Having arrived back on our tiny island from the south, I am thrilled to see the rain stop and the temperatures return to at least a semblance of warm. The almost constant rain and lower temperatures made for a chilling spring. With all deference to Simon and Garfunkel, we now have our Parsley, Basil, Rosemary and Thyme well rooted and thriving. The Dalia's look spectacular and the Begonias would make anyone smile. Today's readings are rather springlike themselves, making references to the sowing of seeds in a field and how a mustard seed grows.
One of the things that I think of in spring and seeds is not so obvious, thats death.
No matter what seed we are taking about, they are hard, dried and died. They must fall or be placed on the ground and then they have to crack open (another death?) and then new life emerges. It is a natural process like the change of seasons themselves.
When I think of the process of death and new life as a constant of life, I cannot help but also think about being gay. I had to die to a perhaps comfortable old self, an old situation, one that perhaps blends in easy with what most people consider normal. How could I not like my life with two wonderful children, a respected and perhaps elevated life of being the local clergyman. Even my wife was not some shrew. She is a good woman and we shared a good life. Why would I want to 'die' for some unknown new growth? What if my kids cast me aside? Hey, it happens all the time. If I die to myself, come out and acknowledge I am a gay man, I may find myself joyful at who I am but a very lonely man. Let's not sugar coat this, this dying and rising to new life is not an easy task, it is not one for the weak of heart.
But like a caterpillar that breaks out of it's cocoon to become a magnificent butterfly, we should know that our new life as an out and proud person is just as glorious. Any time we die to ourselves, die to the will of the world and accept the will of our Creator and become our true self as God intended us to be, we show a gloriousness of creation we could not possibly imagine. I am sure the caterpillar has no clue what is coming and neither do we. But the beginning of all that is good for us and holy is the death of our self and the emergence of the new growth.
If I see myself as a plant in new growth, I could look at the parsley, basil, rosemary or thyme, maybe the Dahlias or even the Begonias. What I really have though s a case o Peony envy. I am a tall and proud, beautiful and colorful Peony.
For little seeds, dying to new life and the beauty of God's created world, we give thanks and praise.
Matthew 13:24-34
He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?” He answered, “An enemy has done this.” The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?” But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.” ’
He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’
He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened.’
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