Harvest time

     I get a real hoot out of people, usually fundamentalist preachers, that blame some natural calamity or disaster on a group of people they deem as sinful, unworthy, or morally reprehensible, usually the gay community. Ok, hoot is the wrong word. Disgusted, angry and appalled would be more accurate.  I have deep issues with God using his infinite power to punish anyone and especially what would probably be a good number of  innocent bystanders as well. The arrogance of people who proclaim to know God's intentions; who proclaim to know what is God's judgment and to proclaim limits on God's love. It is more than just wrong, it really is blasphemy of the highest order.

      Even if a group were to be judged as sinful by God, again, why would God punish innocents alongside the evil doers? I 'm not buying that at all. Balderdash!

      However, if ever I have read a close justification of a final judgment, this passage from Matthew rings pretty close to truth as I see it. Don't uproot the good with the bad, that makes sense. Wait until the harvest, then separate the good from the bad. Again, that makes sense.

       Of course now we'll have some piehole pronouncing how they know the date and time of that final harvest - judgment day. History is replete with them, I don't  see this form of arrogance ending either. I would note that Jesus said that not even He knew the time of the end - that only the Father knew that.

       I think it is better if we spend far less time judging, let God do that. God, not anyone in his name ( save the Lord himself ). Let us focus on emulating Christ and loving. and loving some more. I will willingly place myself in God's loving arms when I pass and trust in his mercy, safe in the knowledge He knows my heart. Does that sound like a good plan?

Matthew 13:24-30

He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?” He answered, “An enemy has done this.” The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?”  But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.” ’

Every human, Jesus said so

       When I asked my wife for a divorce many years ago, announcing I was gay after some tumultuous times and a great deal of therapy, one of the things that I was accused of by my in-laws was the damage that I had done to "the family".  It truly is a loaded statement for discussion which has never been addressed and I will not do so now, or ever.  What I find amusing however is the notion of what family is and how it seems to be defined.  If recent social history has taught us anything about families, it is the beautiful and extraordinary permutations of what a family is.  

         While an obvious observation of this passage might be that, 'hey, Jesus had brothers' , he wasn't an only child!, Jesus told us way back when that we are to consider everyone to be our brother and sister, every one is family if we accept that we are all children of God.  In fact, all of Judeo-Christian scripture is replete with examples of 'different' families.  Jonathan and David jump out to me first. Then there is Ruth and Naomi and who can forget Jesus' healing of the Centurions lover? Why are so called conservatives obsessed with the 'traditional family' that never really quite existed. In fact, looking back at Lot and his family as noted in Scripture seems to give an alternate example of 'family' and a template of what not to do. Abhorrent, really. So I have to chuckle when anyone speaks to the so called 'traditional family' or traditional family values. They wind up being the ones who are usually found out to be having torrid affairs of all sorts. Oh, those breeders, always into something bad.

      I think it was noted that family is not always the people who gave birth to you or the people you were raised with. Family is that group around you that loves you, nurtures you and looks after you . If you claim to be a follower of Jesus, we are called to embrace an even larger looking, perhaps odder looking group, all of humanity. The guy on the bus, the struggling farmer in some arid African country,  a refuge from some war torn country, a teen struggling to come to terms with their sexuality. Every human is our family, Jesus said so.

           

Matthew 12:46-50

While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’

Understanding

       I have to say that I love how Jesus takes on his detractors. They really haven't a chance. Isn't that a big 'duh!'  But hidden in this passage, right up front is a truth that we don't always tend to think about.

    That demoniac who is blind and mute. I wonder if he really was a demoniac at all or was it a lack of understanding? Just like the life we live today might seem like a magical perhaps even a demonic place to the ancients.  So too today, the things that are not understood often get derogatory labels.

      For example, in the time of the ancients the concept of Leprosy as Mycobacterium leprae would have made absolutely no sense. Leprosy was a term attached to more than the bacteriological disease we know today. A whole host of blemishes from warts, psoriasis, mold and the like were all lumped into the term 'leprosy'. Of course we seem to understand much more now, or do we?

      How do we handle things we do not understand? How do we deal with people that we do not understand? Cultures? Religions? 

       While Jesus healing is no less real, the man cured may not have been a demoniac  as much as someone misunderstood and easily labelled by the scripture writers. It gives me pause to think about the people who are different from the mainstream, especially since I am often considered one of them as a gay man. In a political climate which seems to thrive on scapegoating, how are we called to act, think and respond?

Matthew 12:22-32

Then they brought to him a demoniac who was blind and mute; and he cured him, so that the one who had been mute could speak and see.All the crowds were amazed and said, ‘Can this be the Son of David?’But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, ‘It is only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons, that this fellow casts out the demons.’ He knew what they were thinking and said to them, ‘Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then will his kingdom stand? If I cast out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own exorcists cast them out? Therefore they will be your judges.But if it is by the Spirit of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come to you. Or how can one enter a strong man’s house and plunder his property, without first tying up the strong man? Then indeed the house can be plundered. Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. Therefore I tell you, people will be forgiven for every sin and blasphemy, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

Assessing your fruit

     Part of the Ignatian spirituality is the Examen ( Eggs-A-men ). It's a self assessment about your daily life. If you followed Ignatian Spirituality it's something you would be doing at least once a day. From today's scripture passage it's a self reflection on the status of your fruit. 

      No matter what your personal beliefs, religion or philosophy, I think we can all ask ourselves what kind of fruit do we each bear and of what quality? If you think about what you believe and who you think you are ( "I'm a good person" ).  That's all well and good to say to others or even ourselves but the proof , as they say, is in the pudding. The proof really is whether or not our actions and lives are consistent with what we claim to believe in.

       I am stupefied and mortified at what the so called Christian right is doing in politics and elsewhere that is completely contrary to what Jesus taught, lived and is set down in  scripture. They claim to be apple trees and are growing rotten kumquats. "Pro life" but vote against a whole range of  efforts to assist humans in need from immigrants, to people in poverty, to elderly to simply normal people trying to care for their families. Their litmus test for being 'right' is anti-abortion which in case you don't get it makes you pro-birth and absolutely not pro-life.

         That of course is a whole political assessment. I am more concerned with my own personal evaluation and what kind of fruit am I bearing.  When we look ourselves daily as in the Examen or just for a periodic review, what kind of fruit do we bear and what is the quality of that fruit? Your decision to make. But please don't tell me you have good fruit, the best fruit and that everyone else says so. I think I'll barf.

Matthew 12:33-37

‘Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person brings good things out of a good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil treasure. I tell you, on the day of judgement you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.’

The Spirit of dating

      You might think that a 61 year old man would have quite a difficult time remembering what it was like to date. For a man that only came out at the age of 50, dating really was not so long ago. Many people who date get tired of it. Meeting people over and over, all seemingly with some variation of the same story. It gets tiresome. I didn't get tired of dating and it certainly wasn't a burden. I looked at it as an adventure. Getting to meet all sorts of different people, hear their stories, respecting and exploring seemed like fun. While dating for me was fun, I did meet that one person that made everything seem different. He was 'the one' for me, he is now my husband and his presence has made all the difference. I suppose if you went through this process for years it might get tiring. If you go through the process for years though, I think one might want to look more inward for some answers as to why the process was becoming burdensomely long. 

      When things repeatedly do not work out, you have to ask yourself about the process, what exactly you are looking for and what you yourself are bringing to the table. Perhaps it is something more material or shallow. That is not the basis for a real relationship, certainly not one that cooperates and elevates the true essence of either party. A real 'marriage' of two different people elevates, cooperates and actually creates something bigger and better than the two alone. When you meet that person, generally I think you know it. Maybe love at first sight, maybe it's that heady feeling that a person fully engaged and alive feels. It's intoxicating in effect.

      This is how I feel about this reading today. The Spirit to which we attest, that we see in love and feel and know about as real as the invisible air we breath, is very similar to that intoxicating feeling of love. Perhaps it is after all, actually one in the same. The Spirit which we receive in faith, in God, is one that cooperates, elevates and perfects not the materiality and worldliness of our existence but the essence of our being. Who we are in our essence and in our our totality. 

       The Spirit of love, the Spirit of God is ever present in our world. We can be creatures of the world, Madison avenue and all that superficial stuff. But like finding the perfect mate, sharing the intimacies of our beings, we are elevated by acknowledging and reveling in our own uniqueness. The recognition and revelation of us as spirit and material lets us know with intoxicating love that we are beautiful and lovable creations of God.

  

      

Romans 8:12-17

So then, brothers and sisters, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— for if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

Tectonic shifts

      

      A few weeks ago I had the extreme pleasure to see Hamilton on Broadway in New York City. What a spectacular experience. A piece of history that was easily overlooked conveyed the story in amazing music, the time a tiny upstart nation, those 13 colonies, beat the world's biggest superpower starting the noblest of experiments, the United States of America. Within that story, another story of that 'immigrant' , Hamilton, who helped shape that fledgling democracy. A tectonic change in human history. Through the music and lyrics you were brought in and wowed! Listening to the CD has subsequently only deepened the feeling of just how great the show was and how awesome that time was. 

       When I read today's scripture passage and hear about 'justice to Gentiles' I cannot help think of that tectonic change in human history. The Good news was being proclaimed to the Jews but Jesus "cured all of them" and  proclaimed justice to the Gentiles as well. The tectonic shift was that the small Jewish sect of Christianity went from embracing only the children of Abraham to all the children of God. Wow. What would the world be had that inclusiveness had not been embraced.? What would the world be like if Britain had won the war of Independence over those rinkydink colonies?

        The concept that we are all equal in the eyes of God is born out in each of these two tectonic shifts. Both call humanity to recognize the brotherhood of every human and calls it out as a beacon to the world. The USA and Christianity do not always do a good job of it, they fail and sometimes are miserable at it.  Thank God that this mission and our commission by God is not in the hand of bureaucracies 

but in our own fledgling little human hands.

      Do we realize the tectonic shifts we can create by our own personal loving, inclusiveness? The failures of some is not a valid excuse for us to not try. If anything we are called to try harder.  Even if we become a story long forgotten, the power of our love and loving actions will help make that tectonic shift that God seeks in love.

Matthew 12:15-21

When Jesus became aware of this, he departed. Many crowds followed him, and he cured all of them, and he ordered them not to make him known. This was to fulfill what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah: 
‘Here is my servant, whom I have chosen,
   my beloved, with whom my soul is well pleased.
I will put my Spirit upon him,
   and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles. 
He will not wrangle or cry aloud,
   nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets. 
He will not break a bruised reed
   or quench a smouldering wick
until he brings justice to victory. 
And in his name the Gentiles will hope.’

     

Grain pluckers

      

      Coming out when you are a Roman Catholic is not easy. There are so many things the faithful disagree with about that monolithic church but rarely does anyone say anything. There is a silent dissension to a whole range of official beliefs but there is no one at the door with a scanner that unmasks those beliefs. You are free in the privacy of your own home to practice birth control (No!). You are free to think Priests should be able to get married (No!) or that women should be Priests (No!). Doctrinal questions about Mary being assumed into heaven in her bodily form (No!) can be disagreed with. Even though a Deacon in our parish once railed that Catholicism is not a smorgasbord where you can pick and choose what you want to believe (No!), it actually is, and people do in fact pick and choose what they believe. They most often do so in the privacy of their own heart and mind. No mental minders exist at the altar rail when a divorced person comes forward for communion.  All this is tidy and nice, subversive perhaps. ( many of the faithful are probably better Episcopalians than Roman Catholics ). But what happens when you are gay? You certainly can be gay and keep it on the down low ( DL ) as they say. No one need know! (No!) But if you cannot bifurcate your personality and you have a shred of self respect you have to acknowledge that God made you gay. You have to come out especially since that church doctrinally brands you as "intrinsically disordered". No, if you come out in the Roman church the doctrinal police are there and at the ready. Parishioners or even the Pastor of a community might silently welcome you but one call on the diocesan/doctrinal hotline and you'd get the boot!

          How does this tie into the reading this morning? It is clear that Jesus did not obey all the rules nor did his disciples. In fact, Jesus is well known as a rabble rouser who railed against the tortuous man made rules of those temple elite who actually herded more people away from religion than towards the God who is calling us.  Jesus was not shy about calling out anyone. Jesus called truth to power and total love to the misery stricken and outcasts of society.

       Part of being a follower of Christ is emulating his actions and the notion (truth) that we cannot be silent in the face of wrongs. We cannot be silent in our own churches and we cannot be silent in the face of political ignorance and inequity. We must all speak truth to power. This means speaking up and not on the DL. We have to be at the front lines - always! This may put us in harms way but we are complicit if we allow silence to be taken as tacit approval.

       This means the pews of the Roman church should really be emptied and the Episcopalian church should be filled to the rafters with people who truly are free to believe what you wish to believe. I call them and have called myself, recovering Catholics. 

        Our commission by Jesus though also calls us to be out and proud. Eager and proud to acknowledge whom God created us to be. To not come out is a self loathing act of disrespect for God's creation in you. We must be honest, self respecting and visible. The gay community at large gets this. Call truth to power in church and work and in our lives.  Do not bifurcate your life for anyone, Jesus lived and died so we all can be out and proud whether you are gay or straight. Be a grain plucker of the highest order!

Matthew 12:1-14

At that time Jesus went through the cornfields on the sabbath; his disciples were hungry, and they began to pluck heads of grain and to eat. When the Pharisees saw it, they said to him, ‘Look, your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the sabbath.’ He said to them, ‘Have you not read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God and ate the bread of the Presence, which it was not lawful for him or his companions to eat, but only for the priests. Or have you not read in the law that on the sabbath the priests in the temple break the sabbath and yet are guiltless? I tell you, something greater than the temple is here. But if you had known what this means, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice”, you would not have condemned the guiltless. For the Son of Man is lord of the sabbath.’

He left that place and entered their synagogue; a man was there with a

withered hand, and they asked him, ‘Is it lawful to cure on the sabbath?’ so that they might accuse him. He said to them, ‘Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the sabbath; will you not lay hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the sabbath.’Then he said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and it was restored, as sound as the other. But the Pharisees went out and conspired against him, how to destroy him.

Haughty or humble

     One of the things that strikes me today about today's passage is that it speaks in terms of gentleness and a humbleness of heart. Jesus is not a haughty soul as so many preachers are today. Jesus taught by example and teaches us to do the same.  

      I was on line at a table loaded with food. It was a welcoming back picnic for the seminarians and family. The event had started and the line was rather long, filled with eager youngsters and adults alike. Along comes our bishop who promptly came up to me and asked "you don't mind if I cut in front of you, do you?" What is a young seminarian to say? The humbleness in my heart said "of course" while the intelligent side said "how fucking rude". Not a fine example. It turns out he was not a good example of almost anything except how to lie, obfuscate, cover up abuses and live the high life. The examples were all noteworthy and thankfully, newsworthy. He was a horrible man. A good example of how not to act as this passage goes. Of course the same can be said for so many televangelists, there lives, travel, homes. Far from the Christly example set forth by our Saviour. 

      What ever happened to "live simply so others can simply live"? How can we step back to let others step forth. How much have we been blessed so we could easily let others step forth to the table of God's graces and gifts?

       This will dictate how I try to live today. My daily day long meditation. God's peace.

     

Matthew 11:25-30

At that time Jesus said, ‘I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’

The pesky devil and the details

     I am certainly not anything close to a "Doctor of the (Catholic) Church" but I do understand a great deal of what makes the Roman church tick. I did attend Seminary and get a Master's degree from them. So much of the beliefs that have been promulgated are based on tradition and the writings or philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas. It is with St.Thomas in mind that the notion of cooperation of what God has supposedly intended us to be that most positions are held.  The eternal purpose of humans is to procreate and thus so many 'sins' are based on whether we 'cooperate' with that belief. Sex is for procreating alone. Humans are seen as strictly binary and so anything different from that is considered anathema. Being gay is considered "intrinsically disordered". Birth control does not cooperate with God's plan for us procreating (according to the Roman church). From the vantage point of the Roman church, it would seem you can even derive the position of male domination since women were created to bear children. Theoretically then, women should simply stay home and bear children. That odious old barefoot and pregnant  idea.

      I find the idea of St. Thomas' musings guiding anyone today unenlightened and frightfully ignorant. His view of man and the world is out of date, simplistic and his logic only seems to perpetuate the theories the Roman church wanted in the first place. Examples of the circular logic ideas that I rail against. The notion of what is and is not a sin ( according to that Roman church ) is clearly within reasonable doubt if not simply highly suspect.

        If the nature of sin is in question, then the nature of Satan may be as well.  Satan, according to what we are told is a fallen angel. A creation of God that chose his own way instead of God's way. This falls in line philosophically with the churches teachings and especially justified by the early church having to deal with the competing or different philosophies of cultures as Christianity spread. Romans and Greeks viewed things differently. These views had to be either 'corrected' or assimilated into what was being preached by a new Judeo-Christian church.

         Satan is yet another construct of man to convey an essence of truth about our relationship with our Creator. We have the ability or perhaps propensity to turn our back on God. We can do it in small matters or in a wholesale fashion, one which some people would call "mortal sin".  The idea of St. Thomas and the rules and rubrics create a dynamic in which man sins by dong this or that, not doing this or that and by creating scapegoats in society. That is, those that do not conform to their view of the world. It is in these man made errant views that I differ enormously in what constitutes a sin or what Satan is.

       The truth though is that no matter what your definition or source of judgment, no matter what religion or philosophy, man does err, man commits evil acts individually and in unison. That is the source of evil and that paradigm is what has been 'humanized' into Satan. Pitchforks and rubrics be damned, Satan exists in our propensity to not cooperate with God's plan of love. It s the definition of 'what is God's plan' that I have a vast disagreement.

      We are still called to love and we still pray to follow the way of love in our lives. It is really the only thing I write about. Our commission as humans is to love and be loved. 

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

Rescued!

     I am not sure I am qualified to even comment on the times that God has rescued me.  Of all the things that I try to be aware of, or be present to, being saved from precarious situations is not one of them.  How many times was I too naive to see I was being offered a good time? How many corners of trial did I miss because of one thing or another. I have no doubt whatsoever that God has saved me from so much evil, temptation and sin.

     One of the reasons I feel so convinced is because there have been numerous times that I have had quite in my face rescues. The time I was skidding sideways on an icy Adirondack road towards the guard rail ( and imminent cliff ). I stopped with a resounding thud. Only then did I realize I had been on 2 wheels sideways and the thud was the other 2 wheels of my car 'landing' on the icy roadway. Rescued!
  
      Of course another time I was right here in my neighborhood in my brothers' forward van stopped at a light. On that drizzly morning a fuel oil tanker truck rear ended a Corolla at the opposing intersection. The Corolla flew off like a crocket ball and sent the oil truck  spinning like a top on the slick pavement. My brother and I sat there slack jawed as the spinning truck seemed to aim directly at our stopped van. The truck in fact stopped a mere three feet in front of us, nose to nose. I chuckled a very nervous chuckle for days at the prospect of what a fireball we might have become. Rescued!

       There are other stories as well, too countless to note here for sure. What they tell me is how God is watching and rescuing me all the time. Perhaps out of sheer love for me, perhaps out of good Karma, perhaps I have been saved because I have some more work to do in this realm. I have no doubt that if God has rescued in mere physical things, I have also been so rescued in spiritual things. Perhaps Jesus death on the cross is the biggest rescue of them all, eh?

       Like I said, of all the things I think about and try to be cognizant of, spiritual rescues has not really been among them. Perhaps they should. It certainly is something for each of us to think about. And if we don't know what spiritual situations in life God has rescued us from, well, maybe that's a better thing. The physical rescues have been scary enough. 

        Yes I have been rescued and pray to be continually rescued. I know how much God loves me and all of us.  

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

Tempted?

      There is so much temptation in the world. Any way you define it, opportunities abound all day long to do the wrong thing. I don't believe anyone really wants to do the wrong thing either. It's just that sometimes it seems easier to do the wrong thing however shortsighted or selfish. Saying yes to opportunities to things that might hurt us, the ones we love or our brothers and sisters .  

        I guess it might come down to WWJD. That seems pretty simplistic but it is a major step forward. That kind of question has us thinking about what we do instead of acting impetuously, blindly and without thought or consideration for anything.  Asking WWJD is not really such a bad idea.  Of course then we can get caught up in all kinds of rationalizations. We can respond to temptation out of hurt, our propensity to have justice on our own terms instead of Gods and whole host of other reasons why we might tell ourselves that this or that is ok.

       Living a virtuous life isn't easy. Facing temptation , acknowledging it and taking the better path isn't as easy as some disconnected Christian hypocrites would have you believe.  Living life fully engaged, loving and caring is not for the faint of heart or the thoughtless. Praying for God to help us avoid temptation and to make the right choice is an acknowledgement that we need guidance and we seem prone to make the wrong choice.

       Temptation just seems like something we might want to give some thought and prayer to. 

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

My debtor and me

       One of the things that I found amusing when my kids were growing up was the earnest ratting out of someone.  'Johnny threw a rock at me' was never followed by 'after I threw a rock at him first'. Such juvenile taking of the fifth was easy to see through. I always tried to convey that partial truths are really still nothing but lies.

       This might call for some brutal honesty on our parts because after all, not all of us may have learned the lesson about partial truths and lying.  The fact is we are forgiven by God for everything. Those willing and open arms of our loving God are always there for us. The prodigal son ( us ) is always welcomed back and not only without stipulation but we are also celebrated when we actually do return.

       The problem is that while we can verbalize that God has forgiven us, we somehow have the gall to not forgive ourselves. The reason might easily be that when we ask for forgiveness we never seem to get to the part of our own culpability. We may have even convinced ourselves after years and years of this routine that we are truly innocent - the victim!  Can we be honest enough to see our own role in what goes on around us?  We are hardly the innocent ones. There was always a first rock thrown in whatever form that has taken. Even if we are accessories to what is going on or silent when we are seeing things going on, we are still guilty. I think on some level we all know this kind of guilt and it is one of the reasons that we have difficulty forgiving ourselves even when God has forgiven us.

         The thing is though, God has forgiven us and knows the plot, the story, the flaws and what was omitted in our acts of contrition. God forgives us anyway! freely. The love is there from God to us, is the love there from us to ourselves? to our neighbors? to our families? to strangers? Not as easy. I am sure God understands our fears, our humanity. God still forgives and so we are called to forgive others as we are forgiven. 

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

Debtors prison

     When I was a bit younger I was very unwise with money. I lived well beyond my means and was in serious consumer debt. It took a wise mentor, a concerted effort and many years to return me to the plus side with greater financial freedom. If given a free reign many of us succumb to the temptations all around us, easy credit, Madison Avenue trying to convince you that you want and deserve every new toy and you simply must keep up with the Jones.

      It seems to me there is another kind of debt that we incur as well. God gives us quite freely and graces us with inordinate amounts of love, relationships and opportunities. I would say that God loves us with reckless abandon.  When we look at our lives and see all those gifts, graces, talents, treasures, what do we do to repay all that?  

       Eons ago, I had been asked by an old pastor to speak to the parish community on tithing. He was an unusual Irish Catholic Priest in the best way possible. First, a Catholic parish tithing seemed unheard of. Father saw that I was giving religiously each week and decided I was the one to speak. He wanted me to convince the parishioners to, at the very least, make a concerted effort at giving. Make it a budgetable item, not nickeling or dollaring like so many people do.  Further would ask that we try to approach a goal of 5 %. 
( an actual tithe means 10 % ). He wanted me to convey that we surely give to so many other worthy causes in life, which was in essence giving thanks to God, that we should consider a defined amount and that only 5 % should be our goal. I myself was giving nowhere near 5% but I was consistent.

     The point is not to determine how much money you give to God via some church establishment, though they have real, legitimate bills like everyone else. The point is, what if anything do we do to repay all the gifts that God has given us? 

       Consider: how much in debt are you to God?

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

Sins, sins and more sins

     Heaven help us, we are a stiff neck people.  We take 3 steps forward at times and 4 steps back.  We are enamored with our own creations which supplant the appreciation and love due the real Creator. God knows this. Somehow, God loves us anyhow. God must see more than we see. Heaven knows God tries to drag us forward seemingly kicking and screaming as Jesus and the Holy Spirit reveal so much of Gods love and destiny for us.

     Casting aside what the definition and difference is between mortal and venial sins, I think we can see that a 'sin' is something we do or a decision we make that takes away from God. We often speak of our journey to wholeness, perhaps sins are those things than impede wholeness or that distract us from our journey. The really big sins are a wholesale abandonment of what we profess to believe.

       And hence we have the three steps forward and 4 steps back. We seem so easily distracted. We might think it is only children that cannot focus and that are mesmerized by shiny elaborate objects. It just saw an ad on TV for a new red i-phone. Ewww!  So shiny! Our lives are full of intentional and subtle distractions from God and our journey.  Do we take God for granted?  Do we seek out God only when things go awry?

         Looking at the political agenda and atmosphere that exists in the United States today, most thoughtful people, people of conscience and of God are appalled. How did we get here? We might now be praying to God for deliverance from this nightmare of mindless, arrogant and inhumane politics. Do we ask for forgiveness though? What role did we play in allowing this to happen and to continue? Is this administration representative of our values as a nation or as Christians, Jews or as faithful people who proclaim "one nation under God"? It seems we might have been distracted our lackadaisical with our citizenship here. Are we honoring God and helping our fellow man ( 'the least of his children' ) with what we have allowed to foment?  I think there might be some kind of social sin here on our part.

      I'm not trying to beat you down or even us down into some kind of submission like a Sunday preacher railing at us to repent and that we are all sinners! While we are sinners in so many ways, do not let our bad decisions distract us from the beauty and potential in each one of us. Let us not disrespect our brothers and sisters.

      In all this, we ask God for forgiveness. We ask God to help us return to a path of holiness, enlightenment and dedication to the love Jesus died on the cross to show us. 
Forgive us. Now let us repent in thoughts and action and respect.

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

That seventy times seven stuff

    Forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult things for us as humans to unpack and acheive. Sins committed and sins levelled on us are such personal and hard things to forget or forgive. In fact I have many times heard someone say, I will forgive but I will never forget.  I am not immune from this mentality. But I do know that there is a better way, the way of the Cross and the way that Jesus spoke about and lived ( and died ) by.

     Forgiveness brings into play the personal emotions of our intimate lives that we just can't seem to forget. And yet there are those instances where a rape victim or the parent of a murdered child comes to court to tell the perp that they are forgiven. I often wonder where that strength ( or stupidity ) comes from. I know that our judgements and failure to forgive are rooted in what we consider justice. Forget about eternal damantion, we want justice by our own terms in this realm, in this life , even it could mean taking a life. 

      Perhaps it is splitting hairs but I can see forgiving for a sin, others or my own, accepting it, owning it and  feeling fine with it and all while still saying, but you still must be punished.  This is how I see someone going to hell. I don't beleive that God sends anyone to Hell ( if there indeed is one ). God forgives with the same compassion and more that a parent could hardly condemn thier own earthly child.  No, God is all forgiving. It is why I think God weeps and greives when we choose sin, evil and the other path by condemning ourselves to Hell. We do it, not God; our choice.

        While I struggle with forgiveness, I know that part of forgiveness is that peice where we allow God to do the judging. We may insist of earthly punishment for certain actiual crimes but we are called to a higher plain wher we forgive as God forgives, sveenty times seven ( Mt. 18:22 ). This number is not 490 either, numeralogically, seven is a number associated with infinity so Jesus is saying in essence, forgive always, every time.  A tough nut to swallow for sure. 

       If we fail in our efforts we are really condemning ourselves as unfaithful but perhaps even more, condemning ourselves to a life of backward thinking hate.  This lack of forgiveness will eat away at us like a cancer.  This is not forgiving and not forgetting though. This is total forgiveness, letting it go into God's hands or Karma's hands. It allows us to let go and move forward. The sin is left with the perpetrator and leaves us free.

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

PB&J

     If you were to take 100 bags of groceries and line them up as a representation of the world's supply of food, you would find that an overwhelming majority of those bags go to the United states. Truly a disgusting majority of those bags is consumed by the citizens of the United States. This was a visual we re-enacted in a class I took on church leadership many years ago and it is staggering in effect.

     The our in "our daily bread"  is not who can afford it. When Jesus says 'when you do for the least of my children' you do it to me, well that is just a bit indicting isn't it?  When I say that God loves me at least as much as the person next to me or on the other side of the globe, we know we are all connected , all beloved creatures of God. 

     How can we so easily dismiss our fellow world citizens when we easily have the capacity to feed everyone? It makes me terribly sad that there is a proclamation by some that the United States is a "Christian country" and yet we do not tend to the starving even here at home. We legislate away breakfasts for school kids, we diminish food programs in the name of tax cuts for the rich. The alt right ultra conservative "Christians" that are so quick to judgment of others are perhaps the most self indicting group that ever graced the planet. Hypocrites one and all.

     And yet I am filled with hope that a young girl, I believe she was an Episcopalian, on these shores that 'invented' the Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich ministry, an outreach program that has reached so many and taken up as a cause by so many  churches and communities.

      What would that ministry be without the bread to put the peanut butter and the jelly on? Bread is a foundational food around the world. So many forms, so many delights. Who does not enjoy a slice of bread fresh from the oven, hearth or pan? Add some butter and now you're talking!  We use the term "bread of life" in our services which speaks to not only feeding those yearning for spiritual food and the body of Christ who offered up himself for us, but also for feeding what we all need as a humans in a fundamentally universal form - bread.

       I am not sure where this is all going. I know we need to be cognizant of the fact that we are all world citizens and all brothers and sisters. If we hold to any belief in God, regardless of denomination, we know we are all to care for each other. Can we agree that food is a fundamental right? Can we work to that goal in God's name? Can we adopt a philosophy that 'we should live simply so that others may simply live'?

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

One day at a time

       I have come to see many people come and go in my life, many prematurely.  I am not sure if it is my advancing age, maturity or working in a trauma center for so many years but I clearly have come to appreciate more fully living in the now. We are not guaranteed anything beyond today. Heck, beyond this moment. So in planning for the future one has to spend enough and enjoy life enough like there is no tomorrow and save enough and plan as if you'll live to a really ripe old age. Balance.

      The key to everything though is being present in the now, this day. If you live in the past or are too concerned about the future you miss this day, the present. The name present is quite apropos because right now is a present, a gift.  Right now we are graced with God alive in our lives, loving people, caring people and opportunities to love abundantly, forgive others and be forgiven.  Right now is awesome if we decide to just open our eyes, ears and heart to what is going on all around us. 

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

Gimme, gimme, gimme !

     Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!  How would you respond to that kind of request? Sounds like a child doesn't it? So perhaps it's not a demand of God but a request. And that request rather than say 'give me" ( or gimme ), we should pray give us, as in all of us. So, please God, take care of all of us. Yes, I think that is closer to the intent.

     It would seem frightfully wrong for me to be taken care of and to think that "I" have been taken care, screw every one else that needs anything. That might be the platform or philosophy of a political party but it is not the Christian way, it is not God's way. It certainly isn't what we are saying when we pray the Lord's prayer.

     The paradigm we use as Christians, the paradigm most religions use, is not the worldly one of money. We do not seek out wealth which in the end buys you nothing anyway.  If we have wealth we are called to use it as a means of love, of helping others. But we do not seek wealth for wealth's sake, we do not pray for, or seek, 'things'.

      We ask humbly for God to take care of us. To recognize the abundance God has already graced our lives with and ask for what we need and that everyone else gets what they need too. 'Give us' translates to take care of us, keep us in your protection. It is an acknowledgement that we are supported by God. Every breath we take is contingent on God's love. 'Give us' is asking for an opportunity to say thank you with the graciousness of your love to us.

  

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one. 

in Heaven

     In an effort to help man understand the nature of God and his surroundings, God inspired people to write down explanations for what they see and experience. At most given points in human history man was not capable of understanding the nature of the universe.  Interplanetary travel would not have been comprehendable. Particle physics was out of the question. Travel by jet might be viewed as the work of a magician or illusionist.  Even the common suspension bridge was viewed by a Pope at one time as 'the work of the devil'.

      Our understanding has grown for sure. Even in the realm of poverty and slavery, we now know the abomination of not treating all humans as equals. Though we would have to note that even within the last  several hundred years, the church viewed Native Americans and African Americans as 'having no soul', something less than fully human.  Praise God that the Spirit is guiding us - if we listen.

        Our understanding of Heaven has been a bit all over the place - literally. But mostly, it is believed to be a physical place in the heavens ( within our own atmosphere ? ) that is the official residence of God.  The entrance has pearly gates manned by St, Peter as the guard who admits those worthy. Worthiness judged not so much by God it would seem but judged more by earthly institutions in the name of God. Yikes!

       Have we come to the conclusion that Heaven is not necessarily a place ?  It is not a place wherein you are rewarded with 72 virgins if you commit jihad. Personally, I might say it is really not a place where I can drive or race any variety of car I can conjure up and eat whatever I like and still have eight packs abs and enjoy a smorgasbord of fashion perfect men. There's a peek into my psyche, eh?  Heaven is not the place of indulgence or reward for a life well lived.

     If anything, Heaven, it seems to me, is a place of enlightenment and bliss. A state of being. Here and now we have states of confusion, states of hysteria, states of disarray. Then we will have a state of contentment, state of peace, a state of wholeness and holiness.
These are things we seek even while we are here on earth and so I think we can attain heaven here if we really try. Perhaps that is arrogance. I do know we catch glimpses of heaven here and it is not really sitting by my pool with cabana boys bringing me drinks while I soak up the sun. Heaven is not up in the sky, it is simply not here in this plane or realm of existence. But again, we can and should try to help it exist right now, today, in our lives and in our lifetime as best we can. Whenever and wherever we can. 

       Where and what is heaven to you?

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one.