As a married person, I have made many interesting discoveries. One is that we sometimes tend to try and please our spouses in ways that we ourselves would like to be pleased. There are some inherent problems with this of course. Mostly, it requires very little listening, so this type of pleasing could easily lead to the law of diminishing returns. We all like to be listened to and within couples it is crucial for a strong, lasting relationship.
Today's passage though leads us perhaps a bit astray then by saying 'love your neighbor as yourself'. I happen to love ice cream. Even on this tiny island we are blessed with several fine ice creameries. I have to ask myself, did they follow me here? How much love is there for my neighbor if I offer them ice cream that they do not like? Worse, what if they are lactose intolerant or diabetic? Not much love there then really.
I am not a tremendous gift giver on birthdays. In fact, if it weren't for my husband, I'd likely forget them all. What my family has learned though is that I will be out somewhere, see something or other that I know is appropriate for a person, something perhaps that will tickle their fancy, something that will truly make them smile. A very thoughtful gift, and I will buy it and give it to them at whatever moment we are in. That pleases more than a thoughtless and often useless gift. It shows I was listening to their life and who they are.
No, the key to loving others is to listen to others like we like to be listened to. No one likes to be ignored, it's as if you don't even count. Rather than love on our own terms, perhaps listening ( and watching ) what other people need is the best way to love. In that way then you may be able to love that person rather more intimately, more akin to their needs and wants. It simply requires that we love at the very least, by listening.
I am not a tremendous gift giver on birthdays. In fact, if it weren't for my husband, I'd likely forget them all. What my family has learned though is that I will be out somewhere, see something or other that I know is appropriate for a person, something perhaps that will tickle their fancy, something that will truly make them smile. A very thoughtful gift, and I will buy it and give it to them at whatever moment we are in. That pleases more than a thoughtless and often useless gift. It shows I was listening to their life and who they are.
No, the key to loving others is to listen to others like we like to be listened to. No one likes to be ignored, it's as if you don't even count. Rather than love on our own terms, perhaps listening ( and watching ) what other people need is the best way to love. In that way then you may be able to love that person rather more intimately, more akin to their needs and wants. It simply requires that we love at the very least, by listening.
Matthew 22:34-40
When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’
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