This is it, light the lights!. No that's a different story. But truly, this IS it! This is when Saul sees the light, apparently literally. It is this defining moment when the world will change forever - literally. It is Paul, the re-invented or converted Saul, that is responsible for bringing The Way to all of humanity. Jesus is a Jew. Although Jesus preached to the Jewish community, Paul grasped from His life (again, there is no "New Testament" written at this point), Jesus' lived life walking on earth was one of total inclusion. Paul argues vehemently that The Way was meant for everyone. This may be the real beginning of Christianity. Prior to this, Jesus' followers were really a sect of Judaism. When someone says, 'I've seen the light' , it has really great meaning.
Paul's affliction on the road to Damascus seems one of Divine intervention. It could easily have been like any of us who become afflicted by so many different things in life and pray to God for release and relief. 'God, if you will relieve me of this suffering, I will...... You can fill in the blanks for yourself. We each have a personal experience in this regard. Who has not had a headache, a hangover, a boil or a busted heart? Who hasn't tried to negotiate with God over some terror or trauma in their lives? Paul's blindness brought him to see ( no pun intended ) that his persecution of Christians was wrong and finally that he himself was being called by God through Jesus!
Seeing that in writing just now, I cannot help but think of the persecutions that some people level at the LGBTQ community. So many of the most vicious are found to be heavily closeted, self loathing individuals. They accept what the world may say and have hatred of self because they can't seem to grasp that what is their own nature. They rail against what is a gift from God. The haters who really are hating themselves cannot seem to see that their 'flaw' is what God has graced them with. They are trapped by someone else's definition of what being gay is. They are trapped by someone else's mistranslation and misuse of Holy Scripture is to defend and define God's creation in their own myopic and ultimately only human terms. This is NOT of God.
I am not one for S&M. I don't think that Jesus was crucified because he forgot the safe word. But the things we suffer from are often not suffering at all. Sometimes the things we judge as against God are actually gifts to us, graced moments and opportunities to love - and allowing ourselves to be loved. Again, not looking for pain, not looking for suffering, just noting that sometimes we fail to see the light in what we perceive as a problem. The problem is sometimes a judgement of the world, of man and again, not of God.
In a lighter vein, I recall a part of Fiddler on the Roof when Tevye laments that being poor is no so sin, but it is no great honor either! It may be my imagination but I recall him adding that 'if being rich is a curse, God, please curse me rich!' Our judgments over what is a sin, what is a judgment of God is so misguided. As humans we do not see well. We certainly do not judge well. We seek the guidance of our Creator if we are wise and we fail miserably when we think we know what God wants or says.
In the end, seeing God in all the moments and situations of our life is key. Perhaps being open to the possibility that what we view as an affliction may actually be a blessing. Those that we view as different, may actually have the answers to unsolved an unimagined wealth in God's love.
God, if you will help me in this problem, then..... NO!
For acceptance and love in God and less bargaining in human terms, we pray.
Acts 9:1-9
Meanwhile Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any who belonged to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ He asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ The reply came, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.’The men who were travelling with him stood speechless because they heard the voice but saw no one. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. For three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.
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