Common sense

        My beloved 'Pop' was both an attorney and a policeman. He certainly was an interesting person of both wisdom and intellect, his growth as a person was somewhat lost on some of my siblings as his circuitous route to wholeness had left some of them rather scarred. He and I had a rather good relationship, calling each other almost daily in his latter years. I was truly blessed. One of the things that I revel in are the pearls he could come out with. As a cop and lawyer, one was that laws were made because not everyone has common sense.

         I thought of that when I read this passage from Mark. Poor King Herod and his 'word'. To save face he had John beheaded. A parent with any lick of common sense would have punished Herodias for merely asking for such a 'gift' and dismissed his promise. Perhaps it is the arrogance of being King or being rich that allowed Herod to have himself backed into a corner.

       Transitioning here to my totally gay marriage ( it has no significance here except that I love to say it, love to live it ), one of the things that we feel is a real asset to us as a couple is our ability to learn and to be flexible to change when we see something going sideways. We do not feel compelled to stick by a course of action as if the decision was etched in stone.  We don't find it necessary to carry through on a obviously bad decision just because that is the way we had planned it. Do not go in 100% when it's a mistake. That to me is common sense.

       It all reminds me of my own faith, raised Catholic by countless courses and 20 solid years of Roman Catholic education.  Should I remain 'in the church' when I am labelled as intrinsically disordered by canon law? What do I do with the myriad positions and beliefs that I  personally do not agree with or accept? In some ways my forthrightness forced me into a position of decision. My honesty and respect for "the Church" was not mutual. My honesty got me ostracized and laicized. I was welcomed by the Episcopal church and specifically some Episcopal Franciscan Monks. As it turns out, just as I was a closeted gay man, I was also a closet Episcopalian. I was always more in line with the freedom of beliefs and the Spirit of God that is so alive in this denomination.

        Where am I going with this? How many of us remain in a church for family, convenience, tradition when in our hearts we know we do not agree with a vast majority of the beliefs, doctrines and positions that they hold? From birth control, to divorce, to the penchant to sin by avoiding scandal at the hands of pedophiles and harming countless young souls in the process. As a gay person, can you really just dismiss that you are considered "intrinsically disordered" by doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church? Can you bifurcate your personality without self loathing by staying in a church that feels you are less than? Can you dismiss the greater church even if some people and a few parish priests make you feel welcome?

       The common sense thing here is to cut your losses and leave. Find a church that welcomes you as the gift of God that you are - as you are. There are communities of faith, Jewish, Christian and Muslim and still others, that recognize the beauty of diversity of God's creation in every one of us.  Are you committed to stay closeted, filled with self loathing and wearing blinders to how the Church proper really feels about you?

      Are we all Herods that are locked in to a course of action, beliefs or plans because it seems all pre-arranged. Too complicated and too late to change now?  If our faith holds any significance to us, if our relationship with God is real and meaningful, then our worship and surroundings should reflect that.  Just some things to think about this brisk cold morning.  It is the common sense thing to do.

         

Mark 6:13-29

They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

 King Herod heard of it, for Jesus’ name had become known. Some weresaying, ‘John the baptizer has been raised from the dead; and for this reason these powers are at work in him.’ But others said, ‘It is Elijah.’ And others said, ‘It is a prophet, like one of the prophets of old.’ But when Herod heard of it, he said, ‘John, whom I beheaded, has been raised.’

 For Herod himself had sent men who arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because Herod had married her. For John had been telling Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.’ And Herodias had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. But she could not, for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he protected him. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed; and yet he liked to listen to him. But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his courtiers and officers and for the leaders of Galilee. When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, ‘Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it.’ And he solemnly swore to her, ‘Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.’ She went out and said to her mother, ‘What should I ask for?’ She replied, ‘The head of John the baptizer.’Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, ‘I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.’ The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her. Immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl. Then the girl gave it to her mother. When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb.