A second chance

     Did you ever hear the expression, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me?

     The feeling of being hurt, betrayed, judged, wronged or abused leaves a rather fowl taste in ones mouth. Our initial reaction is a judgment, perhaps anger against the perpetrator.  Some might even opt for revenge. We know that this is not an acceptable reaction. Christians are called to offer the other cheek. Most faiths see the merit and wisdom of forgiveness if only because hate is so self destructive and self consuming.

     Then there are the mistakes we make. Lord knows out of ignorance, stupidity, arrogance or whatever, we make an abundance of mistakes. We make bad decisions, selfish decisions. We are easily swayed to the merits of bad behavior.  At this point we are on the receiving end of someone else's judgment, dislike or as I said, hate.

      In love and honesty, as much as I could understand at the time, I married as a young man and began to raise a family. I was graced with two wonderful children, my wards, my joy, an opportunity to mold, love and show them the joys and love of living and hopefully my faith. Actually our faith as I was not really a solo act.  It was not until I was 50 as you may know that I came to the realization that I am gay. This after years of spiritual direction, therapy and prayer.  Needless to say this was a tumultuous time in my life and by extension for my wife , children and anyone who knew me.

       While there was no malice aforethought, no intentions to deceive or no grand design of obfuscation, I found myself on the receiving end of a great amount of judgment, shunning, hate and just plain anger. I can understand that to an extent. I have often said that I can not really expect everyone to understand overnight what basically took me 50 years to discern.  But what does this really have to do with our reading today from Acts?

       It is all about second chances my friend.  I loved the reflection in the Episcopal Cafe today. There are times on whatever side of judgment you seem to be on that bare no resemblance to what we are called to believe. Whether it is turning the other cheek or Jesus' admonition to forgive '70 times 7',  the challenge and opportunity for second chances often seem slim in the reality of our daily lives.

     The act of coming out was a grand second chance for me. I was also graced by God to have met a man who offered me the opportunity to love and be loved, yet another second chance.  While one church abandoned me for 'attempting to marry another gentleman' , another church opened it's arms and embraced me wholly.  These last few years too have been milestones.  A new knee,  the discovery of an almost certainly fatal "widow maker" of an aneurysm,  surviving a perforated appendix, all point to second chances in my own life. I am graced to realize that these second chances have been offered to me. What do I do with that realization?  What did the Apostles do with the concept of second chances?      

     So we are offered second chances in life and it is up to us make the most of them. We need to be thankful for them and we need to offer them to others. As much as we can appreciate second chances that are offered to us, we need to make them available to others in any way we can. That might be by a simple acceptance of an I'm sorry with actual forgiveness. It might be as formidable as offering a leg up to someone in need on any kind of level.

     All I can say for me, for now, is to say thank you heavenly Father and thank you for the people you have placed in my life. Thank you for second chances.

Acts 9:26-27

When he [Paul] had come to Jerusalem, he attempted to join the disciples; and they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple. 27But Barnabas took him, brought him to the apostles, and described for them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus. 

Of letters and langauge

     Letters seem like such an elegant way to correspond. Long before e-mail and the simple but miraculous telephone, people used flourished words and language to convey thoughts, news, love and concern. These are the things that provoked some thought this morning as I read from Galatians.

      I once found a cache of old letters that my mother had saved. In reading some of them I could not help but notice the exquisite penmanship and the thoughts conveyed so elegantly with words that seem almost abandoned today.  Communication today seems relegated to emojis and sound bytes. Hidden in these letters was an excellent lesson involving words. There had been a mention of thanks in this particular letter, a notation of a birthday gathering which apparently was great fun. 'There was coke and everyone was so gay'. One might think Granny was a coke fiend and that in spite of being a lesbian, she managed to create a wonderful family for us. Only the latter is true however, we have a wonderful family. There was no cocaine (coke) and being gay was a notation of happiness, perhaps giddiness and a genuine good time.

       Such is a lesson taken from a mere 100 years ago when words we use now can convey such a different meaning than it had such a short time ago.  One needs to look at the historical context of the letter writer. The times and phrases can mete out radically different meanings than we suppose. We need to step back with our minds eye.

       This lesson is never more true or important than with Holy Scripture. I often note the inclusiveness, love and generosity of Jesus in curing the Roman Centurions'  'pais'. What is a pais? How was that word translated and retranslated and interpreted and re-interpreted with a specific agenda and hopefully some amount of linguistic skills. Pais, at the time, was easily and acceptably a junior same sex lover.  A pais was a loved member of the Centurions household. Not a prostitute. Not a slave. He was a younger lover.  Is that how you learned it to be translated?  What up tight religious agenda was used to whitewash the word 'pais'?  

        How often are we mislead by letters and language, misused and guided by an agenda?  Care needs to be taken. In today's world of google, texting and emojis we can easily lament the loss of elegance in writing letters to one another or the speed of snail-mail. But what google and modern technology can counter with is the speed and thoroughness with which we can research and study scripture and what it can offer us with relative ease. Resources formerly known only to scholars are at our finger tips. Scriptural study and knowledge is not just the domain of a few lofty religious men and women.

           We can lament the lack of letters but we should learn the true meanings of words and always emulate the love, inclusiveness and purity of Jesus' love above all, no matter what Scripture appears to say 

Galatians 4:12-20

Friends, I beg you, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You have done me no wrong. You know that it was because of a physical infirmity that I first announced the gospel to you; though my condition put you to the test, you did not scorn or despise me, but welcomed me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. What has become of the goodwill you felt? For I testify that, had it been possible, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me. Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? They make much of you, but for no good purpose; they want to exclude you, so that you may make much of them. It is good to be made much of for a good purpose at all times, and not only when I am present with you.My little children, for whom I am again in the pain of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, I wish I were present with you now and could change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.