A cure for grouchy

Galatians 5:22-6:10

            I think everyone has come across a person at one time or another whom we might judge to be a.... sourpuss. Let's keep it decent. It seems especially troubling when the person is a person of faith. It really isn't that a person of faith is more perfect than anyone else, it's just that if the Spirit is alive in you, you'd think the person would act differently.

            Invariably I would say that the person is just very unhappy. There is something that the person may not even be aware of that is making the person very unhappy. So is the case of myself.  I studied theology and prayed very hard, perhaps unceasingly as the scriptures would suggest, for many years. For my entire life I knew a peace inside that was disturbed at times by an uneasiness. Something was clearly wrong.  It was not as if I was sufficiently troubled to warrant medication. In fact I think that might have masked the true problem and I might never have discovered what the answer was. I attribute my ordination into the Roman Catholic church as the straw that broke the camels back for me. My psyche could not handle the contrast and contradiction that my sub conscience was having with the outward expression I was feeling I had make in order to be true to the hierarchy. Soon after ordination I was in quite a quandary and therapy came soon after.  What was this 'thing' that made me so at odds with myself? with the Church? What was it that made me incomplete enough to make me feel like something was missing for decades? The big secret that I could not even admit to myself is that I was gay. Once I said it out loud so that I could hear myself saying it and I was able to utter those words to others, I was a man at peace. Of course that caused other problems for me, a married man of the cloth but I myself had a feeling of completeness I had never known. It was my faith, my friends and my decency that helped me traverse the other issues that arose.

          Is everyone who is grouchy gay? No, not at all. But we all have issues that if go unresolved can make us very disjointed people and unhappy even while we can acknowledge that Jesus is our Lord and savior. Some things are more serious than others. Being gay is a fundamental nature to me. No one was more surprised than me when I realized I was gay. No one was more stunned that a person (me) could deny the vast amount of evidence that was in front of me for years. It seems so obvious now. 

          What are the issues in our lives that keep us from being whole? What keeps us from being fully human?  Most will not be fundamental to our being but some are. This is one reason I think therapy is such a wonderful thing. If you are as honest with your therapist as you try to be with God, you will find reward.  Even without therapy, it is crucial that we be as honest as we can be with ourselves. We need serious self examination and introspection if we are to grow and mature.

         God was surely not surprised that I am gay. God 'waited' for me to make this discovery. I believe my sincere efforts at being faithful were rewarded by the blessing I have received after I acknowledged who I am.  

        When we acknowledge anything about ourselves we are not surprising God who already knows it all. What God wishes is for us to be who were born to be, to be the human he created, fully alive and engaged in the act of living. Our goal is to cooperate and grow, to love and to share ourselves generously with God and everyone we come in contact with. If we are grouchy, something is awry. Don't look at others, look inward for your first clue.

By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another.

My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. For if those who are nothing think they are something, they deceive themselves. All must test their own work; then that work, rather than their neighbour’s work, will become a cause for pride. For all must carry their own loads.

Those who are taught the word must share in all good things with their teacher.

Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow. If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit. So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, and especially for those of the family of faith. 

Messy love.

Luke 7:11-17

          One of the most astounding people of our time has to have been Mother Theresa of Calcutta. No matter what your faith is, she was recognized as  a great and holy woman. Mother Theresa was willing to touch the untouchables and the unclean. She cared for and had love for them. Not only did she do this, she encouraged and counseled others to do the same. She had quite a following if you want it call it that.  She was filled with love and not afraid of the unclean. Life is messy on so many levels and she dove right in.

           In this passage today, Jesus is touching a burial bed or what the corpse is carried on to burial. Surely he was rendering himself unclean by the customs of his people. But Jesus was filled with love and compassion and that supersedes anything.  Jesus too, to this day, has a great following. Not all are willing to reach out with such love but he gives us the template and Mother Theresa followed that template even at the risk of becoming unclean herself, at the risk of her very life.

           I am not sure how may of us are called to, willing to or capable of submitting to love and exercising such enormous love in the face of filth, disease and sin. 'Messiness'.

           I cannot help though but think of the love we express in the gay community. It is often viewed as vile, sinful, messy and unclean. If we think about how we were actually conceived it would probably be viewed as unclean and just a bit messy. Love is messy though and it can be a bit unclean. When submitting yourself and sharing the essence of yourself, cleanliness is not the goal, love is the goal. I would be the first to tell everyone to exercise caution in the face of the diseases that haunt everyone. But at the same time I have to preach that messiness and uncleanliness in the face of love is not a bad thing. The overriding factor expressed by Jesus, by Mother Theresa, a married couple or two lovers sharing the essence of who they are is love. True love. 

      Love trumps all, even messiness.

Soon afterwards he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went with him. As he approached the gate of the town, a man who had died was being carried out. He was his mother’s only son, and she was a widow; and with her was a large crowd from the town. When the Lord saw her, he had compassion for her and said to her, ‘Do not weep.’ Then he came forward and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, ‘Young man, I say to you, rise!’ The dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. Fear seized all of them; and they glorified God, saying, ‘A great prophet has risen among us!’ and ‘God has looked favourably on his people!’ This word about him spread throughout Judea and all the surrounding country.

Bountiful deserts

1 Corinthians 10:1-13

              I really love the imagery of the Hebrew Scriptures. Of course there are different genres of writing and purposes but very often there is imagery like there is  in this passage.  Here there is a story that alludes to the time the Israelites escaped and were in the desert.  There is also the story here of idolatry and immorality.  Much of Hebrew scripture is about the struggle to maintain purity of their community and not assume some of the godless behaviors of those around them.

               I can't help but think of the deserts in our own lives or what we perceive as a desert. Our own behaviors, not being true to who we are, succumbing to the temptations of the world and it's materialism. This can be a challenging time in our life and can lead to greater truth for ourselves and our life or lead us down the road to destruction and mindless living.

               One thing that I needed to realize is that even in the desert there is life. The journey of the Hebrews in the desert for 40 years can be likened to our own personal journey  to wholeness. We have to fight to find who we are as persons, be true to ourselves and God and to resist the world around us. This can be a life long journey not just 40 years or more. But let us think of the desert again. There is hidden life beneath the surface. There is hidden water, hidden sources of life and growth. It may not be obvious and the terrain may seem hostile but even then, there is life and hope.

          Whatever our personal desert is, no matter what appears to be happening in our life, we need to realize there is still life and hope in the midst of the desert we find yourself in. God does not abandon us, ever. The story of manna is quite apropos, God will always supply us with sustenance and be at our side, even in the worst times of our life. The worst heat, desert and dangers cannot keep God from us. 

        Keep the faith and know that even in the worst times of our life God loves you and is with you. It may appear to be a treacherous desert but there is hidden life and always hope.

             

I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, that our ancestors were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea,and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual rock that followed them, and the rock was Christ.Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them, and they were struck down in the wilderness.

Now these things occurred as examples for us, so that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not become idolaters as some of them did; as it is written, ‘The people sat down to eat and drink, and they rose up to play.’ We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did, and were destroyed by serpents. And do not complain as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us, on whom the ends of the ages have come. So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall. No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Discernable truths

Matthew 11:25-30

             My current read is American Savage. In the first chapter he speaks about things people know that are instinctively wrong with the Catholic Church and so people make their own decisions and follow their own conscience. Birth control has been the most notable example of this over the years. Everyone knows the church's rules, position, doctrine or whatever in regards to birth control and that it is all screwed up. People know it and they act accordingly. No one asks questions about a 40sh year old couple with 2 kids about why they don't have 7 kids. It's the original don't  ask, don't tell. 

              Yes, for all the excruciating logic, "tradition" and rationalizations, most people know the truth. Basically, somehow, God has hidden enormous number of truths from "the Church" (hierarchy) that regular old "infant" people understand. From birth control to the fact that an "annulment" is really a divorce, people know instinctively what the truth is. No amount of BS will change that. However, most matters of  'doctrinal dissent' are not obvious. You are not polled at the church door if you are divorced and remarried. You are not asked about what form of birth control you may or may not be practicing. 

             There is an issue though that is in your face and is fairly obvious. When a gay man or woman comes to church it should not be an issue according the churchs' very own catechism, and yet it is. The real trouble begins (for the church that is) when you choose to love another human being. In this case you are anathema. In this particular instance the worst scenario is automatically assumed. You are automatically assumed to be having any and every kind of sex and you are not welcome. It  is truly a double standard. No one else is assumed to be doing the worst of anything. And yet gays are. But hey, loving someone should not be bad in the first place. If you find someone that you love and that loves you, isn't that a blessing?  The problem for the church here, like birth control, annulments and a whole range of issues is that the people in the pews see the truth. Most people know loving gay committed couples. We live the same mundane lives that most people live from work and mowing lawns to paying taxes and going to the movies on a Saturday night.  The sex is much better than most so maybe it's all about jealousy?

               It does seem interesting how this passage plays out in the life of "the Church".  Those Catholics are funny. The Hierarchy says one thing, the people in the pews know another and do what they know is right and just. That is because the truth is hidden from the so called wise and intelligent.  It seems if you have to try too hard to convince people something is right or have to use convoluted arguments - you are actually and most probably wrong.

              Truths are usually easily discernible because love is simple and pure. And love is what  truly matters.

At that time Jesus said, ‘I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’

True heart to true works

Matthew 7:22-29 

           Many will recall that I have a pet expression of Saint Vincents',  'preach the Good news always, if necessary, use words'. It is my way of attaching importance to our actions, sometimes more than our words.

          Yet in this passage there are people who are rebuffed by the Lord  even though they have apparently done good works. What is your intent? Anyone can say Lord, Lord and act as if they believe. What is in your heart? What is your motivation?

           There is a whole host of people and even religious whose lives are apparently filled with good actions who will be rebuffed. One need only look to the Roman Catholic Church where enormous amounts of good works are done in the name of Christ. But what of the evil perpetrated in the name of God? What of the control, lack of love, marginalization and capricious judgements of whole groups of people? This may warrant a  I never knew you from The Lord.  None of us is perfect, heaven knows I am the furthest from it. We all make mistakes but the overall thrust of what we do and how we act, what is in our heart and our complete conversion of heart is what is really called for. I believe this will be our salvation. Words are cheap. Actions become their own earthly reward in applause and recognition. Again what is in our heart? What is our motivation?  Perhaps this is why we are admonished to not let the right hand know what our left hand is doing. God knows all,  that is what matters. 

           I have high hopes for this Pope Francis and his idea to revive, revitalize and modernize his church.  Francis' heart seems pure, decent and filled with good and humble intent. But actions speak louder than words and purity of heart and intent will mark the actions that follow his present meetings.

            Pray for ourselves and pray for God's church, we are one. No matter who and where we are, we are one in his creation. Let us act like it with  purity and sincerity of heart.

On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?” Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.”

‘Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell—and great was its fall!’

Now when Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority

Knowledge puffs

1 Corinthians 8:1-13

                While I encourage everyone to read this entire passage ( including myslef ), I had difficulty getting past the first line as if it was beckoning me. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. Pretty neat.

                 I have come across a few people in my life for whom science is their god. Perhaps on some level there is truth to that. I have known still others that say that science actually drives their faith in God deeper. There can be an arrogance in knowledge and as example I am speaking scientific knowledge. In one of Dan Brown's book they issue of a 'God particle' ( physics ) is raised. As if a more intense amount of knowledge could dismiss or explain creation. Well, what about before the Big Bang? The more you know, it seems the more you do not know. The more intense the knowledge we achieve, the more mystical and awe inspiring God is. There is always more to know and more questions. I believe science and God do go hand in hand. 

           But the real 'guts' of God so to speak is love. Knowledge as I noted several days ago, is fleeting. Knowledge can produce an arrogance. You can gain a certain amount of knowledge and stop asking questions, you may think you have all the answers. Still others fear knowledge because it may explain it all and then where would God be?  God is beyond our comprehension, we will never know it all. I sometimes speak of an 'aha' moment when we die when we will gain insight into a great many questions we may have had in life. Truth be told, the aha, may be more of knowing it was all unimportant except for one thing, love.

          The real guts of God, the 'thing' that matters and triumphs over all is love. The 'fuel' to the engine of God, to the engine of creation, is love. Love is all, love conquers all, love is the answer. I will not go into different types of love, the maturity of love or a dissertation on love. God gave us rules to help guide us. Jesus clarified that by his becoming human, by his actions and by synthesizing the rules (commandments) into the two great commandments. What makes it all work, the word that describes Jesus' life, that guides the implementation and awareness of the 'rules' is love. Love is our guiding force.
Love is where Jesus was. Love is where Jesus is. Love is where Jesus will always be sitting at the right hand of God.

       I could come to the conclusion that I am smarter than some with my 20+ years of Catholic school, a masters degree in theology and numerous other religious offerings and retreats. If I have not love, it is all for naught.

        Someone who loves trumps any knowledge I might have, that anyone has. Because Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 

Now concerning food sacrificed to idols: we know that ‘all of us possess knowledge.’ Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. Anyone who claims to know something does not yet have the necessary knowledge; but anyone who loves God is known by him.

Hence, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that ‘no idol in the world really exists’, and that ‘there is no God but one.’ Indeed, even though there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as in fact there are many gods and many lords— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

It is not everyone, however, who has this knowledge. Since some have become so accustomed to idols until now, they still think of the food they eat as food offered to an idol; and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. ‘Food will not bring us close to God.’ We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling-block to the weak. For if others see you, who possess knowledge, eating in the temple of an idol, might they not, since their conscience is weak, be encouraged to the point of eating food sacrificed to idols? So by your knowledge those weak believers for whom Christ died are destroyed. But when you thus sin against members of your family, and wound their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food is a cause of their falling, I will never eat meat, so that I may not cause one of them to fall. 

Roadmap for a fine day

Psalm 146 

              We read this psalm in church on Sunday and it really touched me. It has the same tone to me that the Magnificat has that we said every evening in the seminary. It sounds life the perfect way to end a day, in thanksgiving and recognition of the goodness of God. It might actually be a great way to start the day as well.

              I am simply going to suggest that you take the time to read this slowly and thoughtfully.  Think of praise, breaths, think of all of God's creation. Think of being a prisoner. What are you a prisoner to? Then too, think of justice, the oppressed and what we have to be thankful for. What are we called to do?

Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord, O my soul!

I will praise the Lord as long as I live;
    I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

Put not your trust in princes,
    in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.

When his breath departs, he returns to the earth;
    on that very day his plans perish.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is in the Lord his God,

who made heaven and earth,
    the sea, and all that is in them,
who keeps faith forever;

    who executes justice for the oppressed,
    who gives food to the hungry.

The Lord sets the prisoners free;

    the Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;
    the Lord loves the righteous.

 The Lord watches over the sojourners;

    he upholds the widow and the fatherless,
    but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

The Lord will reign forever,

    your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the Lord!