Bringing Down statues

      I have been giving great thought to history and the role of statues as of late. On a minute level, I wonder if after I die, someone might come along and scan some of my writings, look at my life and think that I am some sort of hero. Maybe, they’d want to erect a statue of me.  Of course then someone else might come along and say, I knew that guy, he was no hero and then produce a litany of all my faults, mistakes and sins. There are many. Does that diminish the good that I may have done?

      In the play Hamilton, there is a scene where President Washington announces that he will be stepping down, not seeking re-election. The speech that he gives is quite telling to me.

Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors. I shall also carry with me the hope that my country will view them with indulgence;
And that after forty-five years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal, the faults of incompetent abilities will be consigned to oblivion, as I myself must soon be to the mansions of rest I anticipate with pleasing expectation that retreat in which I promise myself to realize the sweet enjoyment of partaking.

This in itself reminds me of another play called Wicked from which I quote from the song called Wonderful.

                      A man's called a traitor or liberator
                  A rich man's a thief or philanthropist
                  Is one a crusader or ruthless invader?
                  It's all in which label
                  Is able to persist

So the question that I am asking myself is where do we draw a  line between honoring someone for their historical relevance and stature or consigning them to history by literature and texts alone where we can, theoretically, learn from our mistakes – or theirs as the case might be?

     Looking at the example of President Washington who has given so much of himself to lead and literally help create this nation, what do we do about the fact that he was a slave owner of 123 living souls? Do his good deeds warrant dismissing his bad deeds? Should we demolish any statues of him? Remove him from our currency?

Again the question arises as to where to draw a line. I am of a belief that such discussions should be made in public as well as in the halls of government. In no cases will their history be deleted.  We, the nation or we the world, will not, nor could we possibly ever, delete the body of knowledge that is written and archived as history of our nation.  By removing a statue, we are not ever denying or suppressing history. The question is this, what does that statue represent? Is the presence of a statue what the cross was meant to be for the Roman armies, a sign of intimidation, torture and punishment? What value does a statue of a Confederate military rebel hold who fought against the very founding ideals of this nation?

      The facts seem clear to me that statues are too powerful an entity that evoke too much power and too broad an interpretation so as to invoke not just a sense of history but also fear, intimidation and even a desire to ‘keep people in their places’. This is anathema to the very foundation of our nation and all we stand for, all we have fought for.

      Let the discussions begin, let the self evaluation, introspection and examen start in favor of growth and an unlimited inclusion that this nation was founded on. Destroying a statue does not destroy history and the process itself is one that speaks to our glorious tradition and purpose as a nation.

Easter in a Pandemic

Acts 10:34-35

Then Peter began to speak to them: ‘I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. 

       Somehow I got hooked into teaching religion classes. It will only take an hour a week! It is amusing just how many times I fell for that line. That may very well have been the beginning of the rather long journey to wholeness and coming out. That is not to say that I am nearly finished with my journey - I hope and pray.  I did have some crucial insights to pass along to the kids and I am familiar with a syllabus and following direction.

        One of the things that I wanted so very badly to impart was just how much God loves each and every one of them. It was a two pronged approach for me. One is to note that if each person were the only soul on earth, Jesus would still have willingly become incarnate and willingly be placed on the cross for whatever sins we have committed, thus freeing us from the tyranny of sin and damnation. The second was a bit more complex. Invariably I would pick a child from class and ask "what is your name?" The child would immediately say Johnny, or Joe, Kathryn or Mary, whatever the correct answer was. The point is that one's name is something we are certain of. When asked we know it without any doubt and we answer without hesitation. I would point that out to the children. Their name was something they "knew" without question. I told these youngsters that one of the purpose of these religion classes ws to impart a similar truth, a truth that they could always rely on without hesitation, without doubt, without question and it is always true. God loves them, each and every one with unique and unabashed specificity. Ok, I didn't say those last words exactly but I think you get the idea. God loves us each without question. I AM certain of that. It is true for all of us. Lest we forget it, know also that God loves the other bloke, at least as much as God loves me. Those were my two goals.

        It seems a bit ironic now that the world is in lock down and most of us are essentially in solitary confinement for the duration. Communal services cancelled and we are left alone - or so it might seem. We have to remember first of all that God is always with us, perhaps even closer when we are sitting by ourselves.What a wonderful, scary and beautiful opportunity to know that it is you and God alone together. You have ach others ears - and heart and soul. Nothing to stop you from praying now. Of course all sort of services are available on line. My own community is using YouTube as a platform for services. In that sense there may be an acute awareness that in some respect we are not alone. You know that there are others out there in the same boat even as you might seem to be maddenly lonely, hungry for human companionship.

         So here we have the essence of so much of Easter.  God loves you, just you. God still would have gone through this whole embracing of our humanity and dying just for you and you alone. It's important to know that as an adult just as much as I wanted the kids to know that.  Then too, as we know there are those others in the same boat, God loves them too. The prayer that Jesus left us does not begin, Heavenly Father. The prayer begins as OUR Father. We are really not alone at all - ever. In fact, perhaps the real challenge of this confinement is to live out a life of love when the only venue for human love is communal - in relationships.  Our worship is communal - relational. 
The Trinity is purely relational. Genesis notes that it is not good for man(kind) to be alone. Relationships and our humanity are difficult when we are alone or at leasts 6 feet apart.

       On Easter we celebrate the joy and hope of the Resurrection. We celebrate the joy and power of humanity in Jesus and the hope of eternal life. We celebrate the path Jesus showed us in how to live and love. All this is before us. Perhaps this year, more than any other in recent history, we can comprehend the resurrection but also the uncertainty that the Apostles felt when those first witnesses to the resurreccion, those three women, came and spoke of the risen Jesus. That news , our news today is still filled with uncertainty and doubt because we are in the midst of this pandemic.  The Apostles were in doubt for a different reason but we know the feeling for sure. What will become of us? Has Jesus really risen? We are saved? We don't really feel it yet - and so we wait in solitude, perhaps even in a bit of doubt.

         One thing each of us do know for certain - God does love me. God died for me. God is risen and there is great joy and hope in that - it is the basis of our salvation. 

         Keep the faith. Know God loves you. Live in hope and joy. Happy Easter.
        

Down time, airplane mode, whatever it takes.

Matthew 11:28

     "Come to me, all of you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest".

       It was a 3 hour flight from our Island retreat to the glitz and glamour that beckoned outside McCarran Airport. My husband turned off 'airplane mode' and was immediately struck by pings and alerts. There were so many e-mails and phone messages awaiting.  One person had left at least a dozen messages in that 3 hour window. Hello!!?? Are you there? This is a real estate emergency!!!!

       In my husbands line of work, people have an expectation of immediate gratification or they will seek out the next professional in ther line of sight. It seems everyone actually wants to be tethered 24/7 to their phones and the world.

       How interesting it is now that so many of the entire world are quarantined to their homes.  I myself posted  a meme on facebook about preparing a large batch of cocktails for this evening. Well, let's make that for lunch, say 10:30 am? Times are tough indeed. And yet, we are all seemingly still tethered to the outside world by social media and the telephone. I suppose if you 'turned yourself off' or turned on airplane mode for longer than an hour, people might call 911 to have someone come and check on you. Did they succumb to the virus? How come they aren't answering their phone? I know they are home.

       One of the unique features about this year that people have not experienced in generations is that public services and the communal celebration of Easter has essentially been cancelled. There will be no Easter service, not even with fist bumps or people spaced 6-8 feet apart in church. There will be no Easter egg hunts and no shopping for Easter outfits or even Easter bonnet, no Easter Lamb with the fixin's and family. We are stuck at home. Sadly, we are not taking any of our 'down time' to disconnect from the world and reconnect with God.

        This morning, with all sorts of recreational activities here at home cancelled, no pickleball, no tennis, no pool, no golf or gym,  we will be try to find some exercise and relief from containment by going on a bike ride around the community. We can easily get in 10 miles which is a pleasant jaunt among the water, palms and alligators.

        I am acutely aware of the problems the world is in. The problems cannot help but intervene in our lives as we are hunkered down only to hear of who died of the Covid-19 virus or say silent prayers for those loved ones on the front lines of care. How about we take some solid time for real prayer ad some quality down time. I mean, let's put our lives on airplane mode. What gift have we be graced with, by whatever horror we are truly experiencing it, we can now truly be silent and pray to God. Thank you for your Son. Thank you for your peace and unending love.

         All we need do is stop and listen; stop and ask.  For downtime and airplane mode, I give thanks and pray.

     

Tree bark and body positive

Luke 24:32

       I started a new novel yesterday, something that has become quite commonplace in these years that mark my retirement. I have many interests and reading for pleasure is one of them especially after years of detailed religious treatises and volumes of medical journals and continuing education. The latter never really made my heart burn the way today's passage relates. 

      In my current book I came across the word "cachondo" which in the book, the protagonist does not even know what it means. I certainly did not. It is later revealed to mean "Funny.Rowdy.Sexy.In heat". Basically, horny. It seems to me that is something that people are often passionate about.

         A part of my 40-day devotional, this passage today has the author, our leader or muse, speaks about the beauty of a tree bark. As an outdoorsy person, I have often looked at trees in wonder and appreciation. I will confess that I have never quite shared the enthusiasm or 'the burning of the heart' over any particular tree bark. And so, I begin to think about the things that make my heart burn and whether I burn over simply the superficial.  As a member of the gay community there are often unrealistic standards set for the body beautiful. It is so superficial and I think a standard whose time has come - to be edited, curtailed or deleted. What is it we wish our hearts to burn over - simply the superficial?

          I was thrilled to see that Abercrombie finally has embraced this idea even to some small extent with the addition of new models that shun it's body shaming past with body positive models. ( You can google it )  Perhaps a bit more like my husband and myself who have seemingly perfected that 'dad-bod' that seems to have gained some acceptance.

          I am going to confess right here, and in Lent, that what makes my heart burn 
(yikes, yes, horny) is my husband. He has it all, the intelligence, the personality, decency, witt and a great dad bod. Yep, he makes my heart burn. While the rest of the world burns for eight pack abs and the like, I snicker to myself because I have got the real deal, the entire package, the best there is. I have the tree and the bark and I know it!

         This may seem too sex oriented for a Lenten reflection but really it is spot on. First sex is a magnificent gift that God created and made an intricate part of us. It is a part we should revel in. But also, know that in more general terms and especially in Lent, we should perhaps look at the world in more than superficial terms. 

          Is it possible that in this time in the world where we are all sequestering and placing ourselves in voluntary quarantine, we can take the time finally to sit and look around at the beauty in the bark all around us? It seems Abercrombie is coming around and that is a huge plus.  What sights and gifts are right in front of you that you may simply dismiss from familiarity or busyness?

          From Dad bods to bark, let us look, see and appreciate.

Body perfect

       Jesus was embodied, incarnate. Bodies must be important. This is a selection from my Lenten devotional series. It is not a passage from scripture but it is a jumping off point I chose, as the author chose a selection from Jeremiah about us needing rest 

( Jer. 6:16 ).

       I have long held a personal belief that God is totally available and revealed in the world. This belief may have come from the fact that I grew up in a religious tradition that excelled at philosophy, intricate thought processes and treatises which I often call 'circular logic'. That 'faith' goes to enormous lengths to justify, rationalize and concretize their positions about God. It would seem that only the intellectuals can truly understand God. God is revealed in the religious intellectual elite. Not so!

       I believe that the entirety of creation screams out as a witness to God. I believe that you do not in fact need a formal education to see God, She is revealed in for every single aspect of creation to see.  From the rising of the sun, to the magnificence of a flower, to the wind that comes and goes, ALL are a witness to God. Everything reveals a facet of God's created world. No treatises required.

        It is with this thought in mind that I think of our terminal human bodies. Terminal yes, like a leaf or a flower but a witness to creation none the less. What do our bodies say to us?  They need sustenance and rest. Very important points. Our sexuality is an intricate part of our bodies as well. That too is very important, it is very telling about God and it needs to be expressed. Our bodies reveal so much about God, all good, all should be explored, expressed and revelled in. In case you see the writing on the wall here, revelled in, cherished, expressed but NOT abused or disrespected.

         When I contemplate the need for our body to rest, I am not far from the realization that our body's sexual needs are normal, beautiful and should also be expressed. It reveals so much about God.  How many of us grew up though with complicated and guilty thoughts about our sexuality? Mine certainly played a role in why it took me 50 years to come to the realization that I am a gay man.  I really tried to be such a good Roman Catholic boy! In the simplicity and joy of our sexuality, we need not get caught in the mire of religiously created stigma and overly 'thoughtful' rationalizations for what our bodies are for or not for. Overt and covert religious involvement of our own personal temples actually disrespects God and is more about an agenda that allows and promotes male dominance and control over everyone else's genitals.

          This Lent, as we try to come to a more full understanding of our humanity, we should not dismiss a crucial part of our humanity which is our body. Our bodies are intricate mechanisms that need to be discovered, cherished and respected. They are a gift from God and reveal so much about the nature of God herself.

             Vive notre sexualite!

       

When you are smiling

Phillipians 4:4

       Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice

     
      I really like the profile picture of my FaceBook page. I have a gentle smile that speaks to the fact that I am really happy ( or really dopey ). I am in fact, very happy.

         I had occasionally made note of individuals that seem to smile 'too much'. I couldn't put my finger on it but they seemed to be rejoicing at something, they seemed to be in on a joke I hadn't heard, they might just be crazy fools who smile at everything - even when the world is crumbling. I didn't get it. So much crap going on in the world and these people are smiling away like Forest Gump or Gomer Pyle. 

       One of the side effects of discovering, admitting to myself and publicly    acknowledging that I am gay is that it made me a much happier person. I had worked at the same medical facility for over 35 years. People who had seen me for eons noticed how much happier I was. I was nicer to be around, I seemed to be a better person. To me it seemed that all of the pieces that I had at my command, within myself, gelled better when I came out. I had studied theology, taken countless courses, had a spiritual director and been on countless retreats. It wasn't that they were for naught but outcomes seemed shy of successful until one of the seemingly most elusive puzzle piece was found. Dan is gay. The smile on my face is genuine and deep.

      The world is still far from perfect. So many people fight against thier very nature to be good. People run around like a dog chasing their tails for goals set by someone else for someone else. Materialism is a pox on humanity. Yet, I still am smiling. What the story??

        I have heard the secret joke, I am "in" on the seemingly hidden story. The story is how much God loves me. I can tell you with assurety that God loves you too. I can say it many ways to try and convince you. I am not sure what would convince you, God made you so purpose built and with such love and devotion, it is as if you were the only creation he was working on. There is no other like you for sure. God perhaps woke up one morning, stretched his arms, groaned a bit from a good nights sleep and said, "hmm. today I think I will give the world what it needs, I am going to create you". The rest is mere biology. The quest then becomes to discover the essence and beauty of you that God created, intended, wants you to be.  In the acknowledgement, in the thankfulness comes great joy. Yikes, then you have that 'affliction too" , that smile, that deep abiding smile. An appreciation of yourself, a thankfulness, great joy.



       

           

     

Daily prayers

Psalm 55:17

       This may seem the exact opposite about which I wrote yesterday. I am not talking today about keeping the Sabbath and trying to ( for at least one day ), remember God and be attentive to creation and yourself.

       In today's devotional for Lent, the tables have been turned on me. The thought presented is the admonition to pray unceasingly as I was taught in Seminary. It truly was a joyous time. We would gather several times a day in the chapel with the seminarians facing each other. We would responsively read or chant our prayers, the resulting aural bouquet rising to the heavens. It was glorious.  The "Liturgy of the Hours" became a great strength to me, the chapel a cozy place to sit and pray and simply 'be' with God.

         The idea of praying to God  multiple times a day is an ancient tradition that was likely a practice that even Jesus did as a devout Jew.

         I recall the period of my life when I was working a hectic job and unhappy with myself, the cracks in the wall of my  sexuality beginning to appear ever so slightly and I was an ordained minister too. My spiritual adviser had already convinced me of the need to set time aside each day for prayer.  The more I had resisted and explained my plethora of daily tasks from cooking, cleaning, child care, work in operating room and then continue the domestic routines after that each day, the more he insisted and explained that he wasn't telling me when or how. He simply noted that if I am serious about this relationship ( with God ) I had to make some adjustment to commit to the task of listening and speaking to God. I wound up getting myself up and doing 'the hours' at a seemingly ungodly 2:30 or 3 am. I would get to the operating room at 4:30 or 5 a.m. fresh with a commitment to God, my fellow workers and my brothers and sisters ( our patients ). By eight a.m. I likely would respond to my coworkers with a grunt and a scowl. My early morning peace did not always last too long. Is this a confession?

          Taking the time out at multiple points of your day, either formally as with the Liturgy of the Hours or informally as you give God some time as you drive or walk down the hallway, is an admirable, ancient and proper practice.  It might be something you want to do in Lent if not the rest of your life. God does not love us only while we participate in Mass or do some extra holy act of love and generosity at a given point of the day or week. God has our back 24/7/365. God loves us with such reckless abandon that we might find it almost incomprehensible if we think about it as we should.  My 'confession' is that in speaking to God we are not made perfect - at all. Maybe we will even be more consciously aware of our faults. We may still harbor ill thoughts or wave to the other drivers on the road with less than 5 fingers. What we will have started though in consistent daily prayers is a conversation with God. God will speak back if we then take time to listen. God always responds to us in Her unabashed and total love. No, prayer will not make us perfect but it helps keep us on a path to wholeness and holiness, ever mindful of our role in God's plan of love, thankful for all the graces we have been granted.

For unceasing prayer and our Lenten, if not life journeys we pray.

Leviticus: One day of the week at least

Lev. 23:3

       I am not one that usually throws references to Leviticus out there simply because it is so often taken so literally. Taken out of context, it is often used rather selectively to bash the gay community. But this reference from my Lenten program seems rather appropriate and I thought I would approach the subject.

       Lent seems to be a time when at the very least we try to stay focused on growing in our relationship with our Creator, appreciating what God has done for us, especially in taking on the mantle of humanity. We also are trying to be fully human ( as Jesus was ) , cooperative with whom God created us to be as a beloved creation. We try to take on a share of that sacrifice offered up for each one of us. We often try to share in that by 'giving something up'. 

       In our Lenten pre-meeting, our own Pastor suggested that among other attributes, we make our sacrifice 'doable'. I still recall last year and my participation in 'reading the Bible in 90 days. That was an abysmal failure. I could not keep up. I suggest you don't do that for Lent unless you are Trappist monk with unlimited time on your hands to fulfill the task. Similarly a young lad agreeing to be totally chaste for Lent might be a bridge too far when you consider the raging hormones and the array of ways in which we can be un-chaste, no matter how good our intentions. 

       One of the fundamental ways we can be faithful to our journey is by honoring Sunday as a day of rest and a day focused on our relationship to God.  No matter how much we can do good and stay focused 6 days of the week, we can focus on that 7th in a special way. With all good intentions to get up early every day and pray, read scripture, meditate or some other unwieldy offer, perhaps we can simply try to honor God's created world, our brother and sisters, all of creation and ourselves by making one day special each week.  That isn't to say spending the entire day on our knees in prayer or in church. It need not be some overly formalized task of worship. If you think of Mass as the main course, the rest of the day can be filled with so many varied ways to fill the menu with thanks, rest, honoring and loving God, each other and ourselves. Yes, ourselves!

         One day of the week at least, devoted to God and self. Nice. Happy Lent!

       

Kneeling at the Rail.

       All jokes aside about gay men or good Catholics on their knees, I am not so good at it these days.  Gravity of course helps but it is the getting up from that communion rail that is a bit slower and more cautious these days. A knee brace certainly helps. If I had been ordained today and not years ago, I would still be laying on the Cathedral floor, I'd need something nearby as leverage to get up off that marble floor.  One of the things about God and church. . . .and Lent, is that it is a common journey. Of course we all have a different journey but it is a commonality that we all share.

           While we each muster our our strength for our own cocoon , challenges, growth and tasks, even simply getting up from the Communion rail, Christianity is all about others, community and acknowledging that God loves the 'other' at least as much as God loves me. So when we worship in any form, at the rail, in the pew, in the fields or on a mountaintop, it is not just about me, me, me! We are all connected and to grasp our faith, whatever faith that is, we must know we are all brothers and sisters.

         I intentionally mentioned worship on the mountaintop because there are countless instances where I have found God in those 'thin spaces' if you will, outside of a formal Church setting. In hiking in Utah, hammering nails for Habitat, biking in the farm country back roads or sitting on a jetty, I find God is awesome and ever present. Of course you have to open your eyes and listen, that might be a blog for another day, I digress. The point is that with all the problems of formal Religions and the church politic, many people are seeking God in these alternate scenes, those thin spaces that seem to speak loudly to our soul. I am all for that. Lord knows how disillusioned if not angry I have been with the Roman Church of my youth.  But here's the rub, that is a fine excuse at face value to ignore a church or communal worship but it neglects an absolutely huge dimension of our faith that I alluded to above.

         We are not alone. If I seek those thin spaces on my own, I am not participating in a community that needs me and that I so desperately need.  The "I don't need to go to church to be holy" crowd is patent bullshit. It is so much a limited truth as to be almost an outright lie. We need each other. We need to be there for each other as a support. And in case you aren't there yet, know this especially, others need your presence.  Do not ever demean or dismiss the value of your presence in Church. You cannot be replaced by someone else that will be there. That is simply a cop out.

         As much as I find it difficult to get down on my knees to pray, I really need to  simply get my ass into church. While other forms of worship are certainly valid and will connect you to God, this Lent is a special time for all of us and our presence is almost required for the good of the entire community. Even if you do not have a community that you routinely call your own or where you feel welcome, do not dismiss the value of your guest appearance and the gift of who you are to the rest of the congregation, to creation. God does not make junk as they so. Evangelize by your presence.

First Friday of Lent, getting up to speed.

       One of the hallmarks of any Lenten Journey is a devotion to Scripture. Jesus no longer walks this earth, the Scriptures are all we have. While we know that the Scriptures are fraught with agenda driven translations, mistranslations and omissions, we also know that the word of God is there. The message of God's love comes through and there are intentional messages however marred by human hands.

       Yesterday on an LGBTQ Facebook page, someone chose to admonish everyone that the Bible clearly states that God created male and female and no other brands or varieties are noted. It is right there for us to read.  I am certain that is not the truth of the matter. Yes, that is what Genesis says but are we to take that literally?  Isn't the book of Genesis with it's own clear contradictions more of a notation of the truth that God created the world. Genesis puts it down in a way the human mind can grasp it. The truth is a wee bit more complex. To find the real depth of the truth, we must look at our created world, the world that beams and glistens with evidence of God in every nook and cranny. Ancient man could understand only so much. Would they understand the concept of the Big Bang? Muons? Mesons? Quarks? How about cells and molecules?  I think Genesis is just right for a godly generalization. If we look into the world God created, we see that homosexuality is not an aberration but a common feature. There are even creations that exhibit the qualities of both male and female in one!  The world we see is quite telling and diverse. It is no less a valued tool in the witness of God's creation and love.

      Why am I going into such detail to seemingly diminish the value of Scripture?  When Scripture is all we have, we are best to make the best use of it. We are well advised to make sure we understand it flaws, corrections and limitations. I often note the story of the Roman Centurion who sought out Jesus to cure his "pais". We have come to know that word pais as meaning a slave or servant. It isn't necessarily so. An agenda driven translation seems to omit the rather strong possibility that "pais" in the vernacular of the time actually referred to the subordinate same sex lover which was a very common practice of the times.  It doesn't translate to rape victim or pedophile but same sex lovers, partners. Clearly, this "pais" was very much loved by his partner or else the Centurion would not be seeking out this itinerant Jewish preacher to cure his sick 'buddy'.  I mention this so you can see how translations matter, how agendas matter, how context matters. Biblical scholarship is not a subject to be taken lightly.

          One of the first things that strikes me for this Lent is my attentiveness to how I read and learn about the passages I am reading. There are trusted sources and translations which we should all have and be comfortable with. Personally, I think the kings english is probably a translation considerably far from the truth or at least fraught with numerous translational and agenda driven errors.

          How can we trust what we are reading?! Is the world upside down? How are we to read Scripture and know what the truth is?  I have a reference library at my disposal. Trusted sources and translations in many different books and references.  I am not going to trust Fox News to give me a revealing truth about a passage that is certain.  If I google something I am not going with a source whose agenda promotes hate or ignorance. Is that redundant? 

        This Lent, as I am reading passages, I want to realize for myself that "I" am not the unerring word of God. "I" am not the ultimate reference source and do not have the final word.

         The Bible is set of books unto itself that speaks to us. We must read it carefully for sure. Scripture speaks to us at different points in our life, the Spirit revealing a different message from the same passage at another point in our life.  The Spirit is sort of funny that way.  In this way not only is translation important but we must never forget that the word of God and the Spirit are still very much alive.

           Do we still think that the Bible condones slavery? Has the Spirit helped us see that such practices are contrary to God's love of all Her creation?  Here's another one for you, do you realize that the life of the Apostles and the church ( Acts ) was more like a commune. Super right "Christians" rail against Socialism but the early church lived more like a commune, everything held for the common good ( Acts 2:44 ) What do our Christian values and the Spirit say to us about our wealth and the need of our brothers and sisters?  

         Read carefully. Read slowly. Meditate on the words and their meanings and what the Spirit is telling us, calling us to do and how to live.  I pray that I will seek out as much information as I can and not be as certain or self righteous about the meaning of words written down by man even when it is done so in the name of God.

         For our Lenten journey and the Word of God, I pray.

Embarking and returning at the same time

         In my journey towards closeness with God and the fulness of my humanity, one of the first things that I feel called to do is to reflect. I am not rushing out the door of my Lenten journey driving to an unknown destination at breakneck speed. Let me assess as I begin. Let me take stock of where I am and who I am. I am a sinner. Without comparison or judgment to one extreme or another, I am indeed a sinner.

        As a sinner, I cannot help but take the story of the prodigal son to heart.  As  I read with intent the entire story, I can see just how much God has invested in me. The 'long distance' glimpse, the love, forgiveness, the robe, the ring, the killing of the fatted calf and the celebrations should I simply choose to return.

         Any journey should really be well planned for. For Lent, some honest down time is essential. So is some honest self reflection. Such honest if not brutally honest self reflection should always be accompanied by the comfort that God is there with his/her arm around you. You are not alone. You are loved and cherished.

          Now is the time to return home to God. You are welcomed cherished, loved and celebrated.

           

Ash Wednesday prep.

       This Lenten season our faith community is reading Living The Way of Love  ( Mary Bea Sullivan ).  It is a 40 day devotional based on the Jesus inspired practices set forth by the Presiding ( Episcopal ) Bishop,  Michael Curry.

       In our preparatory meeting before Ash Wednesday our Pastor asked "Where do you want to be on Easter Sunday?"  This raised the memory of another few pastors from years gone by. One charged us with using Lent to become fully human. The goal he set forth was to engage all that God made us to be as a unique and intended being.  Could we cooperate with God's plan in creating us, fully human, fully alive? Still another preacher I will always remember spoke on Easter Sunday with an analogy of Lent having us all in cocoons and on Easter Sunday we emerge as magnificent butterflies, the intentful and joyous creations God made each of us to be.  But where do I want to be on Easter Sunday morning and how will these 7 Biblical practices help me?  Which ones speak to me in joy and which, if any, represent a stumbling block or a challenge if you will. An intriguing aspect of any journey where the destination is not known is a certain amount of fear. Am I willing to listen and respond to what God is asking of me? Will the transformation from cozy cocoon to butterfly paralyze me? Am I so comfortable now that I will not take the leap of faith or exercise the will needed to change and grow?

       What I want to be is a more fully alive and activated person in relation to my Creator. Beyond that, God only knows. I do know that the crux of the situation involves all that I have already learned, setting aside time each day specifically listening and some form of practice or prayer.

        One of the gifts I have been graced with is writing and so that can play a role. Another is my the use of the labyrinth which calls to me in a special way. 

       One thing I am reminded of in this planned journey into the unknown of God's all embracing love. At the time I was coming to terms with the fact that I am gay, I sought many avenues of assistance. Spiritual direction, therapy and of course prayer. Part of my prayer as I said, has been 'walking the labyrinth'.  The labyrinth closest to to me was one built at an Episcopal Franciscan Friary. Quite appropriately the paths were made of wood chips, bark and flotsam and jetsam. As I walked one particularly lonely evening contemplating the diverging paths of my life, both of which seemed impossible, I came across a shred of twine in the path. It was a short piece of string tied into a loop just the right size to be an adornment for a finger. I was magically whisked away to my friend Rita who had told the joke a long time ago about piece of rope that walked into a bar. The bar tender said "we don't serve rope here" whereupon the rope walked out.  Of course that piece of rope was now just a bit angry. He got himself into a terrible knot and his ends were now loose and in disarray. The rope walks back into the bar where the bar tender says, "I told you, we don't serve rope here". The Rope responds "frayed knot!"  Ok, so Rita and I should not give up our day jobs but that little joke that was summoned into by brain as I walked the labyrinth in time of need reminded me of an important thing about life with God, coming out of the closet or walking the journey of Lent. Do not be afraid. ( 'frayed? NOT! )  I may not know the end of journey for this Lent. The caterpillar has no idea that it will be a butterfly. What I do know is that this Lent I will be attentive to the journey and I will strive to respond to God's call without fear and with complete openness to whatever form of butterfly God intends for me.

      Happy Ash Wednesday.

Gay Pride Sunday

       It is my habit to arrive early for Sunday Mass and try to place myself in a proper mindset. One of things that I have found illuminating and a proper focus is the stained glass above the alter. It is a glorious Risen Christ portrait. The building itself is situated such that the moring light through this stained glass is breathtakingly beautiful. It has become a focal point for me every time I sit in the pew. Another part of my ritual is going through all the readings for the upcoming service. In this way I do not have to read along as the words are proclaimed by the lector.  I hope that I can then get a feel for the Spirit proclaiming those words through the person reading them.

         As I sat this part Sunday and read the Gospel in my silence I was struck yet again by the stained glass shining down on me. The stained glass colors are as bright as any pride flag, brighter than anything we ourselves can make. It is that synergy of meds or Vulcan philosophy where the sum of our parts is greater than any simple math could provide. Whomever created the image could take pride in a work that I feel transcends the mere selection of glass, the cutting and placing to create the image I see.

         The Gospel message from Matthew here today made me think also on Gay pride. Perhaps by exception, I feel challenged and hurt by those errant individuals who say that being prideful about being gay is wrong. And yet, I have a different experience, I hold a different and important truth that transcends being gay.

         It is not a human boast to revel in the gift of who we are as created by God. Let us not boast of anything of human design, judgement or designation but in the created beauty imbued in each of us for the glory of Her name.

           Just as the beauty of my stained glass muse is beautiful in its own right but elevated by God in its vision, message and meaning, so to the beauty of being gay is not an action but a celebration of a unique person and the capabilities, challenges and essence of the person. By accepting oneself, gay or otherwise, and the unique gifts and talents so imbued, we take pride in the fact that God made us this way and wishes us to live out Her plan for creation by honoring who we are. It is not a pride in a human accomlishent of our own but  pride in a cooperation  of a plan of divesity and beauty, as beautiful as the most beautiful and radiant stained glass.

       I pray today as always, that we accept the gifts that God has created in us and as a unique individual. We are a peice of cut crystal for the most beautiful of stained glass to help give a total vision of Gods love and light.  Take pride in whom God created you to be.Without you the picture of Gods love is no complete, nor as glorious as She intends.

Matthew 5:13-20

‘You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

A discernable truth about the role of women and more

       I think it might be an excellent form of meditation or Lexio Divina if you will, to read this passage from John and note all the problems that Jesus brought up that does not jive with the status quo, even for today. Jesus was quite the rebel. If one passage can be a guide to the mindset of Jesus and what He intended to teach us, this is one of those passages.

        One of those lessons is the role of women. Perhaps it is appropriate then that the Episcopal church recognizes today Holy Woman, Florence Li Tim-Oi. Florence was the first women to be ordained a Priest in the Anglican Communion on this date in 1944, that is over 75 years ago and almost 2000 years after Jesus died for us. How magnificently beautiful, right and just this Ordination was. Jesus' life story, ministry, death and resurrection is replete with woman who played primary roles in the incarnation story and redemption of humanity only to have it quashed by the male dominated church of Rome. Sadly, the same kind of ignorance befell the Anglican Communion for Mother Florence, there were protests over her ordination. Courageously, her Priestly status was renewed and she later ministered as Priest in Canada.  Mother Florence's life looms large like that of my beloved Mother Paulette   ( blog entry from October 9, 2016 ), who perhaps helped invent the term 'still she persisted', long before it was officially coined.

         The fact that God plays no preference in the role of women as equal heirs and ministers of God's word and plan, while lost on most of humanity ( especially men ), is a cornerstone of Jesus' life which we should honor, foster and emulate.

           Making this truth live is a challenge for all believers and for all of humanity. The passage though also points to the fact that the message of Jesus, his salvation for mankind, is often aimed at the marginalized, the poor, the sinners and the outcasts.  In today's passage the woman was, well, a woman. Low enough if you will in that time. To make matters worse, she was a Samaritan and was 'living in sin' if you would believe the conservative riff raff.  This woman of John's Gospel was lower than low, clearly not someone that Jesus should even give a moment of recognition to. Yet Jesus' actions and voice speak to another reality.

          Who are the lowest of the low today? And by that I do not mean to judge. I mean, who is considered the lowest of the low by the power elite? The Conservative right? The male dominated Roman Church?  Who in general does society look down upon? We should know that those people are precisely the ones Jesus would engage and not to demean, ridicule or foist arrogant and hypocritical repentance on. Jesus would welcome the perceived outcast as he did throughout his entire ministry, as welcomed, equal and loved. ALL equal and loved creations of the Father  ( Mother? ). 

       For the sake of further example, let us look at the Roman Centurion in the Gospels of  Matthew and Luke.  Note that the Centurion would not be a welcome personage to any Jew, he was the face of the occupying army. That army was brutal and efficient in the dispensing of their authority. So it would seem odd at best that such a man of power would seek out this itinerant Jewish preacher who would not be recognized as anything, much less the Messiah. Yet the Centurion comes in search of a cure for his "pais".  As the history of a male dominated church shows, the agenda driven translation and words are often twisted. We would most commonly refer to a 'pais' as a servant or slave. This is the translation we are most likely familiar with, it is what we were taught. And yet, the whitewash is that 'pais' actually refers to the subordinate male same sex lover that was quite common and accepted in the Roman army of the time. See how things get twisted? Jesus did not flinch to listen or cure this pais. Of course you can see how broad and expansive Jesus' love and ministry is too, or is supposed to be if the words had been translated and accepted as it was intended.  The fight for Scriptural purity and the all inclusive message that Jesus lived and preached is a constant battle and a call for all of us.

        The lesson for today is that God's love is expansive and all inclusive. No judgment, only love. Today especially we remember a woman who breached the barrier of God's call limited by men. 

       For God's call to all of us, may we open our arms, heart and soul to everyone as beloved sisters and brothers. We pray.
       

          

John 4:16-26

Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come back.’ The woman answered him, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You are right in saying, “I have no husband”; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, I see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshipped on this mountain, but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.’ The woman said to him, ‘I know that Messiah is coming’ (who is called Christ). ‘When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am he,the one who is speaking to you.