As this is the feast of St. John, I thought I would re-run a blog entry I wrote in September of 2012 about John, the Apostle, Evangelist and the "disciple whom Jesus loved". So here it is, all about
'that' disciple whom Jesus loved. While it would be wishful thinking to run with the idea that Jesus was gay, this reading especially and others do certainly point to a special relationship between John and Jesus.
Let's address the Jesus is gay idea. The references to the "disciple whom Jesus loved" not withstanding, there is no reason set forth in the accepted books of holy scripture that would suggest to me that Jesus was gay. However, let's not bypass what I just said, "the accepted books" of scripture. As it turns out, there were (are) many books that told the story of Jesus. It was up to man, and in this case I mean the church, to decide which books were accepted or forbidden. A judgement was made as to which books woud be officially accepted. This was a judgement based on many criteria but basically the church was deciding which books were actually the inspired word of God. Some of the criteria were things like, did the book in question actually have a following? Was it used in worship? Did the book have a sense of truthiness to it? Did the facts bear out what we already know and accept? Did the book agree with the other accepted texts. Since these decisions were made a very long time after the actual life of Jesus and the church was in somewhat of a formative stage, questions arose about what the text in question might say going forward. For example, with regard to our question of Jesus being gay, did the church want a text (book) in the accepted list of books (the canon) that would give the image or message that they wanted to portray and set forth. This raises theological, sociological, historical and many more questions about how and what books were accepted into the canon. Lets just be aware that there are in fact other texts ('books') that exist and could have made it into our accepted scriptures of the New Testament. I will leave it to you to google The Gospel of Thomas, The Gospel of Mary and the Gospel of Bartholomew and many others.
In reference to John 19:25-27, his could easily be seen as a man dying (on a cross) and him saying to his most trusted and loved friend (partner?), see my mother here? she is now your mother too. I want you to honor our relationship by making her your mother now. And as Jesus was hanging there, he calls to his mother and says to her as he looks at his BFF John, "behold your son". This is quite a powerful image that John is portraying of Jesus. Even if it does not signify an ancient right of same sex family dynamic where John accepted Mary as a mother-in-law so to speak, the whole concept here is one of a very deep relationship between Jesus and John. While the idea of Jesus being gay might seem repulsive, heretical and insulting to some, it is not meant to be demeaning in any way at all. The images of John (who was younger than the other apostles) sitting next to Jesus with his head resting on Jesus' chest are straight from scripture. It isn't disgusting, it is loving and warm. The relationship of some sort is clearly there.
Why is it so referenced in John's Gospel that he (John) is "the disciple whom Jesus loved"? I struggled with that for years. I believe that as the writer of the Gospel, John had the assuredness in his heart that Jesus loved him. While Jesus loved all his disciples, John is the writer of this Gospel and he is conveying what he felt even if it means incorrectly, or correctly, that he (John) thinks that Jesus loves him more than the other apostles. Sounds childish perhaps, like Tommy Smothers saying "Mom loves me best!". John felt that Jesus loved him best! At the very least we know that John believed it because he saw fit to immortalize that thought in his Gospel by the writing numerous times "the disciple whom Jesus loved". I wish we could all could know that with such certainty because it is true. Jesus does love us!
The idea that John is aware that Jesus loves him as a disciple is a foundational belief. As I've said before, I wish we all knew that 'Jesus loves us' in our hearts as certain as we know what our name is. Whether the scriptural statement "the disciple whom Jesus loved" means more and that there was a more significant bond between Jesus and John is up for interpretation. I personally do not know but I like the idea that Jesus could appreciate the attraction and love of another man. In his complete knowledge of creation (since He was there from the very beginning), he knew that within his created world there were examples of both hetero and homosexual activity and attraction across the spectrum of the animal kingdom. One can only believe that it was part of his design to begin with. Bear in mind, I am speaking of loving and attraction, not immoral sexual activity.
Was Jesus gay? Who knows. Is it really important? It certainly goes against accepted belief but there is more information out there to pursue in that line of thought. You can research it yourself and decide.
I am content to not know either way for sure. I am sure that I am a disciple whom Jesus loves. Are you aware that Jesus loves you?
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