Divorce proceedings

       Can no one give me a straight answer? Is divorce allowed or not allowed? Is it called an 'annullment' or is it a divorce by any other name? In today's passage I am left wondering. Probably because I am divorced ( civilly ) and have had a marriage 'anulled' by the Roman church, I find a particular interest in today's passage.

        Of all the people we can consult, you would think Jesus was the definitive authority. Jesus speaks not only of no divorce but that the participants essentially commit adultery when moving on to another relationship. Perhaps it isn't what Jesus was speaking about but it seems a bit obvious and 'in your face'.

         As a devout Roman Catholic at one time, I steeped myself in the quasi logic of not believing in divorce but instead relying on annulments. Really, isn't it a religious annulment something that simply gives more power to the white European male dominated church? By any other name - still a divorce as long as an offering ($$) is in hand. 

         If I am going to bend the words of Christ as we seem to be willing to do in these cases, I prefer the Episcopal way. I prefer the way of Bishop Gene Robinson whose case is so similar to my own. That is, when facing a divorce, there should be of course ( #1 ), be a good reason. Secondly, if you agree that this is more than a civil marriage and that a Sacrament is involved, there should be some release of vows.  Perhaps there should be a meeting of the minds and hearts, some mending and moving on. This of course takes a large amount of control away from the Church. It might easily be prone to abuse I suppose but who will be sinning and who will be in control?  It might be considered the height of arrogance for a Church to come up up with some money laden way to do away with a marriage vow. In addition, who are they to judge what is in the hearts of people?  The Roman church does not have a terribly good track record in this regard. In fact their history of inquisitions, abuse, scandal and the obfuscation of scandal is legendary and paramount. Nobody does it better.

       As far as marriage goes, I do believe it is a Sacrament, capital "S".  But I do not believe in such things as 'impediments' that can miraculously negate a marriage vow.  We participate in Sacraments as totally as we can at any given moment in our lives.  I find it ridiculous to believe that anyone can judge the level ( partially or full ) of participation of a Sacrament based on their judgment of someones intellect, heart, damaged psyche , illness or whatever.

       Whatever we choose to believe about divorce, we must face our lives with honesty, faith and love. As with most of life, our relationship with others is the avenue to reveal ourselves and our love of God. Should our mistakes ( sins? ) be any less of an occasion to show how much we love, forgive and move on?

          

           

Mark 10:1-16

He left that place and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. And crowds again gathered around him; and, as was his custom, he again taught them.

 Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’They said, ‘Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.’ But Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’

 Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’

 People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.’ And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.