My debtor and me

       One of the things that I found amusing when my kids were growing up was the earnest ratting out of someone.  'Johnny threw a rock at me' was never followed by 'after I threw a rock at him first'. Such juvenile taking of the fifth was easy to see through. I always tried to convey that partial truths are really still nothing but lies.

       This might call for some brutal honesty on our parts because after all, not all of us may have learned the lesson about partial truths and lying.  The fact is we are forgiven by God for everything. Those willing and open arms of our loving God are always there for us. The prodigal son ( us ) is always welcomed back and not only without stipulation but we are also celebrated when we actually do return.

       The problem is that while we can verbalize that God has forgiven us, we somehow have the gall to not forgive ourselves. The reason might easily be that when we ask for forgiveness we never seem to get to the part of our own culpability. We may have even convinced ourselves after years and years of this routine that we are truly innocent - the victim!  Can we be honest enough to see our own role in what goes on around us?  We are hardly the innocent ones. There was always a first rock thrown in whatever form that has taken. Even if we are accessories to what is going on or silent when we are seeing things going on, we are still guilty. I think on some level we all know this kind of guilt and it is one of the reasons that we have difficulty forgiving ourselves even when God has forgiven us.

         The thing is though, God has forgiven us and knows the plot, the story, the flaws and what was omitted in our acts of contrition. God forgives us anyway! freely. The love is there from God to us, is the love there from us to ourselves? to our neighbors? to our families? to strangers? Not as easy. I am sure God understands our fears, our humanity. God still forgives and so we are called to forgive others as we are forgiven. 

Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name. 

Your kingdom come.
   Your will be done,
     on earth as it is in heaven. 
Give us this day our daily bread. 
And forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 
And do not bring us to the time of trial,
     but rescue us from the evil one.