Beloved disciple

       I have made mistakes and I have sinned. Oh, have I sinned. I am impatient and too vocal. If words could kill, I probably am a serial killer. I don't sound like a very nice person and I haven't even gotten into the details, so many details. Details is such a pleasant word, it excuses so much at the expense of responsibility or faith. 

       When I compare myself to others, which I know I am not supposed to be doing either (more sin?), I know that I am really not so bad. I am judged as a very nice, easy going and thoughtful person. Oh what a difference of vantage point can make. In spite of my many faults and shortcomings, weaknesses and foibles, I really am a decent person. I should say I always try to be. I also try to exert some extra effort to be nice to others. I almost sound schizophrenic.  Sinner or saint? I can see both.

           I recall as a youth in Catholic grammar school, there was a belief that God kept track of every sin, a ledger of  plusses and minuses.  We could only hope to end life in the black.  That concept seems a bit laughable now, childish for sure. I now know that in spite of my miscalculations, errant judgments and impatience, God sees much better than I do.  It isn't the rose colored glasses of a parent that says "my Johnny would never do that" when he's accused of bullying, racketeering or mass murder. I believe God sees it all and knows that She did not make any mistake. There is a diamond here.  Some dust, some minor flaws (perhaps) but a diamond in the process of polishing.  Or a better analogy might be that well known potter where God, with our cooperation, is creating a masterpiece of pottery, a vessel for the ages. 

       In the end, I know that somehow in spite of anything I may do or errors I may make, even a retreat from our relationship, God sees great things in me. I am convinced of that. I know that. God sees me and says ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’ I don't really know why, the details and I am humbled, but I do know it to be true. This knowledge is what keeps me going, striving to do better and love more.

        How can I convince you that it is the same for you? Because it is. God does not make junk and certainly knows what greatness is in you too. 

Luke 3:15-22

 As the people were filled with expectation, and all were questioning in their hearts concerning John, whether he might be the Messiah, John answered all of them by saying, ‘I baptize you with water; but one who is more powerful than I is coming; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing-fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing-floor and to gather the wheat into his granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.’

 So, with many other exhortations, he proclaimed the good news to the people. But Herod the ruler, who had been rebuked by him because of Herodias, his brother’s wife, and because of all the evil things that Herod had done, added to them all by shutting up John in prison.

 Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’