Divine celebration

Romans 10:8-18

          I am very happy that there is a day of 'rest' between so called Black Friday and the first Sunday of Advent. Today perhaps we can take some time to think about the true season of importance, Advent, which begins tomorrow. I hope to focus my blog for that sole purpose each day until Christmas.

          Without getting all Adventy on you in advance, I cannot help but think of the passage for today without referencing why Advent is so important.  For the masses out there, perhaps the ones that went out shopping after gorging themselves on turkey or the ones that were on the road with me at 4am this morning, me going to work, the others headed to WalMart, this season is a jumbled frenzy. As Fr. Frank would say, buying things for people we don't like, with money we don't have, for things they don't need. It would seem to be a sad state of affairs.

         For the faithful however, this season is a joyous and divine celebration of the birth of our Savior. God so loved the world that he became incarnate, choosing to live as we live, walk as we walk, feel what we feel and bleed as we bleed. God embraced every aspect of our lives from birth to death and everything in between. How could we not celebrate on the grandest of scale?  To channel such joy, we wrap ourselves in lights symbolic, giving in the most generous terms and parties that are long remembered for their excess, from libations to brotherhood and hospitality. It is a glorious season.

         To some this will be an almost gruesome task of battling crowds and almost torturous friendliness. To the faithful who have the love of God emblazoned in their hearts and feel the joy and appreciation of God become man, it is a natural flow and manifestation of love.  

          

But what does it say?
‘The word is near you,
   on your lips and in your heart’
(that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because if you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For one believes with the heart and so is justified, and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved. The scripture says, ‘No one who believes in him will be put to shame.’ For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all and is generous to all who call on him. For, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.’

But how are they to call on one in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in one of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone to proclaim him? And how are they to proclaim him unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’ But not all have obeyed the good news; for Isaiah says, ‘Lord, who has believed our message?’ So faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ.^*

But I ask, have they not heard? Indeed they have; for
‘Their voice has gone out to all the earth,
   and their words to the ends of the world.’

Do you really know what you're asking for?

Matthew 20:17-28

          Reb Tevye said that it is no curse to be poor but that it's no honor either. I also think he said something like, 'if money is a curse, God, please curse me and let me never recover!''  So many times in life we ask for things that we really have no idea what we may be really asking for. Certainly Zebedee's wife had no idea what she was asking for her son's in todays passage.

            Asking for things without realizing what we are really asking for is something that we start doing as children and fail to realize even as adults.  A young child asks for a 'real army tank' for Christmas. In a obscure Christmas song, a child asks for a Hippopotamus. The parents are left to explain why neither is very practical and simply dangerous - perhaps at any age. Yet as we get older we ask for perhaps equally as silly things. I know I have.  We ask for money, to win Lotto. Perhaps we've asked for unlimited, uninhibited sex on demand. I can only imagine the number who may have gotten their wish only to succumb to AIDS. One could ask Christian Onassis what it's like to have unlimited wealth, it didn't seem to make her any happier.

            It seems if we ask for anything, a good thing to ask for might be wisdom. Then we might realize how blessed we already are and feel content and happy.  Or perhaps a good prayer ( for anything ) might be to pray for what we want but let His will be done. We fail to see so much, we are so limited  and God is all knowing and wise.

            Do we really know what we are asking for?

While Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way, ‘See, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death; then they will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified; and on the third day he will be raised.’

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to him with her sons, and kneeling before him, she asked a favour of him. And he said to her, ‘What do you want?’ She said to him, ‘Declare that these two sons of mine will sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.’ But Jesus answered, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?’ They said to him, ‘We are able.’ He said to them, ‘You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left, this is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.’

When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.’

Thanksgiving Day

Philippians 4:4-9

          I had occasion to call one of our associated medical offices a few weeks ago and the person I spoke to sensed a calmness in my voice and a uncommon peace that made her feel good. She told me so. I assured her that it was not always so. I also told her that I am very happy and a peace, that I have a great deal to be thankful for.

           I assured her that such peace is readily available without trying to sound preachy in any way. I think she knew where my peace came from without me conveying all the details of my life. For me the journey is essential to where I am now and to where I am going but that is my journey to wholeness. She would find her own. And thus comes thankfulness. I am thankful for every step of my journey, even the missteps. Of course I am thankful for all the material goods I have been graced with. Although I certainly could have more, everyone could wish for more I suppose, I know that "things" can make you life a little nicer in some ways but never give you wholeness of happiness. Still, as I said, I thank God for the gifts he has bestowed on me and has given me  stewardship over. 

           Material things aside, I am thankful for love. That covers a lot of territory because I am that blessed. Family and all that entails from kids and grand kids, to monsieur LeChat and onto the most wonderful husband in the world. But mostly and especially, the love of my creator God who loves me with reckless abandon and has stood by me, walked with me and cried with me. How blessed am I ??

          While you are sitting there relaxing after your thanksgiving day meal, or whatever meal, sit down and relax, make sure you take some quiet time to think of everything you have to be thankful for.  The list is probably more extensive than you think. Perhaps think of your entire life, the twists and turns, where you've been and where you are and don't forget a prayer for where you'd like to be.

        Praise God in all things. Happy Thanksgiving!

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.

Sing songs of joy

Azariah 35-51

This reminds me so much of the days when I was in seminary. There were so few of us and yet our voices reached to the rafters in our morning and evening prayers. Our singular voices were not that great but in unison and with sincerity of heart, we raised the roof. It was glorious.

          It really is not that different from any of us at any time. We may or may not have been gifted with a great voice but to God it is the glorious sound of his most loved child, whomever you are. God loves to hear us in song.  Singing in the shower, singing in the car, singing in church or wherever, God loves the sound of our voices in song.  It is a way in which we can express the feelings deep inside from love, to passion to thankfulness.

          Advent will soon be here. There will be Christmas music bellowing from every corner. Some will lament that it's too much or too soon. I hope they are not around my office, I started playing Christmas songs 2 weeks ago.  I highlight the Christmas music because it is an opportunity for us to sing along, raise the roof so to speak and praise God in song with our own voices and no one will be the wiser except God who will know that in our hearts we will be praising God and giving thanks for the gift of the Christ child.  It would be so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season but singing will give you focus. Singing allows you to express yourself and give back to God what has been given you. Your voice is as sweet as a meadowlark.

           Interesting blog entry. How often does anyone entreat you to sing? Really this is request to prepare for Christmas and pray, give thanks and celebrate as God would see fit for the birth of Jesus.

³⁵ ‘Bless the Lord, all you works of the Lord;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
³⁶ Bless the Lord, you heavens;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
³⁷ Bless the Lord, you angels of the Lord;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
³⁸ Bless the Lord, all you waters above the heavens;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
³⁹ Bless the Lord, all you powers of the Lord;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁰ Bless the Lord, sun and moon;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴¹ Bless the Lord, stars of heaven;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever. 

⁴² ‘Bless the Lord, all rain and dew;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴³ Bless the Lord, all you winds;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁴ Bless the Lord, fire and heat;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁵ Bless the Lord, winter cold and summer heat;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁶ Bless the Lord, dews and falling snow;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁷ Bless the Lord, nights and days;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁸ Bless the Lord, light and darkness;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁴⁹ Bless the Lord, ice and cold;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁵⁰ Bless the Lord, frosts and snows;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever.
⁵¹ Bless the Lord, lightnings and clouds;
   sing praise to him and highly exalt him for ever. 

"Hope will never be silent" -Harvey Milk

Luke 18:35-43

          So I copied down the web link and filled out the papal survey today. I listed myself as a cleric on a permanent leave of absence and as "other" and then typed in "married gay man". Some might be astounded that I went through the trouble and that I had the nerve to fill it out (seeing as I am now a former Catholic). I will not be silenced however. Some may be further annoyed that I dare liken myself ( and the entire gay community ) to the blind man in this passage. 

         Heaven knows there are volumes of ignorant people who seem perfectly willing to say how bad gay people are. They misquote the Bible left and right and have the support of an array of clergy from almost any denomination. But again, I will not be silenced, we will not be silenced.

        I suppose it would be wise to point out something about today's passage. Back in the day, the blind man was considered a sinner or cursed. He must have done something wrong to cause his blindness. If he himself didn't sin, then it was perhaps the results of his parents sins. I don't think there is anyone around today that would consider saying such a thing about a blind person. In fact many of the so called "impure" back in the day are not considered so today. Take leprosy for example. Their idea of leprosy back in the day was much broader than what we know today specifically as Mycobacterium leprae, or leprosy. If a man had a fungal infection he was considered to have leprosy. Psoriasis was leprosy. If the coat you were wearing was made from an animal skin and it had a blemish, it was considered leprosy. Many of the people that they considered anathema was actually based on a lack of knowledge and understanding. Jesus allowed many unclean people to touch him. Jesus had better sense, more knowledge and more compassion. So when the crowds told the blind man to be quiet, Jesus knew better. Jesus had compassion and cured the man. The crowd of Jesus' followers, undoubtedly faithful souls one and all, thought the blind man should not be seen with Jesus, should not approach Jesus and should stay in 'his place'. The blind man would not be silenced.

             Old ideas about being gay are falling fast and furiously on this section of the globe and many others. The fundamental lack of understanding, ignorance and stereotypes are falling to knowledge, loving committed couples and the revelation that being gay is as integral to God's creation as heterosexuality is, just not in equal numbers.

           I will continue to call out to God as I have done my entire life. I strongly believe he will continue to respond to me in a favorable way as he always has.  It was with God's gracious help and patience that I came out. I am sure God looks favourably on the love, commitment and sacramental life that exists between me and my husband in spite of what many believe.

         I say to stand tall and proud in the sight of God, call out, do not be silenced. God loves you and cherishes you just as you are. Just as he/she created you.

35 As he approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. ³⁶When he heard a crowd going by, he asked what was happening. ³⁷They told him, ‘Jesus of Nazareth^* is passing by.’ ³⁸Then he shouted, ‘Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!’ ³⁹Those who were in front sternly ordered him to be quiet; but he shouted even more loudly, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!’ ⁴⁰Jesus stood still and ordered the man to be brought to him; and when he came near, he asked him, ⁴¹‘What do you want me to do for you?’ He said, ‘Lord, let me see again.’ ⁴²Jesus said to him, ‘Receive your sight; your faith has saved you.’ ⁴³Immediately he regained his sight and followed him, glorifying God; and all the people, when they saw it, praised God.

A kings ransom

Luke 21:1-4

        Just as there are energy givers and energy vampires, there are people who are simply givers and those that seem to be takers. What is in your heart?

        At the heart of all giving is thankfulness. What are we thankful for ? I would bet that if we feel thankful for wads of material goods or even thankful that we "earned" wads of material things, we don't really get the point of being thankful. Thankfulness is something rooted in being alive, in being loved and has far less to do with anything material at all. In this way, if you truly are thankful, you are much more willing to part with anything or everything material. Why? Because you know that true happiness is not derived from anything man made. Happiness comes from all those intangibles such as love and peace. Money can't buy those. In the face of this scenario, the widow is willing to give an inordinately large percentage of her 'wealth' in thankfulness to God. When you think your happiness comes from material things, you want to horde whatever it is you have and consequently, give less.

       This kind of thinking turns the world as we experience it on end. Much of our world is based on the material. Many years ago, just before my mother fell ill from a stroke and was subsequently hospitalized and wound up living in a long term care facility, she inherited what many would consider a nice house. The location was somewhat obscure though. It was in an old mining town in the northern most region of the country. It's value was based in to opposing paradigms. On a material front it was simply a house with a set monetary value. It's location made that substantial but not as much had it been located in some other more desirable area in which case it would have fetched a tidy sum. The real value came from the fact that it had been our family homestead, the last vestige of a large immigrant French Canadian family that settled in this region ..... God only knows why. The other less likely reason for it's value was that it was in fact situated directly next to a Roman Catholic church, one that my mother had frequented as a child. For this reason my mother decided to give her portion of this house to the church. The value of this gift was still much more than her annual income but she was less wise about material things and perhaps a bit more like the woman with the two copper coins. My mother had a grasp of true happiness and faith in God. Scandals not yet revealed, the Roman Catholic church had offered her much as a youth and untill the day she passed.  The best part of this scenario and perhaps entertaining in light of this passage is the Internal Revenue Service's attempts to try to wrap their heads around the fact that she gave a donation greater than her annual income, however meager it was. It seemed to smell of being a scam.

         Many times our thankfulness may be judged as foolish or at odds with a practical, material world. By the same token, those things that we are thankful for may seem foolish, things like love and faith, family and friends. These things money cannot buy but are worth a kings ransom. 

        

He looked up and saw rich people putting their gifts into the treasury; he also saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. He said, ‘Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them; for all of them have contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in all she had to live on.’

Savage truth and errant sheep

Jeremiah 23:1-6

           I was listening to a You Tube clip of Dan Savage on the Bill Maher show today. I will confess to being a real Dan Savage fan. Dan was unapologetically direct in his talk about a great many things, perhaps one of the reasons I like him so much. Bill Maher asked about the recent marriage equality victory in Illinois. He also asked about the Roman Catholic Bishop there holding an exorcism against gay marriage (and being gay I presume). Dan wasted no time going for the jugular. His response was not tempered, he asked if the Bishop had ever held an exorcism for all the priests that had molested and f**d little boys. Dan feels as I do, that the Roman Catholic church has lost any moral authority they may have once had.  The hierarchy has led countless people astray and continue today with off handed, irrational and insulting remarks that the pedophilia scandal in the church is because of 'the gays'.  They fail to note they are two distinct things and fail to acknowledge that a major part of the scandal was the actual cover ups and lack of concern for the victims. How sad. How ironic, when a very large percentage of the clergy are gay. This is a simply a whirling dervish of insanity that has embraced the church.

         I was going to say I have to temper myself here but I am sure it doesn't sound like I have. Regardless, it is clear that the church has lead countless people astray. What Jeremiah prophesied is true once again and new in the 'one true religion'. If, it is the one true religion, then they are really in trouble for the errors of their ways. 

         Without minimizing the damage the church has done ( and continues to do ), we are all capable of leading others astray. How is that? I can think of a couple of examples right. off. Perhaps we find the route to our wholeness and we wish to share it with others. Perhaps we are so zealous we fail to realize it may not everyone else's journey or route and yet we proclaim it as 'thee way' to salvation or wholeness.  Perhaps we are not that zealous, perhaps we do not proselytize but we are willing to simply dismiss anyone who does not share our vision.  We become an elitist club where others are expendable. Do not associate with them! 

        If we are shepherds and sheep, we should be very wary of anyone who is willing to sacrifice sheep for the good of the group. Jesus after all would leave the 99 to find the one and find value in the one.  In another passage the 'father' killed the fatted calf to rejoice in the fact that the prodigal son had returned.  The shepherds of today have a few too many rules to be respected. A few too many rules so that we know that they are not from God. If not, they are at the very least errant sheep themselves. God gave us only two rules, two commands if you will.  Not respecting others journey was not one of them. Not respecting mutual, consensual, genuinely loving relationships was not one them. Fabricating holy days and rubrics  are not any of those laws either.

        The rule are those two great commandments which revolve around love; love of self, love of neighbor and love for our creator.  If we really have concern and love for everyone, including ourselves, we should at the very least honor each others' journeys and help each other in any way we can, accepting who we are and where we each are on our journey. As for lost sheep, welcome everyone and love everyone seeking out all of God's creation without limit.

        

   

Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! says the LORD.

Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who shepherd my people: It is you who have scattered my flock, and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. So I will attend to you for your evil doings, says the LORD.

Then I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the lands where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply.

I will raise up shepherds over them who will shepherd them, and they shall not fear any longer, or be dismayed, nor shall any be missing, says the LORD.

The days are surely coming, says the LORD, when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch, and he shall reign as king and deal wisely, and shall execute justice and righteousness in the land.

In his days Judah will be saved and Israel will live in safety. And this is the name by which he will be called: "The LORD is our righteousness."

Spilling dirt

Isaiah 65:17-25

         As I drive into work each day in the dark, I see shadows of hulking monsters on the sides of the entry drive. Leaving work, daylight reveals the hulking monsters are cranes, bulldozers and assorted construction equipment. They are preparing a new parking lot and have laid waste a large wooded area along our entry drive. The parking is desperately needed but they have eviscerated a habitat for the local deer population in this suburban area. But, the work had to be done.  No job of any consequence is done without some dirt being spilled and an upheaval of some kind.

           When I read this passage from Isaiah, my mind goes to a heavenly place where there is a new Jerusalem and we will all live in peace and harmony. What I fail to see is the spilled dirt and the upheaval which is surely part of getting from here to there. If God is going to create a new Jerusalem, there will have to be some real  changes. An if this is taken literally, perhaps some scared cows ( Holy sites) will be disturbed in the process. No major undertaking is done without some dirt being spilled.

          The same is true on a truly personal level. Whether the upheaval is the form of sweat equity required to change flab into muscle or whether it is heart wrenching self assessment and honesty in the hands of a qualified therapist. No profound changes come easily and without some work.

           When I was coming to the realization that I am gay, it caused some great emotional and mental upheavals. If this was true, what would I do? I knew how a person feels when they contemplate suicide. It seemed no mater which way I turned, whichever course of action I would choose to take, there would be major problems, an upheaval of some kind. The risk of any action was great. The notion of suppressing being gay as I had done so effectively to myself for so long was no longer an option to me. Honesty had to prevail but it put me at a great risk on many levels. This is where the qualified therapist takes a bow. I did the work, the exercise, but he "spotted" me as I did the heavy lifting. In time I spoke to my wife and then my kids and then the church in which I served. There was upheaval and some of the spilling of dirt was the termination of a marriage and a personal release from those vows. It was quite traumatic. 

         Just as I can see a new Jerusalem in all it's glory from this passage, I have seen my own personal Jerusalem rise out of the ashes, my own beautiful city. I have done the hard work necessary to come out and announce I am gay.  I have been able to integrate my spirituality with my sexuality as if they could ever be separated. I know God loves me and that is fundamentally why I was able to come out as I did. I knew and know just how much God loves me. Having done the hard work , the spilling of the dirt so to speak, I am now graced with that new city. The new city is inhabited by a loving couple. I am blessed with a most wonderful husband .  My children, although they may not understand it all, continue to love me as well as my husband.  I am living in the New Jerusalem.

         Are you up to the task of honesty, self love and a bit of dirt being spilled to help create your own new Jerusalem?

   

For I am about to create new heavens
   and a new earth;
the former things shall not be remembered
   or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice for ever
   in what I am creating;
for I am about to create Jerusalem as a joy,
   and its people as a delight.
I will rejoice in Jerusalem,
   and delight in my people;
no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,
   or the cry of distress.
No more shall there be in it
   an infant that lives but a few days,
   or an old person who does not live out a lifetime;
for one who dies at a hundred years will be considered a youth,
   and one who falls short of a hundred will be considered accursed.
They shall build houses and inhabit them;
   they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
They shall not build and another inhabit;
   they shall not plant and another eat;
for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be,
   and my chosen shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
They shall not labour in vain,
   or bear children for calamity;^*
for they shall be offspring blessed by the Lord—
   and their descendants as well.
Before they call I will answer,
   while they are yet speaking I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb shall feed together,
   the lion shall eat straw like the ox;
   but the serpent—its food shall be dust!
They shall not hurt or destroy
   on all my holy mountain,

says the Lord. 

The Advocate

John 16:7-15

         I don't know when Jesus had full awareness of his divinity. As God I imagine he would have a complete awareness of everything, he'd see the whole picture, no limits such as we have, not time, not space. The question remains in my mind, perhaps as an intellectual exercise, when did Jesus know he was God? In this passage he said I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.

As Jesus leaves though, he promises that the Spirit will come upon us. It is the Spirit that will impart all the knowledge that we perhaps could not bear at that time. What knowledge? Why wouldn't Jesus tell us everything?

              In the early eighties I lived in a very poorly insulated house and I installed a coal / wood stove to insure my family would be warm and that I wouldn't go broke trying to do so. A coal stove burns incredibly hot. While it's a great source of heat for a small house it is quite dangerous in many ways especially if you happen to make contact with any part of it. One day my young toddler daughter was making her way toward that hot stove. I yelled at her just as she approached it and I believe I stunned her with the intensity of my bark. I am not a believer in screaming and yelling as a means of raising kids but that one time it was called for and appropriate. I could not explain to my young daughter why she should not go near the stove. She would not understand fully until many years later why she should avoid the stove.  At such a young age, she was not capable of understanding the reasons to stay away from the stove.

              As humans, our capacity to learn and know things mirrors the learnings of children.  God conveys truths to us in a way we can understand and eventually we become capable of deeper truths. One need only read Genesis with it's description of the sky as a bowl. In fact most of the Genesis descriptions are somewhat laughable now but they did convey truths we yearned to know and needed to know.  Another point is the idea of Adam and Eve and the creation of the world in seven days. That seems patently false compared to the scientific knowledge we now have but again, the story conveys certain truths. Now we are capable of understanding more.

             The Advocate, the Holy Spirit is alive and a work in our world. It is through the Spirit that we have come to know so many things we may take for granted. For example, Jesus may have hinted at the dignity of women by his revolutionary relationship with them as he walked the earth. He gave them respect, spoke with women that would render him 'unclean' by the standards of his day. Jesus was a radical. He did not literally speak of women's rights but he lived it. The Spirit has helped us more fully realize the dignity of women and of all peoples.  Do we believe in slavery anymore? Isn't that seen as a fundamental disrespect for God's other creations? Isn't everyone else on this orb our brother and sister? Certainly everyone is due respect, dignity and freedom. This concept was not common in Jesus' time but it is the Spirit that reveals this kind of truth that we were not capable of bearing at the time Jesus walked the earth. What other truths has the Spirit revealed? What have we come to know now that perhaps we once thought of as unheard of? Gay rights? The dignity of all God's creations? The revelation that God did not create just black and white, male and female?  The Spirit has helped us see that God creation is a witness to diversity that is evident in humanity. 

            Many things that we ( humanity ) were not able to comprehend when we were 'young' , we are now capable of understanding. We need to grow and mature as people and as humanity.  We cannot fall back on tradition and false thinking and continue to live and grow. We must discern what is of God and what can be respectfully abandoned. It is the Spirit that helps us do this. The Spirit reveals new truths to us in details we may not have been ready for. Perhaps this is how Limbo was both created and now is summarily dismissed. It is how the woman's right movement was born. It is how the gay rights movement was born. It is how scientific knowledge is revealed and helps us see how even more impressive our creator is.

               Perhaps this is why the only so called only unforgivable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit. It denies God and the truth about ourselves. We need to grow and learn to live. Again I am called to rfeernce my personal motto: work hard, play hard, prya hard.

Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will prove the world wrong about sin and righteousness and judgement: about sin, because they do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you will see me no longer; about judgement, because the ruler of this world has been condemned.

‘I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine. For this reason I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.

Similarities of children and vines

Matthew 18:1-5 and John 15:1-5

          In looking over the readings for today I found some similarities. What is similar about vines and children? What are their characteristics?  First, children are constantly growing and changing. One of the ways people have described children is that they are like sponges, soaking up information and learning at an amazing pace. This is a good thing and it should not be limited to youth. A vine also is constantly growing and changing. Vines though need to be pruned and nurtured. The mere action of pruning is an action of growth, getting rid of the bad and making room for the new. It really isn't that different from the growth of a child.

         I think it is quite telling that we are called to be childlike and told we are a part of the vine.  We need to be constantly learning and growing if we are to stay alive and well. We need to grow or we are automatically and assuredly on the road to death. One might argue than a lack of growth is death.  We can see this in some old fogie who harps on the good old days so much they aren't living in the present anymore. Adaptation and change are hallmarks of creation, of God's creation. Part of the growth, especially as adults, is pruning. Often scarred by the world and imperfections, we need to assess our good and bad points, and try to excise or prune away the bad parts. In so doing we have new growth and progress towards wholeness which is one of our purposes here on earth.

           The day I announced to myself out loud that I am gay, I was ecstatic. The joy was palpable and so much that made me feel incomplete made me feel whole. I had been searching my entire life, even if subconsciously, I searched for wholeness. One could easily think that once I came out, all was accomplished as if being gay was the completion of my wholeness. It is not so for anyone. It certainly is a major portion of who I am and who many people are. The fact that it remains hidden and tortured by society often makes it loom larger than it should be. Perhaps that is the essence of gay pride and equality. We want our 'gayness' to be a matter of fact part of who we are.  But for myself, however large coming out was, it only serves as perhaps a major step in my journey to wholeness. Being gay does not make me a better person in and of itself.  My journey continues. I still must grow, still must 'prune' myself and especially let God prune me.

           The call to be childlike is integral to us all and the need to prune and grown is also integral to us all. No one escapes these needs lest we whither and die. Lets we think it is a burden, remember how much fun it is to be a child. How much fun children have playing, filled with awe and surprise at creation and at learning every little and big thing God has prepared for us. The joy of a new toy yields perhaps to the joy of a personal relationship. The pruning can be physical and mental. We feel the joy of excising flab and the great feeling after a vigorous workout in spin class. We also know how great it feels to excise old dead gray matter and stretch our minds. All of this and perhaps even some playing with Lego's as an adult too, is part of growing and being a living child of God.

        This serves as a reminder to me to exercise my personal motto in reference to growth:  work hard, play hard, pray hard.

Matthew

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

John

‘I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine-grower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit. You have already been cleansed by the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.

The things we pray for

1 Peter 3:14-18

           I cannot escape that Christmas is fast approaching, seasonal music is heard from every corner... of my office. As I also prepare for Channukah and 8 presents for my most wonderful husband, I am also pondering the questions from the kids. "What do you want Dads?" 

            This passage reminded me that things do not always turn out the way want or pray. In many if not all instances, it is how we respond to what happens that shows we are people of faith. Sometimes we will suffer for doing what is right. So it made me think of different perspectives and how we all can look at things differently. What I might 'ask' for Christmas might not be the same as someone else. Ask for wisdom and faith? That might be me. Ask for a new car? well, that might also be me. In truth, I would prefer the wisdom and faith because I have laready discovered that material goods do not bring happiness. So there are different perspectives on what we might pray for.  My friend is praying her daughter gets into a rehab facility somewhat close to home so she can visit. Another friend, dealing with the senseless death of a close friend in a truck accident, is asking for inner peace and understanding. Most kids would ask for a x-box or a new bike.  I would have asked for a new toy car when I was a kid. Some things never change. 

           As we grow and hopefully mature, we know what things are truly worth asking for, and when I say 'ask', I mean pray. When we do get a gift of some kind, of any kind, we may easily say: that it's not what I wanted, it is the answer to a prayer or show indifference. It is a matter of perspective and wisdom.  One person gets fired and it's a curse. Another person sees it as an opportunity. It reminds me of somone who wins the lottery. One person might leave their spouse and be on the next flight to Tahiti. Another winner might keep working and use the money to enrich others' lives and help the poor.   

          How are your prayers answered? What do you pray for? How do you see the cup? Half full? Half empty?

But even if you do suffer for doing what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated, but in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be ready to make your defence to anyone who demands from you an account of the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence. Keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who abuse you for your good conduct in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil. For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God. He was put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit,

Divining rods

Matthew 17:14-21

             Many years ago, I wanted a new van. Not a panel van that has a bumper sticker that reads "if this vans a rock'n, don't come a knock'n".  No this was a luxurious van with every amenity and all wheel drive. It was a beauty and I paid dearly for it. The payments were huge and in the end I could barely afford the gas to run the van. How stupid. Yet, I had convinced myself of what a great idea it was. I could do so many good deeds with it. I was convinced.

                I wonder if faith isn't a bit like that. I can be so intent and convinced how spiritual I am. I know I am gifted, graced and blessed but do I truly have faith? If I had the faith that I think I do, many many people would be saved from suffering, emotional ills, disease and death. I am not able to cure  anything. I am not saying I am faithless, just perhaps not as much as I have convinced myself. Is it that much different from how I convinced myself that buying an expensive van was absolutely the correct thing to do?

               What would really be good would be a divining rod of sorts. One that can separate good ideas and faith from our own personal agenda, our own worldliness and our own errant thoughts. If the Catholic church can convince itself that so many of their rubrics are from God (more often they are not), why can't I be guilty of the same sin? Why not you?  That divining rod sure would be handy to weed out purity of heart from worldliness. It would be great to be able to discern what our selfish wants are compared to what God wants. Tough questions for sure. I am certain I have inserted my own sometimes selfish agenda into my prayers and decision making. Discerning is key. Discerning is not something that clicks on like the person who sees a "sign" that this or that is "God's will".

          I wish I could say I have some sage advice here for you and myself but alas all I can offer is the suggestion to pray hard, look inward and upward.


         

When they came to the crowd, a man came to him, knelt before him, and said, ‘Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly; he often falls into the fire and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, but they could not cure him.’ Jesus answered, ‘You faithless and perverse generation, how much longer must I be with you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him here to me.’ And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was cured instantly. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, ‘Why could we not cast it out?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there”, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.’

The gay paradigm.

Ephesians 4:1-6

          Christmas time is fast approaching, do you recall what it was like to have a new toy? How about rediscovering an old toy? When I realized I was gay, I wanted to immerse myself in the gay community. I wanted to know everything about it. It wasn't just the all embracing LGBTQ, it was everything about being gay.  Gay art, gay theatre, gay people, gay causes. Everything. I soon realized how wide a range there is within the gay community and frankly, some of it did not interest me in the least. Not that there's anything wrong with it, we all have preferences. I was more astounded by the expansiveness of the gay community. Here we are, all under this one umbrella. 

          In this way, perhaps it is easier for some in the gay community to understand and appreciate the diversity in the rest of the world and in particular, religions. There is one body and one Spirit whether we are speaking of being gay or the fact that humanity is all connected by one creator. We can erect walls and barriers, we can try to create certainty that we are better than "them" or they we are right and "they" are wrong but it will never be the truth. We are all brothers and sisters, all " a brotha from anotha motha".

            It is perhaps more difficult for the straight community to realize how diverse we all are, to appreciate it, understand it and embrace it.  There is comfort in numbers even if you are wrong. Religions, nationalities and sexual orientations combine to form groups for comfort that makes them feel right and also so they have power.  They may have power and be wrong.  So many religions have shown how wrong hearted and wrong minded this concept is. Whether it is the attempted extinction of native Americans being spoken of, the inquisition and crusades or countless other examples of  'my way or the highway' on a grand scale. It is not just religious, it's also political.

           In the gay community we know diversity and while each avenue of expression may not be our cup of tea, we accept it and acknowledge each one's right to find happiness and expression.  What the gay community has not had is power. One of the reasons the gay community has made so many strides in these last few years is not because we are always right, it is the power that is wielded by combining our forces. For all intents and purposes, each and every part of the LGBTQ community is a minority. By respecting each other and knowing that there is one body and one Spirit, and joining forces we actually offer humanity a vision of what the world should be, diverse, accepting and loving.

           Always work in all humility, gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. We are all brothers and sisters on this orb we call earth. We are all brothers and sisters, children of the same God.

I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.

End times and eternal hope.

Luke 21:5-19

          I cannot help but think of all the times I have heard that the world is coming to an end. Sometimes I wonder about people and wish I knew what was going through their mind. It could be any array of circumstances but in the case of religious leaders and prognosticators that predict the end of the world, I really don't care what is going through their minds. I have been around long enough to know that every life is sacred and that being called home can happen in the blink of an eye. It usually does. If the world ends, so be it. Jesus said it was only for the father to know what the date and time was to be for such things.

             What I am interested in is the things that will happen before the end comes. We have seen them all and we see horrible things that have happened to good people. We may pass long before the actual end of the world, I suspect we will. None the less, we see the signs before us as the scripture notes.

              What I could not help but think of was the good people that will be persecuted and handed over. I'm not so sure I believe that literally although it is possible. Good people have been rounded up many times in our history and tortured, killed and extinguished. One need only look to the atrocities of the Catholic church, the Nazis and some Muslim fanatics. That's the short list. We are capable of such horrors in the name of our creator.  But the single act that horrifies me and speaks to my soul today as clearly as it did when it happened was that of  Matthew Sheppard.  Here was an innocent that I identified with on a level I could not understand at the time. It horrified me. A good person who wished only to live a good, decent and loving life,  subjected to ignorance, bullying, beatings and death.   

           As I said, the signs are all there that we are approaching the final age. I am not stupid enough to think it will be soon by our standards but we all see what we as humans are capable of. But here it is, Jesus showed us what humans are capable of as well. Jesus gave us the template. Jesus' life and love may be contorted by some, may be disfigured by some but the essence of his life and love is true and unadulterated by religions. The Spirit sees to it that love will triumph over ignorance, that not even death will have power over us when we die. Jesus' life is the template for heaven on earth and for all eternity. 

           I would take the opportunity to think about the evils of the world and what we can do to stop it. What can we do to transform ignorance into love and knowledge. Are we called to conversion on a large scale or can we simply transform our own parcel of the world, our own circle of friends, coworkers and family. Let us start first within ourselves though and let the light of Christ shine forth for all to see.

When some were speaking about the temple, how it was adorned with beautiful stones and gifts dedicated to God, he said,

"As for these things that you see, the days will come when not one stone will be left upon another; all will be thrown down."

They asked him, "Teacher, when will this be, and what will be the sign that this is about to take place?"

And he said, "Beware that you are not led astray; for many will come in my name and say, 'I am he!' and, 'The time is near!' Do not go after them.

"When you hear of wars and insurrections, do not be terrified; for these things must take place first, but the end will not follow immediately."

Then he said to them, "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom;

there will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and plagues; and there will be dreadful portents and great signs from heaven.

"But before all this occurs, they will arrest you and persecute you; they will hand you over to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors because of my name.

This will give you an opportunity to testify.

So make up your minds not to prepare your defense in advance;

for I will give you words and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to withstand or contradict.

You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers, by relatives and friends; and they will put some of you to death.

You will be hated by all because of my name.

But not a hair of your head will perish.

By your endurance you will gain your souls.

Spirituality of show'ers and grow'ers

Luke 4:16-22

            As this is a blog geared towards everyone but especially to the gay community, let me start with something not heard in general discussions except perhaps in the gay community. It might still be a bit crude but here goes. Innocent as I was, one of the many things that I heard early on, that is, after I came out, was the concept of show'ers and grow'ers. For those not so educated in the fine arts of the gay kingdom, there are those that are well endowed (it's obvious), and others that do not appear to be as well endowed but certainly more than rise to the occasion.

         Sometimes people get fixated on bigger and supposedly better. In any event size seems to matter whether we are speaking gay sex or cars, or houses or boats, or just about anything. Perhaps it is a more of an American paradigm but sadly it's true.

          Blessed is the person who knows who they are and accepts it as simply part of who they are. In this way we can realize that no matter who we are, how well we are endowed, physically or monetarily, we all have a gift to offer and role to play in God's world. There is a perfect person for everyone. The road to happiness is paved with self knowledge. Acceptance of who you are in all your attributes is good and desirable.  Love yourself.

      In this passage Jesus is fully aware of who he is. Others may be surprised (Isn't he Joseph's son?) but Jesus is who he is. He is a man and he is God. He has every right to demand a sacrifice to himself and yet it is he who will sacrifice himself for us. The fact that he recognizes himself in scripture could make him the biggest show'er (of sorts) of them all. He would have every right to feel that way. He is God. Yet that is not what he does, he does not demand that every head bow or that the congregants bend their knees to him. He accepts who he is and moves forward in love. He is confident in knowing who he is and focuses on his mission, true love and salvation for all of us.

       If we could only acknowledge  that we are show'ers or grow'ers in any aspect of our life and not demand anything for it, or use the knowledge to demand respect or certain behaviours. What we need to do is accept who we are, respect who we are and move forward with our mission. That mission is to accept who we are and love our self and everyone.

        

When he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, he went to the synagogue on the sabbath day, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written:
‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
   because he has anointed me
     to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives
   and recovery of sight to the blind,
     to let the oppressed go free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.’
And he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. Then he began to say to them, ‘Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.’ All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They said, ‘Is not this Joseph’s son?’

Jealous of being gay

Numbers 11:24-30

           This passage seems to portend the life of Christ, or at least some of the scripture passages.  First there is the seventy which is similar to the time when Jesus sent out the seventy. Secondly, the Apostles at one point ask Jesus about people doing good in his name. The Apostles want them to stop and Jesus tells them not to stop them. In case you did not know, many Christian scripture passages have mirror Hebrew passages.  It is up to you to determine the validity and significance of such facts.

             What I pick up on is the jealousy angle in this passage and perhaps with the Apostles as well.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion.  It is at the root of many of the worlds problems even today. It can easily be the undoing of a relationship and is at the heart of how whole groups feel about other groups of peoples.

              As a gay man and fully connected to gay blogs, news services and feeds, I know how we are looked at by some. We are always having free sex, everywhere and with everyone. We have casual sex at the drop of a hat.  There is no limit to what we will do.  We all know that is not true. Now, if you ask me do we enjoy sex more than the average straight person, my answer would be probably yes. Are the misrepresentations and beliefs about sex and the gay community part of a jealous streak among some people? I really think it is.  If not because they are settled in boring, monotonous, sexless marriages , then because they are truly gay, hiding or unaware of their own sexual preference and desires.  Perhaps not the case with every anti gay zealot, it certainly is so with many. How many times have we found that the most astoundingly religious and outspoken anti-gay mouthpieces are in fact closeted gay people?  It must be almost unbearable to hide from yourself, hear yourself mouthing vile stories about the gay community, all the while wanting to come out and being unfulfilled, cut off and denied. Jealousy would be only one emotion that these people find as a fuel for their anti-gay rhetoric.

            Jealousy is a face of unhappiness with who you are. It speaks to being unsettled and not being comfortable with who you are or who you are acting as.  The first thing we need to do is always respect each others journeys ( and needless to say, our own). We must respect imperfection and transition. We must find joy wherever we are and at every moment. This actually goes to God's command to pray unceasingly.  Our joy and thankfulness for ourselves and every one else is a prayer.  

So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord; and he gathered seventy elders of the people, and placed them all around the tent. Then the Lord came down in the cloud and spoke to him, and took some of the spirit that was on him and put it on the seventy elders; and when the spirit rested upon them, they prophesied. But they did not do so again.

Two men remained in the camp, one named Eldad, and the other named Medad, and the spirit rested on them; they were among those registered, but they had not gone out to the tent, and so they prophesied in the camp. And a young man ran and told Moses, ‘Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.’ And Joshua son of Nun, the assistant of Moses, one of his chosen men, said, ‘My lord Moses, stop them!’ But Moses said to him, ‘Are you jealous for my sake? Would that all the Lord’s people were prophets, and that the Lord would put his spirit on them!’ And Moses and the elders of Israel returned to the camp.

Compassion for the wanderer.

Matthew 9:35-38

           Sometimes when I look around me I am amazed at how people are wandering around aimlessly trying to find satisfaction and fulfillment in all the wrong places.  If it isn't money, it's sex or any variety of 'things'. People are confused, misled and all the while still yearn for wholeness and purpose that only God can give. It would be easy for anyone who has been graced enough to know the love and fullness of God to make rash judgements about people and how wrong they are or even how wrong hearted they are. I suppose I have done that very thing from time to time and perhaps even right on these pages.

           Jesus however sees a much broader picture than we do and has a heart as big as the universe. Jesus sees the crowds and has compassion.  Sometimes when we achieve something, almost anything, we feel satisfaction in knowing what we have accomplished. We look at wealth and say we have earned it. All the while, we still are wandering aimlessly in so many ways.

            I imagine there are quite a few people who think how foolish I am, having wandered for about 50 years not realizing I am gay.  I myself am amazed when I look back in hindsight. But Jesus did not look and say " you stupid child" of mine, you wasted so much time and heap on insults. Jesus loved me, supported me and had patience and love for me.  It was really no different than when Jesus had compassion for the crowds in this passage. Jesus sees the bigger picture that, more often than not, we cannot see.

            It should be enough for us to know that we all wander from time to time. Didn't the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years? Is this not a metaphor for our own lives? Should we learn something from all this? If nothing else, we should appreciate that we all wander in one way or another. We should be much less judgemental, more understanding and more compassionate. That is what this passage is all about. That is what our lives are all abut. Love, compassion and the journey to wholeness.

Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest.’

Climb every mountain

Matthew 15:29-39

               Have you ever climbed a mountain? I have climbed many, both on foot, by bicycle and by car. I suppose I have been climbing mountains for years since I recall climbing Hogback Mountain as a kid with my brothers. Since then I have walked some of the Appalachian trail, visited Pikes Peak and most recently Cadillac Mountain and environs by bike.

          One of the reasons people climb mountains is the beautiful scenery and the clear view. This is quite a metaphor for life even though the serenity of the mountaintops make it quite apropos. We all want clear vision, we all want to be able to see things more clearly. Who hasn't gazed into one of those old coin operated binoculars like they have at the Empire State building. You want to see as far and as well as you can. If we could see in the future we would look even harder. As humans we have a thirst for knowing and a thirst for solitude and peace where we can commune with ourselves and God. Sometimes we need the silence to hear God's words to us and the solitude of the mountain top is a golden opportunity.

             This past summer, my husband and I were biking in Maine and on our second to last day we solicited advice on a more challenging and memorable ride. Our guide suggest the "around the mountain ride". He also said we probably would curse him for the first half hour or so of the ride. Well, first, it really should be called the straight up the mountain ride. The road was gravelly, steep, filled with switchbacks and a real bear. It was hard. It was no wonder we ran across very few people in this popular summer vacation area. This particular ride was challenging and few dared do it. But, we did and we forged forward, ever upward. It was a personal triumph for each of us when we reached the peak. The reward was spectacular. The views in almost every direction took our breath away (what breath we had left from the ride that is ). The silence and beauty was humbling and inspiring.

        It seems that any effort to see better, to gain better clarity, more knowledge, more maturity is always met with a challenge and we have to strive to get there. When we achieve our goal, however lofty and however difficult, we gain a new perspective and all the rewards it has to offer, even if it is simply some quiet time, some peace and time with our God.

        Climbing the mountain is a literal and figurative expression but no matter which you are speaking of, it is worth while.  The rewards are enormous and the peace and self knowledge are indisputable.

     

After Jesus had left that place, he passed along the Sea of Galilee, and he went up the mountain, where he sat down. Great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the maimed, the blind, the mute, and many others. They put them at his feet, and he cured them, so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.

Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, ‘I have compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat; and I do not want to send them away hungry, for they might faint on the way.’ The disciples said to him, ‘Where are we to get enough bread in the desert to feed so great a crowd?’ Jesus asked them, ‘How many loaves have you?’ They said, ‘Seven, and a few small fish.’ Then ordering the crowd to sit down on the ground, he took the seven loaves and the fish; and after giving thanks he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And all of them ate and were filled; and they took up the broken pieces left over, seven baskets full. Those who had eaten were four thousand men, besides women and children. After sending away the crowds, he got into the boat and went to the region of Magadan.

A beautiful life

Matthew 15:21-28

          I went to a wake yesterday for an old friend, someone I had shared many cups of tea and long talks with.  If ever there was a woman to be admired, it was her. She was the life of the party, did not mince words and was loving, compassionate and filled with a zest for life. She was a wonder, a great woman, wife, mother and grandmother and many will miss her physical presence even though her real presence will be felt forever.

           Here's the thing, she died of cancer and there was no shortage of people praying for her to get better.  Perhaps we got too cocky when she did so well initially, better than most anyone else would have with her diagnosis. Perhaps there is a miracle in that, in how long she was able to grace our lives and love her granddaughters and family in spite of her illness.

            But why was the Canaanite woman so blessed when so many faithful were praying for our friend?  It just does not make sense to me. None of it makes sense to me.  I know that part of it must be my limited vision, a lack of understanding perhaps. Maybe I don't have as much faith as I think I do.  

             Aside from not knowing why this happened, there are a few things that I do know. One is that we were incredibly blessed to be graced by her presence. We are not owners of any life, not even our own.   God has 'called home' if you will, a beautiful soul and we should appreciate the time we did have. That brings us to the next thing, try to appreciate everyone in your life right now.

            Kaye was 3 years younger than me. You never now when your time will come. Appreciate, cherish and live life to the full every moment you are graced with. Come to think of it, that was Kaye's life.

Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, ‘Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.’ But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, ‘Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.’ He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ He answered, ‘It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ Then Jesus answered her, ‘Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.

What of the women?

Luke 20:27-38

           Yesterday I went to Mass as usual in the morning several hours after I had finished and published my daily blog entry. On Sundays I have the small added pleasure of hearing how the presider or preacher deals with the Gospel message versus what I may have written about. I am captivated by the message I missed or by how the preacher mirrored my own thoughts.  

            Yesterday I was captivated by the thought of the wife in the passage, the wife of the seven brothers. What of the woman?  I suppose it is possible she killed all seven but really that's not the point of the story at all and highly unlikely. The message that I missed though, was what about her? Did she have no say in the matter? Was she just so much chattel that was married off to succeeding brothers, one after the other with no thought, just blind obedience to the law? This part of the passage is not mentioned because then the woman really did not have any say. Women at that time were merely possessions and held as property. 

             Should we take this at face value ( literal )  as a means to denigrate and keep women 'in their place'? What is a woman's place? It would seem normative to us now that women have all the equality and rights that every other person has. It could be argued that they should be held in higher esteem for all the work they do professionally and are in many cases still expected (and do ) run a home with a husband that is a slovenly couch potato, incapable of cooking, cleaning or boiling water. In point of fact I heard someone in the men's locker room last week who was complaining because he had to take out the garbage. The complaint to me was the real garbage and it probably should be thrown out. For the most part we have risen above such archaic thoughts and although women have made great strides towards equality and self determination, more needs to be done.

              The undercurent though of the passage to me is even deeper than womens rights and how far we have come. It is deeper than the message that we should not take scripture in such literal terms and negate the movement of the Holy Spirit and the growth of humanity to be more enlightened.  We need to be acutely aware of the hidden messages in scripture that can subtely draw us into behaviour that is not of God. Having been written by humans and while containing an inspired message, it is not perfect. We, as imperfect beings, are not capable of writing or even grasping the full message of God's love. We certainly cannot put it to paper in an edequate fashion. This is why the message of God is so broad - love. Efforts to pin "love" down are elusive. Love is so broad and the Spirit is constantly enlightening us. If this were not so women would still be chatel, slavery would still be acceptable and resepct for the gay commnity would be buried in mistranslations and misinformation. 

          So what of the woman? What of us all?  Let there be love, growth and respect for all.

             

              

            

Some Sadducees, those who say there is no resurrection, came to him

and asked him a question, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies, leaving a wife but no children, the man shall marry the widow and raise up children for his brother.

Now there were seven brothers; the first married, and died childless;

then the second

and the third married her, and so in the same way all seven died childless.

Finally the woman also died.

In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will the woman be? For the seven had married her."

Jesus said to them, "Those who belong to this age marry and are given in marriage;

but those who are considered worthy of a place in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.

Indeed they cannot die anymore, because they are like angels and are children of God, being children of the resurrection.

And the fact that the dead are raised Moses himself showed, in the story about the bush, where he speaks of the Lord as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.

Now he is God not of the dead, but of the living; for to him all of them are alive."

Make up the rules as you go along

Luke 20:27-38

We have certain rulebooks that we play by. No matter what sport, society, religion or faith, we hold these rules to be sacrosanct.  They can mark or faith or influence the laws of our culture, influence our laws. Many times we consider that these rules come directly from God, like the ten commandments. . Then again, Jesus himself was able to distill down those ten into the great two.  Jesus I presume thought we were of sufficient intelligence and development to discern, judge and use our consciences to determine how the two play into the ten. We can do that. Only people who claim the literal words as their guide fail to see that even those words are up for interpretation and mistranslation. Nothing is easy it seems. There are other times when the rules we play and live by are not of this variety. Rules sometimes come from rationalizations, from supposed higher realms of thought.

          So perhaps we can examine a few. How about meat on Fridays? Nah, that's too easy. How about Limbo? That is an interesting concept born of, well , lets just say over thinking something. It also shows  what happens when arrogance is allowed more sway that the limitless love of God. No matter how you rationalize it, would a loving God send an infant who died to "Limbo" because he/she was not baptised? Where is the love of God there? Where did the concept of Limbo come from? Errant thought? Limbo is probably a good example of a concept that fell into the realm of unbelievability long before the hierarchy had the sense to officially do away with it. It must have been humbling. That in itself may have been a good sign  of hope for the Roman Catholic church, that they found the strength to reject a previously sworn to concept.  Jesus did not mention Limbo and it certainly does not square with his loving presence or nature.

         How about the woman with seven husbands? Jesus sees through this facade.   It is supreme arrogance when we decide what God wants. It is supreme arrogance when we rationalize or conjure up a concept about God and then swear it is true. I wonder if God knows he's bound by the decisions of the church? I mean, how did God feel about abolishing Limbo that he supposedly created? 

         We are capable of all sorts of erroneous thoughts and decisions. I will be the first to admit I am guilty of that myself on several occasions. You can convince yourself you are straight for example. How does God feel about that when He created you gay?  There are boatloads of erroneous thought, lies and damn lies about being gay, many sworn to by the religious elite and knuckleheads. Often it is 'backed up' by interpretations, select verses and ignorance. Their certainty or lies however are not the truth and I would say highly disrespectful of the vision of the world God has given us. The world attests to homosexuality in every corner of the animal kingdom. The answers are there, what right do we have to come up with our own ideas that being gay is evil and deviant?

          In the name of religion seven men probably spent time wondering if their earthly wife would join them in heaven.  Religious intellectuals can argue over the head of a pin, it does not make it correct.  Using our judgements about God and swearing to it is never acceptable.  Most people get this concept, the people in the pews, the man on the street, moms and dads, lovers and friends.

           It is perhaps apropos that I saw a bumper stick that said "science sends man to the moon, religions fly jets into buildings". 

          Where is the love ?

Some Sadducees, those who say there is no resurrection, came to him

and asked him a question, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies, leaving a wife but no children, the man shall marry the widow and raise up children for his brother.

Now there were seven brothers; the first married, and died childless;

then the second

and the third married her, and so in the same way all seven died childless.

Finally the woman also died.

In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will the woman be? For the seven had married her."

Jesus said to them, "Those who belong to this age marry and are given in marriage;

but those who are considered worthy of a place in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.

Indeed they cannot die anymore, because they are like angels and are children of God, being children of the resurrection.

And the fact that the dead are raised Moses himself showed, in the story about the bush, where he speaks of the Lord as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.

Now he is God not of the dead, but of the living; for to him all of them are alive."

Worthy water walkers

Matthew 14:22-36

           I run across quite a variety of people where I work. By most accounts it's a country club of sorts free of bureaucratic nonsense so prevalent in the main facility. The people I work with are truly good people. It pains me though when I see so many of these people with such self doubt and poor opinions of themselves.

            This is what I am thinking of when I read this passage. "You of little faith". Don't you know that while you are not perfect, you were created out of love and I love you more than life itself? I can hear Jesus saying that to any of my coworkers. Jesus says it to me. I am in the unusual position that I listen well, try to keep my eyes open and what I hear and see is astounding. Wonderful people, gifted people, loving people, hurt and broken people.  Hurt and filled with self doubt or guilt. Not a good combination. This combination stands in the way of moving forward, of loving others and most importantly, letting others love you. You need to know how valuable and lovable you are.

             I went on retreat once called a Cursillo where they took great pains to help you realize your self worth. One of the main goals it seemed was to make you realize just how lovable you are. We were even given buttons that said "God don't make junk".  Those were glorious retreats.

             I see how blessed I am with the family I have, the most wonderful husband in the world and a  cat that is beyond compare.  Yet I also see so many in my community, the gay community, alone and seeking their love. They stumble and fall and many relationships just fizzle out or don't have staying power. What I see is genuinely wonderful lovable people who don't see their own worth. They need to hear that they can walk on water. They do NOT need to hear that they are an abomination. They do NOT need to hear that they are intrinsically disordered. This kind of talk is as far from the message of Jesus as we are from the next galaxy.  

             If we are to walk on water, we need to know our own self worth, how lovable each of us really is. We also need to participate in the ministry of Christ by bolstering others opinions of themselves and doing our best to see the beauty in everyone. Not everyone will light the spark in our soul like my husband does for me but when we give and receive love all around without limits we will be able to walk on water and find lasting love because we will know we are worthy of it.

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking towards them on the lake. But when the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’

Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’ He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came towards Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’

When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret. After the people of that place recognized him, they sent word throughout the region and brought all who were sick to him, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.