Palancas

       When I was a teenager I went on a retreat called a Cursillo.  I attribute to that experience, the knowledge that God created me just as I am and that God loves me without condition. I came to know this in every fiber of my being. It isn't to say that I have not made mistakes, been selfish or am guaranteed  a free pass to anything. That is especially true of pain and sorrow. I have seen considerable pain, anguish, loss and trials.

       One of the practises of this retreat was the support of loved ones and others that preceded you on these weekend experiences. They would offer 'palancas' ( a lever) to help you, to remember you and give you support. The main effort were letters of support, wisdom and love from people, especially family and other loved ones. It is all a very powerful tool to know that others support you and have your back.  Another tool if you will was our practice of people putting a pebble in our own shoe for you. I am not sure if that practice originated with the song from Godspell but it was a common practice to support a cursillista in this way. You willingly offer an irritant to yourself, you willingly submit to a small bit of inconvenience or pain so that perhaps it will take away the pain or help the progress of the cursillista.

         This practice may simply be a modern version of the horrible ancient practice of self flagellation. I am really  not in favour of hurting oneself, life can do enough of that. Why invite more?  But as questionable as what that 'pebble practice' was, it spoke loudly to  today's reading.  There is not growth without some pain. We all most break free of our cocoons to become the butterflies that God created us to be. It is no small or easy task. Life is like this.  We are hardened, we break, we grow, we love. We support, we stand beside, we know that through it all, God is with us.

           I have had many good and wonderful people that I have known and loved pass on to their heavenly reward. I did not wish any of them to die. One does not ask for such pain. Like Jesus, we may ask if this cup may pass us by. I still miss desperately many whom I loved and I miss their physical presence. This too though is part of the pain and brokenness we must experience to grow, love and know the fragility and power of life in our midst.

         We never ask for pain, it will show up in our lives in due course. A pebble in our shoe, broken love, accidents, death, all kinds of sorrow and hurt. Rather than live and embrace the pain, today's passage reminds us that through pain can come growth. Only through brokenness can we emerge with new growth and become a new and profoundly loving being emulating God in unlimited love and concern, cherishing and accepting life as it is.  

John 12:24-32

Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honour.

 ‘Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—“Father, save me from this hour”? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.’ Then a voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’ The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, ‘An angel has spoken to him.’ Jesus answered, ‘This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgement of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out.And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.’