Tree bark and body positive

Luke 24:32

       I started a new novel yesterday, something that has become quite commonplace in these years that mark my retirement. I have many interests and reading for pleasure is one of them especially after years of detailed religious treatises and volumes of medical journals and continuing education. The latter never really made my heart burn the way today's passage relates. 

      In my current book I came across the word "cachondo" which in the book, the protagonist does not even know what it means. I certainly did not. It is later revealed to mean "Funny.Rowdy.Sexy.In heat". Basically, horny. It seems to me that is something that people are often passionate about.

         A part of my 40-day devotional, this passage today has the author, our leader or muse, speaks about the beauty of a tree bark. As an outdoorsy person, I have often looked at trees in wonder and appreciation. I will confess that I have never quite shared the enthusiasm or 'the burning of the heart' over any particular tree bark. And so, I begin to think about the things that make my heart burn and whether I burn over simply the superficial.  As a member of the gay community there are often unrealistic standards set for the body beautiful. It is so superficial and I think a standard whose time has come - to be edited, curtailed or deleted. What is it we wish our hearts to burn over - simply the superficial?

          I was thrilled to see that Abercrombie finally has embraced this idea even to some small extent with the addition of new models that shun it's body shaming past with body positive models. ( You can google it )  Perhaps a bit more like my husband and myself who have seemingly perfected that 'dad-bod' that seems to have gained some acceptance.

          I am going to confess right here, and in Lent, that what makes my heart burn 
(yikes, yes, horny) is my husband. He has it all, the intelligence, the personality, decency, witt and a great dad bod. Yep, he makes my heart burn. While the rest of the world burns for eight pack abs and the like, I snicker to myself because I have got the real deal, the entire package, the best there is. I have the tree and the bark and I know it!

         This may seem too sex oriented for a Lenten reflection but really it is spot on. First sex is a magnificent gift that God created and made an intricate part of us. It is a part we should revel in. But also, know that in more general terms and especially in Lent, we should perhaps look at the world in more than superficial terms. 

          Is it possible that in this time in the world where we are all sequestering and placing ourselves in voluntary quarantine, we can take the time finally to sit and look around at the beauty in the bark all around us? It seems Abercrombie is coming around and that is a huge plus.  What sights and gifts are right in front of you that you may simply dismiss from familiarity or busyness?

          From Dad bods to bark, let us look, see and appreciate.

Body perfect

       Jesus was embodied, incarnate. Bodies must be important. This is a selection from my Lenten devotional series. It is not a passage from scripture but it is a jumping off point I chose, as the author chose a selection from Jeremiah about us needing rest 

( Jer. 6:16 ).

       I have long held a personal belief that God is totally available and revealed in the world. This belief may have come from the fact that I grew up in a religious tradition that excelled at philosophy, intricate thought processes and treatises which I often call 'circular logic'. That 'faith' goes to enormous lengths to justify, rationalize and concretize their positions about God. It would seem that only the intellectuals can truly understand God. God is revealed in the religious intellectual elite. Not so!

       I believe that the entirety of creation screams out as a witness to God. I believe that you do not in fact need a formal education to see God, She is revealed in for every single aspect of creation to see.  From the rising of the sun, to the magnificence of a flower, to the wind that comes and goes, ALL are a witness to God. Everything reveals a facet of God's created world. No treatises required.

        It is with this thought in mind that I think of our terminal human bodies. Terminal yes, like a leaf or a flower but a witness to creation none the less. What do our bodies say to us?  They need sustenance and rest. Very important points. Our sexuality is an intricate part of our bodies as well. That too is very important, it is very telling about God and it needs to be expressed. Our bodies reveal so much about God, all good, all should be explored, expressed and revelled in. In case you see the writing on the wall here, revelled in, cherished, expressed but NOT abused or disrespected.

         When I contemplate the need for our body to rest, I am not far from the realization that our body's sexual needs are normal, beautiful and should also be expressed. It reveals so much about God.  How many of us grew up though with complicated and guilty thoughts about our sexuality? Mine certainly played a role in why it took me 50 years to come to the realization that I am a gay man.  I really tried to be such a good Roman Catholic boy! In the simplicity and joy of our sexuality, we need not get caught in the mire of religiously created stigma and overly 'thoughtful' rationalizations for what our bodies are for or not for. Overt and covert religious involvement of our own personal temples actually disrespects God and is more about an agenda that allows and promotes male dominance and control over everyone else's genitals.

          This Lent, as we try to come to a more full understanding of our humanity, we should not dismiss a crucial part of our humanity which is our body. Our bodies are intricate mechanisms that need to be discovered, cherished and respected. They are a gift from God and reveal so much about the nature of God herself.

             Vive notre sexualite!

       

When you are smiling

Phillipians 4:4

       Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice

     
      I really like the profile picture of my FaceBook page. I have a gentle smile that speaks to the fact that I am really happy ( or really dopey ). I am in fact, very happy.

         I had occasionally made note of individuals that seem to smile 'too much'. I couldn't put my finger on it but they seemed to be rejoicing at something, they seemed to be in on a joke I hadn't heard, they might just be crazy fools who smile at everything - even when the world is crumbling. I didn't get it. So much crap going on in the world and these people are smiling away like Forest Gump or Gomer Pyle. 

       One of the side effects of discovering, admitting to myself and publicly    acknowledging that I am gay is that it made me a much happier person. I had worked at the same medical facility for over 35 years. People who had seen me for eons noticed how much happier I was. I was nicer to be around, I seemed to be a better person. To me it seemed that all of the pieces that I had at my command, within myself, gelled better when I came out. I had studied theology, taken countless courses, had a spiritual director and been on countless retreats. It wasn't that they were for naught but outcomes seemed shy of successful until one of the seemingly most elusive puzzle piece was found. Dan is gay. The smile on my face is genuine and deep.

      The world is still far from perfect. So many people fight against thier very nature to be good. People run around like a dog chasing their tails for goals set by someone else for someone else. Materialism is a pox on humanity. Yet, I still am smiling. What the story??

        I have heard the secret joke, I am "in" on the seemingly hidden story. The story is how much God loves me. I can tell you with assurety that God loves you too. I can say it many ways to try and convince you. I am not sure what would convince you, God made you so purpose built and with such love and devotion, it is as if you were the only creation he was working on. There is no other like you for sure. God perhaps woke up one morning, stretched his arms, groaned a bit from a good nights sleep and said, "hmm. today I think I will give the world what it needs, I am going to create you". The rest is mere biology. The quest then becomes to discover the essence and beauty of you that God created, intended, wants you to be.  In the acknowledgement, in the thankfulness comes great joy. Yikes, then you have that 'affliction too" , that smile, that deep abiding smile. An appreciation of yourself, a thankfulness, great joy.



       

           

     

Daily prayers

Psalm 55:17

       This may seem the exact opposite about which I wrote yesterday. I am not talking today about keeping the Sabbath and trying to ( for at least one day ), remember God and be attentive to creation and yourself.

       In today's devotional for Lent, the tables have been turned on me. The thought presented is the admonition to pray unceasingly as I was taught in Seminary. It truly was a joyous time. We would gather several times a day in the chapel with the seminarians facing each other. We would responsively read or chant our prayers, the resulting aural bouquet rising to the heavens. It was glorious.  The "Liturgy of the Hours" became a great strength to me, the chapel a cozy place to sit and pray and simply 'be' with God.

         The idea of praying to God  multiple times a day is an ancient tradition that was likely a practice that even Jesus did as a devout Jew.

         I recall the period of my life when I was working a hectic job and unhappy with myself, the cracks in the wall of my  sexuality beginning to appear ever so slightly and I was an ordained minister too. My spiritual adviser had already convinced me of the need to set time aside each day for prayer.  The more I had resisted and explained my plethora of daily tasks from cooking, cleaning, child care, work in operating room and then continue the domestic routines after that each day, the more he insisted and explained that he wasn't telling me when or how. He simply noted that if I am serious about this relationship ( with God ) I had to make some adjustment to commit to the task of listening and speaking to God. I wound up getting myself up and doing 'the hours' at a seemingly ungodly 2:30 or 3 am. I would get to the operating room at 4:30 or 5 a.m. fresh with a commitment to God, my fellow workers and my brothers and sisters ( our patients ). By eight a.m. I likely would respond to my coworkers with a grunt and a scowl. My early morning peace did not always last too long. Is this a confession?

          Taking the time out at multiple points of your day, either formally as with the Liturgy of the Hours or informally as you give God some time as you drive or walk down the hallway, is an admirable, ancient and proper practice.  It might be something you want to do in Lent if not the rest of your life. God does not love us only while we participate in Mass or do some extra holy act of love and generosity at a given point of the day or week. God has our back 24/7/365. God loves us with such reckless abandon that we might find it almost incomprehensible if we think about it as we should.  My 'confession' is that in speaking to God we are not made perfect - at all. Maybe we will even be more consciously aware of our faults. We may still harbor ill thoughts or wave to the other drivers on the road with less than 5 fingers. What we will have started though in consistent daily prayers is a conversation with God. God will speak back if we then take time to listen. God always responds to us in Her unabashed and total love. No, prayer will not make us perfect but it helps keep us on a path to wholeness and holiness, ever mindful of our role in God's plan of love, thankful for all the graces we have been granted.

For unceasing prayer and our Lenten, if not life journeys we pray.

Leviticus: One day of the week at least

Lev. 23:3

       I am not one that usually throws references to Leviticus out there simply because it is so often taken so literally. Taken out of context, it is often used rather selectively to bash the gay community. But this reference from my Lenten program seems rather appropriate and I thought I would approach the subject.

       Lent seems to be a time when at the very least we try to stay focused on growing in our relationship with our Creator, appreciating what God has done for us, especially in taking on the mantle of humanity. We also are trying to be fully human ( as Jesus was ) , cooperative with whom God created us to be as a beloved creation. We try to take on a share of that sacrifice offered up for each one of us. We often try to share in that by 'giving something up'. 

       In our Lenten pre-meeting, our own Pastor suggested that among other attributes, we make our sacrifice 'doable'. I still recall last year and my participation in 'reading the Bible in 90 days. That was an abysmal failure. I could not keep up. I suggest you don't do that for Lent unless you are Trappist monk with unlimited time on your hands to fulfill the task. Similarly a young lad agreeing to be totally chaste for Lent might be a bridge too far when you consider the raging hormones and the array of ways in which we can be un-chaste, no matter how good our intentions. 

       One of the fundamental ways we can be faithful to our journey is by honoring Sunday as a day of rest and a day focused on our relationship to God.  No matter how much we can do good and stay focused 6 days of the week, we can focus on that 7th in a special way. With all good intentions to get up early every day and pray, read scripture, meditate or some other unwieldy offer, perhaps we can simply try to honor God's created world, our brother and sisters, all of creation and ourselves by making one day special each week.  That isn't to say spending the entire day on our knees in prayer or in church. It need not be some overly formalized task of worship. If you think of Mass as the main course, the rest of the day can be filled with so many varied ways to fill the menu with thanks, rest, honoring and loving God, each other and ourselves. Yes, ourselves!

         One day of the week at least, devoted to God and self. Nice. Happy Lent!