La familia

Matthew 12:46-50

          This passage may have special meaning to those in the gay community. No, it's not like the story of David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi or the Centurion and his 'dear slave'.  This speaks of who our family is. Certainly Jesus was not speaking about gay people in this passage but a clear lesson is to be had and one many in the gay community can relate to.

         There are countless people in the gay community that wind up having to leave their families to simply live whole integrated lives. Parents quite frequently eject a child from the family home when they come out. If not an outright disowning, young adults are often left with such a contentious and vile atmosphere that they often leave of their own volition. It is so often the case that the meaning of a loving family is contorted, abandoned and unconditional love is ripped from the fabric that may have once seemed a family hallmark. How does a young person deal with this betrayal? What is a young person to feel about what family is? 

          As often as youths are discarded for being gay, there are an equal number of loving people who step up to the plate to become the new family for these young gay men and women. Unfortunately not quite enough and even those that would be welcoming, affirming and loving are not sought out for fear of the same rejection they received in the home of their birth.  Still, there are a whole host of people who become more of a family to people in the gay community than any blood relative would be.

           Jesus is correct that blood family does not necessarily mean what we in our idealistic dreams conceive of. What is most important? To me it is faith and family. I have been blessed with a wonderful family. Not everyone is comfy cozy with me coming out but could I expect everyone to be?  If it took me 50 years to come to terms with my own sexuality, could I expect everyone else to do so simply because I announce 'heh, I'm gay'? But I have been blessed with a wonderful family.

            Even though we can derive a lesson from this passage about our natural families, Jesus was speaking about our family of faith. What is a gay person to do when even in their family of faith they are told that their loving God now hates them or thinks they are satanic? This seems to me to be the height of arrogance and the antethesis of what Jesus preached and lived.  

            There are faithful communities out there that acknowledge the wholeness, goodness and godliness of each and every peson, gay or straight. They are worth searching for. We are blessed to be in the era of googling and the internet that allows us to reach out to other gay faithful. And I mean of any faith.  As I approach the anniversary of my first year of blogging or ministering in my small way to the gay faithful, I can only hope and pray I help one person realize how good they are just as they are, to help them realize just how much God loves them. When Jesus died on the cross for us it means all of us. 

           If the social changes of divorce, single parenting and now with marriage equality that have occurred in the last 50 yaers until now do anything, they have highlighted the diversity and solemnity of a wide variety of what familes are. Families, it's not just blood anymore.

         

While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’