Wednesday of Holyweek

       I have always wondered what role I may be playing in the betrayal of Jesus. I dont think I have gone ourt of my way to turn as Judas seemed to do.  But I have made decisions that are wrong and counter to myself, my own well being, and perhaps been hurtful to others. I am no angel, I have no allusions that I am. I will confess that I claim to have a good heart and good intentions as if that means anything. 

         I don't think that Judas was necessarily that evil either. If anything perhaps he was impatient and was guilty of an unrealistic zeal. Impatience and zeal can get you into a great deal of trouble.

       When it come down to it, impatience is a lack of trust that things will turn out ok.  It is a unwillingness to place yourself in the hands of the Potter. How many times have you heard a story of someone who scrupulously planned something only to have plan mixed by an event, perhaps even by death. Prudent planning is crucial of course but we have to be patient and above all listen and be patient. 

       About that unrealistic zeal? Again, impatience on our part but maybe simply arrogance. Do we really know what is the most important? We think we see the whole picture, we know what the problem is and we are going to fix it. Again, planning is prudent but listening is also key.

       There is great wisdom in listening, and respecting the higher power, human and Divine that may have a better solution in mind than we could possibly imagine.

       Judas was a zealous follower of Jesus. He took Jesus’ message about the poor to heart, he held the purse strings too. It has been alleged he mismanaged funds and ‘skimmed’ funds too. That is hearsay and more justification to hate to my mind. What we do know and see is an impatient and zealous believer who feels things are not going the way he wants. Arrogance and impatience. Judas is not as thoughtful about what He wants, that is Jesus. 

      We can see that good intentions, impatience and arrogance can intersect in a very bad way. It happened once ( at least) and surely will happen again.  For patience and peace, for listening and less arrogance, we pray.

Matthew 26:14-15
We pray. One of the Twelve, the one called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and asked,
"What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?" So they counted out for him, thirty pieces of silver.