Taking stock

       I was not always close with my Pop since he had moved out when I was 5 years old. However, in his later years we were blessed to have a very close relationship, speaking almost every day. It seems ironic how much more I miss him than my Mom who was my primary caretaker and parent. I cherished many of the pieces of wisdom and stories he told. I repeat them quite often. One of many such tidbits involved friendship. He noted that a true friend was someone who would respond to a call from you in the middle of the night and come to your aid without knowing what the circumstances were. Of course, you would do the same if the situation were reversed. Your friend would always be there and he stressed, if you have one person like that in your entire life, you are a blessed person. Friends are treasures for sure. True friends - priceless.

           Many years after Pop had passed, I came to the inkling that I was gay ( I am ). It was a torturous episode in my life. Coming out is never easy and for me the route was quite circuitous and complicated. One of the problems is, it is such a dramatic change to people who know and love you and you really have no real way of knowing how they will react. Parents have abandon children, children disowned and friends have turned their backs on people. You never know.  People that I suspected would be supportive merely tolerated me. There are family that claimed to love me and  dropped me quickly like a hot latke. My own children were the most supportive ( a real blessing ) and people who were merely acquaintances become my staunchest allies.  New friends emerged and the circuit of God's love for me was not diminished one bit.

          The question that arises from today's Scripture passage has a great deal to do with friends. Who they are, how they are revealed, what a true friend is.  As people are the conduit of God's love for us, it isn't such a bad idea to take stock of those who we are grateful for, those who are friends, perhaps even those who were friends and are no longer.

           Just as the route to my realization that I am gay was quite a circuitous one, so is the love of God a mystery beyond our comprehension. People come and go, gracing our lives for all of our journey or part of our journey.  Can we be thankful for the graces of people and friends that have been bestowed in our lives?  A morning meditation.

Sirach 6:5-17

Pleasant speech multiplies friends,
   and a gracious tongue multiplies courtesies. 
Let those who are friendly with you be many,
   but let your advisers be one in a thousand. 
When you gain friends, gain them through testing,
   and do not trust them hastily. 
For there are friends who are such when it suits them,
   but they will not stand by you in time of trouble. 
And there are friends who change into enemies,
   and tell of the quarrel to your disgrace. 
And there are friends who sit at your table,
   but they will not stand by you in time of trouble. 
When you are prosperous, they become your second self,
   and lord it over your servants; 
but if you are brought low, they turn against you,
   and hide themselves from you. 
Keep away from your enemies,
   and be on guard with your friends. 

Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter:
   whoever finds one has found a treasure. 
Faithful friends are beyond price;
   no amount can balance their worth. 
Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;
   and those who fear the Lord will find them. 
Those who fear the Lord direct their friendship aright,
   for as they are, so are their neighbours also.