Long awaited love

       I like to think I am a patient person. Let's look at my husband and me.  In the moment, patience is not his forte. Myself, I have a peace of mind and philosophical view that allows me the time to wait for an answer. Perhaps it was the children I raised, it has a way of making one patient, or trying it! 

      But on another level, let's look at the patience we had in finding each other. He worked and I worked. I searched for God and served, He searched for the correct garments (worldwide for business) and it would seem never would we meet. We were each in our own world, yearning for wholeness that seemed a million miles away.  Perhaps patience gave way to resignation in some ways yet I know we both yearned for the wholeness of self acceptance and the wholeness of acceptance by another, mushy,  glorious love.

      So when I wake up a bit groggy from a nice nights sleep and I try to delve into today's passages from Scripture, all I get is to the part about 40 years. I mean I am really impatient for the lesson this morning and I can't get far beyond the 40 years noted in line one. Talk of impatience! But I cannot escape the notion of time and waiting for an answer.  How long did Saint Monica wait for the conversion of her son that she prayed so hard for? The answer by all accounts was 17 years. I prayed for my entire life and while I continue to do so, it was not until about the age of 50 that I was graced with the revelation and gift that I am gay. That is a long time hiding in a closet that I didn't even realize I was in! But I prayed and yearned to be close to God and her godliness, to be at peace and whole as I had been created to be.  Looking back now, so many things seem obvious, one of which is the patience.

        My patience in my own way and my most beloved husband's patience in his world was rewarded by the unlikely meeting that brought us together. God does work in mysterious ways and answers prayers in ways we could never imagine. I am not sure how I would have responded at age 10 if I had been told, 'wait forty years', then you will find peace, fulfillment and love. The answer is of course is patience but more a willingness to be open to God's plan versus our own often carefully crafted, if not crafty plans. We must have a willingness and openness to God's plans that often lay like easter eggs in the big game of life. 

         Patience is a hard virtue to uphold if you perceive the time of waiting. Patience is easy and timeless when you focus on what is the ultimate gift, loving and God's love for us.  While hubby and I are still tempted to ponder what it would have been like had we met earlier in life, we know that the real answer is to love more now. Enjoy and be thankful for the time we are graced with now. Patience seems irrelevant now that we are united in love. We are now living Gods love as example to others and as a gift to us.

       Praise God for the glorious wait, my husband has been worth waiting for.

Acts 7:30-43

 ‘Now when forty years had passed, an angel appeared to him in the wilderness of Mount Sinai, in the flame of a burning bush. When Moses saw it, he was amazed at the sight; and as he approached to look, there came the voice of the Lord: “I am the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” Moses began to tremble and did not dare to look. Then the Lord said to him, “Take off the sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy ground. I have surely seen the mistreatment of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their groaning, and I have come down to rescue them. Come now, I will send you to Egypt.”

 ‘It was this Moses whom they rejected when they said, “Who made you a ruler and a judge?” and whom God now sent as both ruler and liberator through the angel who appeared to him in the bush. He led them out, having performed wonders and signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea, and in the wilderness for forty years. This is the Moses who said to the Israelites, “God will raise up a prophet for you from your own people as he raised me up.” He is the one who was in the congregation in the wilderness with the angel who spoke to him at Mount Sinai, and with our ancestors; and he received living oracles to give to us. Our ancestors were unwilling to obey him; instead, they pushed him aside, and in their hearts they turned back to Egypt, saying to Aaron, “Make gods for us who will lead the way for us; as for this Moses who led us out from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has happened to him.” At that time they made a calf, offered a sacrifice to the idol, and revelled in the works of their hands. But God turned away from them and handed them over to worship the host of heaven, as it is written in the book of the prophets:
“Did you offer to me slain victims and sacrifices
   for forty years in the wilderness, O house of Israel? 
No; you took along the tent of Moloch,
   and the star of your god Rephan,
     the images that you made to worship;
so I will remove you beyond Babylon.”