Party on Garth.

Nehemiah 12:27-31,43

          Perhaps I woke up in a whimsical mood but after I read the passages today I want to party! This passage speaks about people being gathered together in the city and one of the other passages today

( 2 Thessalonians 2:13-3:5 ) speaks of being "first fruits".  Talk about taking liberties with translations, all I could think of was the gay community ( first fruits? ) coming into the city to celebrate, as in pride parades. 

          This passage today speaks of coming into the city to offer sacrifices but we know that there is only one sacrifice. Jesus gave up his life so we could live both now and all eternity. God wishes us to have the freedom and to execute our lives completely according to his plan. That is, whomever he made us to be in all our glory. And now I am drawn back to that pride parade.

          Of course whatever we do in life should involve discernment and cooperation with God's plan and who he made us to be but more than that, no matter what our life is it should be filled with joy and love. In fact, if you are a true believer you are the most likely to feel the joy and exude it in everything you do. I think God loves a great party and once again I am back to the pride parade.

          I think our local pride parades are not until June ( both here on the island and in the big city ) but we should always celebrate and revel in who we are. 

          Share the love always, party on, celebrate who you are!

Now at the dedication of the wall of Jerusalem they sought out the Levites in all their places, to bring them to Jerusalem to celebrate the dedication with rejoicing, with thanksgivings and with singing, with cymbals, harps, and lyres. The companies of the singers gathered together from the circuit around Jerusalem and from the villages of the Netophathites; also from Beth-gilgal and from the region of Geba and Azmaveth; for the singers had built for themselves villages around Jerusalem. And the priests and the Levites purified themselves; and they purified the people and the gates and the wall.

Then I brought the leaders of Judah up on to the wall, and appointed two great companies that gave thanks and went in procession. One went to the right on the wall to the Dung Gate; They offered great sacrifices that day and rejoiced, for God had made them rejoice with great joy; the women and children also rejoiced. The joy of Jerusalem was heard far away.

Hide and seek wisdom?

Wisdom 7:7-14

          I have been to a number of wakes and funerals as of late. I see the pain and anguish that resulted from the long suffering illnesses and then the relief of the loved ones. They are relieved of watching their beloved suffer and at the same time feel the intense loss of that loved one. No where in any of the scenarios that I saw were people concerned with anything material. They were rightly focused on loss and the love of their relationships.

          At a wake the other evening there were poster boards full of pictures, a growing trend along with video loops of pictures splashed on a big screen adjacent to the casket. The pictures last night showed this gentleman in pictures with things that meant a great deal to him, things he enjoyed. Eating, boating, golfing, country club, family. I am sure they all enriched his life but I am also sure that the family would part with any and all of it just to have him back in their arms.

         I began to think again about how we must appreciate everything in our lives. Surely be thankful for whatever material things you have been graced with but most important of all is the people in your life. More important than jewels, gold or any material thing. People and the love we share is more valuable than anything. To appreciate that and to celebrate it and live it daily is true wisdom.

         One of the life examples I am always drawn to when I think about appreciation and material versus true happiness is Christina Onasis. Money surely did not bring her happiness or true love.  Money seemed only to torment her. Perhaps something to remember when we pray to win the lottery.

          Another example of what is important at this time is the obits I read. How many times have I read about "a lifelong friend" or worse, no mention that the person was gay. It's as if the relationships, love and what is such an integral part of their lives and who they were did not exist. As much as I loath a one dimensional view of our community, that someone would be defined by only being gay, it pains me to see such an important aspect of our lives and love summarily dismissed. How horrible to be in a closet in life and then into death. 

        Like Tevye,  who knows what is most important in life but laments that it would be no sin to have wisdom and wealth, we should strive for the wisdom of accepting who we are, reveling in the love, fellowship and relationship we are all called to live and appreciate.

Therefore I prayed, and understanding was given me;
I called on God, and the spirit of wisdom came to me.
I preferred her to sceptres and thrones,
and I accounted wealth as nothing in comparison with her.
Neither did I liken to her any priceless gem,
because all gold is but a little sand in her sight,
and silver will be accounted as clay before her.
I loved her more than health and beauty,
and I chose to have her rather than light,
because her radiance never ceases.
All good things came to me along with her,
and in her hands uncounted wealth.
I rejoiced in them all, because wisdom leads them;
but I did not know that she was their mother.
I learned without guile and I impart without grudging;
I do not hide her wealth,
for it is an unfailing treasure for mortals;
those who get it obtain friendship with God,
commended for the gifts that come from instruction. 

The trials of a lifetime

Matthew 4:1-11

          Numbers often play a role in scripture. My favorite has been when the Apostles ask Jesus 'how many times should you forgive' your neighbor, up to seven times?' Jesus' response is 'not up to seven times, but seventy times seven times'. The significance of the umber seven indicating you should forgive into infinity.

           In today's passage Jesus goes into the dessert for forty days and forty nights. These numbers should sound familiar.  In Genesis, it rained for forty days and forty nights, Lent is forty days, the Jews wandered in the desert for forty years and now Jesus enters the wilderness to be tested by the devil for forty days and forty nights. Perhaps this is indicative of a generation of man, the number forty is mentioned well over 100 times in the Bible.

             The meaning is almost always related to a time of trial or purification.  Whether the 'trial' is put there by the devil is another question, we are always presented with trials. There are ways to cheat in school as a kid, ways to lie and cut corners at work, offers of cute guys to sacrifice the sanctity of your marriage, the list is endless. We are tempted for our entire life and in almost every situation.

               Those who waver, those we consider wishy washy, are the ones who are most likely to succumb to such trials.  What we need is a solid focus in life. For some that is not even God it could be some higher moral order but the fact remains that there is a focus. If God is your focus there is still an even finer line. Are you good because you fear eternal damnation? Or, are you good because you feel in your heart the message of love that Jesus lived and which to simply do what he would do?

         As with anything in life, solid relationships or solid lives, they both begin within oneself. The core of our being must be focused and true. I'm not saying focused on the self, I am saying the individual is focused and self assured that they have self worth, are loved and then it can be focused outward in a most positive way. When you live this way, trials becomes quite easy. When a trial comes your way, the response is quick and immediate, you always focus on the correct path because it is part of who you are. You cannot be untrue to yourself or your mission.

        Live honest, live true, be you.

        

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’ But he answered, ‘It is written,
“One does not live by bread alone,
   but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” ’

Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, saying to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written,
“He will command his angels concerning you”,
   and “On their hands they will bear you up,
so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.” ’
Jesus said to him, ‘Again it is written, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” ’

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour; and he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Away with you, Satan! for it is written,
“Worship the Lord your God,
   and serve only him.” ’
Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.

Striving for last place

Mark 9:33-37

          Just the other day I was returning home  rom the state capital on business. I was certainly not the last car to arrive for the ferry home to our delightful island paradise but in directig my car I realized that how they positioned me meant I would certainly be the last one off the boat.  I was not extremely happy about it either.  It was however a safe journey, I did in fact get off the boat and arrived home just fine.

          How many of us strive to be last? If I am taking this reading correctly, we should want to be last. There are others who are in need. Even aside from need,must we be at the front of the line for everything?  As much as this island is a paradise to me, it is in fact an incredibly wealthy area. Part of reason it is fertile ground for preachers is so many need to be repent from the rat race of the me first, the bigger than the Jones attitude and the seemingly constant one upsmanship.  It is a challenge for many people to step back and be happy with what they have been graced with. Instead of having what you want all the time, simply be happy wanting what you already have.

              The idea of letting others be first and putting yourself last and at the service of others seems the antithesis of today's philosophy. From the food store line to the best spot on the expressway, many people clearly feel the need to be first. After reading this passage, where would you be on the spectrum of putting yourself last and at the service of others? When I think of behaving like children as it mentions in this passage, have we learned the simple kindergarten lesson of sharing and not being selfish. Just a thought for today.

               

Then they came to Capernaum; and when he was in the house he asked them, ‘What were you arguing about on the way?’ But they were silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, ‘Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.’ Then he took a little child and put it among them; and taking it in his arms, he said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.’

Modern martyrs

Acts 8:1-8

          The state of the early church was quite bad. Jesus had been crucified. He had risen but there was still a great fear of being dragged off. Stephen, the first deacon, was stoned to death as this passage alludes to. This passage also speaks of a pre-converted Paul, err, Saul who is going around killing Christians, placing them in jail. Things are looking bleak. The faithful are scattered though still preaching and living the Word.

           Sometimes we too are faced with adversity. Some people when they are pushed, push back hard, some recoil and shrivel up.   People who have been marginalized  have great empathy when they read these passages because they know what it is like to be shunned, persecuted and tormented.

             People of color very often have vibrant faith because they know exactly what it is like to by unduly persecuted, marginalized  and told (in word and deed) that they are not worthy.  Sometimes the fabric of society perpetuates such wrongs.  It only will be taken for so long before people who have recoiled decide to rise up and strike back at the oppressors.  Human history is full of stories of peoples rising up against oppressors. This is the stuff of which heroes and martyrs are made of

           By all accounts, the gay community should have a vibrant faith.  In the face of being marginalized and demonized, though they are welcome in many churches if not leading them, as long as they are on the down low. How many Catholic priests are gay and silent to the abuse heaped on them by the very church they serve. This makes fighting back and speaking up even more challenging.  The gay community is somewhat scattered. The L-G-B-T-Q's aren't always attuned to each other even though the rising up has begun. Stonewall and similar stands have accentuated our demand for our equal rights under the law and that we are chosen and beloved children of God, no better than anyone else but certainly no worse.

        As Stepehen was the first martyr, there will be martyrs in every cause. The causes that elevate humanity and seek dignity and a voice to love and freedom are the ones worth actually dying for. I pray none of us will have to give our lives simply to be who we are. As I recall the persecutions under Paul, I cannot help but think of the Tyler Clemente's, the Harvey Milk's and the  Matthew Shepherd's in our world.  We may be scattered  and we may be persecuted but we are called to dignity and to stand our ground as a God given right.

          

And Saul approved of their killing him.

That day a severe persecution began against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout the countryside of Judea and Samaria. Devout men buried Stephen and made loud lamentation over him. But Saul was ravaging the church by entering house after house; dragging off both men and women, he committed them to prison.

Now those who were scattered went from place to place, proclaiming the word. Philip went down to the city of Samaria and proclaimed the Messiah to them. The crowds with one accord listened eagerly to what was said by Philip, hearing and seeing the signs that he did, for unclean spirits, crying with loud shrieks, came out of many who were possessed; and many others who were paralysed or lame were cured. So there was great joy in that city.

Eyes wide shut

Luke 24:13-35

        For years now I have played a game. The prayer group I attended for many years focused on the upcoming week's Sunday readings. We discussed them at length, prayed and of course ate cake and drank coffee. I was always interested to see if the sermon on that upcoming Sunday had any relation to what we had discussed. In a similar way, I write my Sunday blog entry before sunrise as is my habit.  I often wonder if the presider will come away with a similar message as I did. Yesterday I was completely shot down so I decided to revisit yesterdays passage in light of what the good Brother said.

        I had written of seeing things new or differently and about the breaking of the bread. Our preacher spoke of things being hidden from sight by God intentionally until such time as we are ready to see. That is a fascinating idea, an idea I could not help but apply to my own life. Perhaps it is true of many people. It certainly seems as valid as anything I wrote.

        As a light example I thought of going to all my son's tennis games so long ago. I did not understand any of it other than getting the ball over the net. Forget totally about getting the ball within certain lines and I was completely lost at scoring. It was all Greek to me. Fast forward 30 years and I am invited to take up tennis myself - for the first time. All of a sudden it all makes sense. Is it me? The teacher? What lifts the veil of ignorance that allows me to see what previously seemed unintelligible?

            Not too many years ago at about 50, I began to realize I am gay. Looking back I am astounded that I could not see what clearly seems obvious in retrospect. I still recall telling someone dear to me that I was gay, their response was "it's about time".  I wish they had told me but then, could I have seen it?  I can explain so many reasons why I could not see it, good Catholic boy, married with kids, I rationalized and did whatever was mentally necessary to avoid admitting what some part of me knew or feared. When the time was ready it began to become clearer. With prayer, friends, therapy and strength, I was able to see it and say it out loud to myself.

             The idea of not seeing until you are ready makes sense to me. There are those that have there eyes wide open and cannot see for one reason or another. There are people who cannot see because their eyes are wide shut. I am in no position to judge or say for anyone, perhaps not even myself. I know that I am a faithful and loving person, I harbor no ill, no malice and I try to be a truly good person. I believe my faithfulness and love were blessed and rewarded by God.  I am now openly gay, have a wonderful family and as I said yesterday, an amazing husband. We celebrate 2 years of wedded bliss tomorrow.

          All I can suggest is that the idea of being blinded is a well founded idea or 'take' on scripture. Our choice is to give life our all, to try to be faithful and loving and keep our eyes wide open as much as we can. In this way, we can say we tried and have no guilty feeling for those things which seem to elude us for whatever reason. Be grateful for what you have been graced with and be grateful for what you are given.

Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem,

and talking with each other about all these things that had happened.

While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them,

but their eyes were kept from recognizing him.

And he said to them, "What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?" They stood still, looking sad.

Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, "Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?"

He asked them, "What things?" They replied, "The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people,

and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him.

But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place.

Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning,

and when they did not find his body there, they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive.

Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said; but they did not see him."

Then he said to them, "Oh, how foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared!

Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?"

Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things about himself in all the scriptures.

As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on.

But they urged him strongly, saying, "Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over." So he went in to stay with them.

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them.

Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight.

They said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?"

That same hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven and their companions gathered together.

They were saying, "The Lord has risen indeed, and he has appeared to Simon!"

Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Eyes wide open

Luke 24:13-35

          

           In a few days my husband and I will celebrate our second anniversary of being legally wed. Although our commitment to each other goes back a few years before that, this is the anniversary that celebrates our commitment to each other with witnesses and all the legal rights and responsibilities which we joyously embrace. I really don't want to go into all the details of the courtship between my husband and myself. I do want to say this though, what we started with was a friendship and he helped me a great deal (and still does) but specifically at the time, it was about dealing with feelings and eventually coming out. He was the one that urged me into therapy. He is the one that listened to my seemingly psychotic rantings, meanderings and thoughts.  It had been years since he came out but he did not judge and did what a true friend does, he stood by, listened and supported me.  

           Imagine my surprise when I realized I was in love with this man, someone I had known for a while, certainly not my first male friend, certainly not my first love interest.  I think that's where I should leave off with him. Just suffice to say, I began to see him in a different light than I had previously viewed him.

             I can imagine how shocked those disciples were when they realized who they had been walking with and how stunned they were when, in the breaking of the bread, they realized it was Jesus. The disciples were perhaps a bit self absorbed in their own problems and what just happened in Jerusalem. 

           In good times and in bad, we can be so self absorbed we fail to see the sky falling, a truck coming or true love standing at our feet.  You can forgive the Apostles, they lived with this God-man, travelled with him, loved with him, expected so much only to be seemingly let down like a rock. They were let down, fearful they might be next to be dragged off to a waiting cross. They desperately were trying to put all he pieces of the puzzle together, very self absorbed.

            What is it that is so revealing and basic in the breaking of bread? Is this the mere eating of a meal together? Certainly that has a levelling effect and when we take the time to eat a meal or settle in for coffee hour after services, we become bound together, often we get a better glimpse of people we worship next to. What happened at Emmaus though is even more profound. The breaking of the bread was sharing a meal but it was ritual and it was Sacramental in the deepest sense of the word. The Apostles experienced the Sacrament that Jesus instituted at the last supper, that Sacramental Passover meal bringing together not only their Jewish heritage but remembering what would happen and be celebrated. That is, the whole suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus.  The breaking of the bread was gift offered (by Jesus) and gift received (by us). How powerful a moment and it all came rushing back in that breaking of the bread. It brought the disciples right back and opened their eyes wide open.

              So I would ask what opens our eyes?   One might easily jump right to the worldly and say a hunky man, a wonderful delicious model but an object. That tends to open my eyes. But imagine when you find that the object is more than that, a good person, he has intellect, a keen mind and a huge heart. How wide would your eyes be open then? 

               That is the worldly. What happens when we break bread together?  What of the breaking of the bread in a ritual way in church? What kind of re-member-ing do we experience? Are we brought back to the sacrifice offered, given and received by us? Are we keenly aware of what Jesus really offered us and why?  He broke the bread, his own body, for us but most importantly for you. If you were the only person alive, God would gladly offer himself up again for you. He would accept the betrayal, the spitting, the jeering, the nails and the gasping and yes, even death - for you.  What an act of love. Are your eyes open?

          When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them.

Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him.

          All for you.

            

Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem,

and talking with each other about all these things that had happened.

While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them,

but their eyes were kept from recognizing him.

And he said to them, "What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?" They stood still, looking sad.

Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, "Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?"

He asked them, "What things?" They replied, "The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people,

and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him.

But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place.

Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning,

and when they did not find his body there, they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive.

Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said; but they did not see him."

Then he said to them, "Oh, how foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared!

Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?"

Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things about himself in all the scriptures.

As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on.

But they urged him strongly, saying, "Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over." So he went in to stay with them.

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them.

Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight.

They said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?"

That same hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem; and they found the eleven and their companions gathered together.

They were saying, "The Lord has risen indeed, and he has appeared to Simon!"

Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.