Warm embrace

Ephesians 3:14-19

           My Dad used to have me read books that he thought would be instrumental in forming my good character.  One of those books was called The power of your subconscious mind. Honestly, if you asked me to tell you all about the book I would be hard pressed to do so. I did however take away some thoughts and beliefs that stay with me to this day.  

           I grew up as "the product of a broken home", my parents were divorced. I say it that specific way because that's what the women of my church said about me and in close enough proximity that I could hear it. I realize how badly that affected me seeing as how they were after all 'church ladies'.  I believed it. When others were told they were special or a beloved child, I had stuck in my head that I was simply "the product of a broken home". I had a poor self image. I am sure being different as I was, even if I could not identify what it was, also made me feel it was true. I wasn't like other kids.

            From reading this book that my dad gave me, I realized that a great deal of what we believe is what we tell ourselves.  There is a part of our brain, our subconscious mind, that believes what others say and what we tell ourselves. In discussing the book with dad, he told me the story of a kid whose dad always called him stupid and so the kids believed he was stupid.  I was blessed in that in spite of the fact that parents were divorced, the both loved me fiercely.  They loved me each 100% thinking I suppose the other was not giving a 100%. I think I wound up with 200% or at least a lot more than many other kids get. That and the loving people around me and I fared pretty well even though I still knew I was different. I would even say I thrived  and it was on a Cursillo at age 17 that I finally embraced the supreme message in my heart and soul. That is, no matter who I was, and what I did or where I came from, I was loved by God. So loved in fact, that if I was the only inhabitatnt of this planet, Jesus still would willing give up his life just for me. Pretty powerful stuff.  This fact was etched in my soul and in every fiber of my being. In the ensuing years of marriage, illnesses, deaths and whatever happened, including ordination and the realization that I am gay, I knew I was loved and cherished.

              This would be the cliff notes version of my faith journey but it is what I think of when I read this passage. If I could give any gift to anyone, it would be to help them know in every fiber of their being  what this one line says: I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. Wow. Very powerful stuff indeed.

         How can I get you to believe that? How can I get you to know that so intently and intensely? So when you make a mistake in life you do not curse yourself and say how stupid you are thus risking have yourself believe it is actually true. It is not. You are the beloved child of God. You are the beloved disciple. 

       I you are someone in the spectrum of the LGBTQ rainbow, you may not have been told how wonderful you are. You may in fact have been raised to think you are a deviant and a sinner.  My Easter prayer is that you come to know how wonderful, holy and healthy you really are. Not loved in spite of being gay, but loved because you are gay. Embracing being gay is a gift you can give to God. He longs for you do so because in so doing you acknowledge the special person and special love he created in you to share with the world.

       You are so loved and so special, so good and so holy, embrace it, touch it, love it, be thankful for it.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name. I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.