Lenten journey: what excuse have I ?

     Today's Gospel passage has me asking, what excuse have I ? The paralyzed man is indeed paralyzed, we should have sympathy in him , yes? But what of his excuses? 'There's no one to carry me' , ' by the time I get there the space will be gone'. What excuses do I offer to myself, to God and others when I wish to be healed? Do I truly want to be healed?

      I am acutely aware of people who have in fact suffered but they use that as a professional weapon as to ward off any reason to move forward and become the total victim. The attempts to drive everyone else into this maelstrom of self pity and suffering requires great amounts of energy that might be better served helping themselves move forward.

      I have witnessed in my life sufficient examples to not fall into the trap ( at least in an outward way). I blame only myself, i've got my faults but try to move forward in prayer and as much enlightenment as I can find.

     I recall my own father who died at a relatively young age from a heart attack. Before that though he suffered two strokes in 9 years, fighting back for every ounce of function he could get and without self pity or complaining, unless it was to himself. A very spiritual man, he'd more blame his own faults and be his own task master back to health.

     Then there is my oft mentioned, Saint Anna who lived next door when I was a young lad. There was no well or pool for her, she was crippled, no hope of a return to normality as we perceive it. But there were no tears or complaints from her. What was there?, it was the essence of a brave soul on a journey who never gave up on living and prayed constantly.

      We all are adept at making excuses why we are not really guilty of one thing or another. We have seemingly perfect reasons why we cannot do this or that too. Part of becoming the whole human being God intends us to be is taking that hard look at ourselves; submitting to some rather serious self reflection. Then take God's invitation of wholeness and love and move forward. Otherwise think about this, why did Christ willingly suffer and die in across for YOU?