Dollaring

       If the spirit of Vatican II could be embodied, surely it would resemble my pastor from 30 years ago. He was a saintly Irish immigrant with a brogue to match and he had a full grasp about what faith and love were all about.   He was quite good with money, especially catching those who had the ability to offer what the parish community needed. Even so, he rarely spoke of money. He did that only once a year and he argued quite successfully for his version of  'the tithe'.

            He had approached me to be one of the speakers for one of his fateful weekends in October. My commitment was not so much substantial as it was consistent. I think that was what caught his eyes when scanning the parish coffers. Father, I'd say, "I don't tithe, how can I ask others to?"  Tithing is ten percent and we were to note the frequency of which that is noted in both Hebrew and Christian Scripture.  Our good Father though was not asking ten percent. Shrewd as he was, he was asking the parishioners to consider trying to give only 5%.  He would note that surely, you all give to other good causes. Five percent seemed a righteous amount to support the good works of our own small ( 5000 family ) parish community. Perhaps more shrewd and more realistic, he'd argue that even less was fine as long as it was a budgeted amount, not some piddly 'dollaring'. That is, reaching into your pocket for spare change or a dollar bill when the basket was passed. Shrewd indeed.  When he retired, there were no mortgages, 2 new pipe organs, a new rectory, a substantial physical plant, immense outreach and a cool million (US) in the bank. 

        What is the point to this story when I am not asking for a penny myself.  The whole reading today speaks to what is really important.  My pastor knew that. We had a tremendous faith community and strong outreach to all those in need. The ministries we offered and services we ran were an exemplar. Of course that cannot be run on faith alone. Cold hard cash is needed but Father knew that it was not the be all and end all.  How many of us grew up with two or even three collections a week. Parish support, special debt fund of some sort and of course one or other of the Bishops' pet funds were required or Father would be in deep trouble from downtown ( the diocesan offices ).

          While we all attend to our faith and loving and the challenges and rewards of all that, we have to know that while not of the world, we are part of the world.  The utilities are not offering free electricity to churches, nor heat, nor light nor anything else. Sometimes we need to be reminded that good works require good old hard currency to back them up.  Father did that once a year, never a word otherwise. Can we remember not to dollar? Can we remember that we are here to help each other in whatever manner we can in a considered , thoughtful and consistent way?

Matthew 23:23-26

 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is these you ought to have practised without neglecting the others. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel!

 ‘Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may become clean.

Dancing in the sand

       I was talking with someone the other day and reminiscing, as we often do when we get older. Ah, the god old days. Not always as good as we might recall. Further, we often miss out on the present when we dwell too much on the past. 

       In the passage from Scripture today, there is a bit of a litany. God takes care of everything. At yet other point in Scripture it notes how beautifully dressed are the flowers of the fields and they do not worry. How much more will God take care of you? Under the circumstances here, one cannot help but think back over ones life. When reminiscing with the chap I spoke of earlier, I noted some of the amazing twists and turns my own life had taken. The clincher was ' I never would have imagined being married to a man at the age of sixty! ' It becomes more of an overall amazement with what God has done in my life than longing for those good old days. After all, I have seen a lot of shit in my day. If not that, then trying times , the struggle to 'come out' from my cocoon and much, much more. The challenges were many, the road not straight, but windy and hilly and filled with all sorts of challenges. 

        One thing that I do know, like the writer of today's passage, God was and is always with me. God always sustains me, holding onto me, holding me upright, feeding me, nurturing me, loving me enormously and forgiving me without bounds. 

       What a wonderful life, but more than good old times, a good old journey.  Not dwelling on the past but recognition of the love of God in my life and that I have been taken places that I had never dreamed or had even conceived of.

       Where will we go from here? The journey for each of us continues. The possibilities are as infinite as God if we choose to accept it, cooperate with it.  God loves us more than we may ever be able to know and is with us always. In a sequel to "footprints in the sand", the writer looking at the footprints of their life, notes a period when the prints in the sand are all jumbled, going round in circles, doing figure eights, seemingly mindless in direction. A real mish mash. The writer says 'see God, I was wandering aimlessly and you were not there'.  God responds , 'don't you recall, you were not alone wandering, that is when we danced.' 

         God wants nothing more than an intimate relationship in which we dance together, no cares not worries just the relational love that is God. God will take care of the rest.

        

Job 4:1, 5:1-11, 17-21, 26-27

Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered:

‘Call now; is there anyone who will answer you?
To which of the holy ones will you turn? 
Surely vexation kills the fool,
   and jealousy slays the simple. 
I have seen fools taking root,
   but suddenly I cursed their dwelling. 
Their children are far from safety,
   they are crushed in the gate,
   and there is no one to deliver them. 
The hungry eat their harvest,
   and they take it even out of the thorns;
   and the thirsty pant after their wealth. 
For misery does not come from the earth,
   nor does trouble sprout from the ground; 
but human beings are born to trouble
   just as sparks fly upward. 

‘As for me, I would seek God,
   and to God I would commit my cause. 
He does great things and unsearchable,
   marvellous things without number. 
He gives rain on the earth
   and sends waters on the fields; 
he sets on high those who are lowly,
   and those who mourn are lifted to safety. 
‘How happy is the one whom God reproves;
   therefore do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. 
For he wounds, but he binds up;
   he strikes, but his hands heal. 
He will deliver you from six troubles;
   in seven no harm shall touch you. 
In famine he will redeem you from death,
   and in war from the power of the sword. 
You shall be hidden from the scourge of the tongue,
   and shall not fear destruction when it comes. 
You shall come to your grave in ripe old age,
   as a shock of grain comes up to the threshing-floor in its season. 
See, we have searched this out; it is true.
   Hear, and know it for yourself.’ 

Entering the mindless morass of mediocrity

       In the putrid political quagmire that we find ourselves drowning in these days, we long for rationality. We long for common sense and civility to reign.  We want facts to be facts. No such luck. The caustic chasm seems wider than ever with no bridges to traverse.  No one to stand up to the orange albatross and his minions.

       I recall a time when I could easily note the difference between a politician and a statesman. The latter was still a politician but rarely, if ever, lost sight of their values and was still willing to really work in earnest and with respect with those whose opinion differed. All for the good of the citizens and the nation, if not the world. I recall only a few of those men in my entire lifetime. Sadly, today we have lost the last of that dying breed,  John McCain.

      Is there anyone who has stood for what is right and still understands and respects his adversaries?  Men of unimpeachable wisdom and faith now no longer exist. They only ply their own jaundiced views and fail to stand up even to their own leader and even when they see the wretchedness of the ideas and evil of the person. Stupidity reigns supreme!

       This is not a really a political jab nor is it really a canonization of John McCain even as we recognize the gift he was and the fragility of all life.  It seems we must now plant a new crop. No statesmen left. How can we gain back what we have so blithely given away?

       I have known several heroes in my life. The greatest of course is our Lord and Savior.  Fully human, fully Divine.  Can we emulate Jesus and those human beings in our lives that strive for truth, decency and understanding? In so doing we will become better people, more faithful and loving. Maybe we can lift ourselves out of this mindless morass of mediocrity. Maybe we can become like John McCain, standing for our beliefs, recognizing others have different beliefs and sharing a vision of a rich United States, the last best hope of mankind.

      John, you will be missed.

       
     

Primacy of conscience

        I find it interesting how Jesus fully acknowledges the authority of the scribes and the Pharisees. At the same time he says as much as to ignore them. They are no good for you. If this is the basis of the primacy of conscience, it is a very good one. How true it is even today with the hypocritical ( Roman ) church fathers.

         I recall the time I had a spectacular Pastor, He was a teacher, an example and just a great guy. He was accused of being a pedophile by a small group of self righteous believers in an autocratic restrictive and unloving church.  As it turned out he was guilty of cruising porn on his computer, steamy, hot, heterosexual porn. As a celibate man this seems more an indictment of the Roman church's requirement to have Priests to live in an unnatural state of life. There never was an evidence of pedophilia. But the mere accusation was enough to through my faith into a tailspin of doubt.

       It was at this juncture in my journey that I realized that I ( we ) do not need intermediaries with our relationship with God. Guides yes. Leaders of worship? yes. But God seeks a personal and intimate relationship with each of us. We must be as knowledgeable as we can and have a one to one with God. We cannot relinquish the responsibility of using our brain, heart and conscience when communing with our loving creator.

          So do as they say, not as they do and by all means use the primacy of conscience that is granted us by virtue of our creator.

Matthew 23:1-12

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, ‘The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat; therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it; but do not do as they do, for they do not practise what they teach. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. They do all their deeds to be seen by others; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long. They love to have the place of honour at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues, and to be greeted with respect in the market-places, and to have people call them rabbi. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all students. And call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father—the one in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.

Frenemy

        There are several characters in history and in the very present who have all the earmarks of being a villian. Think of a public figure who lies, torments, perhaps even tortures. Think of someone who promulgates hate and revenge, even a myopic view of justice and citizenship.  I can think of several that I might dare say have little chance of redemption although I do firmly believe people can change and see the light so to speak. Got a person in mind? Well this is Saul, or Paul as we know him, that we are talking about.

         The zealous persecutor, killer and bane of Christians, saw the light, apparently literally, and was changed forever. If you were a Christian back in  the day, would you have accepted him into your community? I can hear the cries of 'liar', traitor and spy!

          I can only imagine, hope and pray such would happen to someone in current history. But in our daily, run of the mill lives, is there anyone who says that they have changed? How have we received them? or not at all?

          Jesus admonishes us to forgive 70x7 and to turn the other cheek. Can we do this safely and do we really want to do it at all?  Big issues and small issues, do we see forgiveness as even a consideration?

           Saint Paul is perhaps the second most important person in Christianity aside from Jesus himself. Without Paul, we might still be a strict sect of Judaism and gentiles would not be welcome short of outright conversion to Judaism first.  Paul is pretty darn important in the changes and message he spread. Very powerful. Would our own calling to forgive and accept others be less powerful if we truly believed and truly engaged the teachings of the one we call Messiah?

Acts 9:1-9

Meanwhile Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any who belonged to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ He asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ The reply came, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.’The men who were travelling with him stood speechless because they heard the voice but saw no one. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. For three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

Fake foods and sustenance

       When I attended seminary there was a required course on homiletics. You would probably agree, there is nothing worse that sitting in a church, synagogue, temple, mosque or even work and have to listen to someone droning on and on. I am reminded with today's passage of two things they taught us with regard to preaching. One is this, 'if you don't strike oil in the first 5 minutes, stop boring'. The second is, there is no need to convey all your learned wisdom as well as your life story in each and every sermon you offer.

        There is so much in today's passage, my mind is a twitter over what to say, how to limit my thoughts and absolutely, do not try to say it all!  So much neat information from how this fits in with the synoptic Gospels and the attending interpretations all the way to 'food that does not perish'. I'll choose the latter.

       When I was a young newlywed we were poor. We were so poor we collected soda cans on the beach for the 5 cent refund so that we could make a large pot of chili, enough to last through the week. Poor and dependant on the generosity of family and friends. Even then though, I think we both knew we had nothing to worry about. Times may have been lean but there are far important things we could have worried about. The lessons about what to worry about have only been compounded and reinforced through the years.  I recently read a novel in which a character states that worrying is just praying for something bad to happen. I'd add that it is misspent time and energy.

         What really gives us sustenance is God.  As Americans we probably are out of touch with how little food we really need to survive. We live in a defacto world of big macs and happy meals. Everything is oversized - as are most of us.  When I lived in the Dominican Republic, even for that short time I became embarrassed by the way we live in the United States.  This was an honest self reflection. I have come to know what little we need in the way of real food and how much more we absolutely need in the way of God. Sadly we can easily make food our God and that is a real abomination. Appreciate? yes. Worship, gluttony? No.

           What do you need to sustain you? What false foods do you consume?

          

John 6:16-27

 When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, got into a boat, and started across the lake to Capernaum. It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them. The lake became rough because a strong wind was blowing. When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the lake and coming near the boat, and they were terrified. But he said to them, ‘It is I; do not be afraid.’ Then they wanted to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the land towards which they were going.

 The next day the crowd that had stayed on the other side of the lake saw that there had been only one boat there. They also saw that Jesus had not got into the boat with his disciples, but that his disciples had gone away alone. Then some boats from Tiberias came near the place where they had eaten the bread after the Lord had given thanks. So when the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they themselves got into the boats and went to Capernaum looking for Jesus.

 When they found him on the other side of the lake, they said to him, ‘Rabbi, when did you come here?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.’

Blessings bestowed

       I try to be a very good person, Certainly I fail and there are times when I am sure I have failed miserably. I pray that I am not judged on those failed moments in my life. Rather, I would like to be judged on my intent and the few good things I actually have done, willingly done and lovingly done.  If there is a tally in heaven ( I doubt that there is ), I hope the plusses outweigh the minuses. 

        I am thinking about this as I take stock and thanks for all the wonderful things in my life that I have been graced with. Too many to mention but I try to acknowledge them. I cannot help but think "I must have done something good" , a line from the Sound of Music. What have I done to deserve such grandiose and lustrous gifts? Blessings on blessings.  Perhaps I am blessed to open my eyes and simply have the ability to see them. Someone else might only see the negatives from my life. 

       How would you see your own life?  Do you see the blessings or too busy lamenting any hardships? 

       The Scripture today goes to the heart of what we feel we deserve in life. Apparently what God sees and judges is not the human terms we often mete out.  Was it right that the person who worked one hour got a full days pay?  It seems to me that God is trying to tell us we are all graced not so much by what we do or did but because God simply loves us. God sees us as a parent, full of opportunity to become, to be and to love.  What we see as humans is mostly markedly different and skewed.

         We need to know that God loves us with reckless abandon because there is something in us that is innately good and full of glorious potential as she created us. God don't make junk. How many times have I written that down?

         Ask yourself, do you deserve the blessings? Know that you do and that God loves you at least as much as every other creation of hers.

Matthew 20:1-16

‘For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire labourers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the labourers for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. When he went out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the market-place; and he said to them, “You also go into the vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.” So they went. When he went out again about noon and about three o’clock, he did the same. And about five o’clock he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, “Why are you standing here idle all day?” They said to him, “Because no one has hired us.” He said to them, “You also go into the vineyard.” When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, “Call the labourers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and then going to the first.” When those hired about five o’clock came, each of them received the usual daily wage. Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received the usual daily wage. And when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner, saying, “These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.” But he replied to one of them, “Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?” So the last will be first, and the first will be last.’ 

An Episcopalian: free from tyranny

       I am a former Roman Catholic cleric. I was ordained and ministered in a thriving 5000 family community of faith. When I had an inkling that I was gay, I sought out a Catholic therapist in addition to my spiritual director and behaved in a decent and forthright manner.  When I came to realize that I was in fact gay, I knew what it meant for my ministry. The Church had no place for gay men who proclaimed the heresy that being gay was truly a gift from God. Doctrinally we are labelled intrinsically disordered. There would be no room for me if I chose to share my gift with even one other or perhaps, especially one other. It was suggested I seek a leave of absence, no need to speak the truth, just ask for a leave of absence.  But the horse was out of the barn as they say.  In my respect for the Church I was honest and forthright. The Church had already done the damage to itself in me by instilling in me the honesty and self respect I knew I deserved as a beloved child of God.  But the respect was not mutual and the vehemence with which I was laid down was, as I know now, to be expected.  Laicized and ostracized. Ironically, treated worse than had I been a pedophile.

      This is all ancient history now. The reason I note it is because I held great anger over how I was treated and as a result, I decided it best to stop writing this blog for over a year. The anger with which I wrote was not healthy and not consistent with a message I wished to convey.

      As took up my pen again, renewed and without anger I am still none the less fully aware of the situation of the Roman Catholic hierarchy. They are wrong on so many levels as to diminish if not erase any moral authority they once may have held over me and the faithful at large. I note this not in anger but as a statement of fact as I once again witness the vapid and tarnished fruit of the Churches actions. Witness the recent news from the State of Pennsylvania. Horrific and not wholly unexpected. I am sure the accusations and apologetics for these crimes are now ramping up to full steam. The Catholic Guild will be outraged that mother church is being attacked.

      What this says to me is that I made a wise choice in leaving not only the ordained ministry but the Roman church proper. As an Episcopalian I am freer to be the faithful person God has called me to be. As it turns out, I probably was an Episcopalian all along based on several criteria. What will I get for my exit? I suspect, God's respect and hopefully, prayerfully, and with careful attentiveness to God's message, a place in heaven as today's passage alludes to.

     We must always be attentive to what God is saying to us even when it means turning away from the faith of our fathers. Fathers can be misguided and wrong hearted. Jesus himself attests to this when he chastised and called out the religious elite of Judaism. What is so different now?  The Roman church has embraced errant policies and theology while abandoning the faithful and literally, abandoning the children in it's care. Walk away, wait, run from the leaders of unjust and unfaithful love. Better you should have a millstone tied around your neck in complicity. 

      If you examine your  beliefs, the decision and judgments of your heart, mind, soul and conscience, you may be like me, an Episcopalian and perhaps always were. 

Matthew 19:23-30

 Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Truly I tell you, it will be hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.’ When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astounded and said, ‘Then who can be saved?’ But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘For mortals it is impossible, but for God all things are possible.’

 Then Peter said in reply, ‘Look, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?’ Jesus said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man is seated on the throne of his glory, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold, and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.

Constant conversion

       This passage speaks of a stiff necked people, of the actions of humans being repetitive, how prophets are killed and not listened to, not respected.  All one need do is open a newspaper, listen to TV and see how we seem doomed to repeat history. How many faults of our fathers have we willingly accepted or overlooked in ourselves with gusto, authority and arrogance.

        Supposedly the answer is to be 'born again'.  Still, we fall into many of our old ways, easily swayed into specious conclusions and errants actions 'in the name of God' and continue often without thought. We still are very much a stiff necked people.

         All these repetitive actions and errors we commit, the listening we do not do, the cover-up of the Roman church that we thought we were done with. What shall we do, be born again? Will that solve the problems now?  

       Like clothes that are not cleaned once and good forever more, we must be continually washed, continually be 'reborn'. The actions of the  'examen' are not a born again, but a daily born again, and again, and again, and again.  We are called to constant conversion of heart. We are called to constant self examination, self reflection and active repentance for our failures to act in the name we claim as our redeemer.  Saying words means virtually nothing. Are you born again? "How special" the church lady would say. 

        We are called to be constantly in the rinse  and wash cycle, ever renewed. Why? Because we are ever loved and our actions are the hands and ambassadors of Christ.

Acts 7:44-8:1

 ‘Our ancestors had the tent of testimony in the wilderness, as Goddirected when he spoke to Moses, ordering him to make it according to the pattern he had seen. Our ancestors in turn brought it in with Joshua when they dispossessed the nations that God drove out before our ancestors. And it was there until the time of David, who found favour with God and asked that he might find a dwelling-place for the house of Jacob.But it was Solomon who built a house for him. Yet the Most High does not dwell in houses made by human hands; as the prophet says, 
“Heaven is my throne,
   and the earth is my footstool.
What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord,
   or what is the place of my rest? 
Did not my hand make all these things?”

 ‘You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you are for ever opposing the Holy Spirit, just as your ancestors used to do. Which of the prophets did your ancestors not persecute? They killed those who foretold the coming of the Righteous One, and now you have become his betrayers and murderers. You are the ones that received the law as ordained by angels, and yet you have not kept it.’

 When they heard these things, they became enraged and ground their teeth at Stephen. But filled with the Holy Spirit, he gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!’ But they covered their ears, and with a loud shout all rushed together against him. Then they dragged him out of the city and began to stone him; and the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul. While they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he knelt down and cried out in a loud voice, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’ When he had said this, he died. And Saul approved of their killing him.

That day a severe persecution began against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout the countryside of Judea and Samaria.

No need to steal

       It always amazes me ( yes, praise Jesus! ), at the realness of the scenarios the Gospel stories convey.  How would you approach a cure for yourself or perhaps more so, a loved one? The cure is so close you could touch it! What if you could touch it? What would you do, to what lengths would you go?  Of course your mind probably went to cancer or some other seemingly hopeless disease. What would you do in the presence of a cure?

       The woman in today's Scripture passage knows because her faith tells her so, she knows that her only and real possibility for healing is in Jesus Christ. She has endured all the other human possibilities. She didn't just pray, she also paid. She paid and endured for years, doctors, tests, diagnoses.  But as with anything, we do our best, whatever we can do, then leave it to God who is the ultimate and true healer. So, desperate, she reaches out to touch Jesus, a stolen brush of her hand. He'll never know. Except he does.

        The real gotcha here is that Jesus knows and most importantly for us ( besides the healing ) is that Jesus understands.  In tears she weeps because she has stolen a cure from the power of our Lord. Jesus stops and looks at her and says as much as ' I understand'.  Your faith is true and I love you.  Go now and be well. 

         All I can do is think of whatever illness or whatever sin, however horrible, that you or I could possibly commit, any mortal sin, and Jesus will forgive us and cure us. That is if we do so much to help ourselves and have faith in God. That is a real start. Maybe it is the whole journey for us. We try to help ourselves, we do, we pray and ultimately leave it in God's hands. No need for stealing. 

Mark 5:25-34

Now there was a woman who had been suffering from haemorrhages for twelve years. She had endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse. She had heard about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, ‘If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well.’ Immediately her haemorrhage stopped; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, ‘Who touched my clothes?’ And his disciples said to him, ‘You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, “Who touched me?” ’ He looked all round to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.’

Long awaited love

       I like to think I am a patient person. Let's look at my husband and me.  In the moment, patience is not his forte. Myself, I have a peace of mind and philosophical view that allows me the time to wait for an answer. Perhaps it was the children I raised, it has a way of making one patient, or trying it! 

      But on another level, let's look at the patience we had in finding each other. He worked and I worked. I searched for God and served, He searched for the correct garments (worldwide for business) and it would seem never would we meet. We were each in our own world, yearning for wholeness that seemed a million miles away.  Perhaps patience gave way to resignation in some ways yet I know we both yearned for the wholeness of self acceptance and the wholeness of acceptance by another, mushy,  glorious love.

      So when I wake up a bit groggy from a nice nights sleep and I try to delve into today's passages from Scripture, all I get is to the part about 40 years. I mean I am really impatient for the lesson this morning and I can't get far beyond the 40 years noted in line one. Talk of impatience! But I cannot escape the notion of time and waiting for an answer.  How long did Saint Monica wait for the conversion of her son that she prayed so hard for? The answer by all accounts was 17 years. I prayed for my entire life and while I continue to do so, it was not until about the age of 50 that I was graced with the revelation and gift that I am gay. That is a long time hiding in a closet that I didn't even realize I was in! But I prayed and yearned to be close to God and her godliness, to be at peace and whole as I had been created to be.  Looking back now, so many things seem obvious, one of which is the patience.

        My patience in my own way and my most beloved husband's patience in his world was rewarded by the unlikely meeting that brought us together. God does work in mysterious ways and answers prayers in ways we could never imagine. I am not sure how I would have responded at age 10 if I had been told, 'wait forty years', then you will find peace, fulfillment and love. The answer is of course is patience but more a willingness to be open to God's plan versus our own often carefully crafted, if not crafty plans. We must have a willingness and openness to God's plans that often lay like easter eggs in the big game of life. 

         Patience is a hard virtue to uphold if you perceive the time of waiting. Patience is easy and timeless when you focus on what is the ultimate gift, loving and God's love for us.  While hubby and I are still tempted to ponder what it would have been like had we met earlier in life, we know that the real answer is to love more now. Enjoy and be thankful for the time we are graced with now. Patience seems irrelevant now that we are united in love. We are now living Gods love as example to others and as a gift to us.

       Praise God for the glorious wait, my husband has been worth waiting for.

Acts 7:30-43

 ‘Now when forty years had passed, an angel appeared to him in the wilderness of Mount Sinai, in the flame of a burning bush. When Moses saw it, he was amazed at the sight; and as he approached to look, there came the voice of the Lord: “I am the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” Moses began to tremble and did not dare to look. Then the Lord said to him, “Take off the sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy ground. I have surely seen the mistreatment of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their groaning, and I have come down to rescue them. Come now, I will send you to Egypt.”

 ‘It was this Moses whom they rejected when they said, “Who made you a ruler and a judge?” and whom God now sent as both ruler and liberator through the angel who appeared to him in the bush. He led them out, having performed wonders and signs in Egypt, at the Red Sea, and in the wilderness for forty years. This is the Moses who said to the Israelites, “God will raise up a prophet for you from your own people as he raised me up.” He is the one who was in the congregation in the wilderness with the angel who spoke to him at Mount Sinai, and with our ancestors; and he received living oracles to give to us. Our ancestors were unwilling to obey him; instead, they pushed him aside, and in their hearts they turned back to Egypt, saying to Aaron, “Make gods for us who will lead the way for us; as for this Moses who led us out from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has happened to him.” At that time they made a calf, offered a sacrifice to the idol, and revelled in the works of their hands. But God turned away from them and handed them over to worship the host of heaven, as it is written in the book of the prophets:
“Did you offer to me slain victims and sacrifices
   for forty years in the wilderness, O house of Israel? 
No; you took along the tent of Moloch,
   and the star of your god Rephan,
     the images that you made to worship;
so I will remove you beyond Babylon.”

Moses

       So this is new ground from me. While I espouse the wisdom of any religion ( sans rules and rubrics ), I was compelled to take a selection from the Qur'an inspired by a coworker with whom I blessed to share an occasional discussion on faith.

        This selection of Sacred Scripture speaks of Moses, yes, thee Moses, the one we would recognize from Hebrew Scripture. You should really be aware of the connection and if you don't already, be sure to Google it at least. Here is a perfect prayer by Moses.

         Recognition of God.  Recognition that I am in need and that God is the only source of fulfillment of our needs.  Further, nothing specific and trust that God knows what it is we need and God will supply it.  How often  Have we ever prayed without asking for something specific? That is, we always seem to know what we want. Could we embrace the concept of thanksgiving for what we have and ask for whatever it is that God sees we need? No specifics from us. Let God take the wheel.

       One verse from the Qur'an and it is loaded with everything that speaks truth. We have praise, trust and acknowledgment of our need for God. Remember, God does not need us.  God wants us because we are the beloved children.  God's greatest wish is for mutual love and for us to be fulfilled as God made us.

Qur'an, Al-Qasas, Surah 28:24

So he [Moses] watered their flock for them. Then he retired into the shade and said, "My Lord, I stand in desperate need of whatever blessings You may send down for me."

Of Samaritans and Sunnis

       I am not sure how to say this next thing and make sense of it.  It speaks to  a cognitive dissonance and irrationality in our human behavior.  But here goes, I am not sure we can underestimate the loathing and feelings of superiority that most Jews felt for Samaritans. Take particular note that Samaritans were Jews themselves. It was God that gave these Samaritans, via Jacob, the very well at which Jesus and this woman meet.  How peculiar how we treat each other. The arrogance , feelings of superiority. The looking down upon people that we do. It is not unlike the irony of Shia and Sunni in Islam, both Muslim but the relations are strained at best.

         This passage just highlights once again Jesus and his rebellious, all inclusive nature. The Jews looked down heavily on Samaritans but yet Jesus has no problem speaking to this woman and further, spends several days in their community to boot.  Clearly, Jesus does not look down on these people. 

     I find it intriguing, what is the basis for so much of our own snootiness? The north looks down on the south. There are Canadians that look down on people from Newfoundland, calling them "Newfies" as perhaps their equivalent of rednecks.  I'd beg to differ just based on the play Come From Away.  I am sure there is a world of answers as to whom we all look down upon, religions, nations, ethnicities, races, sexual orientations.

      Is that what we have been taught?  Is this what religion teaches? Aren't the Scriptures witnessing to another lesson altogether?  If we cannot accept people based on the fact that they are children of God, can we at least try to educate ourselves into the differences but the more so the multitude of similarities we all have?  Do we all not love? Bleed? Are we not all called to God or some higher power and authority no matter what we call it? 

        Strike up a conversation with someone different, listen with an open hear not just hearing words with our ears. Spend time listening as Jesus did. 

        Know this, Jesus is still listening. 

John 4:27-42

 Just then his disciples came. They were astonished that he was speaking with a woman, but no one said, ‘What do you want?’ or, ‘Why are you speaking with her?’ Then the woman left her water-jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, ‘Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah, can he?’ They left the city and were on their way to him.

 Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, ‘Rabbi, eat something.’ But he said to them, ‘I have food to eat that you do not know about.’ So the disciples said to one another, ‘Surely no one has brought him something to eat?’ Jesus said to them, ‘My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to complete his work. Do you not say, “Four months more, then comes the harvest”? But I tell you, look around you, and see how the fields are ripe for harvesting. The reaper is already receiving wages and is gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, “One sows and another reaps.” I sent you to reap that for which you did not labour. Others have laboured, and you have entered into their labour.’

 Many Samaritans from that city believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I have ever done.’ So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them; and he stayed there for two days. And many more believed because of his word.They said to the woman, ‘It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the Saviour of the world.’

An unearthly shade of green

      In the musical Wicked, one of the songs notes 'The baby's coming'. It is the impending birth of Elpheba, who as it turns out is an unearthly shade of green. Uck! But like Jesus two thousand years ago, the message is being retold and re-imagined in this play. Forget about what you expect, what you have been taught and the correct place to play, pray or find redemption and goodness. Elpheba is no wicked witch at all.

         I really love this passage of Scripture. It is chock full of so many revelations about what Jesus' message is really about. The message of a real radical. Speaking with a Samaritan (say it isn't so!) Speaking with a woman! (a woman?? a harlot??) Not just speaking, but speaking as an equal, a conversation, a discussion (what could she possibly have to say?). And then Jesus drops the real bomb. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. As if to say, all the "holy places" and all the rules and rubrics and traditions are all bull shite! God wishes his children to worship in spirit and truth. Wow indeed. 

          I am not trying to diminish holy places. I will say that there are many thin places that are not holy places or places so designated. In fact, the religious elite by some of their actions make some so called holy places an ugly contortion of what God really intends.  Those rules and rubrics do little to foster faith but rather are designed to control.  Jesus knew as much two thousand years ago. 

         We are reminded of it again now. Elpheba, that wicked witch is not the evil we all believed she was. What surprises await us if we open our eyes to faith and love? Who will we find ourselves talking to? What unholy places will we find ourselves in that sheds the light of wisdom and God's love for all? 

John 4:1-26

Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard, ‘Jesus is making and baptizing more disciples than John’— although it was not Jesus himself but his disciples who baptized— he left Judea and started back to Galilee. But he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon.

 A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink’. (His disciples had gone to the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?’ (Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, “Give me a drink”, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well, and with his sons and his flocks drank from it?’ Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.’

 Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come back.’ The woman answered him, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You are right in saying, “I have no husband”; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!’ The woman said to him, ‘Sir, I see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshipped on this mountain, but you say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.’ The woman said to him, ‘I know that Messiah is coming’ (who is called Christ). ‘When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.’ Jesus said to her, ‘I am he,the one who is speaking to you.’

Increasing and decreasing

       I swear that there is a switch that is tripped when people become parents. They become more focused, more loving, unselfish and all giving. Let's face it, parents would do anything for our kids. It may be biological but it calls to mind the expression used by John, He must increase, but I must decrease. 

        As we get older and hopefully also as we get more faithful, we realize what is more important in life. This is the stuff of midlife crisis, realizing what we 'have' is not as fulfilling. We come to see that 'stuff' is not making us happy.  People come and go that we see are really the most important things in life. Love trumps 'stuff'.  So short of being parents, many of us come to the conversion moment as we get older that people are more important, moments are more important and God is ultimately the most important.

This is a natural and gradual progression akin to 'he must increase, and I must decrease.

         There are those that have the realization that material goods don't make me happy but a new set of toys will....or a new wife, or any range of "new" things. This is an aberration that sadly those individuals may never realize until it is too late. Too much love wasted, misspent or hoarded.

         The notion that He must increase is a guiding principle to life. Generally we all get it when we see our friends die off or we see people 'taken' too early in life.  Appreciation of what we have is a natural response. We realize our own mortality and faced with that, we see He ( God ) must increase and we decrease.

          In the sphere of faith alone, if we are proceeding correctly ( in my mind ), we grow into the knowledge that He must increase and we must decrease. Our faith tells us we are conduits of God's abiding and generous love and not the gods we may perceive ourselves to be or even the gods of the things we own.

         How do you see your life going? Who is number one? Who is increasing and who is decreasing?

John 3:22-36

 After this Jesus and his disciples went into the Judean countryside, and he spent some time there with them and baptized. John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim because water was abundant there; and people kept coming and were being baptized— John, of course, had not yet been thrown into prison.

 Now a discussion about purification arose between John’s disciples and a Jew. They came to John and said to him, ‘Rabbi, the one who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you testified, here he is baptizing, and all are going to him.’ John answered, ‘No one can receive anything except what has been given from heaven. You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, “I am not the Messiah, but I have been sent ahead of him.” He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.’

 The one who comes from above is above all; the one who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks about earthly things. The one who comes from heaven is above all. He testifies to what he has seen and heard, yet no one accepts his testimony. Whoever has accepted his testimony has certified this, that God is true. He whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for he gives the Spirit without measure. The Father loves the Son and has placed all things in his hands. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever disobeys the Son will not see life, but must endure God’s wrath.

Mutual exclusivity

       I never had any doubt that being gay and being a Christian were not mutually exclusive. This is in spite of the fact that I have heard all sorts of condemnations about what gay people "do" , how immoral they are, all about their "lifestyle" and perhaps worst of all, that my own church would label me as "intrinsically disordered". Really, it's right there in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  That's not the point though. After much soul searching and therapy and prayer, I found the courage to accept who I am, whom God made me, a gay man. So when I heard of a gay Bishop in the Episcopal church my ears went up like in Scooby-Doo!  I read all about him (Bishop Gene Robinson that is, not Scooby Doo ), saw a movie he was mentioned in and read a book he wrote called In The Eye Of The Storm. To me, this man showed just how well a life of faith and being gay can be integrated. He was one of my early heroes and a muse. So it is no surprise that when I heard he was going to appear at The Center in the Village, I had to see him.

        That was long winded, eh? The fact is, when someone touches you in your heart or soul, you would do anything to go and see that person. In the secular world it might be a musician or a band whose songs really appeal to you. It could be a poet or a painter or, a person of faith. So it is no surprise that when the Apostles really started to get going, slow starters that they were, people came out into the streets in order that Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them. The message of Jesus, his love, touches our very soul because he was human like us. God, yes. Human too. It is not so very hard to understand that people clamored to him and his message that being Godly and human are not mutually exclusive.

        This notion of duality is not something we always recognize. In fact, it is something we often hold in contempt.  As long as history has been written down, humans have tried to decide that you cannot be a Samaritan and good; you cannot be a native American and have a soul, you cannot be Black and be smart , you cannot be of Islam and be for peace or any other number things people often believe are mutually exclusive. I think Jesus may have been one of the first to point out that most of life's exclusions are not mutually exclusive at all.  Maybe it was something Jesus discovered as he lived his human existence. Maybe he was letting us know gently and by example. But Jesus was a rebel of the highest order and he lived a life of all embracing non-exclusivity.

            The plan then is to look at the news today, listen to neighbors, relatives and friends, read some radical Christian Scripture, and see in what areas or ideas I might find some things that I find are mutually exclusive. Can you accept that you are Godly and fully human yourself for example?  What would Jesus say?  Hint: The answer always involves love and understanding.

Today's spiritual exercise for Jesus' posse.

        

Acts 5:12-26

 Now many signs and wonders were done among the people through the apostles. And they were all together in Solomon’s Portico. None of the rest dared to join them, but the people held them in high esteem. Yet more than ever believers were added to the Lord, great numbers of both men and women, so that they even carried out the sick into the streets, and laid them on cots and mats, in order that Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he came by. A great number of people would also gather from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing the sick and those tormented by unclean spirits, and they were all cured.

 Then the high priest took action; he and all who were with him (that is, the sect of the Sadducees), being filled with jealousy, arrested the apostles and put them in the public prison. But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the prison doors, brought them out, and said, ‘Go, stand in the temple and tell the people the whole message about this life.’When they heard this, they entered the temple at daybreak and went on with their teaching.

When the high priest and those with him arrived, they called together the council and the whole body of the elders of Israel, and sent to the prison to have them brought. But when the temple police went there, they did not find them in the prison; so they returned and reported, ‘We found the prison securely locked and the guards standing at the doors, but when we opened them, we found no one inside.’ Now when the captain of the temple and the chief priests heard these words, they were perplexed about them, wondering what might be going on. Then someone arrived and announced, ‘Look, the men whom you put in prison are standing in the temple and teaching the people!’ Then the captain went with the temple police and brought them, but without violence, for they were afraid of being stoned by the people.