Never, ever

     I have noticed over the years that whenever I say something akin to "no way" or "never", I wind up doing exactly what I protested about.  It is more than simply not imagining the future to be far different than I could have ever expected. On the simplest of levels I am talking about telling my Mom I will never eat onions! and now savoring them. ( preferably caramelized and smothering a burger with some Gruyere and rosemary aioli ).  I think when we say we "would never" , we very often find at some point that not only we will, we wind up saying "I did". It may be a peculiarity of life. 

      I really feel for Peter who says he would never deny Christ and winds up doing it thrice. This is no simple matter, certainly not akin to eating onions.  I find we are capable of incredibly dangerous and misguided things in life in spite of our best intentions. ( The spirit is willing, the body is weak ).  Where does that leave us all. What of Peter. He actually went on to be the number one disciple whom Jesus entrusted everything to. What does this tell us. The two facets of this passage that speak to me ( aside from what I am capable of ) is Peter weeping and the fact that Jesus did in fact entrust the Church to him.  These two facets speak of repentence or self reflection on the part of Peter and secondly, the amazing forgiveness of Jesus, often beyond our human worldly comprehension. Jesus does forgive us. Jesus knows what we are capable of.  

      I am not so arrogant as to think that this forgiveness is universal or comes as a guarantee that we can impose upon at will. We can't go out with the intent to kill and say 'but it's ok because God willl forgive me'. That is presumptous, arrogant and plain wrong. What is part of the equation is self reflection, remorse and the decision to move forward a changed or enlightened person. 

      What I need to realize is as much as God is willing to forgive me, God is also willing and ready to forgive everyone else as well.  Remember though that only God can see the conversion of heart and the repentance, none of us can.

Matthew 26:69-75

 Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant-girl came to him and said, ‘You also were with Jesus the Galilean.’ But he denied it before all of them, saying, ‘I do not know what you are talking about.’When he went out to the porch, another servant-girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, ‘This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.’ Again he denied it with an oath, ‘I do not know the man.’ After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, ‘Certainly you are also one of them, for your accent betrays you.’ Then he began to curse, and he swore an oath, ‘I do not know the man!’ At that moment the cock crowed. Then Peter remembered what Jesus had said: ‘Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.’ And he went out and wept bitterly.