A second chance

     Did you ever hear the expression, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me?

     The feeling of being hurt, betrayed, judged, wronged or abused leaves a rather fowl taste in ones mouth. Our initial reaction is a judgment, perhaps anger against the perpetrator.  Some might even opt for revenge. We know that this is not an acceptable reaction. Christians are called to offer the other cheek. Most faiths see the merit and wisdom of forgiveness if only because hate is so self destructive and self consuming.

     Then there are the mistakes we make. Lord knows out of ignorance, stupidity, arrogance or whatever, we make an abundance of mistakes. We make bad decisions, selfish decisions. We are easily swayed to the merits of bad behavior.  At this point we are on the receiving end of someone else's judgment, dislike or as I said, hate.

      In love and honesty, as much as I could understand at the time, I married as a young man and began to raise a family. I was graced with two wonderful children, my wards, my joy, an opportunity to mold, love and show them the joys and love of living and hopefully my faith. Actually our faith as I was not really a solo act.  It was not until I was 50 as you may know that I came to the realization that I am gay. This after years of spiritual direction, therapy and prayer.  Needless to say this was a tumultuous time in my life and by extension for my wife , children and anyone who knew me.

       While there was no malice aforethought, no intentions to deceive or no grand design of obfuscation, I found myself on the receiving end of a great amount of judgment, shunning, hate and just plain anger. I can understand that to an extent. I have often said that I can not really expect everyone to understand overnight what basically took me 50 years to discern.  But what does this really have to do with our reading today from Acts?

       It is all about second chances my friend.  I loved the reflection in the Episcopal Cafe today. There are times on whatever side of judgment you seem to be on that bare no resemblance to what we are called to believe. Whether it is turning the other cheek or Jesus' admonition to forgive '70 times 7',  the challenge and opportunity for second chances often seem slim in the reality of our daily lives.

     The act of coming out was a grand second chance for me. I was also graced by God to have met a man who offered me the opportunity to love and be loved, yet another second chance.  While one church abandoned me for 'attempting to marry another gentleman' , another church opened it's arms and embraced me wholly.  These last few years too have been milestones.  A new knee,  the discovery of an almost certainly fatal "widow maker" of an aneurysm,  surviving a perforated appendix, all point to second chances in my own life. I am graced to realize that these second chances have been offered to me. What do I do with that realization?  What did the Apostles do with the concept of second chances?      

     So we are offered second chances in life and it is up to us make the most of them. We need to be thankful for them and we need to offer them to others. As much as we can appreciate second chances that are offered to us, we need to make them available to others in any way we can. That might be by a simple acceptance of an I'm sorry with actual forgiveness. It might be as formidable as offering a leg up to someone in need on any kind of level.

     All I can say for me, for now, is to say thank you heavenly Father and thank you for the people you have placed in my life. Thank you for second chances.

Acts 9:26-27

When he [Paul] had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples; and they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. 27But Barnabas took him, brought him to the apostles, and described for them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus.