Marian beliefs, motherly dishonor?

     If this entry ends abruptly, you may assume it was from a bolt of lightening. One of the things that I am a stickler for is purity of faith. It's not that my beliefs are so well refined, not at all.  But there is a simplicity of faith in Jesus that I think anyone can see. I really can go off on a tear when someone starts to add so much more to it - made up stuff,  rationalized stuff, theoretical stuff that now contains the imprimatur of "tradition".

     It's somewhat shocking to know how much of this type of stuff rolls around as doctrines of some Christian faiths. Jesus himself was a rebel, an arch enemy of so much of the same stuff the Pharisees and other Jewish sects had promulgated over time.  One case in point might be "Limbo".  I have slightly higher hopes now that that 'place' has been officially abolished by the Roman Church. Limbo was one of those theoretical places based on some kind of logic (at that time) which eventually had that imprimatur of tradition.  My hopes were raised when that church officially got rid of it. A loving God does not have a limbo, holding dead babies at a distance where they can 'be in God's presence' but not free of original sin so that they couldn't go to heaven. Such balderdash, garbage. 

      So what else do I target. At the risk of that  bolt of lightening, Mary the mother of Jesus.  This is a woman I heartily admire and respect. Her faith was exemplary. For a young betrothed girl to say yes to God in carrying Jesus (as basically an unwed mother) was amazing. Such faith, faith that could easily have landed her on the receiving end of a good old fashion stoning.  A role model and a model of faith. Elevated to the level of Jesus? No. Assumed into heaven bodily? No.  I know I could be on the receiving end of chastisements, calls of heretic or simply evil.  As beautiful and faithful as Mary was , she does not deserve to displace her son in any way. I am sure Jesus loved her immensely and that he ached when he knew he was saying good bye to her in this world but she is not a part of the trinity. Shall I go on?

       What I have always found as almost despicable is the way dogmas are created from some form of theologizing or some circular logic and then the faithful, through "submission of will" are expected to believe it. In fact, told they are committing a mortal sin or not in communion with the church if they do not tow the party line of ignorance.

        So much for no more rants. 

        The faith that Jesus gave us is grounded in Judaism and was synthesized to two great commandments. What more do we need of personal acts of piety and legions of religious anachronisms.  Many things can enrich faith but simplicity is power and to love is all that matters.

1 Corinthians 15:50

What I am saying, brothers and sisters, is this: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.

Pre-occupations

     On this quaint little island of ours we seem to abound in culinary delights.  So many varieties of food with so many delicious notes and depths of flavor. Of course you'd have to try the food to even have a chance of experiencing any of the delights. The key is a willingness, an open heart, an open mind, an open mouth!

      The disciples traveling to Emmaus seemed a bit self absorbed talking with each other about all these things that had happened. It was all overwhelming to be sure. I whirlwind of activity from the time Jesus came into Jerusalem until the time Jesus was crucified and was risen.  I am sure all the events needed some unpacking and that's what these disciples seemed to be at.

        There are so many things in life that we become overly concerned with, often to the detriment of everyone around us and even ourself.  The rationalizations we may use may seem honest and decent with intent.

        On retreat, Brother Robert gave a talk in which he spoke of the way things are in relation to holy days and perhaps any event.  There is the way we can do things, the way we 'have to' do things and perhaps the best, the simplest form which often is the most powerful and undiluted.  Perhaps with good intentions we get caught in rules and rubrics, preferences for personal acts of piety and  an insistence that things must be done 'just this way'!  Often this kind of 'stuff' going on distracts and detracts from the essence of the affair. We fail to see the real picture and the importance of what is being celebrated or going on.

         Do you think that the disciples were so concerned with reviewing the events that they could not see the reality of Jesus standing with them? walking with them? talking with them?   I wonder how many times we are concerned with something, almost anything really, that prevents us from seeing something much more important. Perhaps it's a homeless person standing feet from us that we seemingly ignore. Perhaps it's a coworker that really could benefit from your presence. How about a bullied teenager in pain that we don't even notice because we are too busy with our own problems. The examples are legion.  I don't think we realize the impact we have on peoples lives or the things we miss by not being present to them because we are pre-occupied.

       Just like fine food though, we have to be willing to try it. Try divesting yourself of petty concerns so that you can have a chance to really experience life. See what is really important., the depth of flavor of life! That's as true for seeing people as it is for the sights and sounds of God's magnificaent creations. One of the things I love about cycling around here is you notice the smells and the sounds and you see wildlife you don't even notice whizzing by in a car. 

        Perhaps the phrase should be modified: open heart, an open mind,  closed mouth, open ears!

      

Luke 24:13-35  

That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem,  and talking with each other about all these things that had happened.  While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them.  But their eyes were kept from recognizing him.  And he said to them, "What is this conversation which you are holding with each other as you walk?" And they stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, "Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?"  And he said to them, "What things?" And they said to him, "Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God  and all the people,  and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him.  But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since this happened. Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning  and did not find his body; and they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive.  Some of those who were with us went to the tomb, and found it just as the women had said; but him they did not see."  And he said to them, "O foolish men, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!  Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?"  And beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.

So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He appeared to be going further,  but they constrained him, saying, "Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent." So he went in to stay with them.  When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to them.  And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; and he vanished out of their sight.  They said to each other, "Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?" And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven gathered together and those who were with them, who said, "The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!" Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Snakes and Poison

      Picture it, Jerusalem, 33AD. Jesus died and rose and has reappeared to his disciples. In the reading today from Mark, these words are attributed to Jesus 'And these signs will accompany those who believe: by using my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes in their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.’

      I am not going to try any one of those things as a way of demonstrating my faith. Perhaps we could start with something a bit smaller. In fact, unless we are incredibly gifted, blessed, unique or outright crazy, I think we should stick with smaller displays for witnessing our faith.

      Day 3@ after Easter Sunday.  Is there a  noticeable difference in us? A pep in our step? a special appreciation evidenced in our attitude?  I went to St. Bart's in New York City for Easter Sunday service.  I have to say I was completely overcome, on the verge of joyful tears.  After retreat and outpouring of love from my husband, I was ripe for full appreciation. And then I was back to work at 6am this morning. Same 'ol , same 'ol.  Shouldn't there be some change in me?

      I'm  not sure how this would work if everyone did it but here goes. How about evidencing our faith in perhaps the most subtle and simplest of ways. Little acts of kindness to everyone all day long. That might be a bit more challenging on the roads or when dealing with bureaucracy we might encounter but try we must if we are called as believers. Sometimes we look at grand gestures or major tasks to move mountains when all we need do is take one small shovelful and keep it going. 

       Instead of showing someone how we can swallow poison and survive or begin to handle snakes, how about a smile, holding a door, working alongside someone we may not feel connected to. How about standing up for an 'outsider'?  I might even goes so far as to say activate yourself politically to help your fellow man.  We are called with unique gifts, how about we show them off ( subtly ) in appreciation and love?

Scriptural contradictions.

     I wound up reading two passages today that seemed to contradict each other in many ways. Oddly, I am looking at America politics to help solve my problem.

    When a candidate is campaigning and presents him/her self before a group they are well advised to convey some anecdote that will make them feel comfortable or aligned with the candidate. This helps engender a feeling of camaraderie.  For example if I were campaigning to a Jewish group, I might slip in something about my last trip to Israel and my visit to the wailing wall. Or I might mention attendance at a primarily Jewish function. If I was speaking before the HRC I might note legislation I sponsored ( and hopefully passed! ) that promotes gender equality or such.

      When the Apostles were spreading the Good News and when Gospels were being written, they were written in many instances for specific audiences. The appealed to groups with stories they would understand and that might be familiar to them. The 'letters' often spoke of specific problems that were to be addressed and mention people that would endear the writer to the recipient. Seems almost political but we are all that way and perhaps always have been. We  mention mutual friends we speak of common causes. We do not show up at a JDL rally wearing a KKK outfit.

      So I am presented with several scriptural passages that seem to contradict each other. If not literally, then in spirit. One is Jesus ( almost irrationally ) expecting to find figs on a fig tree out of season. Jesus condemns the fig tree. Wow! Second, Jesus enters the temple and sees money changers working feverishly at their business. Jesus becomes insensed and overturns the tables and ejects the moneychangers from 'his father's house'. In another example I thought of, Jesus is asked how many times we should forgive, up to seven times? Jesus replies not up to seven times but seventy times seven. IN other words, essentially always and forever. Three competing pictures. Some of us might wish Jesus return and like ejecting the moneychangers, act in similar fashion to some in the church who seem to be more Pharisee-like that followers of Christ but I digress.

        My vision and message of Christ is one of total love, inclusion and forgiveness. It is not an angry and condemning fig tree killer. It seems quite plausible he'd get angry over misuse of His father's house.  We then need to recall that when we cherry pick passages to support our anger, cause or translation of God's intent, we need to insert the human aspect of scriptural writing. We need to note who the Scripture was written by, who it was written to, what it was written for, when it was written and why. Just like a good news story. The answers can be quite telling.

       As we may feel touched by the incredible love Jesus has towards us as witnessed by His dying on a cross for us, perhaps we feel we'd lie to read more scripture. I love nothing more that delving into the Good Book. As we do so, remember that it is a spiritual document, an inspired book but also a book written by humans.  There are magnificent messages, hidden treasures and it all is enriched by scholarly knowledge, the who what when where and why of any reporting.

      On another day we'l look at translation issues.

       

Easter: Son-rise discovery

      We all have heard or seen stories of an unlikely adoption of an animal by a totally different animal mother or family. The boy raised by wolves is a similar story. I am sure you could find some cute, heart warming videos on FaceBook to watch. It just seems so amazing. Does the adoptee realize what he truly is?

     Well today is pretty amazing to say the least. Queue in the nice gaggle of Jewish women heading to the tomb who are the true first witnesses to the Ressurection. If this were a video on FaceBook we'd realize the enormity of the event with some Tom of Finland type guy cast as Jesus rising from the tomb conquering death and showing us the magnificence of our human Savior reclaiming his total Divinity.

      Then the events of today start to truly get unpacked. There will be millennia of theorizing, theological treatises, and discussion about the different meanings to Christ dying for us and His Ressurection.  Perhaps one of the biggest for me is the simple act of putting a mirror to all of us. Perhaps this event in human history more than any other gives us the perspective to see that we are more than carnivorous animals fighting for food and mates on some dusty plain like a pack of wild hyenas.

     Jesus' life, death and Ressurection shows us that we have divinity within us. We catch a glimpse of our divinity, who we are and where we are headed.  We can see the glorious nature of change and possibility for all of us as humans. We see our potential for love realized in Jesus.

     A Priest friend is giving an Easter sermon about butterflies. He'll tell of a moth that surrounds itself in a cocoon not unlike what we do as humans. Father will speak of the struggle and hardship the moth will undertake to engage and emerge as a magnificent butterfly. The struggle is key as it is with us.  Does the moth know it's potential? Can the moth see what is in 'the other side of the cocoon'?

      Sometimes we struggle in life , sometimes a great deal, probably never what Jesus suffered but it may feel that way. If this glorious Easter morning shows us anything, we'll leave the theologizing to others, we can see a new way to live from Jesus, a new way to love from Jesus, a new way to die from Jesus.  But most importantly we realize we are children of God, magnificent butterfly-like children of God. We now can see our true and glorious nature and it is awe inspiring, as bright as a beautiful sunrise.

    Isn't it a magnificent and beautiful Son rise for all of us?

Lenten journey: what happened here?

     After all my talk of betrayal, suffering, growth, death, and the roller coaster ride Jesus had us on, now he has gone and died. In a few calamitous days he was betrayed, denied and crucified and now it's over.  WHAT HAPPENED????

      Is that all there is? The Apostles ( and us? ) must have pondered this question, is that all there is? Such great talk, such wonderful news, miracles even ....and now?  was it all for nothing?
What the hell happened? Now He is gone.

       Today is waiting. Not unlike a loved one who dies today, we sit around and wait, mope, sit around shocked and ask, what will we do now? How will we put the pieces together and move on?

       Today we will have to go on. Perhaps we'll try to forget what happened and try to go on as usual.

       Today is waiting.

Lenten journey: lifting the veil

     Today is God Friday, seems like an oxymoron. On this Friday , so long ago, Christ was put through tortures that eventually led to his being nailed to the cross, then he died an excruciatingly painful death. On face value, what's so good about it?

     Of course we know , revel and give thanks that God gave us his only Son and that he ( Jesus ) was willing to die for us. Actually I always note that if YOU were the only person alive, Jesus would still have died just for YOU. You are loved and cherished that much. We know that he died for our sins. Is that all we know?

     Was this some singular act that allows us to go forth confidently, self righteously and arrogantly forward knowing "we are saved" or "we are forgiven"?  Jesus' death is so much more than that. The symbolism of the veil being torn ends a whole episode of humanity. There is no longer a veil between God and us. Jesus' death is also our symbolic death to how we used to view God and 

ourselves. Jesus' death becomes as current as right now for us. We no longer worship God from afar with sacrifices of slaughtered animals. We are now empowered to sacrifice the way used to live as humans. We are actively called on a day to day, minute by minute and  up to the second mission of love. No longer killing others or ourselves, literally or figuratively. We are called to a whole new way of life embracing the Godliness and holiness within us. Wow. Not some simple act of redemption.

      In today's fix it and forget it society, we are called to be all that we can be. And yes, we are saved. And yes, we are forgiven. But by Jesus' death and resurrection we are called to live infinitely better lives.

      

Lenten journey: communal worship

      Yesterday I arrived at a Benedictine monastery for a few days during this Holy Week. I am still following my retreat leader and as such I was immediately able to unpack a few wonderful gifts that I'd like to write about. Here's one.

      Being here with a couple dozen people I immediately realized the importance of community. While I am here alone with other people on their own retreats, their presence is clearly felt. They are feeding me in a most beneficial spiritual way beside the most excellent food the monks supply us.
I know people that say they don't need to go to church to be holy and in some ways that is true. These people may be disillusioned with organized religion for one reason or another , perhaps understandably so. Depending on what you are choosing to believe and make your faith however, communal worship is essential. Whatever common history we share it is reinforced and kept alive in communal worship. To believe otherwise means the person is deluded and the faith will become horribly diluted.

      Would we get the richness and power of Jesus washing his Apostles feet if we did not relive that exquisite moment of love and service? If we simply read the account, would we understand what a powerful image that is?  Jesus knelt and washed the dirtiest part of his apostles, the smelly feet covered in grime from days of trudging along dusty roads in open sandals. What an example of service and submission!

      Our faith, what Jesus taught and what we believe is all outward centered to others. Loving yourself is of course essential but we need to love others to practice our faith, to love others as we love God. You can't do that at home in your living room alone even if we do acknowledge family as our domestic church. We need worship together, teaching together, loving together and learning together.

      If we believe what we read as Christians, in the last supper, that Passover meal, we are commanded to do this in memory of him.  If we think simply chowing down at Panera on bread will suffice, I am a very holy man . I love bread!  But that is not communal worship and it is not a Sacramental offering ( capital S ).  During this week especially we are called to come together, to bring our collective memory alive, to grasp fully what is we believe and what it is Jesus has done for us and continues to do for us.

     

Lenten journey: whudduya know?

     The discussion at hand is what did Jesus know and when did he know it? Heavy stuff to banter about and guaranteed to have strong opinions on both sides. Did he know he was the Word when he was a teenager?* I think it may be less important what details Jesus may or may not have known. He knew that he was the son of man, the son of God.

      As I said the other day, I came out at about 50 years old. Can you imagine?! That is, I didn't come to realize I was gay until that time. Sure I had clues and in retrospect, it was obvious. I feel a bit stupid. Still, all my life I had clues. For example, I could always feel a connection to the marginalized of society.  In innate social conscience or perhaps it was simply that in my subconscious I knew I too was different. Some people surely would have put the pieces together long before 50.  I once consulted a counselor over my clerical / gay situation and he referred to it as the 'unspoken known'.  That is is perhaps why when I told my children, one of them said, 'it's about time'.

       It is amazing to me the things we know but never speak out loud. There are things that seem ingrained in us humans not unlike my totally indoor cat who knows instinctively that he wants to 'play' with the birds he sees outside.  As humans have instinctive feelings against murder and pain. We also have a natural tendency to seek the creator, our God. We don't have to speak  about it but we know.

       I have an elderly friend who was a companion to another woman for many, many years. Neither had ever married. I suspect , no, they were a couple, perhaps a "Boston marriage". She might be distraught and insulted if I asked if she was a lesbian but every aspect of their lives together points to a committed, loving relationship. Sex does not necessarily have to be a part of it even if I'd argue it would have been all the richer a relationship.

       There are so many things we don't know, maybe we know on an instinctive level or we simply cannot comprehend. The truth is it is not that important as long as our we know are foundation. This week, today, is a great time to connect with our humanity and our intimate connection to our divinity ( small d, we may be godlike but we are not gods ).  We are beloved children of God. Whatever else Jesus knew or did not know, he knew he was the beloved son. God was proud of his son and the son placed all his trust in the Father. It was no matter what he knew was going to happen, suspected what was going to happen or even if he had no clue what was about to befall him. He lived and died in faith and in total love.

       WE can argue about any topic at all, religious or secular and get our blood all boiled up but in truth all that matters is our love.

* fun reading: The Gospel According to Biff

Lenten journey: Belly punch

      As a man who lived a straight life for some 50 years the mere thought that I might be gay was quite unsettling. I had invested everything in my life. I had given myself freely and completely in so many ways. Marriage, children, church, friends, family, coworkers, classmates and the list goes on.  The prospect of losing any or all of that by announcing that I might be gay was earth shattering. I was confused and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  The prospect of realizing I am gay gave me an intimate appreciation for those who see life with no good alternatives. I understand now how people contemplate suicide even though I know it is absolutely the worst possible answer to any problem. Have I painted a graphic enough picture? Let's revisit that later though.

     Many of us 'invest' in things.  Perhaps we don't really see it in these same terms as the stock market but we invest in life. We do as I did, we open our hearts to family and friends. We lay bare our soul to our spouse and share our most intimate of feelings, thoughts and actions.  We work arduously for organizations that we deem are doing good works and we are zealous in our support of our church that is the face of all we believe and trust in.

       The portrait of Jesus this week is painted with his good friends, his family and his own heavenly Father. He lives with these people, undoubtedly laughs and drinks with these people.  I would love to have heard one of our Lord's campfire jokes. He lived, rested and trusted .  It seems Jesus had invested well. But Jesus like many of us would be betrayed. We may never know the level of betrayal Jesus faced and not just by Judas.  That's the obvious one.  How about the denial by his number one guy, his most trusted, Peter? How about the people who cheered him on Palm Sunday as he entered Jerusalem only to be found screaming "Crucify Him!" just a few days later. His own people in every way. As a human on the cross I am sure his betrayal seemed that it would make his heart explode.  We may have trouble imagining that someone would willingly be nailed to a cross and die for us. That seems a bit unreal.  Movies have tried to capture the gruesomeness of it. The reality still seems far removed. Betrayal we know.

       In living fully, we get an extremely intimate taste of life and betrayal. The things and people we have invested in turning around to bite us squarely on the ass.  How difficult it is when you have taken care of yourself your entire life and wind up a pawn in a game of cancer. Your own body betrays you. Life betrays you.  Friends betray you, spouses can betray you.  You can work diligently for the church and find that they have been guilty of heinous sins and have even tried to cover it up. That too is heart aching betrayal.  Betrayal runs deep all around us. Can we imagine now how Jesus was feeling?

     The thing about betrayal though is it leads in two directions. One, where your heart almost literally does explode. You give up. If you physically die ( like you might with cancer ) you can also die emotionally. Betrayal can take you on that course.  But in the betrayal, in the laying your soul and heart bare, another course is possible. For Jesus it was to rise in glory. For us too, we can rise in glory and the ways in which we do so are as mysterious as the betrayal that comes out of no where.

      Lets' go back to me for a moment. So at 50 I came our as gay. Coming out opened me up to anyone who wished to simply say adios! or to condemn me and say I was going to hell. Fortunately, gracefully, thankfully, most of my family have embraced me. Still there are some who will have nothing to do with me.  I am still the same person too. For the betrayal of those who cannot see that I am the same loving faithful person of service there are others that have picked me up. In my betrayal I have found people that are truly loving faithful people that are not posers.  I am not sour. I have chosen the path of faith and love.

      What betrayals have you experienced in life? Can you feel what Jesus must have felt? Can you see that betrayal is not the end but an opportunity to love and grow?

Lenten journey: splinter group

    Jesus was Jewish. I know many Christian who really don't like to acknowledge that.  In fact one of the first church 'councils', perhaps the council of Jerusalem, fielded quite vocal arguments for and against why a person becoming a  Christin might have to convert to Judaism first.  The term "Christian" had not been coined yet and the early church was looked at as a sect of Judaism more than anything else. All the Apostles were Jewish as well. It is all so amusing then when people or groups blame the Jews for killing Jesus. Jesus himself was a Jew.

     Had we never separated from Judaism we might have a broader and more inclusive picture of the world, history and God.  As it is, Christians often see Hebrew Scriptures ( 'The Old Testament' ) as having little connection to Jesus. Had we not separated we'd see a definite connection. As in todays' passages, we see the prophets speaking about Jesus long before the incarnation. Hebrew scripture and Christian scripture dovetail nicely in many respects.  You'd see just how much of our Christian beliefs, practices and worship clearly are heavily influenced by our common history.

     What is the point though besides how much we lose by intentionally disregarding Judaism or blaming them for 'killing Jesus'? God in his magnificent wisdom and beauty chooses to reveal himself in stages or in pieces that we hopefully can understand.  Mentioning neutrons, protons and electrons were far beyond the comprehension of man 4000 years ago. The big bang would have been a big bust. God first revealed the fundamentals. That is, it is He who created the world and then gave man a rudimentary story to explain it. Now we know considerably more, but still God is behind the big bang and we are now drawn deeper into seeking our creator.

      God revealed different things to different peoples. In love and cooperation and understanding we can paint a magnificent mosaic of God not tainted by the singular vision of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism or of the Muslim faith.

      If the splinter group of Christianity shows us anything more than the need for cooperation, understanding and most of all love, let it be. Jesus became incarnate, lived as a human and died for us as a human so we could understand so much more, live much more fruitfully and meaningful lives.  Appreciating each other and our respective visions and histories makes us all the richer and closer still to God.

Lenten journey: Palm Sunday

       To so many of us the goal in life is to make something of yourself.  Many of us were told explicitly or implicitly that you need to really work hard to make something of yourself. Palm Sunday is a repudiation of everything that those ideals stand for. It begins to answer the question of what is the meaning of life and what is success. (with Easter Sunday being the whole answer )

      I know you've heard of a mid-life crisis. It's usually focused towards men but it could easily be a woman, especially today. Men buy into the notion that you settle down, have kids, work hard and all of life will lay out like a golden carpet before you. Many men however work hard, long days and get to a point, oh say, around 50 to 55 and realize the whole idea is simply a mirage. They realize they are not really happy after having jumped through all the hoops. They search for meaning and sometimes they try to find it with another (an affair), a racy sports car, divorce and starting all over again.  In any event many never really find that seemingly elusive goal, happiness and fulfillment.

      The truth of the matter is that happiness never was in all the things. Happiness is actually not in accumulating things but divesting of them. Things are distractions to the happiness deep inside. Jesus had been preaching it, telling everyone, showing everyone the power of the word and now he is coming to Jerusalem to confront his Madison avenue, the temple elite, the power brokers who are fully invested in stuff, things, rules and all sorts of rubrics.

      I once had a heavy portfolio of stuff when I was in my 30's and 40's. I actively sought God my whole life, probably because I am gay, but it wasn't until mid life that I came to some great epiphanies myself.

       I had volunteered in the Dominican Republic twice when I was about 48 years old.  I was not a volunteer footman at Punta Cana. I lived and worked in the poorest of the poor areas, mountain villages bordering Haiti. I think the plan was to have us see what true happiness and fulfillment was and it was a success. These were the poorest of the poor.  Their material poverty was far below the poverty seen in the United States. Yet these people were happy, generous and loving and deeply faithful.  What a life altering experience. It made you appreciate what we do have and perhaps even embarrassed at what we do have.

          Jesus coming to Jerusalem are the final scene's of Jesus trying desperately to show us that life is about loving.  We should know our own worth and that isn't in things. Jesus already knows he will not be successful with this crowd. Their hearts are too hard, their power too entrenched, they have too much invested in the way things are to give it all up. Jesus will offer his life for us so that we can see the power of his message, the power of his offer, his willingness to die for us.

           You may have know first hand what death is like from a loved one, a friend, a family member. Saying goodbye is never easy. This week we will replay that last week Jesus spent on earth with us and we know the outcome. The outcome is so powerful that we will be drawn again into the maelstrom of agony, tears, and suffering. But we have to say good bye if we are to discover what is truly important and maybe we will find our life on the other side of Easter. Lets pray this week.

       

Lenten journey: the dispersed people of God

     The passages today mention a dispersed people of God, becoming one nation and no more division.  I know that many great people have had this vision and perhaps can see God's intent or a vision of it.  The vision goes back as far as Hebrew scriptures and continues into this century with things such as the League of Nations, the United Nations. We are after all, all on the same ride, living on this globe hurtling through space. Brothers and sisters, one and all.

       There are people who see the earth from space and see all sorts of divisions and perhaps see a board game like Risk! Still others want to make their quadrant or section perfection at the expense of others.  In fact some might argue that the reason their parcel is not as good as it could be is the 'others'. As long as the vision of unity has been around, so is the concept of the scapegoat, the 'others' that are responsible for the mess. Everything would be good if it wasn't for 'them'

       Who is the 'them'?  I am sure you could pour through history books to find out. I am sure each age and each region has had one. The blaming and the scapegoating is SOP. This is what pogroms are made of.  This is what the crusades were made of. This is what hatred is made of, be it blacks, gays or countless illegal immigrants.  Lost in the hype and hatred is the two great commandments, sacrificing faith for myopic views that keep God on the periphery.

        Today the hatred of 'them' is now a presidential candidate speaking fowl of everyone from woman, to gays, to Jews, to blacks, to anyone that is not some archaic vision of a waspy America. It is all so frightening. Ignorance is frightening.

         Here's a concept for Lent, give up hatred and the notion that we own America. Yes, America, born of Immigrants with lady Liberty standing guard and trying to proclaim freedom and inclusiveness above those shouts of hatred.  Here's another concept for Lent, let it be the birth of new life. Let it be respectful of the sacrifice Jesus made for all of us.  Jesus did not die for the few, he submitted to every single person who has value and worth in hiseyes.  How can we claim to respect or believe Jesus message and offer of new life if we behave like selfish, scapegoating children?

Lenten journey : flaws and foibles

     I am aware of my attempts to be whole and holy. I do try. I do not always succeed. Perhaps I rarely succeed? Interesting question and one that I am dwelling on after reading today's passage from Jeremiah.

     The reading from Jeremiah doesn't really speak too highly of the man. He is sinking to the same level as those who 'are his friends who happen to be waiting for any of his mistakes'. Jeremiah's friends that say 'perhaps he will trap himself with his won words'. It certainly doesn't seem like the kind of friends that I'd want. I certainly don't want to go half cocked thinking how wonderful I am for trying so hard, for things I may have done or may have not done for that matter. But in the latter, I am sinking to a low that Jeremeiah sank into. Jeremiah eventually starts to pray that God will wreak havoc on them with "unforgettable disgrace" and lastly, Jeremiah prays to watch as it all unfolds. Who is better or worse in this biblical scenario?

      And yet I play up my attributes and play down my faults. Perhaps on some level I even find some superiority in things I am good at and that others seem to fail at. I know I don't do it intentionally but I recognize it may not prevent me from actually doing it on occasion. How often do we build ourselves up by diminishing others or simply pointing out their flaws and foibles?

      And so I am wondering about what makes me holy and what makes Jeremiah holy. I guess I have this unpsoken beleif that even though some wretched things are done in the Bible in the name of God, that all those people are actually very holy. I mean, they made it into the Bible !

        I am sure no one will be reading my faith journey 3000 years from now. I have to focus on the here and now and how I am trying to live out my faith just as you do. But here's the catch, I am far from perfect just as it seems Jeremiah was not perfect. Am I less holy if I fall into some of the same behavior patters that Jeremiah did? Do I want to see it when someone gets their just reward? Do I think some people are out to get me or that I am better than they are?

       Finally, if I can recognize my imperfections, my mistakes and failures, can I recognize that and still forgive myself? Can I see those faults and still know that "I AM" a holy being loved by God, perhaps in spite of my  mistakes? Can we do that, can we see our faults and still love ourselves?

Lenten journey: true happiness, love, pride & beauty

     Do you remember when you were very young. There might have been a young boy who was teasing a pretty young girl? It is quite apparent that the boy is smitten. He probably is not sure about himself and the only way of expressing his immature thoughts and feelings is to tease the object of his affections.

    You might come across a relatively similar case today with  someone who acts out in a totally homophobic way. It's been seen with many many people, with clergy and politicians and you begin to wonder if they protest just a bit too much. Sure enough, someone winds up outing the individual or photos wind up on the Internet showing the individual caught in some tawdry affair. Of course all while they preach the highest ( straight ) morals from a pulpit or a legislative chamber ).

      We are so immature at times both as individuals and as humans. We often have great difficulty dealing with things we don't understand. A large part of the problem is our focus. We tend to focus on the "me". What brings happiness? How do we find wholeness, indeed holiness?

       In today's Gospel from John, who often seems to speak in riddles or on some much higher plain, Jesus says ‘If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing'.  It might seem a paradox but when we think it's all about me, we are puffing ourselves up with nothing of real value. Things we use to puff ourselves up? Big car, new house, 'success' of our kids, money, career, size of our....bank accounts. It is all for nothing really. None of that matters when someone dies or you discover you have cancer. Ask the kid who literally has had to give up everything to acknowledge that they are gay and they'll tell you what is truly important. It is all about being yourself but not the me centered person that society seems to promote.

     God is calling us into a relationship and that relationship is a mirror held up that shows just how wonderful we truly are. The magnificence of humanity though is not in things but in the actual humanity that God created. It is our essence,  a knowledge that gives us real and lasting beauty, forever beauty. You catch a glimpse of this when you see someone outwardly focused. They are sure of themselves only in so far as their inner strength comes from some hidden source that shines through.  That's source is God. It is the " I AM" of holy scripture, of Moses and Jesus.

      When we focus on God and the innate beauty God gives us and let it be focused on humanity, on others, we see a beauty that Madison avenue can never match and never offer.We see purity of intent, calmness with self.  God calls us to relationship, covenant or whatever you want to call it. It is relationship that is freely offered that we can not be proud because we earned by doing anything.

       Freely offered to be freely accepted.   What gives true happiness, love, pride and beauty.

Lenten journey: It's Obama's fault.

     Life would be so incredibly funny at times if it weren't all so sad.  Today's readings seem to all point to stiff neck peoples, hardened hearts, outrage, indignation and opposing camps of people, neither of which which will back down. It seems as bad as the situation in America with Trump and the opposing political figures, democrats, republicans, liberals and tea party hacks all going at it in the melee of the millennium. The readings today are so typical of our times that I almost feel someone might jump and say all the problems are Obama's fault!

     If I could come up with a way to interpret these passages today and open the hearts of every reader I would have greater hope for the outcome of the state of American politics but I don't think I am that good a writer ( or preacher ).

     The question in my mind is how do we open hearts and minds when they are so sealed shut?  When someone sees you as the anti-Christ of life in one way or another and seemingly there is nothing you can say or do will change their mind.  You become evil to the core, everything is your fault and we kill you, it will even be justified in the eyes of God.

      This is, again, the status of American politics today much of which is based on one simple act Obama continues to assault us with, the very act that he breathes. How is such hate and irrationality engendered? It is not unlike the irrationality and misinformation about gay people, Muslims, blacks and countless others who are doomed no matter how good they are or how loved they are by the same God that the Nebuchadnezzars of the world use as the basis of their own righteousness. Personally I always though the best way to assure lunacy in the masses was to stifle education. I am big proponent of basic, intermediary and higher education as a mandate for all. An ignorant mind is just to dangerous a thing to let fester.  Education is key.

      You can and should read the passages for today and from our safe distance in time, see just how many problems we have are typified in the similar behaviors of the past. Perhaps fervent prayer and a retreat to to that old Indian proverb about not judging until you walk a mile in someone else's mocassin

Lenten journey: the arrogance of man

     I'm starting off my blog today with a bit of a sad story. I once worked with a very nice woman named Anna who once confided in me as if I were a Priest and she the penitent. She said she once had asked God if she could always have a child around the house. As it turned out she had a son who was born terribly challenged, mentally and physically.  In fact he had to be institutionalized when he grew into a young man. The fact is, she said, God granted my prayers because my son will always behave (mentally) as a child.  I have serious doubts that God would answer a prayer in this manner but it drives home a point about our human nature.

     In todays passage from Numbers, I was struck by this quote that made me think of Anna. The people spoke against God and moses when they were in the desert. They said 'for there is no food and no water, and we detest this miserable food.’ I'm not sure what the exact translation would be but they lack food and yet complain about the food that they apparently do have.

     In our Lenten journey or even our life's journey, we hopefully pray to God earnestly and frequently. What do you pray for?

     Not unlike how we love to play God with justice we would like to mete out for other offenses ( that we so boldly judge no less ), we pray to God for things we think will make our life better.  If you don't think so, have you ever prayed to win Lotto? 'God, I will be able to help so many people'. Yeah. Right. But while our prayers are often not so brazen as to ask to win Lotto we do pray for all sorts of things that we know will make everything ok, will make our lives perfection as if we are the master potter ourselves, molding our own futures.

      I have witnessed time and again, and understandably so, people praying to God to make a loved one be cured. I have heard people pray for miracles that would be contrary to reason and it is called faith. I am sure I have done so as well in desperate times. What we would be better served doing is praying for God to be with us whatever happens.

      Hebrew scriptures for all the incredible stories of rape, murder, drunkenness and other sordid stories, the people recorded it all quite truthfully because no matter what was happening, they were faithful to God and knew that God was with them.

       Can we step out of our human arrogance to let God's plan of love unfold before us and simply be still enough to realize that no matter what, God is with us, loves us and wishes only the best for us. We may not always get what we think we need but we will always have a God who stands by our side.

Lenten journey: let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about sex

    What an unusual and sad predicament to be in today. I am spending Lent 'on retreat' with a wonderful Roman Catholic priest, meanwhile I am a recovering Catholic so to speak and I have officially embraced the Episcopal church. My readings for today (the Episcopal church readings) are different from the good Father who is directing me.  The division is understandable based on history but especially sad to think about during Lent.

     Since the Roman church readings involve sex and I'm gay, it almost seems like a divine intervention for me to go on about sex. So, let's talk about sex baby! My good priest friend reflects on his time in seminary, discussions about sex in class and embracing a celibate lifestyle and "lifestyle" is the right word.

      God created us with such complexity that involves both the mental and the physical. While there is a complementarity of parts, God's creation reveals same sex attraction, behavior and certainly that sex is much more than 'for procreation only'. The notion that the devil may have inserted into our character the pleasure aspect of pure sex and physical intimacy is ridiculous. In not embracing a vital part of our God given character we are choosing to live a lifestyle contrary to our God given sexual nature. It certainly is not how many of the Apostles lived and indeed it is very likely that Jesus did not either. Is there no more an intimate picture than John resting his head on Jesus' chest?

         The issue then reverts back to the question of whether sex is inherently good or bad. Further, is it an aspect of our character that should be embraced and shared sparingly or only within marriage? Marriage after all has been a fluid, changeable institution which the church only embraced in recent history. Prior to that, marriage was essentially a business transaction. (Great reading opportunity here: Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe by John Boswell) . Then what constitutes moral behavior, lust, love and all the parameters we seem willing to attach to physicality and intimacy?

        I'm not one to preach on all sex, all the time with any one ...or two... or three or four. Who am I to judge? I will be more than willing to say we should be less uptight, we should be much less judgmental. While I might argue sex is a gift and should not be shared indiscriminately, it should be shared so much more and with less guilt and considerably more joy. Even if one should choose to live a celibate lifestyle ( refraining from that most intimate expression of our sexuality ) that does not mean we ares till not sexual beings and that it does not need expression as a human being. I recall another interesting book from my younger days called The Sexual Celibate.

           As I grew up I developed a notion that to not fulfill one's potential was a form of sin. At least to prevent someone else from becoming all that they could be and should be by virtue of how God created them. One should cooperate fully with one's talents. Laziness in your personal talents then would be a form of sin. Surely not a mortal sin by my Catholic upbringing but a sin none the less.  I also believe then to restrain and inhibit our sexual nature as God has given us can also be as sinful as living out a horribly promiscuous life.

       So go out and be as sexual as you should be, as God created you to be, restrained only by the love of self respect and the respect of others because, it all about sex baby!

Lenten journey: wake up sleepy head!

     A little over a year ago I sat in a doctors office while he told me rather calmly that he had discovered a bit of a 'balloon' growing on my aorta, right by the valve in an unusually nasty spot.  Quite a miracle to my way of thinking that it was discovered at all. It was of sufficient size on its discovery to require prompt attention. And so the preparations began. Not quite serious enough to send me immediately to the hospital but large enough to make the immediate preparations. Scary. Fucking scary. Please excuse me.

     The waiting for surgery was several weeks of knowing that at any given moment I could almost literally explode and be placed immediately before my Creator to face up to how I lived or didn't love. All very sobering.

      We all know we are going to die. For most of us that fact is ignored or like youthful exuberance we pretty much think it doesn't exist.  As we get older we gets a foretaste of death in loved ones and friends who disappear after having graced and touched our lives. The pain is often palpable. From this we can certainly understand the humanity and heartache of Jesus when he knew he'd being saying goodbye to his own mom, his closest friends and his apostles.  He was saying goodbye to Lazarus who is the subject of today's scripture reading.  It is all about death and life. We know all about the saying good byes that we must endure or at least begrudgingly embrace.

      What do we know of living? What is it to live? Fear of death? I'd easily refer you to watch Moonstruck, a great movie all by itself. But in that movie Olympua Dukakis asks why do men cheat? The answer is 'because they fear death'.

      Living has to be more about fearing death. Life has to be more than just knowing about death but living fully in the light. That light is not simply 'Jesus the light'. The light is living as Jesus did, as he shows us. That means living each moment in the present. It means living each moment with exuberance and passion. It means living a life so full, so full of meaning, that when death does come we are not afraid or full of regrets.

Lenten journey: are you a thug for Jesus?

      Imagine you're in an unfamiliar area or perhaps you're in the so called bad part of town.  Maybe you're on a darkened street in an unfamiliar city. You come across some people, maybe thugs, maybe just strangers and they appear to be coming for you. You, the target, the goody two shoes. You the person who shouldn't be out this late and especially in this part of town. You feel the fear, you sense evil or something bad is going to happen.

  Where are you imagining you are? Who are you? Aren't you the thug? After all, what's that person doing in our neighborhood?  Isn't he/she the opressor? The person upsetting the status quo? They should know the rules, they enforce them by everything the do, say, live and breath. Let their God take care of them, the one they claim loves them, or will, if you obey all the rules.

     Who are you going to align with? Who are you? What side are you on? Who is right? Decisions. Fear. Indignant at me suggesting YOU might be the thug? The oppressor? The victim? Which side is which?  Give me labels, hard left, thug, religious right, hierarchy, anarchist, eletist, racist, snob, 99%, gay, socialist, purveyor of the truth,  hypocrite, human.

      How will we ever decide what and who is right? Perhaps if someone would die for their cause, then people will realize what is really important. Maybe, just maybe, we should live as He lived and appreciate the sanctity of life and that Jesus is willing to submit for us, for you.

Lenten journey: what they say

      There is a sad saying that goes something like this "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you". In today's scripture passages from Wisdom and from John, it seems they really are out to get someone. Certainly Jesus but the passages alludes to an outsider, a speaker of truth perhaps or someone who upsets the status quo.

      We all have our little cliques, our favored group. Even if there isn't malicious intent, we usually 'hang' with people we are comfortable with. Why on earth would you hang with people that make you feel uncomfortable??

      It is an interesting phenomenon that we tend to get so comfy and myopic though that we strongly resist efforts to go beyond the comfortable or even expand our knowledge level to actual truth. We can even be more comfortable with accepted lies. Heaven forbid someone should come along and upset our little party.  Jesus was the quintessential rebel in this regard for his time and he still is.

      If we want to live by his most excellent example, we are called to shake things up a bit. Certainly not for the sake of just doing it, that's nonsense. One of the most fundamental truths of the Gods universe is change / growth and change we must! We need to expand our horizons if only to understand, appreciate and love "the other". The other is the outsider, the one with the fresh perspective, the one who invaded our pristine group of comfort.  It is the prophet and the pauper, it is our sister and brother from another mother.

        Perhaps today I will try looking at everyone a bit differently and see what wisdom, love and knowledge they are offering me. Perhaps I will be so brave as to love that brother from another mother, reach out to a stranger instead of shunning them.

Lenten journey: on trial

     Here it is Lent and so in the daily scripture readings we are likely to find several instances where Jesus is either figuratively or literally on trial. Such is the reading from John today. Jesus does not need any human approval in his testimony and his testimony is unimpeachable because he is himself God (the son ). Jesus has no agenda as we humans do or as many religions do ( which of course is horribly ironic but it' s none the less, true).  Jesus is all truth, no agenda.

    I think we forget that when we are trying to be honest with ourselves, we do have our very own and very personal agendas. Not only that, but somehow we fail to register it in our cranium so that God, who has no agenda and is all truth, transparency and love, sees through every one of our descriptions, misrepresentations and childlike orchestrations. ( and loves us none the less )

     But if we are to grow into our fully mature, fully human and fully activated selves,  we need to make every attempt to strip away whatever is holding us back from being completely honest with ourselves. What Lent and life is all about.

Lenten journey: a mothers love

Can a woman forget her nursing-child,
   or show no compassion for the child of her womb?
Even these may forget,
   yet I will not forget you.

    One of my more enjoyable reads over the years was a book called Good Goats. As I recall, I was asked to imagine one of the worst things a child could do, then imagine how the mother (or father?) would feel. Would they abandon their child? And so, if an earthly mother could have such love for a child, how much more would our creator feel? I mean our creator imagined each of us and created each and every one of us, purpose built for this world. When we stumble or fall, does God not forgive us? Do we hold fast to some ancient philosophy wherein God sets in waiting so that when we stumble God is ready to pounce and punish?  I think not, not at all.

     Although every one has a different experience with their own mom or even their vision of a mom, the nurturing, loving embrace, the forgiveness and constancy is always part and parcel of the ideal. Is God the ideal or better than the ideal?

      It seems to me God is always laying in wait but not to pounce and punish. God is laying in wait, but to pick us up, hold us when we cry, forgive us when needed, promote us and celebrate us.

       

Lenten journey: what excuse have I ?

     Today's Gospel passage has me asking, what excuse have I ? The paralyzed man is indeed paralyzed, we should have sympathy in him , yes? But what of his excuses? 'There's no one to carry me' , ' by the time I get there the space will be gone'. What excuses do I offer to myself, to God and others when I wish to be healed? Do I truly want to be healed?

      I am acutely aware of people who have in fact suffered but they use that as a professional weapon as to ward off any reason to move forward and become the total victim. The attempts to drive everyone else into this maelstrom of self pity and suffering requires great amounts of energy that might be better served helping themselves move forward.

      I have witnessed in my life sufficient examples to not fall into the trap ( at least in an outward way). I blame only myself, i've got my faults but try to move forward in prayer and as much enlightenment as I can find.

     I recall my own father who died at a relatively young age from a heart attack. Before that though he suffered two strokes in 9 years, fighting back for every ounce of function he could get and without self pity or complaining, unless it was to himself. A very spiritual man, he'd more blame his own faults and be his own task master back to health.

     Then there is my oft mentioned, Saint Anna who lived next door when I was a young lad. There was no well or pool for her, she was crippled, no hope of a return to normality as we perceive it. But there were no tears or complaints from her. What was there?, it was the essence of a brave soul on a journey who never gave up on living and prayed constantly.

      We all are adept at making excuses why we are not really guilty of one thing or another. We have seemingly perfect reasons why we cannot do this or that too. Part of becoming the whole human being God intends us to be is taking that hard look at ourselves; submitting to some rather serious self reflection. Then take God's invitation of wholeness and love and move forward. Otherwise think about this, why did Christ willingly suffer and die in across for YOU?

   
   

Lenten journey: healing open to all

      Like the time Jesus healed the lover ( pais ) of the Roman Centurion, Jesus ( in today's' Gospel ) is again curing an unknown person. Again an unlikely and perhaps unworthy person is asking this itinerant Jewish preacher to heal a loved one. Again Jesus responds with as much as outstretched arms and all embracing love, curing the dying son of a " royal official". 

       When Isaiah speaks of "new heavens and a new earth" and when Jesus tells people that they ' are close to the kingdom', are they speaking about the afterlife?  Do we have to trudge through each day with whatever seems to be bothering us , putting up with 'idiots' only to be rewarded for our own good behavior when we die and go to heaven? I think it's much more likely that we can have the new world now, heaven on earth if we simply choose to now. As Jesus did not ask qualifying questions ( have you been a good boy? ) or even if the man's son was s good boy and heals him anyway. I might be aggreable with the opinion that if we simply ask God and have faith we can attain heaven now. I am certainly suggesting that minutaie, articles of precise faith and perfect lives need not be a prerequisite for either God's love or the prospect of heaven on earth for you and me.

           What we need do is seek out Jesus, or his life and see just how he lived and emulate that. I would guard against those who interpret scripture for their own agenda. The only agenda I could easily agree with is to live as Jesus taught with all embracing, non restrictive love.

Lenten journey: simplicity of God's revelations

     The phrase that jumps out at me from today is "I do not know whether Jesus is a sinner or not, I only know this much, I was once blind, and now I see". This one line speaks volumes about faith and about God.  There are so many theological avenues to pursue here. The idea of the blind man's guilt or his parents guilt? ( do we still beleive things like that?); The cure , which was unsolicited ( an outright gift from God ) and many others.

      After 20 solid years of Catholic education including 3 for my Masters while in seminary, I am used to boatloads of reasons for things, apologetics, rationalizations and intricate treatises on why things are the way they are. Actually why things are the way the Church believes they are. As a foretaste of my Episcopal faith, I always held to a belief which is probably very non-Catholic. That involves experiencing and seeing God.

     As long as I can remember I have believed that God reveals himself / herself to humans in ways that every human should be able to see. Since God wishes to reveal himself to us, it makes sense that he should be easily visible to all humankind. The Roman way would seem to intellectualize God's revelations to the point of obscurity and has contorted what should be very visible signs. Further, the extreme respect and honor given to such intellectualizing often finds itself at odds with what seems obvious to everyone else in the world. At this point the Church would step in and say it is either tradition, divine revelation or 'from the chair of Peter' ( ex cathedra ).

      Men like Saint Francis seem to have done a fine job of revealing God's word, intent and life by the simplicity with which they lived their lives giving  example to generations of men and women to this very day.  In contrast, the intellectual ramblings of St. Thomas, while impressive, have only held back true reform and revelation that I am sure continues to this day. That is, The Spirit is still very much alive and God is still revealing the mysteries of His love and the world He created.

      I think I shall take this day of worship to focus on the simplest forms of love. Whether it is cuddling with my spouse, seeing the face of God in our beloved pussycat, witnessing the love of a mother and child or basking in the beauty of nature.

     How simple but how awesome are the things you will see today? and God reaches out to us. always.

     

Lenten journey: extra crispy tasty bits

      I was watching a cooking show recently and the chef was preparing Duck Ballotine. One of the many attributes you want to achieve is crispy skin. Who doesn't like crispy skin? Doesn't everyone go for that right off the turkey or the roasted chicken? This is where my mind went when I read in Hosea today For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt-offerings.
The burnt sacrifices correlated in some perhaps warped way to crispy skin.  I even like the crispy ends of  prime rib.  But is that all we want?  Don't we wan a good tasting meal?

      I have a penchant for good food, both preparing and eating. Fortunately God blessed me with a husband who is even better than I am and I'm no slouch. But is that all we got married for, good cooking?  It's as if God is saying I don't want the tasty bits, I want the real deal, the real meal.  We acknowledge as much when we don't settle for a good cook as a spouse. We want intelligence, the 'spark' and of course love.

      In the Gospel today, Jesus addressed those who think the are far superior religiously. Their hearts are pure, they fast, they do 'all the right stuff' ,they have tasty bits so to speak.  It all looks so appetizing. But where is the love? Where is the mercy? God apparently wants more from us that rote obedience to laws. It's not just about us, it's our hearts for sure but isn't about how we interract with everyone else? Perhaps just as much?

       Then too, to perhaps drive the point home, Jesus is letting us know, who are they (we?) to judge how great they are? Instead of building ourselves up by tearing others down, let God be the judge.  Our hearts and minds should be better occupied by cooking with good hearts, being the best we can and not worring so much what the other fellow is doing. In point of fact, you might find you don't measure up as well as you like to think you do.

     

Lenten journey, two shall be one, love is love.

      It would be quite easy for me to succumb to the temptation to think and write solely about marriage equality. Today's Gospel is all about love and I am gay. This is more or less a gay blog. Let's talk about marriage equality !  But no, I am going to dismiss that train of thought because truly, love is love is love and it should not be bifurcated, separated or mangled apart by adding adjectives about 'gay' love or 'gay marriage'. Marriage is marriage, love is love.

       When Jesus responds about what is the greatest commandment the answer is all about love. It is about the love of God, the love of self and love of neighbor. The love is so defined as to dissolve away any barriers so that the love is multi-directional and undifferentiated no matter where the love is focused.  It reminds me of the phrase used when people get married, "two shall become one".   This isn't simply God's design as set forth in the creation story examples.  It isn't even that God said 'it is not good for man to be alone' even though we certainly are called by our very nature to companionship, community and intimate relationships. It's all true for sure but there is something even deeper about the message Jesus is delivering.

        I think it all has to do with himself, God the Father and the Holy Spirit - the Trinity. I was once told that the love between the Father and the Son was so strong that the mere expression of that love is an actual entity, a 'person' in the form of the Holy Spirit. Jesus uses the reference he is familiar with along with that of his Mother and Father, his companions, perhaps even his own lover if he had one. ( I certainly think he did, but that's another subject, eh? ) 

       When we love ourselves and love God and love our neighbor, love our spouse, and with all our heart and all our strength, that love is really all the same. It is a mirror or facet of God's love.  It's an awesome thought. This we certainly can meditate on that. 

       Even in marriage the love of God is expressed as the physical joy and mutuality of sex! It isn't ichy, it awesome, it's beautiful! Being our most vulnerable, being our most loving, giving ourselves totally. Isn't that God's love for us?

       When we get to Good Friday in a few weeks, didn't Jesus give us all his humanity, totally and freely given? Did Jesus hold anything back from us? He gave us everything and did it for each and every one of us. That's love!

       This is one of the aspect of a Sacramental marriage and even parenthood. We give to each other, for each other, totally in love. An image of the love of the Trinity between two people.  While we don't generally share physical intimacy with neighbors and friends, the love we give can still be freely given and totally without reservation fulfilling those two great commandments and emulating all the goodness and love of God.

     I think I am all loved out for this morning. Phew!

Lenten journey: a bad rash and good vision

      When I came out, I wanted to experience everything gay and that included gay pride in New York City. It was a wonderful weekend and it included services with guest speaker, Bishop Gene Robinson. The parade was mind blowing. I would have said it could not get better except who knew we would be marching ourselves within the next few years with the Governor of New York as a newly married couple? That was sensory overload and a truly awesome experience!

       One of my friends posted on Facebook that weekend ( as if to warn all good New Yorkers ). 'Lock your doors, it's gay pride weekend; bands of gays will be roaming the city and if your doors aren't locked they may come in and redecorate!'

        That is a rather gentle stereotype but a stereotype none the less.  We all have preconceived notions. I've heard haters say that gay men have 20,000 sex partners in their lifetime. I for one get exhausted just thinking about such a thing and laugh it off as ignorance.  Some people think being gay is all about wild, nameless, faceless sex or lisps, effeminate gestures and good decorating. Nothing could be further from the truth.  I am certain these haters' heads would probably explode into dust and utter confusion if they were to attend one of our meetings on Gay spirituality. That is, how do we integrate and live faithful lives as gay men and women?

        Today ( Luke 11:14-23 ), Jesus does a grand and wonderful thing. Jesus drove a demon out of  a man that had made that man mute. When the man began to speak, Jesus was accused of being a demon himself. Anyone who deals in demons must be a demon himself, right? What kind of nonsense is that? And yet we are perfectly willing to cast even grander designs on people based on assumptions and ignorance even today in such an enlightened age ( sarcasm? ).

        I once was on jury duty with a young man who was a typical "guido". Please excuse the somewhat derogatory word, this guy had all the gold chains, the rings, the "doo", the clothes and he literally had parked his TransAm so he could check on it from the window of our jury room. He looked at it longingly quite often to be assured no one was touching it. I had him pegged. That is until we got to talking and I found out I had horribly mis-cast him. He was a really nice guy, good heart, intelligent and he spent his free weekends helping feed the poor volunteering in Manhattan. I was bowled over.

       We make many assumptions about life based on a whole host of negative impressions and artificial rules we or society have set up. Our ignorance is not limited to ethnic or sexual stereotypes. We make enormous amounts of generalizations and judgements that help us put everyone and everything into nice neat cubbyholes. It makes us feel comfortable I suppose. We may think we understand the world better. Sometimes, like what happened to Jesus, it turned out the people turned out to be haters. That is, they'd rather hate than subject themselves to a deeper understanding and the realization that Jesus was our Lord and saviour exhibited at that moment by curing a mute, driving out a demon.

            What apple carts will be turned over today? What sacred cows of our mind will be slaughtered? Will we be haters when someone upsets the status quo of our own small mindedness?


       I'm not sure we can meditate on this one. Perhaps we can only pray to live today with a more open mind. Pray we we will be present enough and open our eyes enough to battle our own myopic view of the world going on around us.

       And so I pray not to be 'rash' and for good vision

Lenten journey: thinking about rules

     My father was a policeman for many years. In one of our early conversations we were discussing laws. Dad claimed that laws were made because not every one has common sense.   Not everyone for example would stop their car at a busy intersection unless told to do so by a traffic light. Then too, not everyone has the common sense to exercise caution on a mountain road and so speed limit signs are posted for safe driving.   I questioned  many things that he told me but this answer made sense. If I needed any further proof I just needed to check the church parking lot after mass. There were no stop signs, no specific directions and with everyone trying to get out of the lot it was bedlam, perhaps even mayhem and the good will fostered in the church was quickly tested on the way out.

       So what of the laws that God has given us?  Jesus said ‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill'. What does that mean to us? This is what I have been thinking about. I know laws are meant to help us but there are times when I have intentionally broken traffic laws, like when when daughter was born. I raced and, stopped at red lights, looked and sped through to the hospital.

        With this same wonderful daughter ( and son ) I had a great many rules as they were growing up and I was an enforcer.  It wasn't until they could understand that the rules would be bent a little if not dispensed with.

         From my own life experience with all the churchy rules and rubrics I find it difficult to believe that Jesus came to tell us that every single element of the law would stand until heaven and earth pass away.  This very statement seems contrary to Jesus' own words about the the two great commandments. That however is the precise point. Anyone can obey laws. In Matthew 19:22, a rich man had obeyed every point of the law and asked Jesus what more he had to do to achieve salvation. Jesus told him he should sell your possessions and give to the poor.  Hey wait. The selling of possessions and giving to the poor is not one of the ten commandments is it?  Yet Jesus said it and the man went away very sad.

      The point is obeying laws might have been enough at one time, when we were a young people and perhaps incapable of much more understanding. Jesus came to say the laws won't go away until we temper them by those two great commandments. We must see things in the eyes of love. We must use our brains and our hearts.  Just as God conveyed a universal truth in the creation stories because we were not capable of understanding 'the big bang" or anything more complex than "God created the world". Even with the big bang, God still created the world. It really changes nothing except that we understand a bit more.

       So too, all the laws that Moses came down from the mountain with will not be going away. But they must all be understood, tempered by love.  I always said obeying those two great commandments is much more challenging than simply obeying those strict ten commandments.  But if we are to grow as humans, if we are to grow as humanity into the loving beautiful creatures God created us to be, we must use our brains and not fall into the trap of being thoughtless, mindless rule spouters.  

       

Lenten journey: Scandalous

     When I was in seminary studying for ordination, one class in Canon law made a very big impression on me.  The topic at hand was scandal.  We were all to avoid scandal at all costs. Perhaps one of the reasons it struck home so hard was that the church itself was undergoing a tremendous scandal at the time. There were many cases of child abuse by clergy which had been covered up (uncovered?) from the highest levels ( to avoid scandal ).  Part of the problem was in order to avoid a scandal, they perpetuated, covered up and allowed to continue in various forms heinous crimes against children. In effect, the attempts to avoid scandal turned the church against the very things they claimed to stand for.  The behaviour of many religious and especially the hierarchy was not all cozy Christian or caring. To avoid scandal, the church in many instances abandoned the faith. Apologies for abuse is one thing but the Roman church has yet to come to terms with their lack of responsibility and complete culpability for the cover up and lack of decent moral actions to correct the situation.   So we sat in class learning about how to avoid scandal.

      All this would be so easily dismissed because the Roman church has essentially lost it's moral compass. The truth is, we cause scandal every time we act contrary to what our beliefs are.  I have made many mistakes in my life. Have they been taken to heart by someone that thinks 'if he is a christian, I'll have none of it'. When we wear a cross around our neck and blast someone who cuts us off on the road, what message do we give? Is this how we would convert people.

       It's almost certain that none of us has done anything that could rival the sins of the Roman church but we are after all human. Even if you do not believe in formal confession as a sacrament, we still have to admit we have sinned and are likely to do so again.  Do we recognize what our sins can bring forth in others or how we are perceived as Godly people?  Sounds a bit like scandal. Can we recognize our part in it?