic Church.

          As my mind wanders further, is it only physicalities that we consider sacred?  How crucial is it to God if we dip our hands in Holy water as we enter a church? How crucial is it that we profess a formula in church whose words are dilineated into painstaking and excruciating perfection. It would seem to be more of an incantation as it is a profession of faith from the heart.

         This passage from the prophet Isaiah it would seem has not been fulfilled yet. Isaiah is still speaking to us. What is important? What could we possibly give God that is worthy of him?  God seeks only our love, our companionship and a humble and contrite heart.

          

Thus says the Lord:
Heaven is my throne
   and the earth is my footstool;
what is the house that you would build for me,
   and what is my resting-place?
All these things my hand has made,
   and so all these things are mine, 

says the Lord.
But this is the one to whom I will look,
   to the humble and contrite in spirit,
   who trembles at my word. 

Feeling small, feeling grand

Psalm 150

              Several years ago, I found out my spiritual director was going to be directing a retreat in the Canadian Rockies. I had to go.  This would be an opportunity to have someone who knew me pretty intimately, guide me on what I only could imagine would be a magnificently beautiful trip. The build up in my mind was huge and in fact there was no disappointment. The effect of the trip were actually the roots of my coming out.

             On one particular day before morning prayers, I rose and sat outside our cabin with towering mountains and pines all around. There were more mountains in the scenery than sky, although the sky was a blue I had never seen before or since. In that setting I felt as small as a speck of dirt. I felt buried in my surroundings and as small a part of creation as one could be. I was connected to the soil, rocks and mountains around me as if I was home and they were where I had sprung from. I was the dirt around me and the dirt was me. I was at home. It was as if I stood in the middle of the universe, of God's entire creation. I felt that small yet oh so very connected.

          We visited several glaciers on that trip. On one day we actually rode out onto the glacier in some giant bus-like contraption. Again I was overwhelmed with the enormity of the glacier and my minute presence. What struck me there however was the enormity and the force it wielded. There could be no attempts to force the glacier back. Even as it was melting, it moved forcefully forward. Absorbing roads and anything in it's path. It began to occur to me that what God has made cannot be trifled with. There are forces in nature that cannot and should not be tinkered with.  It is unreasonable and unatural to try to make a gay person straight, force a woman to be a man or visa versa. It is wrong to force our human limitations and labels on the diversity of nature that God has created. As much as we like neat and tidy labels and black and white, not everything God has made is so. There is a spectrum (pun intended) of diversity in creation that should be honored and celebrated.

          What I learned as I began to realize I might possibly be gay is that if I indeed was gay, if I was sure of it, I should not fight it.  As sure as the glacier relentlessly exerted it's nature, so was the fact that if was gay, it should be allowed to come out (no pun intended). It would be wrong to suppress it or deny it. I should honor it and celebrate it. I am as great a creation as a glacier. So are you, so is everyone.

          The trick if you will is to discern your own nature. Not such an easy task in a world that likes those labels, that likes black and whites. Horribly difficult in a world where people try and force you into a box of their liking. There seems little respect, awe or recognition of the diversity and majesty of God's creations.

           When religions speak of respecting life, do they respect the diversity of God's creations? Are they willing to embrace it? Are you? Are you willing to embrace yourself?

Praise for God’s Surpassing Greatness

Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
   praise him in his mighty firmament!
Praise him for his mighty deeds;
   praise him according to his surpassing greatness!

Praise him with trumpet sound;
   praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with tambourine and dance;
   praise him with strings and pipe!
Praise him with clanging cymbals;
   praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
Let everything that breathes praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord! 

A biblical gay love story

Psalm 138

           There is a song by Wham! called Turn a different corner. and it's quite true. It says,  "turn a different corner and we never would have met". You just never know. I am sure that's how Jonathan and David felt, a scripture passage from the Hebrew scriptures (1Samuel 20) which I used in our own wedding ceremony. We know that translations vary but one thing is for sure, this was pretty steamy and the love between Jonathan and David was at first sight. I imagine neither was on the prowl, on the DL or cruising. They 'turned that different corner' and there was the love of each others' life. A prayer answered. Not unlike my husband and me.

            This scripture passage doesn't say "thanks for nothing, where's my love God"?  There is genuine love, thanks and praise in what the psalmist has written down, that's when his prayers are answered.

           Many people would lament that they do not have what they want and look forward to the day things will change. Nirvana will be reached when X happens or they finally meet Mr. Right. That seems like the recipe for a long, lonely existence.

            When I began to date, wow, that sounds funny even now. Anyway, I would go out with anyone and enjoyed their company, enjoyed the newness and the revelled in the variety of people I met. I can't help but think that the dating actually was enriching. I learned from it, grew from it and made a few new friends along the way. It was living.

          I was blessed to be able to find the man of my dreams and we are still living in love and thanksgiving.  My point is this, our lives, our journey to wholeness and one's happiness with anyone always begins with self , God and moving forward. It's not waiting for something to happen. It's moving forward, enjoying the journey and seeing where you go. If you decide where you are going it's a bit like playing God. And because we are not God, the goal we reach, whatever it is, will never be fully realized and we will be disappointed in some way.

           Better we  should love freely, give thanks to God and enjoy the journey. You never know when you will turn a different corner and meet that someone who completes you.

            

I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;
   before the gods I sing your praise;
I bow down towards your holy temple
   and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness;
   for you have exalted your name and your word
   above everything.
On the day I called, you answered me,
   you increased my strength of soul.

Harden not your hearts

Mark 6:45-52

          I was watching part of a clip on the net today. I hesitate to call it an interaction, it was more of a rant by Alex Jones appearing on the Piers Morgan's show. Even a rant isn't the proper word, it's difficult to describe. I could use words like rant and continue to virulent, rude, hostile, ignorant, opinionated and on and on. Oddly enough, that's not my point. My point is the blindness of the guest. There was no thought, no discussion, no intelligence really. It was a heavy artillery verbal assault. Mr. Jones could have been in a closet screaming to no one. He was in his own world.

         Are we like that too? Perhaps not as virulent. Perhaps not as opinionated. But are there things in our life that we fail to see? As time passes since I have come out I am so totally amazed that I did not see that I was gay. The signs were all there, I mean really!  I was blind to myself. Moving on, are our hearts hardened to one person or another, one group or another, one cause or another? Is it that we just don't listen? Are our hearts really hardened?  I often say that people like that died years ago and that their bodies just haven't caught  on. It is a sad state of affairs.

          Yesterday I wrote about a change of heart, a conversion if you will. It involves openess and a willingness to listen. There was virtually no listening by Mr. Jones. But we all have our own blind spots so before I simply rant about him I should probably find a centering prayer and pray that I myself not let my own heart be hardened.

          Empathy and listening is key. Harden not your hearts

Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After saying farewell to them, he went up on the mountain to pray.

When evening came, the boat was out on the lake, and he was alone on the land. When he saw that they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind, he came towards them early in the morning, walking on the lake. He intended to pass them by. But when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought it was a ghost and cried out; for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’ Then he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.

Loaves and fishes revisited

Mark 6:30-44

          There is a miracle in this passage that is not always mentioned for fear that it might minimize the effect of the true multiplication of loaves and fishes. It is no different than any other of the miracles that our Lord chose to perform on our behalf or on behalf of some poor sick yet faithful person.

          As with any scripture passage, it always helps to understand the context, history, geography, style of writing and the myriad practical things that influence the writer and the reader. Perhaps more importantly, the reader. The life of this ancient civilization is based on a nomadic people. Wandering, forced into slavery, living in hostile terrain and territory. These kinds of facts leave clues. For example food purity rituals for a people living in the sandy desert would seem like a no brainer so they became laws.  It was simply practical.

          In a hostile enviornment you would tend to hold onto every bit of food you had, especially when you did not know perhaps where or when your next meal was coming from. It is in this context that we see yet another miracle unfold in the loaves and the fishes. Is it perhaps possible that a large group of people who might necessarily be strongly attached to their food supply could be convinced to share it with everyone else?  This would leave them quite vulnerable in that hostile enviornment in which they lived. And yet this could easily be the miracle, a change of heart. A willingness to put everyone else first. The needs of all, greater than the needs of the one (the ones with the food).

           The change of heart can be the biggest and most profound miracle. Common literature, movies of every variety tell of changed hearts. Is there any better than Dickens' A Christmas Carol?  Are you aware of one of the gay community's staunches enemies with regard to marriage equality recently made a 180 degree turn and now supports marriage equality? A change of heart is one of the biggest miracles we can encounter and one that we can experience ourself.

              When an angel of the Lord told the wise men to return to their home via another route do we realize the implications? Once we meet Jesus (as a babe or otherwise), our hearts are forever changed and we can never go on living the same way. We proceed in life via another route.

               A miracle, thee miracle, of our own changed hearts comes from meeting Jesus in a personal way and seeing that he is in fact in all those around us. When we put others first, we discover a new loving heart  within us. Again, the miracle of the changed heart - our own.

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, ‘Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. When it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is now very late; send them away so that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy something for themselves to eat.’ But he answered them, ‘You give them something to eat.’ They said to him, ‘Are we to go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread, and give it to them to eat?’ And he said to them, ‘How many loaves have you? Go and see.’ When they had found out, they said, ‘Five, and two fish.’ Then he ordered them to get all the people to sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and of fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people; and he divided the two fish among them all. And all ate and were filled; and they took up twelve baskets full of broken pieces and of the fish. Those who had eaten the loaves numbered five thousand men.