After considerable therapy, I sat down with my wife, explained as best I could that I am gay. This involved a lifetime journey of internal turmoil, self loathing, self doubt and sublimating who I was. I was born again and in all love and honor for her, it was not fair that she be saddled with someone who could not be fulfilled nor, fulfill her. We both are owed a chance at fulfillment and happiness in who we are. For me to try and live as a heterosexual man with the self knowledge I held, it would be a lie of enormous proportions. It would be totally counter to who I am, it would disrespect the creation of God that I am.
I suppose God can be anything she wishes to be. God being God though, the everlasting defined by total love, I can't comprehend the vengeful, hateful God that some seem so willing to embrace. The concept of an evil God is more a result of our definitions and justifications placed on God by us than what is really true. God is love. I guess it goes back to that idiotic philosophical question, can God create a box so large she can't lift it? God's nature is pure love. God cannot act in an evil way. And no, Donald Trump is not the chosen one.
When Jesus became incarnate, the Jewish nation such as it was, was expecting a warrior leader and conqueror more so than any spiritual leader. They sought a warrior leader slash King with the wisdom perhaps of David but still a warrior leader. It is no wonder that the feathers flew when Jesus came not as a military leader but a man that spoke in the Temple, who spoke of love, acted against prevailing religious law and exemplified, inclusion, forgiveness and embraced everyone. Again, the Jews ( and all of us ) run afoul when we try to define God as we want God to be, a God who falls in line with our own beliefs and agenda. God cannot be defined or pigeonholed by our beliefs. It is we who should be amending our own behaviours and beliefs according to the love and message of God.
Jesus as much as says so when he points to the crowd with swords and clubs when they came to arrest Him. That is not what Jesus was ever about, violence, the military or exclusion. If that is what we believe today, we are far astray from The Word and The Way.
There is a meme on FaceBook that suggests that we will find perhaps a lifetime of happiness if we don't try to mold the future or live lamenting or ruminating over the past. Our best shot is to accept and live the now, joyfully and with presence. How much more true is it to find peace and joy with who we are created to be. Acceptance in love of who we are is much more fulfilling and in accord with God's plan than any other way of life.
Rather than seek our own agenda or placing our agenda on others and even trying to foist it on God, let us love ourselves and love others as they are. This is what I pray for today.
Mark 14:43-52
Immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, arrived; and with him there was a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, ‘The one I will kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.’ So when he came, he went up to him at once and said, ‘Rabbi!’ and kissed him. Then they laid hands on him and arrested him. But one of those who stood near drew his sword and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear. Then Jesus said to them, ‘Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a bandit? Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not arrest me. But let the scriptures be fulfilled.’ All of them deserted him and fled.
A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.
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