Here's a confession. Quite often I never make it through morning prayer. I was taught that when I came to a part of Scripture from the hours that spoke to me, I should stop and meditate on that section, line or subject. I am sure my Bishop would not have caught his breath at the mention of the word 'meditation'. His attentiveness to policy was only surpassed by his penchant for covering up scandal and having the right refrigerator for the right wine involved. Thousands of dollars for multiple refrigerators in his stately 'apartment'. But I digress.
So this morning I only reached the part where I begin to read about the holy person for the day. Today it is William Laud. What stuck me almost immediately about this Archbishop of Canterbury ( 1633 to 1645 ) was the controversy about use of surplices. Controversy might be a mild word. In any event the attire that one used in worship or as a member of the choir was the point of this great debate which escalated far beyond that until William spent four years locked in the tower and was eventually executed. These people were serious about their religion, appropriate garments for worship and adherence to tradition.
Now lets move forward to me coming out 12 years ago. I met a man and started a relationship that eventually had us moving in together. Two somewhat middle aged men moving in together later in life. Each of us was aware that we might be set in our own ways and have specific ideas about how things should be done. Also, we would have to somehow learn to share a defined space. In the process of religious training and the process of coming out and divorce, I was acutely aware of the willingness to give things up. It was easy for me to see that most things are really of little import. I can tell what is truly important. My partner, now husband, while having no formal religious training, was acutely aware of how blessed we were to have found each other and that most everything else was far less important. The key was that we were together and everything else paled in comparison.
There once was a controversy in my home parish where a Deacon had made Communion host at home with his wife for the Thanksgiving service. He added a dash of honey ( you know, of locusts and wild honey? ) to the recipe. The controversy was immediate. The resultant hysteria had the phone wires to the Bishop's office practically melting with anger. The Sacrament was invalid! Sinner! How dare that Deacon!
I would never make light of someones faith, but rules and rubrics? I think it is important for me ( and us ) to assess what is truly important in our lives, our lives of faith as well as our secular lives. Sometimes we can be beholden if not imprisoned by our need to have things this way or that. Everything must be just so. Our compulsive natures can rule and ruin us. What is really important?
The Pharisees had countless rules that had to be maintained in order to worship correctly and be be a good observant Jew. Jesus himself railed against such practises saying that they made people fit for hell. Do we create a hell with our attentiveness if not demands that things go a certain way, things are done a certain way? Is not our faith and love paramount? What is it that God is asking us to do?
Personally, I still like a good cassock to walk around the house in as I get going, having coffee, praying and writing. That however is certainly not going to be a demand or my day will be ruined. The important thing of course, is the coffee.
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