The joyful cross of being gay

Mark 8:34-38

          I was asked yesterday about lying about who we are. This (gay) man said he figured 20% of his life was a lie based on being out to so few and lying to friends about what he really had done the night before. That is, hooked up, went on a date with another man etc. I shared with this guy that when I realized I was gay, I thought it was necessary to be honest with everyone whom I cared about. I wasn't going to announce it from the rooftops but I would not shrink away and deny it if asked. Basically, I could not lie. It had  been so hard lying to myself for so many years, I could not continue any lies.

         What I feel this nice young man was avoiding was the cross gay people have to bear. Granted, it is getting easier but there are still many places where lies about being gay are fostered and believed. Coming out can prove quite dangerous. Torch wielding villagers is not far from the truth. But if we are to be followers of our Lord Jesus Christ and if we are simply to be true to ourselves without risk of bifurcating our personalities, we must man-up to who we are. This includes the possibility of standing up for who you are. Holding true to your decency and good nature. It also means you have to bear the burden of saying I am gay and grateful to be so.

         As much as being gay can be a cross to bare because we are misunderstood and maligned, being gay is also a tremendous blessing. I am incredibly grateful to God our creator for allowing me the joys of being Gay. I also am incredibly grateful for all the gifts that God has graced my life with. Family, children, husband and yes, gay sex!  (What that is defined as is my business and nobody else's business).

          If we wish to hold onto our safe little closeted life, we lose life because we deny who we are, we deny who God made us to be, we die because we are stunting the growth to maturity of who we are.  We are called to risk it all for who we are. We are called to bare the cross of being gay in a sometimes homophobic society. We know that there is also ample compensation. Thank God I am gay.

           

He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.’