Lenten journey: let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about sex

    What an unusual and sad predicament to be in today. I am spending Lent 'on retreat' with a wonderful Roman Catholic priest, meanwhile I am a recovering Catholic so to speak and I have officially embraced the Episcopal church. My readings for today (the Episcopal church readings) are different from the good Father who is directing me.  The division is understandable based on history but especially sad to think about during Lent.

     Since the Roman church readings involve sex and I'm gay, it almost seems like a divine intervention for me to go on about sex. So, let's talk about sex baby! My good priest friend reflects on his time in seminary, discussions about sex in class and embracing a celibate lifestyle and "lifestyle" is the right word.

      God created us with such complexity that involves both the mental and the physical. While there is a complementarity of parts, God's creation reveals same sex attraction, behavior and certainly that sex is much more than 'for procreation only'. The notion that the devil may have inserted into our character the pleasure aspect of pure sex and physical intimacy is ridiculous. In not embracing a vital part of our God given character we are choosing to live a lifestyle contrary to our God given sexual nature. It certainly is not how many of the Apostles lived and indeed it is very likely that Jesus did not either. Is there no more an intimate picture than John resting his head on Jesus' chest?

         The issue then reverts back to the question of whether sex is inherently good or bad. Further, is it an aspect of our character that should be embraced and shared sparingly or only within marriage? Marriage after all has been a fluid, changeable institution which the church only embraced in recent history. Prior to that, marriage was essentially a business transaction. (Great reading opportunity here: Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe by John Boswell) . Then what constitutes moral behavior, lust, love and all the parameters we seem willing to attach to physicality and intimacy?

        I'm not one to preach on all sex, all the time with any one ...or two... or three or four. Who am I to judge? I will be more than willing to say we should be less uptight, we should be much less judgmental. While I might argue sex is a gift and should not be shared indiscriminately, it should be shared so much more and with less guilt and considerably more joy. Even if one should choose to live a celibate lifestyle ( refraining from that most intimate expression of our sexuality ) that does not mean we ares till not sexual beings and that it does not need expression as a human being. I recall another interesting book from my younger days called The Sexual Celibate.

           As I grew up I developed a notion that to not fulfill one's potential was a form of sin. At least to prevent someone else from becoming all that they could be and should be by virtue of how God created them. One should cooperate fully with one's talents. Laziness in your personal talents then would be a form of sin. Surely not a mortal sin by my Catholic upbringing but a sin none the less.  I also believe then to restrain and inhibit our sexual nature as God has given us can also be as sinful as living out a horribly promiscuous life.

       So go out and be as sexual as you should be, as God created you to be, restrained only by the love of self respect and the respect of others because, it all about sex baby!