Entering into our history

        I started reading the Bible yesterday for a class where we read the entire Bible, cover to cover, in 90 days. It is quite daunting. I like to read but picking up Genesis and starting to read the required pages for the day seems like I have started a marathon with nil training. It seems especially so when I know I have just as much to read today, and tomorrow and so forth. No room for slackers!  One of things that I have noted besides the copious notes I make, is that there is a real sense of history, a sense of relationship with God even if some of it seems a bit wacko.  Be that as it may, I feel a sense of common history. Three of the world's major religions are based in the story of Abram, Judaism, Islam and Christianity.

             While I feel that sense of connectedness and history, I see that Jesus may have had a moment like this in today's passage from Mark, a great aha moment. I often wonder when it was that Jesus knew who he truly was and when he knew what he knew. As a child did he have a full awareness of his Divine nature?  This passage speaks to me that while Jesus may have had an inkling, he certainly may have had an epiphany when he was Baptized by John. Certainly if a voice literally came out of the heavens saying ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’, well that would be a huge clue. The fact that  Jesus immediately went out into the wilderness also is very telling.  It is such isolated and 'thin spaces' that we often go to listen and hear our heavenly Father.  Maybe this was the dawning of a crucial moment for Jesus as a human and especially His divinity.

           I am reminded of some of the thin moments in my life but secular and also of a religious nature.  However ill I may speak of the Roman Church, the moment I lay prostrate in the aisles of the Cathedral and was ordained is deeply touching, humbling and an acknowledgment of the service that is a part of my very nature.

            I also recall the time my daughter was born. I was there front and center and it was a most incredible and powerful moment. A life created, gifted and graced.  She still is and the awe of that moment is not lost or forgotten in any way.

            When I review the genealogy of the Genesis pages  and feel that connectedness, I am reminded of so many 'thin moments' or 'thin spaces' in my life.  A silent retreat in a monastery, a walk in the desert with my husband, a silent meditation in a labyrinth, all  moments of holiness, humanity and divinity with my creator.  What thin moments do you recall from your own life?   Are you will to make time for yourself and your creator in silence and separation from the distractions of the world?

Mark 1:1-13

The beginning of the good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

 As it is written in the prophet Isaiah,
‘See, I am sending my messenger ahead of you,
   who will prepare your way; 
the voice of one crying out in the wilderness:
   “Prepare the way of the Lord,
   make his paths straight” ’, 
John the baptizer appeared in the wilderness, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And people from the whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem were going out to him, and were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins. Now John was clothed with camel’s hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. He proclaimed, ‘The one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to stoop down and untie the thong of his sandals. I have baptized you with water; but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.’

 In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him.And a voice came from heaven, ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’

 And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. He was in the wilderness for forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.

Hitting the nail on the head

       The first thing I did was Google, "who wrote Isaiah?" and the answer magically appears. The answer is not truly important to me at this moment. I know that the authorship of Scripture is a compendium of authors that speak richly and intimately about a loving relationship with God.

       This passage from Isaiah hit the nail right on the head. THIS is what I want every single person to know. That God loves them so much that had they been the only person on earth Jesus still would have taken human form and still would have willingly been nailed to the cross - just for you.

          That is the essence of what I'd like to convey. It's what I want everyone, especially the marginalized and victimized, to know in every fiber of their being. KNOW God loves you in your heart, mind and soul. It is not for us to do all the understanding of why? or How could God love me? That may be beyond our understanding. But know it to be true. God created you, God loves you, God will never abandon you. It doesn't matter what religion you are either. God is far beyond our puny visions, machinations and creations.  God is not limited by how we see Her. God does not love you more or less because you are a Buddhist, or a Catholic  or a Muslim or a Jew. God simply loves you. Ok, not so simply because God loves each one of us enormously.  If you ask, how could God love the singular me out of the population of over 7.5 billion people? God is far bigger and more complex that 7.5 billion people or 7.5 billion universes.  Far, far beyond our comprehension. 

       Our job is to sit. Be. Know. That God loves us as in Isaiah. Our job is to share that certainty and love and try our best to be in touch with the essence of God within us.  Be the prism that generates the rainbow of diversity, love and awe of creation.   Be still and know "I am".

Isaiah 43:1-7

But now thus says the Lord,
   he who created you, O Jacob,
   he who formed you, O Israel:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
   I have called you by name, you are mine. 
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
   and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
   and the flame shall not consume you. 
For I am the Lord your God,
   the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
   Ethiopia and Seba in exchange for you. 
Because you are precious in my sight,
   and honoured, and I love you,
I give people in return for you,
   nations in exchange for your life. 
Do not fear, for I am with you;
   I will bring your offspring from the east,
   and from the west I will gather you; 
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up’,
   and to the south, ‘Do not withhold;
bring my sons from far away
   and my daughters from the end of the earth— 
everyone who is called by my name,
   whom I created for my glory,
   whom I formed and made.’ 

Of Sodom and sight

       The Bible is certainly a magnificent work of God; a collection of texts written by his beloved creations to spell out our faithful and sometimes troublesome and not so faithful journey of love in relationship with our Creator. This accounts for the myriad stories, repetitive stories and styles from litanies to love songs, to poetry to parables. It really is a master work, no pun intended.

          Yesterday, by tweaking a few words her and there, I tried to bring one of the texts up to a modern attentions. Sadly though, sighted people remain blind to reality while the sight challenged sometimes see more than anyone.  It's an interesting dynamic. People can, and often do, cherry pick passages to suit their own agendas, blind and often willfully ignorant of the realities of the world around them.

           Today in Revelation there is a quote that easily could be brought into the present without any tweaking. “I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing.”  Is that how we feel in these United States?  What we need is to start taking care of each other. The arrogance and blind willful ignorance of wealth is as much as debilitating sin as it was 2000 years ago.

            Before the Incarnation, the Bible was not the Bible so much as the Scriptures and by that it referred to Hebrew Scriptures.  Long before there was exegesis of Christian passages and before Christians perhaps overwhelmed the Jewish community, there were Jewish scholars, Rabbi's and teachers who looked at , studied and interpreted what Christians call Hebrew scriptures. 

         One such example is what Christians did to interpretation of that part of Genesis          ( 19:1-38). Hebrew interpretation of the passage indicates it deals with a lack of hospitality.  After Jesus walked the earth and rose and the Church seemed to develop a penchant for puritanical sexual male dominated mores, the meaning of that passage changed. It became an anti-gay tract against homosexuality. A real reader of the passage would know however that it refers to, not any kind of real relationship but, two forms of rape. Rape of two men        ( angels actually ) to demean and subdue them and then the rape of Lot's two daughters whom Lot freely puts forth in place of the two men. Lot says  "Let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please."   How long is it that Christian leaders and so called scholars point to this very passage as a stricture against homosexuality. Early Rabbinic scholars pointed to these passages to point out that the problem with Sodom and Gomorrah was that they were well off and not charitable. That is the judgment of Sodom and Gomorrah. It is not dissimilar from the condemnation that God writes of the Laodicians in today's Revelation passage. 

            One of the others passages today is about Jesus creating mud with spittle and curing the blind man. What do we need to be willing to see for ourselves? When Fox news is spewing fake facts and  propaganda that plays to one's fears and judgments; when so called holy men rail from the pulpit unjustly against homosexuals for their deviant lifestyle, are you willing to lay yourself bare for God, open your eyes and arms to all of humanity? Will we be judged as Sodom and Gomorrah was for their arrogance, selfishness and lack of hospitality? Can we see that it is not any kind of gay agenda ( of living decent loving lives ) that is evil but instead the self righteous who molest, commit adultery, sexting and carrying on and living immoral lives all while they rail against everyone else from the gays to immigrants?

              The old native American admonition to not judge until you have walked a mile in their moccasins may be a really noble effort to open one's eyes. How can we open our eyes to the truth of God's love, true scriptural scholarship and the unrestricted and all encompassing love of God. Lord, help us to open our eyes.

Revelation 3:14-22

 ‘And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the origin of God’s creation:

 ‘I know your works; you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to spit you out of my mouth. For you say, “I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing.” You do not realize that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. Therefore I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire so that you may be rich; and white robes to clothe you and to keep the shame of your nakedness from being seen; and salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. I reprove and discipline those whom I love. Be earnest, therefore, and repent. Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me. To the one who conquers I will give a place with me on my throne, just as I myself conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches.’ 

Gay Revelation

        I have take great liberty in rewriting some of the today's reading from the book of Revelation. Below is a modified version followed by the original text. It sprung to my mind as truth. It is not the sole truth, it is not the all encompassing and only truth but it is truth.

        The LGBTQ community has always been a vastly misunderstood, marginalized and vilified community. I don't believe it is much different that the Samaritans that fell outside the norms of those in power, the rule makers and those that pass judgment.  Today the most vocal and vociferous judges of the LGBTQ community are not the Temple elite, they are people that claim to be Christians. They are the same 'Christians' who support and defend heinous actions and hate on many others fronts as well.  The LGBTQ community to them are the most targeted because of their agenda. The gay agenda, the one where we live in loving acceptance of ourselves, love God, our fellow man ( no pun intended ), live peaceful, loving lives and try to bother no one. That gay agenda is apparently also the mark of a target.

        God knows so differently and loves every one of her creations so this new version offers love and hope to the LGBTQ community. 

Revelation 3:7-13

 ‘And to the guardian angel of all those who are gay, LGBTQ I write:
These are the words of the holy one, the true one,
   who has the key to the closet,
   who opens the closet that no one will shut,
     who shuts and no one opens:

 ‘I know your works. Look, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. I will make those of the Christians of Satan who say that they are Christian and are not, but are lying—I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and they will learn that I have loved you. Because you have kept my word of patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth. I am coming soon; hold fast to what you are, so that no one may seize your crown. If you conquer, I will make you a pillar in the temple of my God; you will never go out of it. I will write on you the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem that comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to my gay people. 

Revelation 3:7-13

 ‘And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:
These are the words of the holy one, the true one,
   who has the key of David,
   who opens and no one will shut,
     who shuts and no one opens:

 ‘I know your works. Look, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. I will make those of the synagogue of Satan who say that they are Jews and are not, but are lying—I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and they will learn that I have loved you. Because you have kept my word of patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth. I am coming soon; hold fast to what you have, so that no one may seize your crown. If you conquer, I will make you a pillar in the temple of my God; you will never go out of it. I will write on you the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem that comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. 

The Surplice contoversey

     Here's a confession.  Quite often I never make it through morning prayer. I was taught that when I came to a part of Scripture from the hours that spoke to me, I should stop and meditate on that section, line or subject.  I am sure my Bishop would not have caught his breath at the mention of the word 'meditation'. His attentiveness to policy was only surpassed by his penchant for covering up scandal and having the right refrigerator for the right wine involved.  Thousands of dollars for multiple refrigerators in his stately 'apartment'. But I digress.

       So this morning I only reached the part where I begin to read about the holy person for the day. Today it is William Laud. What stuck me almost immediately about this Archbishop of Canterbury ( 1633 to 1645 ) was the controversy about use of surplices. Controversy might be a mild word. In any event the attire that one used in worship or as a member of the choir was the point of this great debate which escalated far beyond that until William spent four years locked in the tower and was eventually executed. These people were serious about their religion, appropriate garments for worship and adherence to tradition.

         Now lets move forward to me coming out 12 years ago.  I met a man and started a relationship that eventually had us moving in together. Two somewhat middle aged men moving in together later in life.  Each of us was aware that we might be set in our own ways and have specific ideas about how things should be done. Also, we would have to somehow learn to share a defined space. In the process of religious training and the process of coming out and divorce, I was acutely aware of the willingness to give things up. It was easy for me to see that most things are really of little import.  I can tell what is truly important. My partner, now husband, while having no formal religious training, was acutely aware of how blessed we were to have found each other and that most everything else was far less important. The key was that we were together and everything else paled in comparison.

         There once was a controversy in my home parish where a Deacon had made Communion host at home with his wife for the Thanksgiving service. He added a dash of honey ( you know, of locusts and wild honey? ) to the recipe. The controversy was immediate. The resultant hysteria had the phone wires to the Bishop's office practically melting with anger. The Sacrament was invalid!  Sinner! How dare that Deacon! 

         I would never make light of someones faith, but rules and rubrics?  I think it is important for me ( and us ) to assess what is truly important in  our lives, our lives of faith as well as our secular lives.  Sometimes we can be beholden if not imprisoned by our need to have things this way or that. Everything must be just so. Our compulsive natures can rule and ruin us.  What is really important?

          The Pharisees had countless rules that had to be maintained in order to worship correctly and be be a good observant Jew. Jesus himself railed against such practises saying that they made people fit for hell.  Do we create a hell with our attentiveness if not demands that things go a certain way, things are done a certain way?  Is not our faith and love paramount?  What is it that God is asking us to do?

       Personally, I still like a good cassock to walk around the house in as I get going, having coffee, praying and writing. That however is certainly not going to be a demand or my day will be ruined.  The important thing of course, is the coffee.

On H2O

       When I was a young boy, probably about 7 or 8, my Dad took us on vacation to a place called Sebago Lake. It seemed like a wonderful place and I was enjoying the fact that I was with my Dad. I am sure my older brothers have their own memories and not as simplistic as mine. The lake itself was enormous and as I recall you could go out quite far into the water at our location and it remained rather shallow. An occasion arose when I was going to be going for a ride in small boat, I believe it was our old Grumman Sport Canoe. I was to enjoy the paddling around. Unfortunately I enjoyed no such thing.  I was so small, and the lake, close enough to touch, was vast, enormous and scary - and I could not swim. Knowing my Dad I certainly had a life vest but that doesn't hold the favor of logic to an immature 8 year old. My fear was real and intense.

        That memory came bubbling up when I read today's passage from Mark. The comparison of the Apostles "straining at the oars" and my old fears of water did not go unnoticed. The answer came to both the Apostles and myself comes in the form of Jesus.  The answer is not relief from the water. Jesus does not calm by removing the water from the equation.  Jesus calms the water and thereby calming me, them or us.

        When the latency of my homosexuality was on the cusp of being revealed at the age of fifty, I was having some incredibly vivid dreams. Some were horrific and frightening. One recurring theme was that I was in a house surrounded by wildly rising flood waters. I have come to know that the water involved the emotions rising up within me about 'something'. Further, I came to know that what was rising up was my mind trying to come to terms with the fact that I am gay. Faith, prayers, supportive people and therapy allowed me to come out and accept joyfully that which I had suppressed for so many years. I firmly believe that it is God that began and supported the process of me coming out.  Those dreams stopped when I was able to say out loud to myself that "I am gay!".  God calmed the waters again.

           As all life on earth springs from water, so the significance of water is held as a human universal. It can involve cleansing clothes and cleansing souls. Water can produce magnitudes of electrical power, cause horrific floods or devastating tsunamis. Water also supports the very life we live. Without water we would die.

           Water is symbolic of so much of life and of God herself. Water sustains us, God is in our essence. How can we separate the two?   My thoughts on water. Keep treading, keep loving. Drink of the living waters.

Mark 6:45-52

 Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After saying farewell to them, he went up on the mountain to pray.

 When evening came, the boat was out on the lake, and he was alone on the land. When he saw that they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind, he came towards them early in the morning, walking on the lake. He intended to pass them by. But when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought it was a ghost and cried out; for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.’ Then he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened.

You feed them

       It isn't that I do not believe in miracles, I surely do. I have a problem though, a doubt about the miracle noted in today's passage.  It seems to rake against every logical and practical thing I believe. It's not that I think God can't do it, or wouldn't do it, it is simply that it is contrary to anything I have ever experienced or seen. Is there some other meaning or intent to this passage?

     I have heard several explanations about this passage over the years. Some speak to an outright miracle and others speak to the miraculousness or a willingness to share. There is one that fits into my understanding of things.  The statement 'You give them something to eat" speaks as loudly today as it did in that remote deserted place.  We have a communal responsibility to feed.  It is a need of all living things if not a right. Even if you do not physically feed the masses we must at lest give our brothers and sisters the means to which they can obtain food.

        In today's passage we have a situation that is not life threatening. This is no caravan seeking salvation or freedom from a war torn foreign land, tyranny or requiring asylum. The people in this passage came to Jesus out of another hunger, a spiritual hunger to feed their own innate ( divine ) nature.  They hungered to be fed and to drink the 'living water'.  A Republican might say, feed yourselves you lazy dopey bastard, you came out here into nowhere without preparations for food? I don't believe that is how we are called to act or react.  Just as the Apostles were tasked with feeding the masses , so are we tasked with feeding our brothers and sisters.

          Many years ago in a class on religious formation we were asked to set out many brown shopping bags all opened, sitting and lined up. They represented the world. The bag that was labelled United States was overflowing and yet, it represented a relatively minuscule population compared to the entire world. The other bags 'of the world' were all partially filled or empty.  It is a sad testimonial that such a small percentage of God's beloved creation consumes and controls such an overwhelmingly large mount of food.  We can easily see that God is saying to us, the U.S us, 'you feed them'. We certainly have the means and if we truly believe in the brotherhood of mankind, we are indeed responsible.

        The food is there, the logistics are there, perhaps it is our own hearts that are not there. Perhaps there needs to be a paradigm shift of tectonic proportions.  Jesus did not say that the masses were dopes for coming out into the deserted place to hear him.  Those people were certainly not desperate in ways we would know of famines and political escape caravans. Still Jesus said 'you feed them'. Are we less responsible, especially if you claim to be His follower? We are responsible no matter what we believe as dogma or faith because we are all brothers and sisters. Period.

       

Mark 6:30-44

 The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, ‘Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. When it grew late, his disciples came to him and said, ‘This is a deserted place, and the hour is now very late;send them away so that they may go into the surrounding country and villages and buy something for themselves to eat.’ But he answered them, ‘You give them something to eat.’ They said to him, ‘Are we to go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread, and give it to them to eat?’ And he said to them, ‘How many loaves have you? Go and see.’ When they had found out, they said, ‘Five, and two fish.’ Then he ordered them to get all the people to sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and of fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people; and he divided the two fish among them all. And all ate and were filled; and they took up twelve baskets full of broken pieces and of the fish. Those who had eaten the loaves numbered five thousand men.