Spilling dirt

Isaiah 65:17-25

         As I drive into work each day in the dark, I see shadows of hulking monsters on the sides of the entry drive. Leaving work, daylight reveals the hulking monsters are cranes, bulldozers and assorted construction equipment. They are preparing a new parking lot and have laid waste a large wooded area along our entry drive. The parking is desperately needed but they have eviscerated a habitat for the local deer population in this suburban area. But, the work had to be done.  No job of any consequence is done without some dirt being spilled and an upheaval of some kind.

           When I read this passage from Isaiah, my mind goes to a heavenly place where there is a new Jerusalem and we will all live in peace and harmony. What I fail to see is the spilled dirt and the upheaval which is surely part of getting from here to there. If God is going to create a new Jerusalem, there will have to be some real  changes. An if this is taken literally, perhaps some scared cows ( Holy sites) will be disturbed in the process. No major undertaking is done without some dirt being spilled.

          The same is true on a truly personal level. Whether the upheaval is the form of sweat equity required to change flab into muscle or whether it is heart wrenching self assessment and honesty in the hands of a qualified therapist. No profound changes come easily and without some work.

           When I was coming to the realization that I am gay, it caused some great emotional and mental upheavals. If this was true, what would I do? I knew how a person feels when they contemplate suicide. It seemed no mater which way I turned, whichever course of action I would choose to take, there would be major problems, an upheaval of some kind. The risk of any action was great. The notion of suppressing being gay as I had done so effectively to myself for so long was no longer an option to me. Honesty had to prevail but it put me at a great risk on many levels. This is where the qualified therapist takes a bow. I did the work, the exercise, but he "spotted" me as I did the heavy lifting. In time I spoke to my wife and then my kids and then the church in which I served. There was upheaval and some of the spilling of dirt was the termination of a marriage and a personal release from those vows. It was quite traumatic. 

         Just as I can see a new Jerusalem in all it's glory from this passage, I have seen my own personal Jerusalem rise out of the ashes, my own beautiful city. I have done the hard work necessary to come out and announce I am gay.  I have been able to integrate my spirituality with my sexuality as if they could ever be separated. I know God loves me and that is fundamentally why I was able to come out as I did. I knew and know just how much God loves me. Having done the hard work , the spilling of the dirt so to speak, I am now graced with that new city. The new city is inhabited by a loving couple. I am blessed with a most wonderful husband .  My children, although they may not understand it all, continue to love me as well as my husband.  I am living in the New Jerusalem.

         Are you up to the task of honesty, self love and a bit of dirt being spilled to help create your own new Jerusalem?

   

For I am about to create new heavens
   and a new earth;
the former things shall not be remembered
   or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice for ever
   in what I am creating;
for I am about to create Jerusalem as a joy,
   and its people as a delight.
I will rejoice in Jerusalem,
   and delight in my people;
no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,
   or the cry of distress.
No more shall there be in it
   an infant that lives but a few days,
   or an old person who does not live out a lifetime;
for one who dies at a hundred years will be considered a youth,
   and one who falls short of a hundred will be considered accursed.
They shall build houses and inhabit them;
   they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
They shall not build and another inhabit;
   they shall not plant and another eat;
for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be,
   and my chosen shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
They shall not labour in vain,
   or bear children for calamity;^*
for they shall be offspring blessed by the Lord—
   and their descendants as well.
Before they call I will answer,
   while they are yet speaking I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb shall feed together,
   the lion shall eat straw like the ox;
   but the serpent—its food shall be dust!
They shall not hurt or destroy
   on all my holy mountain,

says the Lord.