A circuitous walk

       I am posting no reading for this morning. I will tell you that the readings from the 'hours' this morning as well as the story of holy woman, Anna Ellison Butler Alexander remind me of the holiness that each our journey's hold. Further, I suppose it is the fact that the journey's that we travel in life, our path to holiness and our missions are so broad and unexpected. Quite honestly, beyond our wildest dreams and even expectations for those willing to accept the unexpected.

       I do love it when a plan comes together and everything goes just as we wanted it to.  The point though is, life rarely goes as planned and those surprises in life are what makes life so rich. When I think of some of the greatest times and the boldest events and joyous moments of my own life, none of them were things that I had planned for. I am not sure I could have planned for them, I am so limited. God is the omniscient one.

       When I was thinking about blessed Anna this morning, there could not have been a plan, she was living in a time when her parents had only received emancipation a few years earlier. It is all so hard to believe that we behave the way we have and still act in some many errant ways. That did not stop Anna from listening to God and walking a journey that led here in paths I am quite certain she never had imagined.  Such is how life is especially for those who are open to it.

          What has me held in awe this morning is just how imperfect life is, how many wrong steps that I have made and how magnificent and joyous life is none the less. Is it my own pie in the sky attitude that makes it so?  Certainly my life right now bears no resemblance to anything I could have imagined as a teen. How could anyone give up on something that they don't even have the vision to see? 

       Our path to wholeness and holiness is quite the unpolished gem. We are not even aware the gem we hold in ourselves as we go on though life. I am thankful to all those nuns ( sadly not so much the Priests ) that inculcated a sense of self worth and holiness that gave me the comfort to allow life to unfold and trust in God's love. That is something I wish I could give everyone. I wish I could let every troubled LGBTQ teen that assuredness. I wish I could hold the hand of every closeted athlete and celebrity. How can you assure people that they are loved and to trust that 'it gets better' even in the face of life that seems far from perfect and possibly quite unfair? Anna did so, so can we.

        The fact remains, no matter what, that our paths are quite circuitous but always accompanied by a God that loves us and sees better than we ever could, to see just how glorious a creation we are. That is what we must trust in, know you are loved. Know you were created intentionally just as you are, a gift to humanity. 

       For trusting in our journey, even when we cannot see beyond the hill in front of us, I pray this day.

         

Other Me Too moments

      I long ago committed to erasing the word hate from my lexicon. I put that word right up there with the “C” and “N” words, they have no legitimate use. 

        Today’s passage from Matthew is quite a bold note from Jesus’ play book. This is why the two great commandments are much more difficult to follow than the mere Ten. If you claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ you can no longer follow as a rule obeying, maniacal minion of some organized ‘Christian ‘ religion that espouses strict adherence to man made laws. Now what is demanded of followers is the use of brain, intelligence and most of all, how can we love? Not an easy task.

        It seems so easy to note the absurdity and sadness of a church holding banners that read that “God hates fags”. Placed in the light if this reading from Matthew, we see the patent absurdity of it, the wrongness and evil of it.  We can even use this passage to make note of just how evil our very own President is, how his life is a witness to sin and actually a rebuke of Christ and all that us holy. 

       I myself fight not to use that “H” word in my view of his hypocrisy, the hypocrisy of the Roman Church or the ignorance and unloving un-Christian anti LGBTQ zealots. And there is where the tables turn for me and perhaps all of us. In trying to not to utter the word “hate” I have already condemned myself. I am guilty as charged right from this very passage. How do you respond to the vitriol and political vices of our times?  Those two great commandments ask us, nay, demand that if claim to be believers of Christ we cannot pay simple lip service to our stated beliefs. We must back them up certainly by loving actions but more importantly those loving actions must be from a pure conversion of heart. We must use our consciences and brain to analyze and adhere to policies bearing thoughtful love as fruit. How am I doing with that? How about you? Can we reread today’s passage from Matthew (below) and give s status report on how we respond to Christ’s call for love, inclusion and forgiveness, even to forgive ourselves as much as others?

Matthew 5:21-26

‘You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not murder”; and “whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.” But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, “You fool”, you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

Name calling, liberal and socialist

‘This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.’  

       To me, this is one of the most foundational lines of all Scripture. In saying that Jesus is God's beloved son, we are also being told that we too are beloved children of God, with Jesus as our brother. In fact, this is how I came up with the title for this blog, Beloved Gay Disciple. We are all beloved children of God in whom She is well pleased. 

       Much of my own theology is based on this as well. When the name calling started assigning guilt for being a "liberal", I proudly stand with my head held high. Yes! I am a proud liberal, aiming to 'foist' the agenda that all people should have equal rights and generosity of the fruits of this magnificent nation because it is God that has given all of us freely of the generosity we so richly deserve as 'beloved children of God'. I want everyone to have at least as much as I have been graced with, spiritually and monetarily. Radical no doubt to some but God's abiding and limitless love is a radical notion that Jesus was the first to espouse by His life, actions and willingness to die for us.

        The charge that is being levied now so nonchalantly, yet as if it was a fatal and horrific one, is that someone is a 'socialist'. They are no doubt hearkening back to some of the most horrific examples of 'government' and 'leadership' humanity has so far exhibited. Whether it was the governments of Hitler, Mussolini or others. The evils are bad governments and the attempt to associate that irrevocably with the socialist nature with which they served their citizens. The failure there is that some of the best and most, dare I say 'Christian' policies and programs of these United States are socialist in nature. I recently read a meme on Facebook that listed some of the glowing accomplishments of this country for its citizens and they are socialist in nature. Let us not through out the baby with the bathwater.

       Dare I even point out that the Scriptures that many of us hold so dear where the Apostles and early church lived in the basic paradigm of a communist commune? All things were held in common and individuals properties and possessions were sold to support the community at large for the common good. ( Acts 2: 44-46 ). So now you can levy the claim that I am a socialist and again I will stand up with my head held high. NO, I am not looking for a Hitler, and hells no, I don't want Trump - but I would like our government to exhibit the same abundant and generous love that Gd gives us as beloved children in our policies.  Single payer insurance? Yes.  Equality in taxes? Yes. Equal rights for all? Abso-friggin-lutely!

       Call me a liberal, call me a socialist, call me a gay radical? Call me a beloved child of God. I want everyone to know it, feel it and live it.

          

Matthew 3:13-17

Then Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan, to be baptized by him. John would have prevented him, saying, ‘I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?’ But Jesus answered him, ‘Let it be so now; for it is proper for us in this way to fulfil all righteousness.’ Then he consented. And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the heavens were opened to him and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.’

The short and long of things.

       I wonder if anyone else thinks about such things as "the shorter version" and "the longer version" in Scriptures? I mean, what is the real story? Is there really a valid 'reader's digest' version of Scripture? Isn't something going to be lost? Who picks the words to contract that are inspired by God? And if written literally by God, why offer two versions? So many questions. The longer version here seems to give some basis for the malignment of Mary Magdalene. Remember though, we are reading English of original texts that are far removed in time, language and translation. The real story here is the short and long of things.

     The other day I shared something deeply personal in this blog space. I am sure there may be a few people who were taken back by my sinfulness in what I confessed to.  I had noted that my life is a journey and that my 'sinfulness' was part of that journey. If you were to look at the short version and note a precise 'sin' , if you judge me on that snippet, I suppose I am going to hell in a hand basket.  Does God see us in a short version or a long version?

       I strongly suspect ,nay, believe, that God sees the whole picture. God is that good, that powerful, that loving and that forgiving. I have no doubt for one moment that God does not look at me for a singular questionable act on my part. God sees my journey. Of course God sees every journey to wholeness. Are we cooperating? Are we trying to move forward to the magnificent creature God created us too be? 

        As I jokingly pray for Hester to win just one more "A", I know that none of us are judged by God for a single moment of weakness or something that has troubled our soul in trying to be what God created us to be. God's love is abundant, boundless, gracious and forgiving. 

       The question will become, can we see ourselves in 'the bigger picture' and can we see others as more than a single moment of weakness or sin? Can we see the bigger picture or the 'longer version' of life? I pray for our improved vision and compassion.

Mark 16:1-20

When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him.And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, ‘Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?’ When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, ‘Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.’ So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid. 

The Shorter Ending of Mark

[[And all that had been commanded them they told briefly to those around Peter. And afterwards Jesus himself sent out through them, from east to west, the sacred and imperishable proclamation of eternal salvation. ]] 

The Longer Ending of Mark

[[Now after he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons. She went out and told those who had been with him, while they were mourning and weeping. But when they heard that he was alive and had been seen by her, they would not believe it.
After this he appeared in another form to two of them, as they were walking into the country. And they went back and told the rest, but they did not believe them.
Later he appeared to the eleven themselves as they were sitting at the table; and he upbraided them for their lack of faith and stubbornness, because they had not believed those who saw him after he had risen. And he said to them, ‘Go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation. The one who believes and is baptized will be saved; but the one who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: by using my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes in their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.’
So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. And they went out and proclaimed the good news everywhere, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by the signs that accompanied it. ]]

Preach the God News always, use words only if necessary

       By all accounts, John the Baptist was a great speaker. He was an orator and preacher that roused the souls of those he spoke to and helped people realize two things. One was their sinfulness and their need to repent. The second more important thing John preached was that the Messiah was coming. In speaking about himself and Jesus, John noted that "I am not worthy to stoop down and untie the strap of his sandals". In the face of God incarnate I suppose that is true but Jesus seemed never to ask for such deference. Our God-man savior sought to embrace his humanity to the full and in so doing was able to show us, his fellow humans, what greatness and love we are actually capable of. 

         From today's readings I glean the notion once again, that our calling and salvation is not tied up with eloquent words, logic or rules but by how we act. What counts is how we live and love. The proof is once again in the pudding, not the recipe.

         So many things can be taken from Scriptures of all religions, words can be twisted, mistranslated, bad agendas can be rationalized and love can be restricted and  marginalized. You can use Scripture as you wish. What counts is love and how we act.

         As a marginalized citizen, I know all too well how scripture, tradition, errant dogma born of circular and incomplete logic can affect humanity. We know bastardized versions of the Judeo-Christian and Islamic Scriptures are used for hate, fear mongering and totally unloving messages. I am sure God weeps at this misappropriation of Her enlightened word. What I would much rather be judged on, if anyone beside God is allowed to, is by my actions.  As a man, as a gay man, as a gay Christian man, how do I love and live the message of love Jesus emblazoned in my heart?

       If you are quick to rattle off a list of alleged offenses that I or the gay community is guilty of, let me ask you this, how is the majority straight community judged? Is t by the same standard? Again, if anyone is even capable of judging beside God Herself,  what are the criteria? Is it how we love in every respect and how we live out the Gospel we follow? Should we judge on the basis of hetero actions of lies, infidelity, divorces, rampant affairs, titty bars, pornography, one night stands and notches on bedposts? 

Who are the immoral ones really?  Just say'n.

         I am not judging at all. In fact, I think sexuality itself has been constricted, maligned and vilified by some of the very people who call for purity and who claim to be the very voice of God. Sexuality is one of the many gifts God has given to us as humans to exalt our creation and be more fully what we are called to be.  Sexuality is a full part of our created nature, it should be embraced and shared. I am not calling for promiscuity but just a rational and loving respect for our integral sexual nature.

           Once again I am speaking of an overall look at how we act. I will beat it into our heads that 'they will know we are Christians by our love". That is, how we act, how we live, how we love. Evangelicals and the religious right have negated their message about being "pro-life" by trying to control women's rights and showing an almost total disregard for respecting life at every other stage of human development. Allowing Trump to cage human children, separating families, cutting education funding, school lunch programs, medical care for the indigent and affordable health care for the entire population that includes a burgeoning senior segment.  How can you be "pro-life" when all you focus on is controlling a womens' uterus? If you seek to evangelize, do so by your actions, by your love, by your universal commitment to every human being - even the illegal immigrant. I think that is prominent in scripture too.  Stop cherry picking to support a myopic and hateful agenda. Live the life of Christ in all that we say and more importantly by what we do. As Saint Vincent said, 'preach the Good News always, use words only if necessary'.

        For a world free from judgment and hate and a world full of abundant love and caring for our brothers and sisters, I pray

          

         

John 10:31-42

The Jews took up stones again to stone him. Jesus replied, ‘I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these are you going to stone me?’ The Jews answered, ‘It is not for a good work that we are going to stone you, but for blasphemy, because you, though only a human being, are making yourself God.’ Jesus answered, ‘Is it not written in your law, “I said, you are gods”? If those to whom the word of God came were called “gods”—and the scripture cannot be annulled— can you say that the one whom the Father has sanctified and sent into the world is blaspheming because I said, “I am God’s Son”? If I am not doing the works of my Father, then do not believe me. But if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may know and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.’ Then they tried to arrest him again, but he escaped from their hands.
He went away again across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing earlier, and he remained there. Many came to him, and they were saying, ‘John performed no sign, but everything that John said about this man was true.’ And many believed in him there.

Religious right or rancid fodder

       I'd like to play a bit of devil's advocate here. The President of the United States who apparently likes the notion of ruling, fear mongering, hate, obfuscation and lies, fancies himself as a real man of God. I think Paula White has convinced Trump that he is a messiah, if not thee Messiah come again. Trump is easy pickings for this pseudo religious pro-birth maniac. He now thinks he is also King of the Jews , or so he has tweeted. But here's the rub. Cannot God pick anyone she chooses to as an implement of her Divine plans? The answer is yes of course, God unequivocally can and has in the past. Look at Paul, eh? However, the preposterous idea that Trump is the chosen one is not witnessed by his actions on myriad levels. The lunacy of Trump as the chosen one is more preposterous than a gay Republican / Conservative.

       The truth is, God has chosen so many that would seem illogical to choose or patently unqualified ( just like Trump ). What follows those, for those that accept the calling, is a change of heart and a witness to that change by actions of sincere and abundant love, forgiveness, empathy, and inclusiveness. None of these are witnessed by Trump. In fact, the man seems to have gone out of his way to exemplify his non-believer, unfaithful status by every action he has lived and he continues to act unrepentantly.

        The hallmark of our salvation and forgiveness as Christians is a change of heart. It is a willingness to look deep inside ourselves, acknowledge our faults and errors, in confession or in some less dogmatic way, and change our course of actions towards God. This does not involve our own self centered view of life, our own perhaps bastardized scriptural justifications of our own agendas, but a heartfelt submission to God's message of love. That love is exemplified by the life of Christ, Buddha or the message of any world religion.

      There is that ancient expression that 'they will know we are Christians by our love'. This expression solidifies the idea of Christian faith and that the message has been received in one's heart. You cannot claim Christianity or that you are the chosen anything, least of which a messiah, while maintaining a course of action that gives witness to other God's, be it self, materialism or satan. All of these three seem more associated with Trump than anything else. His feebleness of mind that he is saved or the one who will bring salvation only bears false witness to a warped and empty shell of some kind of belief system unassociated with Christianity.

         Even though I scoff and laugh at the idea of a log cabin Republican, I have to also laugh at my own, hopefully, gentle hypocrisies and errant thoughts of certain  salvation. In my own ways I am no better that Trump, those log cabin republicans or even so many  pro-birth anarchists. Ironically I say, we are not to judge.  As in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 however, we are to test everything and keep what s good. That speaks to a kind of judgment that I adhere to and it is the basis for this blog entry and condemnation of what clams goodness but clearly is rancid fodder for an errant faithful.

    For good quality testing and submission to a life exemplified by Christ in love, charity, forgiveness and hope, I pray.

Mark 15:22-32

Then they brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means the place of a skull). And they offered him wine mixed with myrrh; but he did not take it. And they crucified him, and divided his clothes among them, casting lots to decide what each should take.
It was nine o’clock in the morning when they crucified him. The inscription of the charge against him read, ‘The King of the Jews.’ And with him they crucified two bandits, one on his right and one on his left.Those who passed by derided him, shaking their heads and saying, ‘Aha! You who would destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!’ In the same way the chief priests, along with the scribes, were also mocking him among themselves and saying, ‘He saved others; he cannot save himself. Let the Messiah,the King of Israel, come down from the cross now, so that we may see and believe.’ Those who were crucified with him also taunted him.

What we are capable of

       There are many people looking around these days seeing an unfortunate similarity between what is going on with the alt right, President Trump and what occurred in Germany  when the Nazi's came to power. One huge question is how can so many seemingly decent people follow and support such evil practises, policies and statements. The lies are legion. The fact that there are people who claim a faith in Christ and in the same breath espouse what Trump is doing is mind numbingly scary. There are even people that claim he is 'of God'. Trump himself has said ( tweeted ) that he was the 'king of Israel' or king of the Jews. In my mind it all goes to what each of us capable of doing when we claim to be followers or a religious of any faith. I mean, even if you read the Quran, you wonder how it is even possible to derive such evil acts as the Taliban has foisted in the name of Islam? We are capable of enormous hypocrisy and evil.

       Perhaps then we can understand somewhat how it came about that Peter, that first 'vicar of Christ on earth', came to steadfastly deny that he knew Jesus as in today's passage from Mark. This was a man of faith bar none it would have seemed. Jesus would leave 'the keys to the church' in his hands. Yet, it was amazingly only days before that Peter is found saying 'Jesus, who?."

         One of the shows that I love to watch is a show called Mom. ( Please don't judge me ) Among other things, the show follows the lives of several people most of whom are dealing with addictions.  A routine scene will be from an AA meeting where people proclaim and confess both successes and failures. It is that failure in the face of their own good intentions of which I am reminded of right now.

           Here is a confession too.  I was married for almost thirty years before I even had a conscious inkling that I was gay. I was ever the faithful spouse, perhaps even to the point of mindlessness. When it comes to faithfulness and commitment to marriage, I am an ultra conservative type. Vows are taken seriously. As I approached the precipice of a more full knowledge of my sexuality that I had long suppressed and denied, I confess to transgressions that were anathema to my beliefs. Looking back on the events of that time in my life, I like to think that it was not so much a break in law, personal or Godly, but of a journey through which I travelled and experienced realities that helped me be a more full and complete person. I believe, the person that God has created me to be. Be that as it may, there is a fine young man in Colorado of whom I have quite fond memories of. I know he remembers me quite well.  I am eternally grateful that I fell in with a bloke who had a much clearer and expansive mind about sexual health and spirituality. The fact remains though, I am a sinner. Without comparisons to the magnitude of Peter's sin, I know that while proclaiming my faith and fidelity, I strayed. Seriously strayed. What is it within us that allows us to proclaim one thing and do exactly the opposite?  One thing for sure, I know to never swear "never", that seems like the kina hurra of all kina hurras.

          How do we guard ourselves from actions, big and small that are contrary to what we claim to believe? It is obviously not a new phenomena as witnessed by Peter, countless Church officials, millions of German citizens, Trumpites and yes, me.

        A huge part of the answer in my mind is claiming fully what you say you are.  You cannot claim to be a Christian for example without being a thorough lover, forgiver and without picking up your own cross. Another requirement is that thing Jesus used to do as noted in Scripture. He would sequester himself away 'to a quiet place' or into the desert. We must have time to use our minds, quiet our minds from our own agendas and truly listen to the voice of God. Rest assured, God's voice is not like any human voice of people like Franklin Graham, Bryan Fischer or Tony Perkins. God's voice is full of all embracing love, forgiveness and understanding.  When you hear a voice of condemnation and self righteousness, you can pretty much assured that it is not the voice of God.

           I have no real answers except constant vigilance to our paths, be who we are created to be, be loving minions of the Lord. Always, take time to assess, re-evaluate our lives and listen for the loving voice of God. I pray.

Mark 14:66-72

While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant-girls of the high priest came by. When she saw Peter warming himself, she stared at him and said, ‘You also were with Jesus, the man from Nazareth.’ But he denied it, saying, ‘I do not know or understand what you are talking about.’ And he went out into the forecourt. Then the cock crowed. And the servant-girl, on seeing him, began again to say to the bystanders, ‘This man is one of them.’ But again he denied it. Then after a little while the bystanders again said to Peter, ‘Certainly you are one of them; for you are a Galilean.’ But he began to curse, and he swore an oath, ‘I do not know this man you are talking about.’ At that moment the cock crowed for the second time. Then Peter remembered that Jesus had said to him, ‘Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.’ And he broke down and wept.