Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Lenten journey: whudduya know?

     The discussion at hand is what did Jesus know and when did he know it? Heavy stuff to banter about and guaranteed to have strong opinions on both sides. Did he know he was the Word when he was a teenager?* I think it may be less important what details Jesus may or may not have known. He knew that he was the son of man, the son of God.

      As I said the other day, I came out at about 50 years old. Can you imagine?! That is, I didn't come to realize I was gay until that time. Sure I had clues and in retrospect, it was obvious. I feel a bit stupid. Still, all my life I had clues. For example, I could always feel a connection to the marginalized of society.  In innate social conscience or perhaps it was simply that in my subconscious I knew I too was different. Some people surely would have put the pieces together long before 50.  I once consulted a counselor over my clerical / gay situation and he referred to it as the 'unspoken known'.  That is is perhaps why when I told my children, one of them said, 'it's about time'.

       It is amazing to me the things we know but never speak out loud. There are things that seem ingrained in us humans not unlike my totally indoor cat who knows instinctively that he wants to 'play' with the birds he sees outside.  As humans have instinctive feelings against murder and pain. We also have a natural tendency to seek the creator, our God. We don't have to speak  about it but we know.

       I have an elderly friend who was a companion to another woman for many, many years. Neither had ever married. I suspect , no, they were a couple, perhaps a "Boston marriage". She might be distraught and insulted if I asked if she was a lesbian but every aspect of their lives together points to a committed, loving relationship. Sex does not necessarily have to be a part of it even if I'd argue it would have been all the richer a relationship.

       There are so many things we don't know, maybe we know on an instinctive level or we simply cannot comprehend. The truth is it is not that important as long as our we know are foundation. This week, today, is a great time to connect with our humanity and our intimate connection to our divinity ( small d, we may be godlike but we are not gods ).  We are beloved children of God. Whatever else Jesus knew or did not know, he knew he was the beloved son. God was proud of his son and the son placed all his trust in the Father. It was no matter what he knew was going to happen, suspected what was going to happen or even if he had no clue what was about to befall him. He lived and died in faith and in total love.

       WE can argue about any topic at all, religious or secular and get our blood all boiled up but in truth all that matters is our love.

* fun reading: The Gospel According to Biff

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